4-06 Extreme

Extreme

From Chinese restaurants to love lodges to this GQ spread for anal retention… Jarod’s had us running around in his game show hell. Why?

Miss Parker

Extreme

From Chinese restaurants to love lodges to this GQ spread for anal retention… Jarod’s had us running around in his game show hell. Why?

Miss Parker

Original air date: December 4, 1999

Written by: Steven Long Mitchell & Craig W. Van Sickle

Directed by: Scott Lautanen

While Jarod infiltrates a thrill-seeking gang to find out the real cause behind a bungled bungee jump, Miss Parker discovers a link between Lyle and the torture-murder of a missing waitress.

Jarod’s Discoveries: Game Shows, Bungee Jumping, Motorcycle Racing, Cheerios

Jarod’s Occupations: Doctor, Extreme Thrill Seeker, Game Show Host

Jarod’s Aliases: Jarod Nichols, Jarod Winkerdale

Behind the scenes insights and the Creator’s Take

Official Synopsis

Jarod investigates the cause of a suspicious, bungled bungee jump that put a man into a coma.

Miss Parker, Broots, and Sydney rummage through Jarod’s latest hideaway. They find a collection of risk-taking books and paraphernalia like parachutes and handcuffs. Meanwhile, on a nearby bridge, Jarod prepares for a bungee jump. Jarod tests his well-used bungee jump cord, then leaps off the bridge in a non-eventful fall.

Jarod launches an investigation surrounding a bungee jump gone awry for young Tony Goltz. Tony now lies comatose in a nearby hospital. According to police, Tony took a bungee jump from a bridge too low with a bungee cord too long. Posing as Dr. Nichols, Jarod discovers that the minute glass fragments in Tony’s hair are industrial grade glass. Next, Jarod talks with Tony’s mother, Elana Goltz. Elana tells Jarod that Tony left home a year earlier to look for his thrill-seeking father, who had left the family years before. After Tony’s accident, his devoted sister, Carrie, disappeared. During his search for his father, Tony developed a friendship with a thrill-seeker named Zed.

On a remote road, Jarod races his motorcycle aside a young female rider who has to bail out in a ditch. The girl, who calls herself “Shea,” (and is, in actuality, Carrie Goltz), grudgingly allows Jarod to take her to Zed’s house. Zed and his two thrill-seeking cohorts, Jo Jo and Mackey, consume some beer as Jarod and “Shea” arrive. Jarod ingratiates himself with Zed by engaging him in a game of “chicken.”

Jarod sends a series of game-show packages and videotapes to the Center that are peppered with vague hints of his whereabouts. In addition, a restaurant receipt found in Jarod’s hideaway leads the trio to a Chinese restaurant and the trail of a missing Asian waitress.

Jarod tracks the industrial glass fragments to a big robbery heist that occurred on the top floor of a high rise. The robbers escaped by jumping through glass windows and sliding to the ground on ropes. Shea surprises Jarod as he searches for evidence in Zed’s personal effects. As a quick diversion, Jarod tosses a photo in front of Shea that includes Tony. Her reaction confirms Jared’s suspicion about Shea’s true identity. Shea describes Zed’s ultimate test—a reckless stunt, required as group initiation. Zed suddenly appears and decides to put Jarod through this ultimate test by handcuffing and throwing him to the bottom of the pool. As Jarod struggles, Shea pleads with Zed to help him. With only seconds to spare, Zed finally throws Jarod the key. Jarod escapes and is officially inducted into the group.

Jarod reveals to Shea that he knows her true identify. Shea, it turns out, believes that Zed caused Tony’s death. She states that Zed told Tony that he could help him find his father because he used to ride with him. However, unbeknownst to Tony, his dad died years earlier. Consequently, Zed strung Tony along with bogus stories to keep him in the group. When Tony discovered the truth, he planned to confront Zed and get out of the group.

Later, in a thrill seeking scheme planned by Zed, Shea must break into an expensive house and steal warehouse blueprints. As Shea breaks into the house, Zed calls the police. Jarod rushes in and saves Shea. Back at Zed’s bungalow, the group examines the warehouse blueprints to ready for their latest thrill: robbing a money-laundering operation. However, Zed tells Jarod that his cover is blown, as Jo Jo had followed Jarod to the hospital when he visited Tony. Zed tosses a handcuffed Jarod into the pool and disposes of the keys. Jarod frees himself by using his belt prong to open the handcuffs.

In a bizarre twist, the trail of the missing Asian waitress and Jarod’s game show clues lead Miss Parker, Sydney and Broots to Lyle’s apartment. There, the trio discovers a disturbing closet reminiscent of something from Lyle’s childhood. Lyle’s foster father kept him locked in a wood shed for weeks at a time. This closet resembles a woodshed—complete with a stained mattress and shackles. Even more disturbing, they find evidence that implicates Lyle in the possible torture-murder of the missing Asian waitress. At the Centre, an unsuspecting Lyle returns from a retreat. Miss Parker surmises that Lyle buried the body of the waitress.

Meanwhile, in the warehouse, a scared, cuffed Shea watches as Zed, Jo Jo and Mackey begin their “ultimate thrill” crime of stealing from the money-laundering operation. When Jo Jo and Mackey disappear with their duffel bags, Jarod ambushes Zed and handcuffs him. Jarod takes Zed to the same bridge where Tony had his bungee accident. Jarod hangs him upside down from the bridge with a bungee cord tied around one ankle. Tauntingly, he tells Zed that he is going to give him the same special thrill he gave Tony. He then begins to cut the rope. A panicked Zed admits that he tied Tony to a faulty bungee cord after Tony told Zed that he was going to the police with information about all the group’s thrill crimes. Jarod leaves Zed bobbing and whimpering on the secure bungee cord.

From outside Tony’s hospital room, Jarod talks to Miss Parker on his cell phone. He warns her that someone has to stop Lyle.

Movies

Extreme Transcript


Game Show Host		All right, could it behind door number one, two, or three? And you have first choice right now, Kathy. What door do you want?
Kathy		Three. Door number three.
Host		And, Debbie? Debbie, just for the fun of it- just for the fun of it, which one would you have chosen if you went for it?
Debbie		Two
Host		Number two. What was behind number two? Just two- $2,000 in cash because the super deal was behind… number one! And number three had the $1,000.
		[Knocking]
Woman		Ready to take the plunge?
Jarod		Ready. It’s my “big deal of the day.”
Man		Jarod must’ve screwed up bad if they sent three of ya out here to close him down. You sure that you’re his Amway field representatives?
Miss Parker		Do you really think that we could fool someone as smart as youself?
Man		Well, uh, I-I guess it’s that Amway thing. Uh, I just never thought of Jarod as a glycerin and honey soap kind of guy. That is what you people sell, isn’t it? Soap?
Broots		Yeah, uh, everything from, uh, baby shampoo to, uh, industrial-strength pool cleaner.
Miss Parker		That’d be good for you.
Broots		Oh, look. The Match Game, the home version.
Man		Uh, Jarod, he’s a – he’s a regular lightning round lunatic. When he’s not surfin’ the waves, he’s surfin’ the Game Show Channel.
Sydney		Parker?
Miss Parker		Pushing the Limits. Taking Risks. Confessions of an Adrenaline Junkie. What are we talkin’ about here, Syd? Jarod Knievel jumping Buicks at Caesars?
Man		It’s daredevil stuff, you know? He’s always doing dangerous things like night surfing and street luge. He even strapped that bulletproof vest on once and he had me shoot him blindfolded!
Sydney		All manifestations of an obsession with risk-taking.
Man		What kind of training do you put your salespeople through, actually?
Miss Parker		We’ll send you a brochure. Dr. Quackenbush, once again, your diagnosis has come too late to find Jarod.
Man		Well, not that late. He left less than an hour ago.
Miss Parker		Was that with or without his blindfold?
Man		You don’t need a blindfold to jump off a bridge.
Woman		You sure you want to stay with this old cord, Jarod? You’ve done 295 on this one.
Jarod		Well, I only really need it to last 296. [Yelling]
Jarod		Mr. Goltz’s M.R.I. reveals a closed fracture of the right parietal bone with a subdural hematoma.
Man		We’ve inserted a C.S.F. shunt so we should know more once his edema’s resolved.
Jarod		I noticed on his admission chart the presence of glass fragments in his hair.
Man		It’s a mystery. I assumed they came from his glasses. But his mother says Tony doesn’t wear them.
Jarod		Could it have been a sports goggle of some kind?
Man		No. Industrial- grade glass. I, uh, did a lab analysis myself.
Jarod		You did it, not the police?
Man		They’re treating the entire Goltz case as a bungee stunt gone bad. Open and shut. No more, no less.
Tony’s mom		Tony? Honey, come on back home. Your sister and I miss you so.
Jarod		I always keep my family close too.
Tony’s mom		Sorry. You must be Dr. Nichols.
Jarod		Call me Jarod.
Tony’s mom		Oh, please, sit down. When Tony wakes up, I just want him to remember. Actually, I didn’t think I’d ever see these photos again. I thought Tony’s wallet had been lost in the accident but somebody found it at the nurse’s station this morning. It was left in that envelope wrapped in wax paper. Well, at least the pictures were still there. His sister Carrie took those at his last birthday. A week later, he was off looking for his dad.
Jarod		He was searching for his father?
Tony’s mom		His father rode off on a dirt bike in ’91 and never looked back.
Jarod		Searching for your family. It’s instinct.
Tony’s mom		Now his- his sister Carrie’s doing it. Not long after we came out here to look after Tony, she just took off. I’m just hoping that someday, we’ll be smiling like in those pictures again.
Jarod		The best therapy for him is to hear the voice of his family and his friends.
Tony’s mom		I guess that’s just me now. His friends used to come by and visit, but they stopped.
Jarod		Where are they?
Tony’s mom		I don’t know. He and his daredevil friend Zed used to ride motorcycles out a place called Willow Ridge. I guess Zed’s riding alone now.
		[Rock Music, Indistinct]
		[Honking]
		[Tires Screeching]
Jarod		You okay?
Shay		Hey, no problem. I always wanted to be a hood ornament.
Jarod		I’ll take that as a “yes.”
Shay		You know, the way you flew up my tailpipe, I thought you were a cop.
Jarod		Not today. Are you sure you’re all right?
Shay		No, it’s okay. The chick can handle it.
Jarod		Chicks? They call me Jarod.
Shay		Friends call me Shay.
Jarod		Hmm. Friends like Zed?
Shay		You know Zed?
Jarod		I understand that he and his friends race this road.
Shay		Huh. Well, maybe I was right about you. Maybe you are a cop.
Jarod		Just somebody tryin’ to fight the boredom. Oh, by the way, nice racing.
		[Engine Sputtering]
Jarod		It’s not exactly a police escort, but I have an extra seat.

Miss Parker		Ask me, Speed Racer’s kissed the asphalt one too many times without a helmet.
Sydney		Could be a psychotic cry for help.
Lyle		Hi, Sis. So I heard Jarod never came back to his lair. Any luck deciphering his new occupation?
Miss Parker		Don’t quote me, but I think he morphed into the human cannonball.
Sydney		Jarod seems to be exhibiting all the signs of an obsession with extreme thrill-seeking.
Lyle		Hmm. Maybe he’s rejuvenating. Some jump off cliffs, others seek religion. I, for one, replenish my soul by going back to nature.
Miss Parker		Oh.
Lyle		What, surprised to find I like to camp?
Miss Parker		No. Surprised to find you have a soul.
Lyle		On that loving note, I’m off to the wilds for three days. My office will know how to reach me.
Miss Parker		I can die now. I’ve seen it all.
Broots		[Chuckles] You wanna bet? They were just delivered.
Miss Parker		Scratch “human cannonball.” He’s freakin’ Chuck Barris.
Broots		Well, actually, Monty Hall.
Miss Parker		And what exactly is the deal with Jarod’s Big Deal, Broots?
Broots		We open door number one with this key.
Sydney		What about the other two?
Broots		Time-locked. They’ll open at predetermined intervals.
Miss Parker		Give me that. Okay, quizmaster, what is behind door number one?
Broots		Looks like a giant fortune cookie.
Miss Parker		It is a giant fortune cookie.
Broots		So what’s our future hold?
Miss Parker		It’s not about our future. It’s about the past. It’s a dinner bill from a few weeks ago.
Sydney		“The Hidden Truth.” And the waitress was called May Lin.
Broots		“The Hidden Truth.” Yeah. That’s the Chinese restaurant I pass by on my way here. I’ve never been there.
Miss Parker		Me either. You, Syd?
Sydney		I don’t eat rice.
Broots		So what do you think it means, Miss Parker?
Miss Parker		That we need reservations.

Zed		You lose.
Shay		Yo, Zeddie, Jojo, Mackey.
Zed		What up, Shay? Where you been, chillin’ on a beach with a coldie?
Shay		Just riding.
Zed		Yeah?
Shay		You gonna do that luge in a wet suit?
Zed		I’ve been surfin’ today, darlin’. Jojo? But I hear that whaling stretch of road in the Glen’s gettin’ shut down next week.
Shay		So they’re dropping the hill?
Zed		Not soon enough. Name’s Zed.
Jarod		Jarod.
Zed		He’s not some Jehovah’s Witness knockin’ on my door, is he?
Jarod		Well, I’ve witnessed a lot, but never Jehovah.
Zed		That’s good, ’cause I’m broke. And I haven’t seen God. And least not since I had that awesome meltdown lugin’ a canyon last week, hey, guys?
		[Man] Right on!
Zed		You like to ride, “J”?
Jarod		Anything and everything.
Zed		What do you for a living?
Jarod		Well, I seem to have trouble holding down a steady job. I get bored pretty easily.
Zed		Ah, boredom. The endless bowel.
Jarod		What about yourself?
Zed		A job here, a job there, you know. Whatever keeps Cheerios on the table.
Jarod		Amen to that.
Shay		He can ride, Zed. I know since Tony’s been out you’ve been looking for another player.
Zed		Is that right? You up for an endorphin fix?
Jarod		If it takes more nad than than luging down a canyon, sure. Why not?
Zed		Well, if you got ’em, bring ’em along. Then you tell me. Come on, mates. 200 yards, head on. Keep your wheels on the double yellow. In the old days, they used to call this chicken. I think of it more of a chance to, uh, get a grin from the gods.
Jarod		Let’s make them smile.
Zed		Let’s do it.
Shay		I’m damn good, Jarod, but Zed’s great. Don’t blink. He’s cageable.
Onlookers		Oh! Ooh!
Zed		Nice one, “J” man. Not even my mate Tony took me that far. There’s a spot in my tribe if you want it.
Jarod		Mmm. Got nothin’ better to do.
Shay		You know, I’ve never seen Zed take to anybody so fast, Jarod. Easy come, easy go, I guess.
Jarod		Are you talking about Tony?
Shay		Yeah.
Jarod		Who is this guy?
Shay		Tony used to hang with the group before I got here. Then he got messed up in a bungee accident a little over a month ago.
Jarod		Did his cord break?
Shay		Frayed or something while takin’ a plunge off the Parker’s Mill Road. The doctors don’t give him much of a chance. But, hey, like Zed always says, first one to 40 alive loses.
Zed		“J” man! I’m really glad you made it tonight. I don’t know if Shay told you, but Friday nights we don’t exactly square dance around the radio. We like to try new things, push the envelope.
Jarod		Then let’s make the gods grin.
Zed		No, no, no. Let’s make ’em laugh out loud.
		[Man] Whoo!
Zed		Free the brain, free the body. Free the body, free the soul. And you thought we were goin’ hang glidin’ tonight, “J.” Fire walkers in Mauritius learn how to channel their fears, harness them to create a power that could not be denied. It’s a power free for the taking.
Jarod		Nothing is free.
Zed		I’m startin’ to think you’re a slave to the same demons I am, “J.”
Jarod		Without demons, there can be no angels. F.Y.I. Basaltic rock. It’s a much better conductor of heat. If you’re going to free your soul, I say free it.

		The Centre
Broots		I guess our Chinese dinner was officially a zonk last night.
Miss Parker		Any results yet on that dinner bill from the fortune cookie?
Broots		Well, my pal Bodie down in Physical did a rush job for me.
Miss Parker		The geek with cloudy cataracts?
Broots		Yeah. Have you seen them lately? It’s milkier than a Guernsey. Says the kids love it on Halloween. Some zombie thing he does.
Miss Parker		The results, Broots.
Broots		Uh- The- The only prints on the bill belong to the waitress. May, last name, Lin.
Miss Parker		The one who quit over a month ago with no forwarding address?
Broots		Like I said, zonk.
Sydney		Oh, Miss Parker? Jarod’s door number two just opened. Come see what I found inside.
		[Jarod on TV] Thank you, thank you, thank you! It’s time for another exciting game of You Don’t Have a Clue. I’m your host, Jarod Winkerdale and it’s time to see if you have a clue.
Miss Parker		This is no stress disorder, Syd. It’s Chernobyl of the brain. [Chuckles]
		[Jarod on TV] Today’s lucky contestant is Miss Parker! She’ll have overnight to figure out her clue. And if she does, she’ll win a trip to the beautiful Cabins O’ Love hideaway nestled into the rolling hills of Thompson, West Virginia.
Sydney (to Miss Parker)		Don’t look at me. I watch soaps.
		[Jarod on TV] Okay, Miss Parker, here’s your clue. The hidden truth may be missing but you won’t find it until you claim your prize. [Bell Dings]
Broots		“The hidden truth.”
Miss Parker		The name of the restaurant.
Broots		“May. May missing.”
Miss Parker		The waitress May Lin is missing.
Broots		“You won’t find it until you claim your prize.”
Sydney		A trip to the beautiful Cabins O’ Love.
Miss Parker		Beautiful indeed.

Tony’s Mother’s Voice		Tony’s wallet had been lost in the accident but somebody found it at the nurse’s station this morning. It was left in that envelope wrapped in wax paper.
Hot Dog Stand Man		Four bucks.
Jarod		These are delicious.
Man		Oughta be. Harry’s got the dirtiest dirty water dogs in town. Four duckies.
Jarod		My wallet. Have you seen my wallet?
Man		How would I know where it is?
Jarod		Well, since you have such a knack for finding wallets, I thought maybe you knew where mine was.
Man		Look, when I saw on the news that the guy was in a coma from that bungee accident, I felt guilty.
Jarod		Oh, and honorable thief.
Man		I didn’t rob him. I found it. About a month ago in the bushes when I was sweepin’ up glass.
Jarod		Industrial-grade glass.
Man		It was on the sidewalk below that high-rise there. The morning after the robbery, a rare coin dealer on the 30th floor. A bunch of ’em zip-lined from that building through the windows to that one. You’d have to be crazy to try a stunt like that.
Jarod		Or searching for your soul.
		[Door Closes]
Shay		Jarod, what are you doing?
Jarod		I was looking for a wrench. My- my bike’s losing compression. And you?
Shay		Oh, uh, I thought you were Zed.
Jarod		Did you take this picture?
Shay		No. Before I got here.
Jarod		Is that Tony?
Shay		Yeah. I- I guess. Zed used to talk about him all the time right after the accident. More than he does now.
Jarod		Tony and Zed, they were really good friends?
Shay		Tony was in Zed’s inner group. See, with Zed it’s all about the ultimate thrill, pushing the envelope, challenging the people around him to find their true selves. When he thinks you’re ready, he invites you on the ultimate thrill.
Jarod		Ultimate thrill, or ultimate test?
Shay		Both, I guess.
Jarod		Have you been invited?
Shay		I guess he doesn’t think I’m ready yet.
Jarod		And Tony? Was that the ultimate thrill, or the ultimate test?
Shay		I don’t know. If you’re not in, you’re not in.
Zed		Well, I didn’t mean to interrupt.
Shay		[Forced Chuckle] I’ll see you later.
Jarod		So when does all this fun begin?
Zed		Meaning?
Jarod		Meaning I’m not hanging around here for my health. The only people around here who are having any fun are you and your merry little men.
Zed		Well, those merry little men are special people, Jarod. People who have proven themselves, you know? Pushed the limits of both mind and body.
Jarod		And the law? Your toys, they weren’t exactly dropped off by Santa Claus, were they?
Zed		Like I said, “J,” whatever it takes to put Cheerios on the table. Do you think you have what it takes, Jarod?
Jarod		I don’t know. Why don’t you be the judge?
Zed		It’s simple, “J.” I dump you in the water, then I throw in a key. Object: Free yourself before you die.
Shay		Zed, this is too far.
Zed		A closed mind is a crippled mind, Shay. Make fear work for you. Conquer it. Jarod knows. You have to taste death to live life. Right? Oh, I almost forgot. Can you conquer the fear, “J”?
Jarod		You’d be surprised what I can do.
Jojo		One minute.
Shay		Give him the key.
Zed		He’s just gettin’ started, my love.
Shay		What are you doing?
Zed		Like the ads say, helping him be all that he can be. How about you, Shay? How far will you push it to be your best?
Jojo		Ninety seconds. Two minutes.
Zed		No. He don’t want help.
Jojo		2:15.
Jarod		[Coughs]
Zed		Mind conquers body. Welcome to the other side, “J.” Welcome to the merry men.

Cabin O’ Love employee		May Lin stayed in this cabin here.
Miss Parker		Perfect.
Employee		I tired to engage May in some occasional chitchat but the little waitress was a bit stand-offish.
Miss Parker		I can’t imagine what would make her uncomfortable around here.
Employee		Me niether. But I guess them people just like to stick to themselves.
Miss Parker		What kind of racist comment is that?
Employee		Oh, no. I’m not unsophisticated. I was talking about her gender. Single woman and such. You’re unattached, aren’t you?
Miss Parker		As unattached as your limbs are gonna be if you keep eyeballing me like that, Mr. Datsun.
Employee		Well, anyhoo, May Lin up and vamboosed in the middle of the night, skippin’ on her bill. Left her stuff behind too- three dresses, four tops, shoes, socks, cosmetics and six pair of… little black panties. Well, I had to inventory it.
Miss Parker		I bet you did.
Employee		Kinda creepy. Pretty girl like that just vanishin’ and all.
Miss Parker		Yeah. Creepy.


Jarod		A good wrench is hard to come by, isn’t it… Carrie?
Shay/Carrie		[Chuckles] How’d you know?
Jarod		The pain in your eyes when you saw your picture in this picture. Tony is your brother. Your mother is very worried about you.
Shay		I’m gonna find out what happened to Tony. Now, I know Zed is responsible. I just can’t prove it yet.
Jarod		Zed is not someone that you mess with. Now, he talks a mean game about life and about death but when push comes to shove, you’ll be the one doing the dying. I’m here to help you. You’re gonna have to trust me.
Shay		Tony told me that he met this- He met this guy named Zed, who promised to help him find our father. He said he used to ride with Dad back in ’96. Tony trusted him. He believed him.
Jarod		What happened?
Shay		A month ago, the night of Tony’s accident, he called me. I told him that our mother got a call from our grandmother and they hadn’t spoken in years. She said my father died in ’92. That’s way before Zed claims he knew him.
Jarod		So Zed was stringing your brother along.
Shay/Carrie		Tony got really angry, and he said he was gonna confront Zed. But I guess he never got the chance.
Jarod		Maybe he did. Carrie, you are in way over your head. I want you to go home and be with your family. I’ll find out what really happened to your brother.
Shay		No! No way. All right. You mess with my family, you mess with me.
Jarod		Carrie, listen to me.
Carrie/Shay		I don’t even know who you are. I have no idea how you got involved in this, Jarod, but… I like you. So don’t cross me. Please?

		The Centre
Broots		Find anything at the Cabins O’ Love?
Miss Parker		Yeah. How to ruin a pair of Gucci’s with red clay. Yeah, that’s funny. The entire trip was regular laugh riot thanks to Jarod’s whacked-out rendition of Alex Trebek.
Broots		It’s Monty Hall.
		[Buzzer Sounds]
Broots		No time like the present to find out just how whacked-out.
Sydney		What is it?
Miss Parker		Something for you to clean up your theories with.
Broots		There’s a note. “Be careful what you dig for.” There’s an address on here.
Miss Parker		It’s Lyle’s address.
Sydney		Huh.
Miss Parker		Hmm.


Zed		Sorry, Love. It’s up to you. What do you say? “J.” Same invite stands for you as it does for Shay.
Jarod		Invite?
Zed		Yeah. Got a juicy little excursion to the other side planned for tonight. That is, if you’re up to it.
Shay		Anything Jarod can handle, I can too.
Zed		Even death? As the ancients said when the gods created man, they saw death and saved life for themselves. I say, since we can’t live forever, let’s at least live. Time to do battle with the gods. Pass tonight’s test and there’ll be no limit.
		[Door Opens, Closes]
Jarod		You don’t have to do this, Carrie.
Carrie/Shay		The name is Shay. Don’t forget it.
Zed		Good news, Shay. The owners of the house aren’t home, makin’ your job easier. There’s a set of blueprints in the desk in the office. Bring them to me, win valuable prizes.
Shay		You want me to rob the house?
Zed		This is not about stealin’, love. This is about pushin’ the envelope.
Jarod		She’s not ready.
Shay		I can do it!
Zed		Hey, I know you can do it. But can you feel it? Can you feel the danger? That’s your passage to the other side.
		[Dialing, Line Ringing]
Zed		Yeah. Pac Tech Security? I’d like to report a burglary. 1600 Seaward.
Jarod		You’re setting her up?
Zed		I’m just adding a dash of Tabasco to the soup.
Jarod		You’re sending her into a danger she’s not ready for.
Zed		There’s only one way to find out, you know?
Jarod		Uh, hello. Sorry. I just made a real big mistake. It was just my daughter coming home late without a key.
Zed		You’re messin’ with my game.
Jarod		Just tryin’ to have a little fun. Raise the bar a little bit. Nothing like a few 911 calls to spice up the soup.
Zed		Go.
		[Dogs Barking]
Zed		Circle.
Jarod		Carrie? Carrie?
		[Grunting]
Jarod		It’s me! It’s me! It’s me.
Carrie/Shay		Jarod! I did it. I got the blueprints.
Jarod		You’re bleeding.
Shay		I cut myself breaking in, and –
Police		Freeze! Police!
Jarod		Damn it!
Officer (to other officer)		Go that way!
Cop		Stop!
Zed		Go, go, go! Move it!

Zed		“J” man. The Cheerios are in the cupboard.
Jarod		Damn thing started bleeding again. I was looking for something to stop it up.
Zed		Yeah, well, there’s no thrill in bleedin’ to death, is there? You know, whether it’s a suicide lunge, bungee dive, it’s all about trust in yourself and the ones around you.
Jarod		Trust is key.
Zed		Exactly. First aid kit’s in the bathroom down the hall.
Jarod		Thank you.
		[Monitor Beeping]

Jarod		It’s me. Shh. It’s Jarod. We’re getting out of here.
Shay		Jarod, Zed’s been asking for you all night. It’s almost time.
Jarod		For what, his final challenge? You’re coming with me.
Shay		Forget it! If this son of a bitch is responsible for my brother’s coma, I have to prove it.
Jarod		That’s going to be very difficult for you to do from prison. I found out that the Acme Warehouse is a front for money laundering. He’s gonna use you to steal cash just like he used your brother to rob that coin dealer the night of your brother’s so-called accident. Now, we are leaving.
Zed		I don’t think so, “J.” You know, Shay, your brother Tony was the calmest dude I ever saw at 30 stories. You, on the other hand, look a little pale. But that’s all right, ’cause I only need you as a sacrificial lamb right now. Isn’t that right, Doc? Jojo followed you to the hospital. I don’t know who you are, but this different identity scene must be a rush, huh? Let’s go.
Jarod		Now I know what Tony must have felt when you pushed him off that bridge wearing that faulty bungee cord.
Zed		This side won’t be the same without you, “J.”
Zed’s pal		Weights are in, Zeddie.
Zed		Give my best to the beast of the gods.
Shay		He’ll die!
Zed		Bring her with.
Shay		You-
Jarod		[Gasping]

		Lyle’s Place
Broots		I sure hope Lyle is still on his campout.
Sydney		It’s stuffy in here.
Miss Parker		Being here gives me the creeps.
Broots		Wow. His decor is like Kung Fu meets The Jetsons.
Miss Parker		From Chinese restaurants to love lodges to this GQ spread for anal retention… Jarod’s had us running around in his game show hell. Why?
Sydney		To find a grand prize of some kind here in Lyle’s apartment. Something incongruous with the surroundings. Something out of place.
Broots		A speck of dust would be out of place in this joint.
Sydney		I found his Centre expense report. You can learn a lot about a man based on the way he spends his money.
Miss Parker		Like the fact that my thumbless sibling rips off the Centre for everything from silk stockings to herbal laxatives. Likes to dine out too. Look at that. There must be over a dozen charges for The Hidden Truth.
Broots		That’s where May Lin worked.
Sydney		And he has charges from the Cabins O’ Love Lodge.
Miss Parker		Checked out the same day May Lin vanished.
Broots		Miss Parker? There’s two shovels here. They both have red clay on them. Not unlike the clay you found on your shoes. Uh-oh.
Miss Parker		What?
Broots		There’s a door. Ow. I got a bad feeling about this.
Miss Parker		Smile, Broots. We just won the big deal of the day.
Broots		It’s a shed, just like the one Jarod sent us. This doesn’t make sense.
Sydney		It makes perfect sense. Mr. Lyle is locking himself away.
Broots		Oh. That makes sense?
Sydney		As a child, Mr. Lyle’s foster father kept him locked away in a woodshed weeks at a time. We all try to preserve our childhood with one ritual or another. In Lyle’s case, this woodshed may be the only place in the whole world where he feels safe.
Broots		What does that have to do with May Lin?
Miss Parker		Everything.
Broots		You mean he-
Sydney		I believe the word is torture.
Miss Parker		I believe the word is murder. And the Jeopardy answer is he sleeps in a shed just like the one he was tortured in when he was little. He stalks and kidnaps Asian women who he then brings to a hidden torture chamber
Broots		Who is Mr. Lyle?
Miss Parker		Or what?

Zed		We’re almost into the cash room, boys.
		[Beeping]
Zed		Got it. We’re in.
		[Buzzer Sounds]
Zed		It’s payday. Go get the cash. Go!
Shay		[Gasps]
Zed		Smile, Shay. This is supposed to be the fun part.
Zed’s pal		Come on. Let’s go. Best thrill yet.
Jojo		Yo, Zeddie! It’s locked. Come on, Zeddie!
		[Men Shouting, Indistinct] [Alarm Sounding]
Zed		What is goin’ on here? Aah!
Jarod		You know, it’s amazing what you can with a pair of wire cutters and a garage door opener.
Zed		Take these cuffs off now!
Jarod		That wouldn’t be any fun. Where’s the thrill in that? Speaking of which, I got a surprised for you. Just… don’t go away.
Zed		[Yells]
Jarod (to Carrie)		Here. Go to your mom. She’s worried about you. Now, go.
Zed		What the hell are you doing?
Jarod		I’m giving you something that you didn’t give Tony- a chance. Slim, but a chance.
Zed		What’s going on, “J”?
Jarod		The ultimate thrill. The ultimate test. Or should I say, the ultimate splat? Wow. This cord is so old. I don’t- I don’t know if it’s gonna make it through another jump. Oh, well, like you say- [imitating Zed] “It’s time to do battle with the beast of the gods.”
Zed		Pull me up, “J,” now!
Jarod		Oh, can you feel it? Can you feel the fear? That’s your ticket to the ultimate thrill.
Zed		Yeah! Get me down from here!
Jarod		Did you Tony Goltz that chance? He trusted you. He trusted you to find the father that he’d been searching for. He found out you lied to him, that you were just using him, turning him into a thief.
Zed		Tony was gutsy… but stupid.
Jarod		He was going to turn you into the police so you tied him to a faulty bungee cord and you tossed him to his death. Only he didn’t die, did he? Now he’s lying in a hospital bed trapped inside his own body and he may never again experience another thrill. But then again, neither will you.
Zed		No. No. No. No. No!
Jarod		Ready, set-
Zed		Okay! Okay! I did it! I knew Tony was gonna go to the police. Now get me down from here!
Jarod		You’d better relax, Zed. Come on. You feel it?
Zed		Yeah, well-
Jarod		You feel the danger? That’s your passage to the other side, remember?
Zed		No!
Jarod		Enjoy your journey.
Zed		No!
Jarod		Oh, like you said… You’ve got to taste death to experience life.
		[Yelling]

Jarod		I guess this old cord had one more jump in it after all.
Zed		Get me out of here!

		The Centre
Lyle		It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. What? Jarod attend a Monty Hall garage sale?
Broots		Mr. Lyle, you seem so, um-
Lyle		Relaxed? Yeah, I just came in from the mountains. I heard you had a lead on Jarod.
Miss Parker		No, all of this… was a dead end.
Lyle		Didn’t even *shed* any light on his personality, Syd?
Sydney		No. Not on his.
Lyle		Oh, well. Um, nothing personal, but you three look terrible. You should take a break, rejuvenate, get into the great outdoors, relieves some of that stress. God knows it makes me feel so alive. [Whistling]
		[Cell Phone Ringing]
Broots		I’m gonna throw up.
Miss Parker (into mobile)		What?
Jarod		One of us has to stop him, Miss Parker. I was too late for May Lin.
Miss Parker		I’ll keep my eyes open. Count on it. Jarod, we took a hell of a risk breaking into Lyle’s apartment.
Jarod		Sometimes, the risks we take are worth it. Well, I’ll see you next time on “The Feud.”