1-08 Not Even a Mouse

1-08 Not Even a Mouse

Not Even a Mouse

Face it, Sydney. It’s almost Christmas. He’s not going to call.

Miss Parker

Not Even a Mouse

Face it, Sydney. It’s almost Christmas. He’s not going to call.

Miss Parker

Original air date: December 14, 1996

Written by: Juan Carlos Coto

Directed by: Thomas J. Wright

Now a member of the coroner’s unit, Jarod investigates a deadly hit and run involving a man all the homeless people knew as ‘Christmas George.’

Jarod’s Discoveries: Fruitcake, Candy Canes, Santa Claus, The Night Before Christmas

Jarod’s Occupations: Coroner, 911 Operator

Jarod’s Aliases: Jarod Marley


Behind the scenes insights and the Creator’s Take

Official Synopsis

As Christmas approaches…Jarod becomes a coroner in his effort to learn the truth about a man dressed as Santa Claus who was killed in a hit-and-run accident. 


In flashback, Young Jarod escapes from the Centre and makes his way outside, where he looks skyward and twirls slowly as snowflakes fall from above…if only for a moment.

In Baltimore, Jarod, now a member of a coroner’s unit, helps retrieve the remains of a man dressed as Santa Claus.  At the coroner’s office, Fugimore introduces Jarod to the chief coroner, Dr. Lisabeth Drake.  Fugimore tells the others that the dead Santa is really Theodore Hargrove, a stockbroker who played St. Nick at a Christmas party downtown.  Jarod believes Hargrove died of a variety of factors, but mainly of a heart attack.  By studying some eggnog found near the body, and the way it curdled, Jarod is able to deduce the time of death.  Shortly thereafter, Jarod receives a fruitcake from one of his other colleagues, Guerra.

Two kids playing in the snow find the body of a young woman.  Guerra labels the victim “LGL,” or “Little Girl Lost,” who will in all likelihood never by identified.  Jarod, however, empathizes with the girl’s family.  Later, Jarod approaches a homeless man, Harry, and mentions the name “Christmas George.”  It turns out that George enjoyed dressing as Santa around Christmas and volunteered his time at a local shelter.  That is, until he died.

Mr. Parker contacts his daughter and invites her to a holiday gathering at a club.  Miss Parker promises she will attend.

Jarod observes as Fugimora removes highly toxic poison from a puffer fish…one she intends to serve as Christmas dinner.  She explains that her uncle was a master fugu chef in Tokyo.  Later, Jarod makes his way to a room containing old coroner’s reports.  He also finds employment as a 911 dispatch operator, where he makes a copy of an audio recording.  The recording, it turns out, is of the call Harry made when he discovered George’s body.  As the recording plays, Harry describes how his friend was injured in a hit-and-run accident in front of the children’s shelter.  Shortly thereafter, Jarod pays Harry a visit.  As they converse, Harry states that he never left his friend’s side until the coroner showed up at the scene.  Jarod finds it interesting that the coroner arrived before the police.  According to Harry, George was still clinging to life.  The coroner gave him a shot, to no avail.  Jarod realizes George is describing Dr. Drake.

Jarod informs Guerra that he identified the dead woman found in the snow after he observed signs that parallel bars were her specialty.  Later, Jarod approaches Fugimora about some autopsies that were performed on Christmas Eve.  According to case files, there were only two people admitted: hit-and-run victim George, and an elderly woman named Edwina Morris.  Fugimora reveals that Dr. Drake arrived at the hospital on Christmas Eve to perform George’s autopsy…something Jarod finds extremely odd.  Jarod points out that according to toxicology reports, traces of phenotripticol were found in Edwina Morris’ blood.  The drug is used to sedate patients suffering psychotic episodes, and in stronger doses, produces a state of paralysis.  Jarod believes that Dr. Drake deliberately switched the toxicology reports.

In flashback, Young Jarod observes as Young Miss Parker takes an interest in some rabbits housed at the Centre.  Though Parker would love to have one as a pet, her father will not allow it.

Jarod strategically positions himself in front of Dr. Drake’s car, causing her to run into him.  Drake pulls out her doctor’s bag and tends to his wounds.  Later, Jarod breaks into Drake’s car, searches though her bag and locates a bottle of phenotripticol.

Jarod presents Drake with some homemade fruit cake, which she samples.  Shortly thereafter, she takes ill.  Jarod informs her that some puffer fish poison may have accidentally slipped into the batter.  Jarod refuses to call 911 for help, as paramedics would discover that he accidentally poisoned her, ending his career (paralleling Drake’s involvement with George a year earlier).  Jarod then recounts how Drake had a little too much to drink at a Christmas party, and as she was driving home, hit George with her car and left him in the snow.  When she heard a police report that George was still alive, she returned to the scene before police arrived and injected George with phenotripticol.  Jarod injects Drake with the same drug, causing paralysis.  He then tells Drake that he will declare she is dead, allowing an unsuspecting coroner to finish the job.  Later, however, it becomes apparent that Jarod notified Fugimora about the phenotripticol injection.

Mr. Parker contacts his daughter and announces that plans for their Christmas get-together have been cancelled.

Sydney makes his way to a convalescent home to visit his brother, who has been in a vegetative state for some thirty years.  One of the workers, Desmond, informs Sydney that Jarod, who had identified himself as Sydney’s son, had dropped by earlier to leave a gift.

Miss Parker receives her gift from Jarod: a pet rabbit.

Jarod reads Twas the Night Before Christmas to children at a shelter.  Later, he stands outside and twirls slowly as snowflakes fall from the sky.

1-08 Not Even a Mouse

Not Even a Mouse Transcript



Sweeper   Already checked corridor 2. Nothing there.
Sweeper 1   Anything at all?
Sweeper 2   Where is he?
Sydney   Find him. Come on! Let’s go!
Elf   Well, I guess Mama wont be kissing Santa Claus this year.
Detective Guerra   Just tell me what you saw.
Elf   Hey, I’m just a elf. I do what I’m told. You know? Be jolly? Besides I haven’t seen the big guy since the party last night.
Detective Guerra   Oh yeah?
Elf   When are you gonna shovel him out?
Detective Guerra   Soon enough, the meat wagon just got here.
Elf   Don’t you mean the meat sleigh?
Detective Guerra   Ho ho ho.
Fugimora   Hey.
Detective Guerra   Evenin’.
Fugimora   Okay, got a live one.
Jarod   A live one?
Fugimora   It’s a joke. Snow blowers must have buried him.
Jarod   Is that… Santa Claus?
Fugimora   Yeah, the red hat’s a dead give away. Anybody got a shovel?
Jarod   No. But I’ve got the gift wrap.
Fugimora   Thanks Gus. Dr Drake? These just came in from the mayor’s office.
Drake   Same gift as last year?
Fugimora   Smells like it.
Drake   Oh, well, ’tis the season Fugimora. Pass ’em out. We’ll see who survives this year.
Fugimora   Yes ma’am.
Drake   Uh, so how’s the new guy doin’?
Fugimora   A lot better than Santa. Drinking
on the job?
Jarod   Actually, this was from the scene.
Fugimora   Dr Jarod Marley? Meet Dr Lisabeth Drake, our chief coroner.
Jarod   Hello.
Drake   Hi, you finished with St Nick?
Jarod   Yes I am.
Drake   Detective Guerra. Gee, you’re right on time. Now can we do this?
Fugimora   Victim is not Kriss Kringle as we first suspected, but a Theodore Hargrove, 58, stockbroker, played Santa at one hell of a Christmas party downtown. Go ahead Doctor.
Jarod   He died of a combination of factors, mainly a heart attack.
Drake   Kim, I thought we were going with exposure.
Jarod   Well, that was my first instinct, but further examination revealed the truth.
Detective Guerra   Heart attack makes sense. Folks at the office part said St Nick was doin’ on hell of a lambada last night.
Jarod   I don’t know who Lambada is, but yes, lividity was affected by the cold. But the blood distribution in the leg muscles would suggest he was doing strenuous acts.
Detective Guerra   What about time of death?
Drake   No way. We can’t pull that off in this weather.
Jarod   Actually that’s where this came in. The eggnog was hard when we found it, but it wasn’t completely frozen through. Mainly because Mr Hargrove had quite a bit of brandy in it.
Detective Guerra   Oh, there’s a shocker.
Jarod   The milk had time to curdle. So I compared the bacteria levels in the cup with that of the sample that fell on the snow. And I deduced that Mr Hargrove succumbed to his heart attack somewhere between 1:45 and 2 am. My guess would be 1:48-ish.
Drake   I ask for an autopsy, he gives me eggnog.
Fugimora   Yep? Okay. Dr Drake? The delegation from the mayor’s office is here.
Drake   Damn! They’re early. We’re done
Jarod   Career anxiety?
Detective Guerra   Oh, you haven’t met the mayor.
Fugimora   But, hey, he gives killer Christmas presents, and I mean… killer.
Detective Guerra   No, not again.
Jarod   Is this for me?
Fugimora   Geez, Jarod, don’t tell me you never got a Christmas present before.
Jarod   Not in a very long time. Thank you. A pastry with candied cherries?
Detective Guerra   It’s fruitcake.
Jarod   A cake with fruit baked right in. Thank you, this has to be delicious.
PA   Records department, please call the third floor.
Detective Guerra   Should we tell him?
Fugimora   Let him discover it.
Detective Guerra   Yeah.
Jarod   Mnnn.
Sydney   Jarod has been moved to his room, as always, I begin my Christmas hiatus tomorrow. I’ll be in Mount Pleasant at the usual number.
Sydney   It is the Christmas season, but the Tower deems it best to insulate Jarod from the trappings of popular culture. Jarod, I’ll be gone for the week and I wanted to say goodbye.
Young Jarod   Why do you go away every year when it turns cold outside?
Sydney   Business Jarod, that’s all. If you can keep a secret, I brought you a little something. A gift.
Young Jarod   A gift? This is snow.
Sydney   Yes, remember, tell no one I gave this to you.
Young Jarod   Take me outside Sydney, to see the real snow.
Sydney   I can’t Jarod.
Young Jarod   But I want to see if for myself.
Sydney   Enjoy this snow. And I will see you again soon. Okay?
Kid   I got you!
Kid 1   Aahh!
Kid   Let’s get out of here.
Fugimora   Two kids found her buried in the snow a couple hours ago.
Jarod   Now, that’s criminal.
Drake   Vagrant. After you thaw her out, check for needle marks. My prelim is overdose.
Jarod   I wonder who she is.
Drake   We’ll never know. LGL, bag her and tag her. And next time, please, don’t make me wait.
Jarod   LGL?
Detective Guerra   Little girl lost. No witness, no ID.
Jarod   Her family must be worried sick, wondering where she is.
Detective Guerra   That’s the tragic part. She’s probably a runaway. We get them all the time. Nothin’ to go on, so she becomes a case number. Like all the rest.
Fugimora   Are you okay?
Jarod   No.
Sydney   Fascinating hmmm? Only one twin is wired, but they both feel the shock.
Miss Parker   I don’t even wanna know. Cleanup crew just came in from Cleveland.
Sydney   Any luck?
Miss Parker   Jarod’s last life in a box. You’re the shrink, maybe you can figure out their meaning.
Sydney   Jarod’s trying to tell me something.
Miss Parker   Makes a great greeting card, but face facts Syd. At this rate, you boy won’t be home for the holidays.
Sydney   Maybe not, but he’ll contact me, he has to.
Miss Parker   Well, it’s Christmas.
Sydney   I worry about him. Out there this time of the year.
Miss Parker   Relax. He’s probably holed up in Whoville experiencing the Grinch for the first time.
Jarod   Would you like some? It’s called fruitcake.
Harry   Fruitcake? I’m not that homeless. What, are you writing a book?
Jarod   Um, no, not… not exactly. You miss him, don’t you?
Harry   Who?
Jarod   George, Christmas George.
Harry   You knew George?
Jarod   I feel like I did.
Harry   George was all the family I had. Well, he was all the family a lot of people had.
Jarod   The children at the shelter miss him.
Harry   Yeah, foster kids, runaways, they knew the real George. Oh, everybody thought he was a bum because he didn’t have a home, and panhandled to get by. But he took all that money, and one day a year he made sure they had presents and a special meal. Every Christmas Eve, he’d dress as Santa and read to those kids all night long.
Jarod   That’s why they called him Christmas George.
Harry   Yeah. When George was alive they all had family, for at least one day. Christmas doesn’t count for squat without family son.
Jarod   No. I’m beginning to realise that.
Nun   Oh, there you are Jarod. I just wanted to thank you for all the work you’ve done this season. Without Christmas George, it hasn’t been the same.
Jarod   Oh, I’m happy to help.
Nun   For a happy man, you look perplexed.
Jarod   Well, the truth is, I am. Have you read this?
Nun   The Night Before Christmas? It’s a classic.
Jarod   It’s very good, but I’m a little confused about something. Now, if Santa Claus were to deliver a present to every child on Earth, he’d have to visit 830 homes a second. Which would mean his reindeer would have to travel about 700 miles per second and he’d have 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, to crawl down the chimney, to pass out the presents and to eat cookies and milk. And for a middle-aged, overweight man, that’s quite a feat.
Nun   Santa works in mysterious ways.
Jarod   But it’s so fantastical, why would anybody believe it?
Nun   It’s Christmas Jarod, anything’s possible.
Jarod   Oh. Angel, they’re getting ready to string some popcorn. Don’t you want to help? Don’t you want to talk to Santa?
Angel   He’s not Santa.
Jarod   Is something wrong?
Angel   Is Christmas George coming back?
Jarod   No, no he isn’t.
Angel   Why not?
Jarod   Christmas George died. Do you know what that means?
Angel   We won’t ever see him again.
Jarod   Well, that’s true, and then again, it isn’t. Could I ask you something? Why did you like Christmas George?
Angel   Well, he was nice. And he made sure the kids always had something under the tree on Christmas.
Jarod   So, what you’re saying is that he had a spirit, a feeling, that made you feel good. Well, as long as you have that feeling, Christmas George is gonna be right here.
Angel   So every time it’s Christmas, I can think about George and he’ll be here?
Jarod   Every time.
Angel   Can I help?
Boy   Sure, come on.
Fugimora   Geez, Jarod, you run 137 tests. Any luck on the LGL?
Jarod   That’s not her name.
Fugimora   I didn’t mean anything.
Jarod   She should have a real name. Her family should know. Especially at this time of the year.
Fugimora   You’re not gonna give up are you?
Radio   And we’ve got more Christmas hits coming your way, so snuggle up by the fire with that special someone and enjoy the holiday season.
Miss Parker   What?
Mr Parker   It’s me. I’m having a holiday gathering at the club. It wouldn’t be the same without my favourite girl.
Miss Parker   I’ll be there.
Mr Parker   Very well, Christmas Eve at 7. European associates will attend. Be prompt.
Miss Parker   Of course Daddy. Merry Christ….
Jarod   Gunshot wound to the gill?
Fugimora   Not a patient. Lunch.
Jarod   Aren’t you a little young for poison fish?
Fugimora   Puffer fish is only poison before it’s prepared.
Jarod   Kim, fugu toxin is 500 times stronger than cyanide.
Fugimora   Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when it’s done right, all you get are tingly toes and a great buzz. Christmas dinner around her, my fugu’s a tradition. They boys in the morgue love it. And it goes great with cranberries.
Jarod   I’ll stick with fruitcake.
Fugimora   And relax, my uncle was a master fugu chef in Tokyo.
Jarod   Was?
Fugimora   He’s retired.
Jarod   Oh good, well I’m glad to hear that. Uh, would you help me with this?
Fugimora   Man, did you spill a whole mug?
Jarod   Well, actually, I spilled a whole pot.
Fugimora   I’ll get you a duplicate.
Jarod   Oh, no, no, no. That’s okay. Just show me where the old files are.
Woman   It should take a few seconds to start working. Yes, I’ve already dispatched the ambulance.
Man   Ma’am, ma’am, no. An overflowing toilet is not a 911 call. Ma’am would you please hang up and call a plumber.
Woman 2   Okay, you need to… induce vomiting. Yes, uh, no, your finger will be fine.
Jarod   Yes.
Hodges   It’s not working, it’s not working.
Jarod   Your son is going to be fine Mr Hodges, if you just listen carefully.
Hodges   Okay.
Jarod   Now, remember, clear the airway and tilt his head back.
Hodges   Right, tilt his head back.
Jarod   Now, back to the breathing.
Hodges   Okay. Okay.
Jarod   Now, continue the up and down motion on his chest.
Hodges   Okay, five count?
Jarod   Yes.
Hodges   Oh my God! He’s breathing! My son is breathing!
Jarod   That’s fantastic Mr Hodges.
Hodges   They’re here! The ambulance just got here.
Jarod   You see? That wasn’t so difficult. Merry Christmas.
Hodges   Thank you so much, thank you.
911 Operator   911 Operator.
Harry   Hello, my name’s Harry. I’m calling from the corner of Lawson and Hill. My friend… Oh, God, my friend George is….
911 Operator   Tell me what the problem is sir.
Harry   They ran George down. You gotta get somebody down here. Lawson and Hill. Right in front of the children’s shelter. Hurry, you gotta hurry.
911 Operator   I’m calling it in sir. Is anyone else hurt?
Harry   No, they just hit him and they left. I didn’t see no car.
Jarod   This is where it happened?
Harry   Where I found him. They just left George there to die.
Jarod   They?
Harry   I don’t know, crash woke me up. I didn’t see it.
Jarod   I’m sorry.
Harry   I never left his side. Never, not until the coroner showed up.
Jarod   The coroner? Not the police?
Harry   Better directions I guess. You know, he held my hand and, and we got to say goodbye.
Jarod   You mean he didn’t die instantly?
Harry   Ah, hell no! He was a fighter. Coroner tried to save him. Gave George a shot and everything but… didn’t help. I never knew coroners carried doctor bags.
Jarod   Neither did I.
Harry   She did what she could, I guess, but by the time the cops got here, she told them George had passed.
Jarod   She? Was she alone?
Harry   Yep.
Jarod   And she had red hair.
Harry   Uh, yeah. How’d you know?
PA   Any available assistance to the IV Unit.
Drake   Why haven’t you shipped the LGL? We need slab space for the holidays.
Jarod   I found some stress fractures in her legs.
Drake   Forget about it. We’ve done our due diligence. Finish up the paperwork and send her along.
Jarod   I understand.
Drake   By the way, new guy works Christmas Eve. Don’t worry about it. Last year was so slow we broke out a bottle of Christmas cheer. Too bad I wont be here to share a toast.
Jarod   Well, you never know Doctor. Christmas has its way of bringing people together.
Jarod   Our Jane Doe’s real name is Gabrielle. Gabrielle Ryan. She’s from Nashton. She would have been 18 next month.
Detective Guerra   How did you do this?
Jarod   Lower fractures to the medial malleoli.
Detective Guerra   Media who?
Jarod   Bad ankles. From compression impacts. That, and she had callous patterns on her hands like this. Parallel bars were her specialty. Will you tell her family right away?
Detective Guerra   Count on it. Hey, good work Jarod. See you around.
Miss Parker   Face it, Sydney. It’s almost Christmas. He’s not going to call. I see you’re clearing out for your usual holiday hiatus so here.
Sydney   A Christmas present? From you?
Miss Parker   Don’t go hanging mistletoe. See you after the first.
Sydney   And a merry Christmas to you too, Miss Parker.
Jarod   Kim.
Fugimora   Hey.
Jarod   Hi, I was going over last year’s duty roster and I see that you were working on Christmas Eve.
Fugimora   I was the rookie last year. That means this year, you get to wait up for Santa.
Jarod   I don’t mind working the holiday. The truth is, I’ve never really had Christmas Eve off. I wanted to ask you about the autopsies that were performed that night.
Fugimora   Shoot.
Jarod   According to the files, there were only two. A homeless hit and run victim named Christmas George and an 80 year old woman named Edwina Morris. Do you remember them?
Fugimora   I remember the Morris woman. Dead ringer for Grandma Walton, only fat. But I wasn’t really involved in the hit and run.
Jarod   I thought you were the only one on duty that night.
Fugimora   I was until Drake came in with the hit and run. She did that autopsy.
Jarod   The chief coroner came in on Christmas Eve to perform a homeless man?
Fugimora   With karma like hers, she probably not that popular on the party circuit if you know what I’m sayin’.
Jarod   The other body, Edwina Morris. Was she a pysch patient?
Fugimora   No. Just a very large grandmother of six who died of natural causes. Why?
Jarod   According to the toxicology report there were traces of phenotripticol in her blood.
Fugimora   Phenotripticol?
Jarod   Yes.
Fugimora   Isn’t that used to subdue patients during psychotic episodes?
Jarod   And in stronger doses, it induces a state of paralysis where the patient is conscious, but rendered immobile. Dead, but not dead.
Fugimora   Oh, my God. Please don’t tell me that I performed and autopsy on someone who was alive and conscious!
Jarod   No, no. You didn’t.
Fugimora   Well, this couldn’t have happened. Someone must have messed up the toxicology reports.
Jarod   Or switched them, on purpose.
Young Jarod   You’re Miss Parker aren’t you?
Young Miss Parker   I didn’t know anyone was here. Please don’t tell anyone I was here.
Young Jarod   No, wait. Why did you come.
Young Miss Parker   My mom let’s me see the rabbits when on one’s here. I want one, but my father wont let me have pets at home.
Young Jarod   We’ve been studying them. There are three sets of twins. Now watch. They’ve never been together before. But somehow, the ones that are genetically identical just seem to find each other. Like something inside them draws them together, see? They’re soft.
Homeless Man   Excuse me, can you sp….
Drake   Not my neighbourhood. Oh my God. Didn’t you see me? Jarod!
Jarod   I’m okay, I’m okay. It was just a, a little scratch.
Drake   Are you okay?
Jarod   I’m fine. Come on.
Drake   I, I can help you out with that.
Jarod   You certainly come prepared.
Drake   Our patients may be dead, but we’re still doctors, right?
Jarod   I suppose.
Drake   I always keep it on hand. You never know when somebody might need one of us.
Jarod   You never know.
Sydney   Why, Jarod, I thought they’d taken you back to your room.
Young Jarod   What are those Sydney?
Sydney   They’re another project I’m working on.
Secretary   Your car is ready to take you to the Mount Pleasant home.
Sydney   Yes, thank you. Tell them to wait.
Young Jarod   You will come back, wont you Sydney?
Sydney   I always come back, Jarod. Don’t I?
Secretary   Your car is ready to take you to the Mount Pleasant home.
Sydney   Yes, thank you.
Secretary   ….. take you to the Mount Pleasant home.
Secretary   Your car is ready to take you to the Mount Pleasant Home.
Sydney   I’ll be right there.
Jarod   Last Minute Gifts? I need a last minute gift.
Jarod   Dr Fugimora? Well, I hate the be the bearer of bad tidings, but you’re going to need to come to work today. Something terrible has happened. I’ll explain everything when you get in there.
Jarod   Don’t you love Christmas? It’s so Christmassy.
Drake   Jarod, I thought you were working today.
Jarod   I am. But I wanted to give you a little something.
Drake   For me?
Jarod   Mn-hmmm. Open it.
Drake   Fruitcake. This actually smells good.
Jarod   I was so impressed with the mayor’s gift, I tried baking one myself and I want you to be the first to taste it.
Drake   Mnnn?
Jarod   Oh, no thank you.
Drake   Mnnn. Mnnn! It’s actually good. So, um, are you gonna see your family for the holidays?
Jarod   I don’t think that’s going to be possible this year. Are you okay?
Drake   I…. feel a little… My God!
Jarod   Dr Drake? Let me help you.
Drake   My stomach, my God! What was in that cake?
Jarod   I went to great pains making that cake. It couldn’t have possibly been the…..
Drake   What?
Jarod   Uh-oh.
Drake   What?
Jarod   Well, Fugimora has been teaching me how to prepare puffer fish. And I was practicing when I was making the fruitcake. And some of it might have accidentally slipped into the batter.
Drake   Puffer fish?
Jarod   I’m afraid so.
Drake   You idiot! You poisoned me!
Jarod   I’m sorry.
Drake   Call 911.
Jarod   Okay. Uh, I can’t.
Drake   Jarod, what are you doing?
Jarod   I can’t call 911.
Drake   Are you crazy?
Jarod   No, but I am thorough. If I call 911, they’d be able to help you. But they could hurt me.
Drake   What?
Jarod   They would come out, the would see that you were sick and they would realise that I accidentally poisoned you. And that could cost me my career.
Drake   You can’t do this. You can’t do
911 Operator   Tell me what the problem is sir.
Harry   They ran George down. You gotta get somebody down her. Lawson and Hill. Right in front of the children’s shelter. Hurry. You gotta hurry.
911 Operator   I’m calling it in sir, is anyone else hurt?
Harry   No, they just hit him and left.
Jarod   You’re a coroner. Your business is dead people. Even when you’re the one who kills them. Right, Doctor? Did you have a little too much to drink at last year’s Christmas party? Can you imagine how Christmas George must have felt when you hit him with your car and left him in the snow? He went into the alley to recover and you heard over your police scanner that he was still alive. You couldn’t have that could you? That could hurt your precious career. So you went back to the scene before the police got there. Now, you didn’t have anything in your bag that would actually kill him, but you did have something that would paralyse him. He was conscious of everything that was happening to him but he looked dead to the police. He was just a homeless man. You figured no one would miss him right? But like you always say, bag ’em and tag ’em.
Drake   No, don’t do that. I’m not really dead.
Jarod   Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’m not really a coroner. But everybody thinks I am. So I’m just going to declare you dead. And they can finish you off on the slab. Just like you finished off George. Merry Christmas.
Fugimora   Wow, I never got to work on a boss before. We’ll start cutting after lunch. Who wants puffer fish?
Jarod   The effects of the phenotripticol should wear off in a few hours. She’s gonna wake up with a wicked case of diarrhea from the fruitcake.
Fugimora   Merry Christmas Jarod.
Jarod   Merry Christmas.
Harry   Merry Christmas. He said to give you this.
Detective Guerra   He who?
Timothy Ryan   Excuse me, Dr Marley?
Jarod   Yes?
Timothy Ryan   I’m, Timothy, Timothy Ryan.
Jarod   Gabrielle’s brother.
Timothy Ryan   I just wanted to say, well, this detective said you identified her. Went the extra mile he said.
Jarod   I’m sorry that it took so long. And I’m sorry that you had to find out at this time.
Timothy Ryan   I’m not. Imagine wondering a lifetime if someone you love is out there or not. Thank you for saving my family that hell. Thank you.
Miss Parker   Hello. Daddy, hello. I was just getting ready. I understand. No. We’ll do it next year. Merry Christmas.
Nurse   He’s ready now. You know, I admire you, Sydney. For 30 years, he just lies there and yet you’ve never missed a Christmas.
Sydney   It’s all I can do. He’s the only family I have.
Nurse   What about your son?
Sydney   My son?
Nurse   Yes, Jarod.
Sydney   Jarod was here?
Nurse   He stayed just long enough to leave the gift. I don’t know what he said to him but when he placed that in his hand, I swear I thought I saw your brother smile.
Jarod   Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugarplums danced in their heads. And Mama in her kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled down for a long winter’s nap. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. When what to my wondering eye should appear but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer. With a little old driver, so lively and quick. I knew in a moment it must be St Nick. And he whistled and shouted and called them by name. Now, Dasher. Now Dancer. Now Prancer and Vixen. On Comet, on Cupid. On Donner and Blitzen. He sprang to his sleigh to his team gave a whistle and away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night.
Jarod   Did you hear that?
Angel   What?
Jarod   From the other room. Could it be……
Children   Santa!
Angel   Let’s go in the other room. Under the tree!
Angel   A present for me?
Nun   I wonder who it’s from? Let’s see what you got. What’s it say?
Angel   Friends make Christmas special. To Angel from Christmas George.

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