I've been a fan of this show since day one, but only by the end of the third season did I come across the world of fanfiction. After reading some very good fics (and a few bad ones as well), I figured I might not be the best, but I would try my best to write as much interesting and entertaining stories as I could.
I wrote a few short stories and started four big projects (two anthologies, one novel and four-part feature scripts). The last time I've updated any of those projects was... eight years ago? I think. So it's about time I finish some of the projects that are still pending. Starting with 'The Alphabet Series' and 'Who Forgot to Pay the Rent?'. Everything is being rewritten, though some stories will only have minor changes, and will begin being posted perhaps this weak.
The idea of getting back to write for this fandom has always been on mind, but trying to make a living writing original stuff other than fanfiction is time-consuming. I don't know where this impulse came from - and no, it has nothing to do with the return of the show (excellent news!), which I only found out about yesterday, since I've been working on these stories for the past two months - but I'm looking forward to see where it will take me.
gomes_joel [AT] hotmail [DOT] com
PretenderThe chase is over, but at what cost?
First of all, I'm not really into J/MP romance. That being I said, I want you to know that I am reading your story and will continue to read it until you finish. I won't give you an opinion right now, because I prefer to comment it as a whole. I can give you some advice if you don't mind:
1 - Revising: your writing seems to get better at each new chapter, which makes me think you're publishing as soon as you write. While I can relate to the urge, having the text rest for some time is often a good thing. Especially for catching rookie mistakes. I don't know if this is the case, but if it is...
2 - The plot: I know that J/MP stories sometimes lack that aspect. Technically, their relationship is your plot, but you may need something stronger than that. You have plenty of inner conflict, which is good, but you need an outside force as well. With The Centre and The Triumvirate gone you'll have to come up with a new threat.
3 - The endgame: When you first started to write this story, did you see how it ended? Did you have any glimpses? Every time I write a story, fanfiction or otherwise, I always (try to) see the end, or, at the very least, a possible end. Whether the end I write is the end I previously imagined or not isn't the issue here. The issue is: do you know where you're going?
If you do, carry on. I'll let you know later how the trip felt.
Hi Joel, thanks so much for taking the time to read and especially review. I realize how much time it can take and for that I appreciate it. I did have a beta but generally just for flow and some techinical critiques. I have always wanted and needed the opinion of a professional and I'm glad that you took the bullet for the other folks that aren't into MP/J romance.
In response to your advice, and I appreciate every comment you have made:
1. I actually don't post as I write. I let it stew for awhile, however, the entire fic had been sitting for months and was only completed in the past couple of weeks, and of course with the announcement of "Rebirth" got over eager and posted as soon as my beta said "GO." I appreciated objective constructive criticism and you are the first to have done so. Thanks.
2. You are correct, the relationship is the plot and I really didn't think much about external conflict. I wanted it to be a simple story without much angst but certainly drama.
3. The endgame as you probably guessed was MP/J together. Of course that was/is the only thing I glimpsed and basically worked towards getting them there. This is my second fic overall for the Pretender and wasn't quite sure what kind of writer I wanted to become. So I started with what was familiar to me which is romance/drama. I figured that I would get a few fics under my belt and got comfortable with a writing style before I went further into a plot filled fic.
Again, I appreciate the objective technical review of my fic so far and certainly appreciate the time it took you to write your professional opinion.
Thanks Joel!
Reviewer: Joel Gomes SignedEverything you ever wanted to know about Jarod's allergy to pistachios. When he found out and how. And why Miss Parker is aware of it.
At this very moment I'm halfway through rewatching the first season of The Pretender (I started yesterday), so it will be a short while before I get to "Risquee Business". And yet, I feel as if I've watched that episode (or part of it) right now. The flashback was very well inserted and written (I would make some minor changes, especially on Sydney, but that's only a matter of opinion, not fact) and the final segment gave a nice finishing touch. It almost read like an excerpt from a novelization.
Thanks for your nice and intelligent review, Joel. I'm glad you enjoyed the final touch, that is the part I care for the most ;)
Reviewer: Joel Gomes Signed
A crime scene, a chance meeting, two people transcending the lives chosen for them. Jarod POV. S.M.U.T.
Shipping aside (and some typos) I very much liked your prose. Not a fan of sex as the main subject in the story, although I admit it was written in a very efective manner. If you know what I mean.
Thanks for reading and reviewing, Joel. I'm no shipper either, however, the muse gets what she wants. You should probably refrain from clicking on stories that clearly warn SMUT and sexual content (with Parker and Jarod listed as characters) if you aren't a fan of shipping or sex as the main subject. Effective? Nope. I have no idea what you're referring to, Joel. *innocent smile*
Reviewer: Joel Gomes Signed
In 1996 a television series known as The Pretender splashed onto the scene as NBC’s highest testing series concept since Bonanza. For some 12 years since its premature cancellation, legions of worldwide fans have patiently awaited for its return.
Now, in the form of a fully original, mystery thriller novel, The Pretender - Rebirth marks the exciting return of Jarod, Miss Parker, Sydney and the nefarious, clandestine activities of The Centre.
In 1996 a television series known as The Pretender splashed onto the scene as NBC’s highest testing series concept since Bonanza. For some 12 years since its premature cancellation, legions of worldwide fans have patiently awaited for its return.
Now, in the form of a fully original, mystery thriller novel, The Pretender - Rebirth marks the exciting return of Jarod, Miss Parker, Sydney and the nefarious, clandestine activities of The Centre.
Steve, Craig, I really hope this is the worst you can do, because your "worst" is actually quite amazing. Now show me your best.
Reviewer: Joel Gomes Signed
A little bed time story for the twins
Nicely written. I haven't read all the other stories, but I think this one was worthy of the award it received.
Thank you very much for you review. This Xmas Challenge was very interesting. Now we have plenty of lovely and funny new stories to read during the holidays, including yours. Merry Christmas !
Reviewer: Joel Gomes Signed