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Chapter or Story 
Chapter or Story
Disclaimer see part 1!
Title: Sinner, you know you have to pretend!
By: Chris
e-mail address : kylaparker@hotmail.com
Rated: PG
Category: S / P
Spoilers: None
3.
Sinner, you know you're bound to die
Sinner, you know you're bound to die.
My Lord, He sees you all night and day.
Sees all you're doing and He hears all you say.
The darkness was gone. The empty room was gone. An open countryside. Green trees. Sunshine. A swing. A woman in a lilac top. A man with a white shirt. Laughter. Happiness. Kisses.
A picture in a frame. Smiling faces. The same surroundings as before. Grief. Tears. Death. Hatred. Fear. Loneliness.
She wanted to get rid of all the pictures in her head. Wanted to open her eyes, move her feet and run. Run away from the pictures. Run away from her haunting memories. Run. Run. Faster. Faster. Ever faster. But something held her. Held her captive inside her own mind. Like a prisoner inside her own head. Strapped against an invisible wall with chains of memories.
Angelo was lying on the floor, wanted to get rid of all the pictures in his head. Wanted to open his eyes, move his feet and run. Run away from the pictures. Run away from Parker's haunting memories. Run. Run. Faster. Faster. Ever faster. But something held him. Held him captive. Like a prisoner inside someone else's head. Tied with chains of memories. Parker's memories. They held him, somehow fascinated him, somehow frightened him. They were so different. Different from the person he thought to know. So different from the Miss Parker he cared for. Inside her head was chaos. So much unlike her.
Let me go! Leave me! I love you! Thomas, where are you? Daddy? Mom! NOOOO! Let me go! Don't let go of my hand. Hold me tight! Go away! Why? Jarod? Angel, don't leave me! Why don't you leave me alone? Make those voices go away! I want to be alone! ALONE!! DO YOU HEAR ME? ALONE!
Parker was lying on the bed, Sydney standing beside her. She looked as if she were dead. She wasn't breathing on her own, her heartbeat was slow and irregular. Sydney feared for her life. They had told him to leave, he wasn't able to help her anyway. Leave her alone, she needs rest. Come back tomorrow. He took her hand. It was cold and lifeless.
"Fight, Parker. Don't let go. Don't leave us.”
He left the room and walked through the corridors of the hospital. This hospital held so many memories for him. Sad memories, happy memories. He left the building and walked to his car. He looked up at the sky. Clouds were building at the horizon and distant thunder began to roll.
The Centre was an impressive building. So much power. So much pain caused inside. Angelo. What would he be doing right now? Sydney parked his car and went inside. Maybe Parker's office would hold some clues as to what had happened. He hesitated but then opened the door and stepped inside. A low moan came from under the table.
"Angelo? Oh my God, what are you doing?”
"Daughter, sad - hurt- needs help,” Angelo managed to say.
"She'll be alright,” Sydney said, "I've brought her to hospital, they're taking care of her.”
The phone rang. A shrill and loud sound in the middle of the silence. Sydney didn't want to answer the call but Angelo took the receiver and held it towards Sydney. He sighed.
"This is Sydney?”
"Sydney? Where's Miss Parker?”
"Jarod? She's – she's ill.”
"Ill? What happened?”
"I have no idea. She fell unconscious and her condition is getting worse. I don't know what to do.”
"Where is she?”
"Hospital. Can you help her?”
"I don't know yet. Sydney, you have to find out what happened. What did she last do? Who was the last one she has been talking to, and so on. I'll call ya later.”
"Jarod – I –,” Sydney started but it was too late, Jarod had already hung up. He turned towards Angelo who was now sitting in Parker's chair. He looked a little pale and was holding Parker's pen in his hands.
"Writing letter.”
"Angelo, not now. Come on, let's go.”
"Daughter caught - can't come back – needs help – need to see her.”
4.
It's been nine months
Since you took
My heart away.
I am lost without you
And still hope for the moment
When you kiss me for the first time.
I love you, DON'T YOU SEE?
I need you, DON'T YOU CARE?
I want you, WHY DON'T YOU?
Dr. Jarod Blake looked down at the young woman lying in the bed. Somehow he thought he knew her but he also knew that he had never seen her before. He still hadn't figured out what had happened back in the ambulance. Somehow he felt as if he knew every thought of the girl, just as she had revealed all her thoughts to him. Then he had to think of Miss Parker. She had fallen unconscious as well and nobody knew what had happened. What if those two cases were somehow related? That both women were suffering from the same illness? Could such things be possible?
He took a seat and took the girl's hand. And suddenly this feeling grew stronger, the same as back when he had seen the picture. He felt reminded of Star Trek and the Vulcan ability to mind meld. Was it a feeling like this when two minds melded? Was it possible? He didn't believe it, but he didn't resist. It felt like a small hand was stretching out, trying to grab him. In his mind he tried to envision another, stronger hand and stretched it out. The small hand rested in the larger hand and suddenly the world seemed to disappear.
He was in another world. Everything was dark and gray and he felt cold. In the distance he saw the little girl again he had seen earlier this day. She was standing in a crowd but she was alone. People seemed to be minding her presence. Jarod approached her. He could see himself as a young boy, walking towards the young girl.
"Hello,” he simply said and stood beside her. She looked at him with big blue eyes.
"What's your name?” she asked.
"My name's Jarod, and yours?”
"Jane. Why are you here? Why can't you leave me alone?”
"I want to help you.”
"I don't need no help,” she said and turned away. She tried to disappear into the crowd, but people stepped back as she approached and Jarod could follow her easily. He grabbed her by the elbow and forced her to stop. Slowly she turned around and looked at him. He looked into her eyes and felt as if he were looking into an endless tunnel. He couldn't even see his own reflection.
"Come with me. Let's get out of the crowd.”
"What crowd?”
"The people all around.”
"They belong here. We can't get out of here.”
Jarod took her hand and hoped that everything would be working the way he wanted it to. He tried to imagine a wonderful place, a place to where he had fled in his childhood dreams, a place with warm light, wonderful trees and birds. A place where they would be alone, no looming shadows, no crowd and no cold. He felt as if he forced his thoughts into hers but somehow it seemed to work. Slowly the surroundings seemed to change, he tried to think of details like flowers and the color of the sky. The girl still by his side, they stood on a large field, surrounded by yellow flowers. He was a little proud of himself and didn't see the girl retreat from him. She was several steps behind him and looked at him with a look that strangely reminded him of Miss Parker when he turned.
"I don't want to be cheered up. Let me go.”
"I'm not forcing you to stay.”
"So make these surroundings go away and leave me alone.”
Somehow she seemed to disappear back into her own thoughts and Jarod was left alone. He tried to reach out again, tried to find her surroundings but except his field of flowers he couldn't find anything. It was as if she was just – gone. He wanted to go back to his own reality but somehow he had no idea how. He wished the field to go a way, wished for his eyes to see the room again, but suddenly there was only emptiness. Empty, lonely, cold, alone – nothing.
Jane was running. Running from an invisible enemy. Running towards the abyss that promised eternal freedom. The abyss from where she would never come back again. The abyss where she wanted to be. Nobody would try to tear her out from her environment, nobody would be hunting her. There would be eternal darkness, eternal freedom, eternal loneliness. She would never have to speak again, never have to listen again, nobody would ever hurt her again. She would be all on her own free to do whatever she wished to do. She was running, still running from the invisible enemy that threatened to bring her back to the reality she hated, that she had promised never to see again.
Something made her slow down in her running. Somewhere, far away she heard someone call for help. She didn't want to hear it, didn't want to know who was calling. But then she heard her own name. She stopped and turned. Back behind her was a bubble, a large black bubble with something inside. She had never seen this bubble in her world before and she was afraid that it could be something that this Jarod had left behind to drag her out of her world. But still there was something inside. This something inside was calling her name. She had no idea what she should do. She was afraid the bubble would hurt her if she went nearer but the something inside kept calling her name. Her hand hesitantly reached out and touched the bubble. It felt cold and wet and somehow smelled of fear. The bubble seemed to melt under her touch and she could reach inside. Something grabbed her hand and she instinctively pulled her hand back. The bubble disappeared and a boy fell to the ground. He looked up at her and smiled.
"Go away. You have tried to steal my freedom.”
"I will go, but tell me how to get out of here.”
"Clap your heels twice and you'll be back in Arkansas.”
"Arkansas? But-"
"Imagine a way you would do it. It worked for me. Maybe snap your fingers, wave a magic stick or something like that. You have to find your own way. But never dare to call my name again. I won't help you again. I want to be alone.”
"But why? Why do you want to be alone?”
"Nobody needs me, nobody loves me, so why should I go back?”
"Don't YOU love somebody?”
She said nothing, just looked into his large brown eyes. Suddenly she fell to her knees and started crying. Jarod put his hand on her shoulder and tried to comfort her. She tried to shake off his hand but it stayed there. It was an unfamiliar feeling that someone cared about her.
"Tell me about it,” Jarod asked.
"You don't want to hear it.”
"Yes, I do. Please tell me. So, you love someone?”
"I love him but he rejected me. He doesn't love me and it hurts.”
"So you try to flee into this world of your own. Don't you ever want to come back?”
"NEVER!”
"Why not? If you would come back you could try to explain it to him once more.”
"Explain what?”
"That you love him.”
"I never told him. He's got a girlfriend. I wouldn't dare to kill his relationship.”
"I don't understand it. You've never told him you loved him and he rejected you?”
"You're only a boy. You don't understand it. NOW LEAVE!”
And suddenly he was back. He found himself lying on a bed, staring at the ceiling. People were standing around his bed looking down at him with concerned looks on their faces.
"How do you feel, Dr. Blake? I found you lying unconscious on the floor,” a nurse said.
"I'm alright,” Jarod answered, "How's the girl?”
"She'll be fine. What happened back there?”
"I don't know exactly.”
"Then tell me, in rough terms.”
"I can't explain it to you."
"You don't want to get up right now, do you? I suggest you stay here a little while longer and rest.” a nurse said when Jarod sat up.
"No, I can't. There's someone waiting for me downstairs.”
Jarod got up and walked towards the door on wobbly legs. He leaned at the doorframe for a few seconds and then walked down the corridors. When he arrived down at the entrance Ms Ryan was waiting for him. She jumped up from the chair she had been sitting in and ran towards him.
"How is she?”
"She's alright. Mind to sit down again?”
"What's the matter with you? You look terrible.”
"Oh, thanks for the compliment.”
"Sorry. What's the matter with her?”
"I can only guess. I can't say why but she has attempted suicide.”
"WHAT? No, she would never do that.”
"I'm afraid she did. She has taken a lot of pills that would have killed someone who is not as strong as she is. She has been doing a lot of exercise, I guess, and she has a good working immune system.”
"What kind of pills? Sleeping pills?”
"No. She obviously suffers from epilepsy and has taken a high dosage of suppressants. Maybe thirty to forty of those pills. A dosage this high could have killed someone who is not used to this kind of medication.”
Ms Ryan sat on her chair, not knowing what to say. Jarod stood up and asked her to follow him. They went up the stairs, Ms Ryan deep in her thoughts, Jarod trying to stand upright. They entered the room and Ms Ryan stopped in her steps.
"Somehow I have a guilty conscience. I feel as if I were responsible for this whole mess.”
"It seemed to me that she liked you.” Jarod said.
"How do you know?”
"That's something I can't explain. But I've found out about another woman who is suffering from the same thing. Maybe I can come up with a way to treat both of them.”
t.b.c.
Title: Sinner, you know you have to pretend!
By: Chris
e-mail address : kylaparker@hotmail.com
Rated: PG
Category: S / P
Spoilers: None
3.
Sinner, you know you're bound to die
Sinner, you know you're bound to die.
My Lord, He sees you all night and day.
Sees all you're doing and He hears all you say.
The darkness was gone. The empty room was gone. An open countryside. Green trees. Sunshine. A swing. A woman in a lilac top. A man with a white shirt. Laughter. Happiness. Kisses.
A picture in a frame. Smiling faces. The same surroundings as before. Grief. Tears. Death. Hatred. Fear. Loneliness.
She wanted to get rid of all the pictures in her head. Wanted to open her eyes, move her feet and run. Run away from the pictures. Run away from her haunting memories. Run. Run. Faster. Faster. Ever faster. But something held her. Held her captive inside her own mind. Like a prisoner inside her own head. Strapped against an invisible wall with chains of memories.
Angelo was lying on the floor, wanted to get rid of all the pictures in his head. Wanted to open his eyes, move his feet and run. Run away from the pictures. Run away from Parker's haunting memories. Run. Run. Faster. Faster. Ever faster. But something held him. Held him captive. Like a prisoner inside someone else's head. Tied with chains of memories. Parker's memories. They held him, somehow fascinated him, somehow frightened him. They were so different. Different from the person he thought to know. So different from the Miss Parker he cared for. Inside her head was chaos. So much unlike her.
Let me go! Leave me! I love you! Thomas, where are you? Daddy? Mom! NOOOO! Let me go! Don't let go of my hand. Hold me tight! Go away! Why? Jarod? Angel, don't leave me! Why don't you leave me alone? Make those voices go away! I want to be alone! ALONE!! DO YOU HEAR ME? ALONE!
Parker was lying on the bed, Sydney standing beside her. She looked as if she were dead. She wasn't breathing on her own, her heartbeat was slow and irregular. Sydney feared for her life. They had told him to leave, he wasn't able to help her anyway. Leave her alone, she needs rest. Come back tomorrow. He took her hand. It was cold and lifeless.
"Fight, Parker. Don't let go. Don't leave us.”
He left the room and walked through the corridors of the hospital. This hospital held so many memories for him. Sad memories, happy memories. He left the building and walked to his car. He looked up at the sky. Clouds were building at the horizon and distant thunder began to roll.
The Centre was an impressive building. So much power. So much pain caused inside. Angelo. What would he be doing right now? Sydney parked his car and went inside. Maybe Parker's office would hold some clues as to what had happened. He hesitated but then opened the door and stepped inside. A low moan came from under the table.
"Angelo? Oh my God, what are you doing?”
"Daughter, sad - hurt- needs help,” Angelo managed to say.
"She'll be alright,” Sydney said, "I've brought her to hospital, they're taking care of her.”
The phone rang. A shrill and loud sound in the middle of the silence. Sydney didn't want to answer the call but Angelo took the receiver and held it towards Sydney. He sighed.
"This is Sydney?”
"Sydney? Where's Miss Parker?”
"Jarod? She's – she's ill.”
"Ill? What happened?”
"I have no idea. She fell unconscious and her condition is getting worse. I don't know what to do.”
"Where is she?”
"Hospital. Can you help her?”
"I don't know yet. Sydney, you have to find out what happened. What did she last do? Who was the last one she has been talking to, and so on. I'll call ya later.”
"Jarod – I –,” Sydney started but it was too late, Jarod had already hung up. He turned towards Angelo who was now sitting in Parker's chair. He looked a little pale and was holding Parker's pen in his hands.
"Writing letter.”
"Angelo, not now. Come on, let's go.”
"Daughter caught - can't come back – needs help – need to see her.”
4.
It's been nine months
Since you took
My heart away.
I am lost without you
And still hope for the moment
When you kiss me for the first time.
I love you, DON'T YOU SEE?
I need you, DON'T YOU CARE?
I want you, WHY DON'T YOU?
Dr. Jarod Blake looked down at the young woman lying in the bed. Somehow he thought he knew her but he also knew that he had never seen her before. He still hadn't figured out what had happened back in the ambulance. Somehow he felt as if he knew every thought of the girl, just as she had revealed all her thoughts to him. Then he had to think of Miss Parker. She had fallen unconscious as well and nobody knew what had happened. What if those two cases were somehow related? That both women were suffering from the same illness? Could such things be possible?
He took a seat and took the girl's hand. And suddenly this feeling grew stronger, the same as back when he had seen the picture. He felt reminded of Star Trek and the Vulcan ability to mind meld. Was it a feeling like this when two minds melded? Was it possible? He didn't believe it, but he didn't resist. It felt like a small hand was stretching out, trying to grab him. In his mind he tried to envision another, stronger hand and stretched it out. The small hand rested in the larger hand and suddenly the world seemed to disappear.
He was in another world. Everything was dark and gray and he felt cold. In the distance he saw the little girl again he had seen earlier this day. She was standing in a crowd but she was alone. People seemed to be minding her presence. Jarod approached her. He could see himself as a young boy, walking towards the young girl.
"Hello,” he simply said and stood beside her. She looked at him with big blue eyes.
"What's your name?” she asked.
"My name's Jarod, and yours?”
"Jane. Why are you here? Why can't you leave me alone?”
"I want to help you.”
"I don't need no help,” she said and turned away. She tried to disappear into the crowd, but people stepped back as she approached and Jarod could follow her easily. He grabbed her by the elbow and forced her to stop. Slowly she turned around and looked at him. He looked into her eyes and felt as if he were looking into an endless tunnel. He couldn't even see his own reflection.
"Come with me. Let's get out of the crowd.”
"What crowd?”
"The people all around.”
"They belong here. We can't get out of here.”
Jarod took her hand and hoped that everything would be working the way he wanted it to. He tried to imagine a wonderful place, a place to where he had fled in his childhood dreams, a place with warm light, wonderful trees and birds. A place where they would be alone, no looming shadows, no crowd and no cold. He felt as if he forced his thoughts into hers but somehow it seemed to work. Slowly the surroundings seemed to change, he tried to think of details like flowers and the color of the sky. The girl still by his side, they stood on a large field, surrounded by yellow flowers. He was a little proud of himself and didn't see the girl retreat from him. She was several steps behind him and looked at him with a look that strangely reminded him of Miss Parker when he turned.
"I don't want to be cheered up. Let me go.”
"I'm not forcing you to stay.”
"So make these surroundings go away and leave me alone.”
Somehow she seemed to disappear back into her own thoughts and Jarod was left alone. He tried to reach out again, tried to find her surroundings but except his field of flowers he couldn't find anything. It was as if she was just – gone. He wanted to go back to his own reality but somehow he had no idea how. He wished the field to go a way, wished for his eyes to see the room again, but suddenly there was only emptiness. Empty, lonely, cold, alone – nothing.
Jane was running. Running from an invisible enemy. Running towards the abyss that promised eternal freedom. The abyss from where she would never come back again. The abyss where she wanted to be. Nobody would try to tear her out from her environment, nobody would be hunting her. There would be eternal darkness, eternal freedom, eternal loneliness. She would never have to speak again, never have to listen again, nobody would ever hurt her again. She would be all on her own free to do whatever she wished to do. She was running, still running from the invisible enemy that threatened to bring her back to the reality she hated, that she had promised never to see again.
Something made her slow down in her running. Somewhere, far away she heard someone call for help. She didn't want to hear it, didn't want to know who was calling. But then she heard her own name. She stopped and turned. Back behind her was a bubble, a large black bubble with something inside. She had never seen this bubble in her world before and she was afraid that it could be something that this Jarod had left behind to drag her out of her world. But still there was something inside. This something inside was calling her name. She had no idea what she should do. She was afraid the bubble would hurt her if she went nearer but the something inside kept calling her name. Her hand hesitantly reached out and touched the bubble. It felt cold and wet and somehow smelled of fear. The bubble seemed to melt under her touch and she could reach inside. Something grabbed her hand and she instinctively pulled her hand back. The bubble disappeared and a boy fell to the ground. He looked up at her and smiled.
"Go away. You have tried to steal my freedom.”
"I will go, but tell me how to get out of here.”
"Clap your heels twice and you'll be back in Arkansas.”
"Arkansas? But-"
"Imagine a way you would do it. It worked for me. Maybe snap your fingers, wave a magic stick or something like that. You have to find your own way. But never dare to call my name again. I won't help you again. I want to be alone.”
"But why? Why do you want to be alone?”
"Nobody needs me, nobody loves me, so why should I go back?”
"Don't YOU love somebody?”
She said nothing, just looked into his large brown eyes. Suddenly she fell to her knees and started crying. Jarod put his hand on her shoulder and tried to comfort her. She tried to shake off his hand but it stayed there. It was an unfamiliar feeling that someone cared about her.
"Tell me about it,” Jarod asked.
"You don't want to hear it.”
"Yes, I do. Please tell me. So, you love someone?”
"I love him but he rejected me. He doesn't love me and it hurts.”
"So you try to flee into this world of your own. Don't you ever want to come back?”
"NEVER!”
"Why not? If you would come back you could try to explain it to him once more.”
"Explain what?”
"That you love him.”
"I never told him. He's got a girlfriend. I wouldn't dare to kill his relationship.”
"I don't understand it. You've never told him you loved him and he rejected you?”
"You're only a boy. You don't understand it. NOW LEAVE!”
And suddenly he was back. He found himself lying on a bed, staring at the ceiling. People were standing around his bed looking down at him with concerned looks on their faces.
"How do you feel, Dr. Blake? I found you lying unconscious on the floor,” a nurse said.
"I'm alright,” Jarod answered, "How's the girl?”
"She'll be fine. What happened back there?”
"I don't know exactly.”
"Then tell me, in rough terms.”
"I can't explain it to you."
"You don't want to get up right now, do you? I suggest you stay here a little while longer and rest.” a nurse said when Jarod sat up.
"No, I can't. There's someone waiting for me downstairs.”
Jarod got up and walked towards the door on wobbly legs. He leaned at the doorframe for a few seconds and then walked down the corridors. When he arrived down at the entrance Ms Ryan was waiting for him. She jumped up from the chair she had been sitting in and ran towards him.
"How is she?”
"She's alright. Mind to sit down again?”
"What's the matter with you? You look terrible.”
"Oh, thanks for the compliment.”
"Sorry. What's the matter with her?”
"I can only guess. I can't say why but she has attempted suicide.”
"WHAT? No, she would never do that.”
"I'm afraid she did. She has taken a lot of pills that would have killed someone who is not as strong as she is. She has been doing a lot of exercise, I guess, and she has a good working immune system.”
"What kind of pills? Sleeping pills?”
"No. She obviously suffers from epilepsy and has taken a high dosage of suppressants. Maybe thirty to forty of those pills. A dosage this high could have killed someone who is not used to this kind of medication.”
Ms Ryan sat on her chair, not knowing what to say. Jarod stood up and asked her to follow him. They went up the stairs, Ms Ryan deep in her thoughts, Jarod trying to stand upright. They entered the room and Ms Ryan stopped in her steps.
"Somehow I have a guilty conscience. I feel as if I were responsible for this whole mess.”
"It seemed to me that she liked you.” Jarod said.
"How do you know?”
"That's something I can't explain. But I've found out about another woman who is suffering from the same thing. Maybe I can come up with a way to treat both of them.”
t.b.c.
