For Cassy, like all others are. Whether they say so or not.

Similitude


Jacob always let you win.

Every game of tennis at Yale, every sport, every childish game of cards - Jacob always let you win.

Once, so determined and angry, you practiced for hours upon hours to get your serve just right. You had everything perfect for that weekly game – this time you were going to win for real.

You won.

But then you always did. It was self defeating. You only realised this when you saw that Jacob still had that same look in his eyes – half smug, half amusement – when he shook your hand and winked as he took your partner off somewhere.

Jacob always let you win.

Sometimes you would play a game: you would stand toe-to-toe staring at each other. You would be dressed identically, down to the very last detail, and you would match each other move for move.

You would raise your hand and he would raise his until your hands were spayed and almost, but not quite, touching (never touching.) In that moment you would imagine it was glass between your hands and you were his reflection. In that moment he was you and you were him.

One.

Complete.

Then one of you – always him, everything was always him – would move too quickly for the other to follow and you were no longer him (inverted) you were no longer a reflection (backwards) you were just Sydney.

Jacob always let you win, except that one game.

This game you always lost because you never could keep up with him.

Jacob always let you win (except…)

Jacob turned down the Pretender project. He never told you, but he never needed to.

Of course he turned down the Pretender project so you could have it. You have never (been able to compete) been anything but second choice to Jacob.

It’s not surprising.


You’re only his reflection, after all.