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Author's Chapter Notes:

Dean Martin Roasts The Pretender during his holiday special.


Transcript for The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast
Featuring The Pretender


The Pretender gets roasted!


stay tuned here on NBC


message from NBC current time 10:07 pm
NBC broadcast of the dean martin holiday roast
will begin shortly



now a word from out sponsor




The Dean Martin celebrity roast
christmas special featuring
the pretender centre casino and theatre
live from las vegas nevada
feb 2002


Morning before the taping.


Scene 1: Ruth enters Deans room.


Dean: Well good morning to you Ruth!


Ruth: Good morning Dean.


Dean: How are your accomodations?


Ruth: Fine. Except one thing.


Dean: And what is that?


Ruth comes in closer.


Ruth: You failed to deliver on one of your promises!



Dean leans back holding out his arm.



Dean: Wait a minute!


Dean takes a puff on his cigarette while holding her back.



Dean: (cont)...what promise was that?!


Ruth: You dont remember!?


Dean: No!


Ruth: You should, you were there last night!


Audience laughs.


Dean: Now hold on! Maybe we can make some kind of arrangement?


Ruth: Arrangement? Arrangement? Do you even hear yourself Dean?
You know what that does to me!


Dean: Not really. But I'm sure you'll remind me.


She repeatedly smacks him on the head with her purse.


Audience laughs.



TITLE CARD: Later that afternoon before the show:


Dean is at the bar. Brooks walks in the door giving him a questionable look.


Audience laughs.


Brooks makes his was to Dean and takes a seat next to him.



Brooks: Dean.


Dean: Well hello Foster. What brings you hear?


Brooks: Good one Dean. The question is and has always been what doesnt bring me here?


Audience laughs.


Brooks: (cont) Dean, there is something ive got to ask you.


Dean: Sure, what is it?


Brooks: Am I still going to be Mc'ing for you at this years pretender roast? I know I have been
dealing with alot of issues lately.

Dean: Well, if its any consolation Foster,I think the more issues you have, the better for the show!


Audience laughs along with Dean.


Brooks: Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.


Dean: Come closer, of course your going to be mcing for me. Why wouldnt you be?


Brooks: You know Dean, Ive been hearing things...

Dean: Well theres your problem right there!


Audience laughs.


Dean: (cont) Ok Foster. In all seriousness, tell me, what have you heard?

Brooks: (whispers in Deans ear)

Dean: Come to think of it, its not a bad idea!


Audience laughs.



Announcer: More of Dean Martins Holiday Roast to come stay tuned!


TITLE IMAGE: Now Open: Jen Jens centre lounge for relaxation and refreshments....


LIVE PRESENTATION BEGINS:


Dean: Good evening friends and welcome to celebrity roast I am Dean Martin your host!
And tonight we will be remembering a show recently taken off the air called
the pretender. Im sure we call all agree that its pulling was premature especially
considering the fourth season ratings!

Now before I get to the other contributors, I just want to put in my two cents by saying
that the show was my personal favorite. Now wait! Before you try and work at misunderstanding
me, what is not to like about this show? Considering its ratings and all those good looking
people. An intelligent man such as Michael. Everybody wanting him. The 'CENTRE' of attention?

Kind of reminds me about of myself back in my heyday. Well, allright, maybe not,
but at least I still have my good looks! What you dont think so? Why, thankyou!
There you see? At my age you learn to take what you can get. All right, lets kick this thing off!


Announcer: This roast is more than just a singular celebration and reflection of the past! It will be an ongoing
and daily event and also celbrates the pretender and its influence as it reaches into the future for
all time and all generations to come.

The mic is open, so lets keep the celbration going............/




Chapter End Notes:

Still celebrating after all these years!






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