Yawning I pushed open my front-door and carelessly threw the keys onto the kitchen counter before I drained a glass of water in a single draught.

Although I was so very tired, I knew that once again I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. There was nothing that helped. No herbal teas, no warm milk, no relaxing exercises. Whenever I closed my eyes, thoughts filled my head and made me cringe with self-hatred.

I tried not to think about it too much, but it was still lurking inside my head and kept me from falling asleep. At daytime work was hard but interesting and so I didn’t feel the exhaustion, but when I got home, it weighed heavily on me.

I sat down on my couch and sighed. It was only seven o’clock and I was hungry, but not at all in the mood to cook. Esspecially since everything I cooked seemed to taste the same.

I sank into the cushions and rubbed the back of my neck.

Jarod could give excellent backrubs, I thought, though quickly trying to ban him from my thoughts. The Centre kept telling lies and more lies. What was true and what did Lyle make up about Jarod’s and my prior relationship?

I was too tired to think rationally about it and curled up on the sofa, feeling my limbs go heavy with exhaustion.

Please let me sleep, I pleaded to whomever was listening and was glad to feel my mind go blank. My last conscious thought was one of gratitude.

The doorbell rang inside my ears and made me sit up, startled. I groaned when I looked at the clock. I had only slept for ten minutes.

Slowly, I got up and staggered towards the front-door.

“You woke me up!” I snapped, fully expecting to be faced with Lyle’s sheepish puppy-look, but instead looking into a pair of shiny blue eyes.

I strongly suspected my first reaction to be pre-programmed by my old self because I felt like slamming the door into the kid’s smiling face.

“Miss Parker!” she said, her voice oddly melodic. “I haven’t seen you in… like… ages!”

I raised an eyebrow. She had to be twelvish by now although the brief memory I’d had of her had shown her much younger. But without a doubt, this was the girl.

“Debbie…” I said, weighing the name on my tongue, hoping that it would be the right one. Her broad smile could have sent a diabetic right into Intensive Care, so I gathered that my memory, for once, had not let me down.

“I brought you ice-cream!” She said and handed me a huge carton of lemon ice-cream, which I held on to without the foggiest idea how to react properly.

“Would you… like to come in?” I asked, unsure of how to treat her.

“No thank you. Daddy is waiting in the car!” she said, suddenly lurched forward and threw herself at me in a surprisingly firm hug.

“I’ll see you soon!” she promised, then ran back down the driveway at an amazing speed. I looked after her, puzzled, still holding the ice-cream box in my hands.

It took me a moment to realize that it was not very likely to contain ice-cream.

At least I sincerely doubted it due to the fact that the box wasn’t cold, let alone frozen.

I walked over to the dinner table and sat it down onto it, quickly ripping of the lid. I had been right. Inside were a DVD and a note from Broots.

“Seemed to be the easiest way to get them to you without anybody noticing. I copied the files from DSAs to a normal DVD since I am pretty sure they took your DSA-player away. Glad that I could help.”

Only when I slid the DVD into my laptop I realized that my hands had begun to tremble. What was I about to I find?

I clicked onto the first file and was faced with the interior of my father’s office. The file was labelled with a date almost of about one and a half year ago.

Sitting comfortably in front of my father’s desk was a man in the attire of a Sweeper whose face was not visible to the camera.

“I am convinced that you are the right man for the job”, my father said.

“I feel quite honored, Mister Parker”, the Sweeper replied with confidence.

“You are aware that this is a delicate matter and that your participation is needed. Your commitment is only needed for a certain time after which you are required to walk away.”

“I am aware of that”, he said. “I am comfortable with that.”

“Good,” my father replied, gesturing towards the door. “I will make sure that this meeting will be erased off the records. You never know who’s nosing around in the files.”

This hadn’t been very enlightening, I thought, clicking onto the next file.

It showed my father and the creepy man I had learned was Mister Raines, who were talking about a project, which they never specified anything about. Raines seemed to be angry with my father and the only memorable sentence was him telling my father that now after his strategy had failed, they would do it his way, and even get a bonus out of it. Confusing.

The next file from my father’s office was dated to a few days before I had left Blue Cove and lost my memory in an accident. The door opened and I saw myself stride in looking perfectly groomed but stricken.

This was it.

“Daddy, I will not do this,” I announced in a voice that sounded determined but still contained a reasonable amount of discomfort.

“You have to, Angel”, my father argued. “Think about what's in it for you. You should have come up with this plan yourself. Jarod and a child of his would be a perfect match to ensure brillant simulations. No problem to lurr Jarod here when his newborn kid is the bait. Your problems will be solved, the Centre will be back to its old glory and you are free to walk away.”

“You make it sound incredibly easy,” I heard myself say. Was that me? Letting herself be reassured by her father that this was the right thing to do?

“It is!” he said, rounding the table and touching her shoulder. She…, I, stepped away.

“I don’t want a child.”

“You would never see it after you’d given birth.”

I saw grief well up in my own eyes.

“I don’t want to be a mother but I cannot subject my own flesh and blood to the Centre. I will certainly have some kind of connection to that child if it grows inside me.”

I had been so right, I thought. The plan was not only evil but faulty as well. It did not consider the feelings my father should have known I’d develop.

“Be strong,” he said. “Be a Parker. Don’t let stupid nostalgic feelings weaken you.”

“I will not do it, Daddy.” There was more confidence now.

“You will.” His voice was full of steel cold force.

“No!” Almost a shout. Go, Parker, go, I told the woman on the screen. He grabbed my arms hard and I winced.

“You have to.”
”No.”

There was a moment of silence, then he slapped me hard across the face.

“I am disappointed in you!” he said.

“I don’t mind.” I answered, receiving another slap, not even flinching at it this time.

“If I should ever happen to have a child, it will stay with me and I will ensure that it will not be forced to live the dysfunctional childhood I had to deal with.”

“How dare you!” I could almost feel his cold hand smashing against my cheek again now.

“You will do it.”

“Why? Use another bait! Why should it be me? Take another woman Jarod will fall for!” I challenged.

“It must be you,” he insisted.

There was another silence, then I bent forward and looked into his eyes. I had trouble understanding the low growl.

“This is not just about catching Jarod and creating a second Pretender. Tell me. I want to know!”

He sneered and I could feel my heart contract.

“You will see soon enough. You don’t have to know now."

He put a bottle of pills into my palm. “Take these.”

“Fertility drugs?” I smashed the bottle on the floor and tiny pieces of glass and pills scattered everywhere. “Forget it. I will never participate in your stupid plan!”

“You will,” he said coldly and I could hear a sort of reassurance in his voice, that made me shiver with fear.

“What makes you so sure?” I challenged and he grinned a wide grin that suddenly ripped the veil away that had obstructed my eyes and I could see the real him. There was a look of utter horror in my face that convinced me that I had never allowed myself to see him for what he really was ever before.

“I will make sure that your friend Sydney and that pathetic little moron Broots, along with his little brat will be executed if you do not comply. And it will not be an easy death for them. You can take my word for that.”

There was no doubt that he meant what he said.

For a second I didn’t say anything but I could see the defeat in my eyes. There was a long and painful silence, then I watched my defeated figure drop down to her knees and slowly begin to collect the scattered pills.

Blackmail.

It had been so easy. I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or aggrieved.

On the one hand I was relieved that the reason for my participation in this evil sheme had been due to my attempt to protect the people close to me, but on the other hand I was painfully aware of the fact that noone, not even I myself had ever considered that option.

Sydney had never asked me whether I had been forced to do this. He had simply believed that I was actually capable of it. Jarod, too. Broots had forgiven and hoped that it was not true, but he, too, had not considered this to be the reason for my action.

I was not a monster after all.

Suddenly I was exhausted, sinking down upon my windowseat, sitting the laptop down on the floor next to a pile of files.

I was not a monster.

I was not a monster…

And finally sleep came to me.

I had never been a sound sleeper, but the kind of imsomnia that plagued me lately, was new even to me.

I had tried a thousand strategies to cope with what had happened. First I had tried the unreasonable ones. Drinking, which had given me nothing but a horrible hangover, then denial, trying to block out all thoughts of her, then flight, leaving everything that reminded me of her behind.

Nothing had changed, nothing could block out the thoughts of her.

I couldn’t wash her scent out of my clothes, couldn’t erase the image of her from my memory and I sure as hell could not forget about the fact that she was pregnant with my child or why she was.

I still couldn’t seem to come to terms with her betrayal. Despite her cold attitude and the hurtful things she said, I had always believed her to not be willing to cross a certain line. It scared me that she had leapt far beyond that line without me suspecting a thing.

Lying to me like that to be able to conceive a child that was most likely to become the Centre’s next best science project was digusting to say the least. You had to be truly cold-hearted to carry out such a plan. I had always believed that she was not.

Apparently I had been wrong.

Sydney had taught me to contain my rage, to think logically about things and I had always stuck to this course of action, but I had to admit that it had never before taken me that long to calm down.

It was only weeks after her departure that I trusted myself enough not to physically assault her when faced with her. Still, my hands were trembling gripping the wheel while I was speeding along the highway that led towards Blue Cove.

I needed to go about this methodically, because one thing in this whole turmoil of incidents had always stood out clear.

I would do anything to protect my child.

It was already dark when I drove up near her door. I hadn’t been surprised at the sight of two Sweepers, equipped with donuts and coffee, huddled together in a car outside her property. Passing them hadn’t been half as difficult as one could have expected with trained bodyguards at hand.

The door didn’t make a sound as I slid in and my steps were muffled by the carpets when I slowly crept towards the living-room. The lights were still on at this hour, well past midnight, and I frowned at the sight of Miss Parker, wrapped up in a blanket and sound asleep in the window seat.

She looked peaceful like that, one hand holding on to the blanket, the other arm wrapped around her stomach. There was a stack of business files that had probably slid from her lap when she had fallen asleep and the screen of her laptop cast a pale glow onto them.

I couldn’t move while a wave of conflicting emotions washed over me. Deep inside me, I was angry, furious even, wanting to seek revenge but now that she was that vulnerable in front of me, I couldn’t seem to find a way to act upon that rage.
She stirred in her sleep, still oblivious to my presence and snuggled deeper into the cushion with a content sigh.

The sound of her voice brought back memories of her seducing me over a bottle of Chardonnay and the serene look on her face made me think back to her falling asleep in my arms afterwards.

Inside me, disgust was fighting with the urge to just cross over and envelop her in my arms. I found that my head seemed empty and I couldn’t figure out what to do about the situation, so I simply stared.

Her hair was black again and her skin looked pale against the dark streaks that had fallen into her face. She was beautiful.

I tried to pull myself together, to not get confused by whatever feeling I might have held for her before she had done what she’d done.

Remember what she did to you, I told myself sternly and closed my hand around the syringe in my pocket. There was no other way and I knew it. Of all possibilities there were, this was the safest imaginable.

I took a couple of hesitant steps towards her, then quietly dropped down to my knees next to her sleeping form. The scent of her parfume was overwhelming now and I fought the urge to pause in order to inhale it deeply.

This was ridiculous. Even if my body was still attracted to her, there was no way I could allow myself to love her. Everything I was about to do was happening to protect both myself and my child.

She winced as I inserted the needle into her vein, seemed to fight to break the surface of sleep, but then dropped back into unconsciousness. I waited a second to make sure that she wouldn’t wake up again, then felt her pulse. It was slow but steady. Good.

I slowly peeled away the blankets from her body and found that she was still dressed in what seemed to be the day’s business outfit. The emerald green top was cut loosely in order to hide her swollen stomach, the short beige skirt revealed her perfect legs.

I adjusted the blanket around her body, then lifted her into my arms. Her head rolled against my chest and I felt a pang of sadness, thinking back to the day I had carried her to the car. I had been so worried about her well-being that I had then finally realized how much I had already allowed myself to love her.

I carefully carried her towards the door, once again past the Sweepers and placed her into the passengers seat of my car.

She was still unconscious when I turned to her. I knew that she couldn’t hear me, but still I forced all the coldness I felt inside into my voice when I said: “I won’t let you do this, Miss Parker.”

I was woken by the movements of my baby inside me and although I could feel a slight headache coming up, I smiled, my hands reaching down to meet the soft flutter.

It was only then that I realized that I was not laying but sitting and I opened my eyes with a start.

“Welcome back,” a familiar voice told me and although my head wasn’t completely clear yet, I could feel fear begin to creep into every fiber of my body.

I turned my head and looked at Jarod who was driving the car I sat in. More even than his mere presence, the look on his face scared me. I had never seen this dark and distanced look in his eyes and I could tell by the whiteness of his knuckles that he was gripping the stirring wheel with some force.

Unable to speak with my heart beating away furiously I looked down at my feet that were tied together. My hands were, too and I felt so helpless that I would have broken down in tears had I not be so intent on not letting him see my weakness.

“Let me go!” I demanded. “You have no right to do this to me!”

“Oh I do!” he replied with so much conviction that I was puzzled for a moment.

“Where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see soon enough.”

I thought back to Lyle’s words about him. He would do anything to have power over me, I thought. He would even kidnapp me to keep me by his side… but then I remembered what Broots had told me. I had been so shocked with the news that I had never asked him about whether Lyle’s story was true. Somehow I couldn’t really believe it, but I felt that, no matter why, I had a good reason to be afraid of Jarod.

I started struggling, trying to free myself from my restraints, but to no avail.

“I’ll get your sorry ass to prison for this!” I hissed at him, noticing that fury was a good way to chase the fear away. I would insult him and yell at him until I had completely got rid of that feeling.

“To prison?” he asked, chuckling slightly. “Prison is heaven compared to the Centre. And you won’t get me back there. And now you should really stop struggling, Miss Parker,” he said, still distanced but in a rather polite voice now. “Otherwise I would have to sedate you again and I know that you won’t like that.”

“I’ll kill you as soon as I get the chance!” I threatened, still straining against the rope around my hands. They were tied firmly together, but not firm enough to actually hurt. How very kind of him, I thought sarcastically.

His gaze was directed at the empty dark road in front of me. My insults didn’t seem to reach him, so I sank back into my seat, frustration forcing more tears into my eyes. I closed them and drew a deep breath.

Whatever he had used to sedate me had left me with a dry throat so I turned to him.

“I’m thirsty,” I stated flatly. Unlike my insults, he didn’t ignore those words but handed me a water bottle, unscrewing the cap without taking his gaze off the road.

The water made me feel better immediatley.

“We’ll stop for something to eat later,” he told me, his voice almost gentle now.

It was his kindness that turned my fear into annoyance.

“What do you think you’re doing here?” I asked him. “You can try whatever you want! I’ll never love you.”

I just hoped that he wouldn’t realize that I already did.

“Don’t worry, Miss Parker,” he said grimly. “I could never love someone like you either.”

I wouldn’t have expected these words to hurt me so much. I tried to ignore the hollow feeling in my stomach and went on: “Then why can’t you just let me go? What do you want from me?”

He ignored me a while longer, then simply said: “You can stop now. I’m not buying your act, Miss Parker.”

After pretending not to know what was going on some more, Miss Parker had finally fallen asleep. I kept my gaze fixed on the road although I wanted nothing more than to look at her. Instead, I occupied my head with thoughts of my plan.

I had to prevent the Centre from finding us whatever it took. As soon as the baby would be born, I could take it away and make sure it would never come into contact with the Centre.

Whenever I thought about the possibility of my son or daughter having to endure the same fate I’d had, I felt sick with rage. That rage only grew when I allowed myself the thought that it was only happening because Miss Parker was willing to let it happen.

What had made her make that decision? When had she changed so thoroughly that she not only endured but also supported the Centre’s evil plans?

What had her father promised her so she would?

It was early morning when I finally pulled up in front of the house I had chosen to live in for the next few months. I had been sure from the beginning that it would be the perfect choice. Comfortable, yes. Equipped with everything we could possibly wish for. Except for a telephone line- I wouldn’t risk her calling the Centre.

She stirred when I shut off the engine and looked out into the forests that surrounded the house. It was definetly an advantage that she had slept through the trip. This way she wasn’t able to memorize the way out of the forest.

Miss Parker blinked away sleep while I untied her. Once her hands were free, she covered her stomach with them.

“Don’t even try to run away,” I told her calmly. “There’s no sense in it anyway.”

“I know,” she replied in a husky tone, ignoring my offer to help her out of the car.

She was completely silent when she followed me inside and her reaction to everything I showed her around the house consisted of mere nods.

“I’m tired,” she said without looking at me and lowered herself down onto the bed, dropping her head into her hands. She looked shaken and I suddenly felt very much like comforting her beside myself.

“This is about my baby, right?” she asked. “You think I am really going to give it up to the Centre.”

“So you do remember,” I said.

“No. Broots told me.” I could see the anguish in her eyes. “Please believe me, Jarod. I love our daughter. I wouldn’t allow anything to happen to her.”

With her calling the child “our daughter” it suddenly became very real to me.

“You know it’s a girl?” I asked, although I had actually meant to tell her that I wouldn’t take any more lies. I was surprised to see her confusion at my words. There was a distant look in her eyes for a moment, then she shook her head.

“I… I don’t know. It just came into my mind.”

Usually it gives me a great sense of satisfaction when Lyle’s smugness vanishes for once, but this time I knew it was serious when I walked into him threatening a Sweeper. I did the first logical thing that came to my mind and took a step back, hiding in the shadows of a dark corner.

“How could that happen?” Lyle barked. “This is unacceptable. I see to that you will get exactly what you deserve for this!”

“But…” the Sweeper began in a futile attempt to justify himself.

Lyle cut him off. “It’s not that she is exactly easy to miss when she tries to sneak away!” he raged. “Why did you think I would order 24 hour surveillance? Because I’d let you get away with her vanishing?”

I had heard enough to make me worry seriously.

When we had talked last, Miss Parker had reassured me, that she would be okay, that she would not do anything rash. Now she was obviously gone, past the Sweepers. I took a gulp of air and began to hurry towards my office. I was yet to tell Sydney about the fact that Miss Parker was not the person he had made her out to be. I still held reservations against him after him abandoning her without even trying to get under the surface of all of this.

Still, now I needed his help in finding her.

When I entered my office, I knew that something was wrong. There was a shadow against the dim light of the desk lamp so I stopped short in my tracks.

“Who is it?” I called out. Nobody came down here, if they didn’t have to. I was more likely to be called into any superior’s office because they didn’t want to remind themselves of the fact that this building, this corperation, actually consisted solely of dark corners.

The person stepped out of the darkness so the light was able to spill onto the face and chase the shadows away. I gasped, both shocked and confused.

I felt myself grab the doorframe to steady myself against the surge of possibilities that threatened to overwhelm me.

“I take it you are a little surprised to see me,” a voice said and I was flashed a smile that was everything but reassuring.

There was a turmoil of thoughts raging inside my brain but one stood out loud and clear. This is the end of everything I have ever believed to be the truth.