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A special thanks to Kye for all the hard work she puts in as my beta. Thank you to all who have reviewed, you are wonderful.
Jarod’s crying spell finally slowed down and he was able to catch his breath. He left the table in his parents’ room and wandered back into the room he shared with his siblings, wondering what to do now. Was he supposed to leave? Was he supposed to wait until the family got back to say goodbye? The only thing he knew for sure was that all his hopes and dreams of being part of a warm and loving family were shattered. His mother blamed him for the destruction of her family. She hated him and he didn’t blame her. It was his fault the Centre had chased his family. It was his fault Kyle was killed. His mother was just the only one to admit it.
Jarod curled up in a fetal position between the corner of the room and the chest of drawers. He felt safe there. He now had three “walls” surrounding him and anyone come at him would have to come from the front. He took a long, stuttering breath and slowly relaxed. The room was still and the confrontation with his mother had drained him. His eyes slowly closed and he drifted off to an uneasy sleep filled with nightmare images of his mother blaming him, of Kyle dying in his arms, and of all the faceless people killed because of the things he had SIMmed.
Some time later, Jarod was jarred away by his father calling his name. Jarod tried to burrow deeper into the corner, hoping to protect himself from the harsh words he was sure were coming his way. He was almost wishing he was back in the Centre where he knew the rules and the consequences of breaking the rules when a gentle hand started rubbing his back.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered to his father, his eyes still tightly closed. “I didn’t mean to be bad.”
“Jarod, look at me,” he heard his father say gently, but firmly.
Jarod’s only response was to burrow even deeper into the corner.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me, too. Please.”
“I don’t hate you. I promise. Come on; open your eyes for me. Please, Jarod, look at me.”
The Major could see that Jarod was finally calming down. He kept rubbing his oldest son’s back as he continued urging Jarod to look up. His patience was finally rewarded when Jarod raised his head and looked at his father with tear-filled eyes.
“She said it was all my fault. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”
“Sshhh, it’s OK. Take a deep breath for me. That’s a boy. Take another one. Good.”
The Major waited a minute for Jarod to gain his composure back and then helped him up from the corner.
“OK, on the bed now. That’s it. Sit down next to your sister. Now, what was your fault?”
“Everything. Breaking up our family, Kyle’s death. The family having to live on the run.”
Charles could hear the guilt in his son’s voice. Even more concerning to the Major was the depression he could see building in Jarod. From what Sydney had told him during that car ride to the airport, Jarod had depended on his hopes of being reunited with his family to survive the Centre’s horrors. Now that base was teetering and the Major vowed to do whatever was needed to protect his son.
The sound of Margaret entering the next room had Jarod shaking again. He curled up into a ball and started saying, “I’m sorry” over and over. The presence of his brother and sister sitting next to him barely registered. The Major motioned to Ryan and Emily to stay with their brother as he headed into the other room to talk to Margaret.
“What on earth did you and Jarod talk about, Margaret? He’s in the other room, practically catatonic and mumbling something about it all being his fault.”
“He let Kyle be killed! My poor baby, he was supposed to be protected by his big brother, but, no, Jarod lets him get killed.”
“The Centre killed Kyle, not Jarod. You can’t blame that poor boy for that! The Centre is to blame for all our troubles. For our separation, for Emily being raised only by you and for both our boys being kidnapped and raised in that hellhole. The only good thing to come from the Centre is Ryan!”
“He forgot about us! He let that Sydney person become his father!”
“God, Margaret, he was four years old when he was taken! Besides, he may have forgotten our faces, but not that he had parents out here. Sydney, who is a very nice man, says the Centre lied to both of them and said that we were killed in a plane crash.”
“Stop it, please. Don’t fight”
The Major and Margaret both looked over at doorway between the rooms. Jarod stood there, tears running down his face.
“Please, don’t fight because of me. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t be here. I’ll go, just, please stop fighting.”
Jarod spun back into the bedroom and grabbed his stuff. He looked at his sister and brother, whispered “I’m sorry”, and bolted for the exterior door, Emily’s “Jarod!” echoing in his head. He jumped into his Mustang and raced out of the parking lot, missing the sight of his father trying to stop him.
Jarod drove non-stop for a couple of days, ignoring the phone calls from his father and trying to out-race his mother’s words. But, the sound of “it’s all your fault” couldn’t be ignored. No matter how far he drove or how fast he went, the words reverberated in his mind. He knew that she was right; he was to blame for all the misfortunes that his family had suffered through the years.
His erratic driving finally forced him to pull into a cheap motel for a night’s sleep. He didn’t want to be responsible for someone else being injured because of him. He checked into his room and tried to get some sleep, but, without the road distractions, the voice berating him was louder. He tried drowning out the voice by taking a shower, but that didn’t work. He thought about drinking to stop the voice, but he could hear Parker calling him a hypocrite and he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. He finally grabbed his cell phone, hoping Sydney would be able to help him.
“This is Sydney.”
Sydney’s voice was barely audible. Jarod could hear a jumble of voices in the background, practically drowning out Sydney.
“Sydney? Where are you?”
“Jarod, it’s good to hear from you, it’s been too long.”
“What’s going on? Are you at the Centre?”
“It’s Sunday, Jarod, I’m at home. Michele and the others decided to surprise me with a birthday party.”
“Today’s your birthday?”
Jarod wondered why Sydney had never shared that little bit of information with him before. Jarod had thought about finding out, to send him a gift as he did so many times to Parker, but for some reason, he believed Sydney deserved more privacy. But before Jarod could question Sydney any further, he heard a voice in the background, interrupting Jarod’s comment.
“Dr. Sydney, Miss Parker says the steaks are done and it’s time to eat.”
“Was that Debbie Broots?” Jarod asked, curiously.
“Yes, the whole family is here. I…,” this time Sydney was interrupted.
“Freud, if that’s the labrat, tell him to climb back into his cage for the night and come eat. We are all waiting for you.”
“Jarod, I have to go, can you call back in a little while? Jarod? Jarod, are you there?”
Jarod had snapped the phone closed before Miss Parker had finished speaking, his heart now completely shattered.
Sydney considered Parker and Broots as part of his family, but not Jarod. Sydney had raised Jarod and been part of his daily life for over thirty years, but didn’t feel Jarod was worthy of his love. But it only took a handful of years for Parker to worm her way into Sydney’s heart. Jarod had reunited Sydney with Michele and told him about Nicholas, but his reward for those good deeds was to be pushed even further way from Sydney’s love.
He dropped to his knees; the voice in his head was now louder than ever. A second voice soon joined in on the chorus.
“It’s all your fault.”
“The whole family is here.”
“It’s all your fault.”
“The whole family is here.”
“It’s all your fault.”
“The whole family is here.”
Jarod starting rocking back and forth, holding his head in anguish, one thing becoming perfectly clear for him. He was alone.
Jarod curled up in a fetal position between the corner of the room and the chest of drawers. He felt safe there. He now had three “walls” surrounding him and anyone come at him would have to come from the front. He took a long, stuttering breath and slowly relaxed. The room was still and the confrontation with his mother had drained him. His eyes slowly closed and he drifted off to an uneasy sleep filled with nightmare images of his mother blaming him, of Kyle dying in his arms, and of all the faceless people killed because of the things he had SIMmed.
Some time later, Jarod was jarred away by his father calling his name. Jarod tried to burrow deeper into the corner, hoping to protect himself from the harsh words he was sure were coming his way. He was almost wishing he was back in the Centre where he knew the rules and the consequences of breaking the rules when a gentle hand started rubbing his back.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered to his father, his eyes still tightly closed. “I didn’t mean to be bad.”
“Jarod, look at me,” he heard his father say gently, but firmly.
Jarod’s only response was to burrow even deeper into the corner.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me, too. Please.”
“I don’t hate you. I promise. Come on; open your eyes for me. Please, Jarod, look at me.”
The Major could see that Jarod was finally calming down. He kept rubbing his oldest son’s back as he continued urging Jarod to look up. His patience was finally rewarded when Jarod raised his head and looked at his father with tear-filled eyes.
“She said it was all my fault. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”
“Sshhh, it’s OK. Take a deep breath for me. That’s a boy. Take another one. Good.”
The Major waited a minute for Jarod to gain his composure back and then helped him up from the corner.
“OK, on the bed now. That’s it. Sit down next to your sister. Now, what was your fault?”
“Everything. Breaking up our family, Kyle’s death. The family having to live on the run.”
Charles could hear the guilt in his son’s voice. Even more concerning to the Major was the depression he could see building in Jarod. From what Sydney had told him during that car ride to the airport, Jarod had depended on his hopes of being reunited with his family to survive the Centre’s horrors. Now that base was teetering and the Major vowed to do whatever was needed to protect his son.
The sound of Margaret entering the next room had Jarod shaking again. He curled up into a ball and started saying, “I’m sorry” over and over. The presence of his brother and sister sitting next to him barely registered. The Major motioned to Ryan and Emily to stay with their brother as he headed into the other room to talk to Margaret.
“What on earth did you and Jarod talk about, Margaret? He’s in the other room, practically catatonic and mumbling something about it all being his fault.”
“He let Kyle be killed! My poor baby, he was supposed to be protected by his big brother, but, no, Jarod lets him get killed.”
“The Centre killed Kyle, not Jarod. You can’t blame that poor boy for that! The Centre is to blame for all our troubles. For our separation, for Emily being raised only by you and for both our boys being kidnapped and raised in that hellhole. The only good thing to come from the Centre is Ryan!”
“He forgot about us! He let that Sydney person become his father!”
“God, Margaret, he was four years old when he was taken! Besides, he may have forgotten our faces, but not that he had parents out here. Sydney, who is a very nice man, says the Centre lied to both of them and said that we were killed in a plane crash.”
“Stop it, please. Don’t fight”
The Major and Margaret both looked over at doorway between the rooms. Jarod stood there, tears running down his face.
“Please, don’t fight because of me. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t be here. I’ll go, just, please stop fighting.”
Jarod spun back into the bedroom and grabbed his stuff. He looked at his sister and brother, whispered “I’m sorry”, and bolted for the exterior door, Emily’s “Jarod!” echoing in his head. He jumped into his Mustang and raced out of the parking lot, missing the sight of his father trying to stop him.
Jarod drove non-stop for a couple of days, ignoring the phone calls from his father and trying to out-race his mother’s words. But, the sound of “it’s all your fault” couldn’t be ignored. No matter how far he drove or how fast he went, the words reverberated in his mind. He knew that she was right; he was to blame for all the misfortunes that his family had suffered through the years.
His erratic driving finally forced him to pull into a cheap motel for a night’s sleep. He didn’t want to be responsible for someone else being injured because of him. He checked into his room and tried to get some sleep, but, without the road distractions, the voice berating him was louder. He tried drowning out the voice by taking a shower, but that didn’t work. He thought about drinking to stop the voice, but he could hear Parker calling him a hypocrite and he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. He finally grabbed his cell phone, hoping Sydney would be able to help him.
“This is Sydney.”
Sydney’s voice was barely audible. Jarod could hear a jumble of voices in the background, practically drowning out Sydney.
“Sydney? Where are you?”
“Jarod, it’s good to hear from you, it’s been too long.”
“What’s going on? Are you at the Centre?”
“It’s Sunday, Jarod, I’m at home. Michele and the others decided to surprise me with a birthday party.”
“Today’s your birthday?”
Jarod wondered why Sydney had never shared that little bit of information with him before. Jarod had thought about finding out, to send him a gift as he did so many times to Parker, but for some reason, he believed Sydney deserved more privacy. But before Jarod could question Sydney any further, he heard a voice in the background, interrupting Jarod’s comment.
“Dr. Sydney, Miss Parker says the steaks are done and it’s time to eat.”
“Was that Debbie Broots?” Jarod asked, curiously.
“Yes, the whole family is here. I…,” this time Sydney was interrupted.
“Freud, if that’s the labrat, tell him to climb back into his cage for the night and come eat. We are all waiting for you.”
“Jarod, I have to go, can you call back in a little while? Jarod? Jarod, are you there?”
Jarod had snapped the phone closed before Miss Parker had finished speaking, his heart now completely shattered.
Sydney considered Parker and Broots as part of his family, but not Jarod. Sydney had raised Jarod and been part of his daily life for over thirty years, but didn’t feel Jarod was worthy of his love. But it only took a handful of years for Parker to worm her way into Sydney’s heart. Jarod had reunited Sydney with Michele and told him about Nicholas, but his reward for those good deeds was to be pushed even further way from Sydney’s love.
He dropped to his knees; the voice in his head was now louder than ever. A second voice soon joined in on the chorus.
“It’s all your fault.”
“The whole family is here.”
“It’s all your fault.”
“The whole family is here.”
“It’s all your fault.”
“The whole family is here.”
Jarod starting rocking back and forth, holding his head in anguish, one thing becoming perfectly clear for him. He was alone.
