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Jarod pulled Parker into him as they laid in bed. She closed her eyes and felt his warmth. The soft beating of his heart was comfort to her.

"I'm glad to be back here. Nothing else matters but the both of you." She took his hand and kissed his fingers. He was quiet. "Jarod?"

Parker sat up. She saw silence in his eyes. Tears gathered in his chocolate browns and trailed down his cheeks. She delicately wiped them away with a gentle touch and a soft embrace.

"You are the pages to my book, of my life." She whispered.

His eyes locked with hers. He hung on to her. "I love you, Parker. Don't ever leave me. Me and the baby. What would we do without you?"

"Is this what love is all about? To feel each other's pain?'' She stroked his face.

"Love is a precious thing. With the slightest slip up, It can be taken away so easily. Shattered into a million pieces." He looked straight up at the ceiling and not a her.

She held back her tears. "If things don't work out for me, I mean, if...Jarod, we've got to talk about certain things."

"Things? What things?" He turned to her. His eyes widened and he looked into those beautiful blue sapphire-colored eyes of hers.

"If by chance something goes wrong...if they find something..." Parker was cutoff by Jarod.

"They'll probably do a biopsy, when it's remove...the lump, cyst..there will be options to consider, but, the doctors will do what they feel is right."

She raised her voice at him. "No! It'll be my choice. Have me kiss my breast goodbye?"

"You think you'll be a lesser woman without one of these?" He softly touched her breasts. "I'll love you no matter what."

"Once you feel something, it's usually too late by then."

"Not always. It has to be checked, if it's malignant or benign. I can't believe with all these modern technology, you didn't go in immediately for that checkup. Why, Parker? Why?" His anger was slowly creeping in. He moved away from her.

"Can you promise me something?" Miss Parker inched herself closer to Jarod.

His arms laid across his chest. "Depends on what."

She ran her fingers up and down his arm. "Nothing. Just hold me, please." She cried.

He sighed loudly. "Come here." He tenderly embraced her. "It's okay, honey, it'll be alright."

"What is it with us? Will we ever be happy together? Maybe we were never meant to be." The one absolute emotion Parker had never wanted to feel was feeling sorry for herself. She wanted to be strong for Jarod and Burke, but, slowly, she felt her world crashing down.

"I could just run and hide," she said. A warm teardrop fell on his chest.

"You can't, Parker. You're in my world now, mines and Burke's. We're not letting you go."

"I'm definitely running out of time here, Jarod." She speculated.

"I'd like to say there's nothing to be afraid of, but, I'm terrified."

"Of me ceasing to exist? You think I'm going to die?"

"Yes too both questions."

"What?" She had a sharp tone to her voice.

"We're all going to die eventually, Parker. But, not right now. You have a lifetime of "us" waiting for you."

She wept. "Who's going to take care of the baby, take care of you? Burke will feel cheated. He's never known Rachel and he won't remember me. He'll need my advice on everything. I won't be there for his everything. Rachel died knowing I was going to take care of her baby. I won't know who's going to take care of my baby when I die."

"Stop it," he scolded. "I love you. Everything will be alright. You're a wonderful mother to Burke. He couldn't ask for a better mommy. You haven't even gone to the doctor as of yet, so, quit diagnosing yourself." He kissed her temples. "You'll be alright. I promise." Inside, Jarod was petrified of the outcome.

"I know it's my first night back here..."

"Back home," Jarod corrected her.

"Back home, but, could the baby sleep with us? I just want the two of you snuggled up with me tonight."

"Yes. Go get our son," he smiled.

How could Jarod fight his heart for what he felt for Parker? After the many years of undeniable attraction, what he thought would finally be a lifelong happiness with her, somehow, again, the Parker curse had forced its way into them.

Parker kissed the baby's forehead. "Jarod." She laid Burke on the bed and slipped his nightshirt off." "The baby feels a bit warm. Get the thermometer. He's got a fever. What's the matter, sweetie pie? Feeling under the weather tonight?"

Jarod stuck the thermometer into the baby's ear.

"What's his temperature? Okay, sweetie, alright, shhh, you'll be alright." He fussed a bit, being interrupted by his sleep.

"101," Jarod replied. "I'll get his medicine."

"We'll cool you down, okay? Here's daddy. Say, ah." Burke frowned and smacked his lips.

"There. That wasn't so bad, was it? Now drink your water like a good boy. It'll keep you cool, my precious." He sucked on his bottle and gulped down his water.

She turned to Jarod worriedly. "He needs a lukewarm bath to get down his temperature."

Parker held Burke while he splashed around in the tub. "He doesn't seem to be fussy. In fact he's enjoying his little tub bath."

He cried when he was taken out of the tub. "Oh, sweetie. You can't stay in there all night. You'll get all shriveled up like a raisin. There you go. Nice and cool, now."

Jarod bundled him up with a soft fluffy towel. "Stop your crying. Mommy and I want you to sleep with us tonight, okay? All cuddled up next to us, alright? Would you like that?"

After she dressed him in a cool nightshirt, he was laid on the bed. Burke was sandwiched in between his parents and quieted down.

Parker caressed his forehead softly. She pressed her lips on his hand, then, gently rubbed his tummy. "I love you, sweetie pie." Smiling at Jarod, she whispered. "I love you, too, for the rest of my life."

"I know you do. You are so amazing. Motherhood just comes out naturally for you, doesn't it? We love you, too, mommy."

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It was Monday morning and Parker sat nervously awaiting her turn. Jarod interlocked his fingers with hers. No one spoke. Thoughts went through his head. He had a helpless feeling. What could he possibly do to make her pain and terror go away? Nothing. This was not a pretend where he suddenly could change the course of people's lives. This was Parker's life. A life he's loved forever.

Cancer. She was petrified of the word. Breast Cancer. She watched other women who had gone in and out of the room and wondered how many had just gotten the dreadful news. A young nurse in purple scrubs walked into the waiting room. Her eyes roamed around as Miss Parker's name was called out. She held her breath and stood up.

"Hey, it'll be alright." Jarod kissed her before she left.

Led into the examining room, Miss Parker undressed from above her waist. She walked up to the machine. The technologist positioned and compressed her breast gently and slowly, one at a time, between two plates, until she no longer could have taken a breath. Two pictures were taken of each side. Compression was necessary to flatten her breast although it nearly made Parker dropped down on her knees due to the pain.

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Parker looked out of the window. Jarod wrapped his arms around her from behind. "You alright?" He whispered.

She wiped her tears and faced him. He laced strands of her hair around his finger and kissed her forehead.

"At least Debbie will be around as a babysitter when I'm gone. She could teach my baby a lot of things. She could help out after school and on weekends. A really great help she'll be for you."

"What the hell are you talking about? What would I be needing Debbie for? Are you planning on going somewhere?" Tired of her pessimism, Jarod shouted.

"Something's wrong, I can feel it."

"If you felt something was wrong, why the hell did you take so long? Or would you have ever gone to have it checked? I felt it! That's the only reason you decided to have it checked out! What were you thinking?"

"Alright! We've been through this already. Alright, alright, alright! Just call me stupid! And now I'm the one suffering!" Parker screamed, but, then lowered her voice. "I'm sorry. You and Burke are the ones suffering now, because you don't know how long I'll be around."

"You're not dying, alright! You're not dying! You just took the damned test! We'll just have to be patient and wait, probably several days or so."

"The telephone's ringing!" She hollered at him and headed to answer it.

"I can hear it! I'm not deaf! Heaven only knows why I'm not hard of hearing from the way we've been yelling at each other!"

He knew. He knew by the somber sound of her voice and the look in her eyes that it was bad news. Parker quietly laid down the receiver.

"What is it? Who was that? Parker? Who was on the telephone?" Jarod asked, but yet, he knew.

"Well, that was the doctor's office. He wants to see me the first thing tomorrow morning regarding my test. Now, tell me again how you won't need Debbie to babysit for you?" She panicked.

"You don't know what he's going to say."

"It doesn't take a genius to know that the only time your doctor calls you into his office after taking some tests is to tell you bad news! I've got to tell Burke I'm very sorry I'm sick." Painfully she cried out. "Mommy's very sorry she's sick!"

Jarod roughly pulled her into him. "Stop it, just stop it."

Parker fought him. "Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Don't touch me," she cried. He embraced her tightly. She tried to push him away, but, finally clung on to him for comfort.

"Tell me what can I do for you." Jarod's voice was barely audible. "Tell me what you need."

"I need you here with me. I need you to tell me you love me and hold on to me and never let me go. I need you to be my everything."

"Oh, Parker. I'll be here for you. I love you and I'll hold on to you forever and never let you go. I"ll be your everything as much as you're my everything."

TBC - Chapter 10











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