"He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God." Aeschylu

 

While still holding the cell phone to his ear, Jarod went into action. Ignoring the dull but constant pain in his head and the aching muscles, he stood from the bed and hurriedly got dressed and began to pack his meager belongings, throwing them inside his duffle bag. His mind was racing as frightening scenarios invaded his thoughts, but he pushed the fear aside and quickly calculated. He was about a hundred miles from Blue Cove and with any luck he could reach her in less than two hours. 'Yes, I have to reach her in time.' He prayed silently.

"Miss Jamison...are you still there?" Jarod asked nervously, when the silence continued. Her ruse didn't fool him for a second.

"Yes, I'm here." Parker replied tiredly.

Suddenly Parker heard a crashing sound through the line, followed by a sudden loud cry and some blurred profanity.

"Doctor Bailey, are you alright?" Parker asked curiously.

"Yes, yes...I'm fine." Jarod answered while sitting on the floor rubbing his painfully bruised toe. "I accidentally ran into the foot of the bed." Jarod added as he examined his toe, which was already acquiring a deep shade of blue.

"You should be more careful Doctor." Parker replied unable to hold back a snicker.

"I'll take that under advicement Miss Jamison."

"Miss Jamison, how long have you known Sydney?" Jarod asked, trying to keep her on the line.

"All my life." Parker replied, her voice reflecting her somber mood.

"So, you must be very close." Jarod continued.

"People would think that, but is not like that." Parker's voice was low and she sounded tired.

"I don't understand." Jarod said pretending to be confused, but he knew very well what Miss Parker meant. Over the years she had built a protective wall around her heart, preventing others from getting too close. It was her defense to stay strong and survive among the monsters, but now she was hurting, she was all alone and needed a friend.

"You ask too many questions Doctor." Parker said somewhat annoyed. "Just like Sydney."

"Sorry, old habits die hard."

"Yeah, all you shrinks are the same. Always trying to get people to talk and spill out their guts."

"Well, they say that confessions are good for the soul." Jarod said with a smile.

"I don't have a soul." Parker replied coldly.

"Yes you do Miss Jamison." Jarod replied in a soothing voice. "We all have bad days when our soul gets clouded, but in the end we are still human and we need each other. No matter how much we try to prove otherwise."

"No Doctor, I lost my soul a long time ago." Parker said mournfully.

A long moment of silence followed. Jarod waited anxiously for Parker to continue or hang up. The seconds seemed like hours. Not wanting to waste more time, Jarod stood from the floor and still limping he gathered his last belongings, put on his shoes on and exited his motel room.

Just as he was about to speak, Parker continued.

"My life is very complicated Doctor...No, it not a life it's a curse."

"I'm good at solving problems Miss Jamison and at the moment I'm headed for a long drive all alone." Jarod started cautiously. He didn't want to push too hard and lose her. "If you like to talk, I would be more than happy to listen...I'm a good listener and sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger."

"Why would you want to listen to my problems Doctor?" Parker asked suddenly. Her defensive wall coming back up again. "Are you some kind of White Knight looking for maidens in distress?"

Jarod laughed at her sarcastic remark. This was so typical of Miss Parker to hide her pain behind that cold-hearted mask. "No Miss Jamison, I don't claim to belong to any knighthood, but I will always try to be a devoted champion of a lady."

"Oh Please." Parker replied rolling her eyes.

Still laughing Jarod continued, "Like I said before, it is an old habit of mine, plus you sound like a really nice person." Jarod said amiably as he threw his duffel bag and silver case in the back seat of his rental and started the engine. "Come on Miss Jamison. Would you please keep me company during my trip?"

"Alright Doctor...I have nothing better to do at the moment." Parker replied, closing her eyes and leaning back on the couch. Her headache was getting worse and she wished she knew where Sydney kept the liquor. Right now she would give anything for a shot of cognac. Maybe talking to this guy for a while would help her take her mind away from the sledge hammer pounding inside her head. Despite everything, she found she was craving the contact, for once it just seemed too hard to face it alone.

"Thank you Miss Jamison." Jarod said with a sigh of relief.

"So where are you headed at the moment Doctor?"

"I'm headed east towards Delaware." Jarod answered casually.

"Really? Parker said simply trying to hide her interest. "Doctor, are you planning to stop by Sydney's place?"

"Well, I have a few meetings to attend first, but I would love to see my old friend before I leave for home again."

"And where is home?" Parker asked suddenly.

The question caught Jarod by surprise, but he quickly concocted a story that would satisfy her suspicious nature. "I've been living in Scotland for almost a year doing some research, but I arrived here at the States about a month ago to attend a couple of seminars and visit old friends."

"Do you have any family here?" Parker continued.

"I lost my parents when I was very young." Jarod said mournfullythinking of the day when he would finally meet with his parents again. But now was not the time to think about his pain. He pushed the sad thoughts aside and continued, "But I have a sister here and I hope to see her soon."

"Do you have any family here Miss Jamison?" Jarod asked cautiously.

"No, both my parents are dead." Parker replied dryly.

"I'm sorry." Jarod said softly and paused before continuing, "How about brothers or sisters?"

"I had a sister...Her name was Faith...She died when I was very young." Parker spoke slowly as if she was a million miles away. After an uncomfortable long silence she continued. "I also have a brother, but he's dead to me." Her voice was almost inaudibly, but he could hear her pain. "My real brother, well the one that I saw as my real brother, died a few days ago."

"I'm sorry, Miss Jamison." Jarod said softly trying to comfort her. "It's very sad to lose someone you love."

Here he was trying to help her, but Parker's words just created more confusion and concern. 'What did she mean by real brother? Who was she talking about?'

"So you had two brothers?"

"No just one brother, his name was Angelo."

"Angelo?" Jarod asked alarmed, steering his car to the side of the road and coming to a sudden stop.

"Yes, his name was Angelo." Parker repeated somewhat confused. Something was beginning to bother her about this guy. Why was this doctor so interested in her family? She rarely listened to the voices that murmured in the back of her mind, but this time her inner sense was telling her that this guy was hiding something, but at the same time he posed no threat.

"WHY DO YOU ASK? HAS SYDNEY EVER SPOKEN TO YOU ABOUT ME OR MY FAMILY?" Parker snapped at him, her voice gravely serious.

"NO...NO NEVER, is just that...the name, Angelo is very unique." Jarod said fighting to control the emotions and the pain that he felt after hearing about his friend's death. Jarod leaned his head heavily on the steering wheel and closed his eyes. Right now, Parker's safety was his priority, later he would have time to mourn the loss of his childhood friend. With a lump in his throat, Jarod continued, "The name Angelo comes from the Latin name Angelus which derived from the name of the heavenly creature, meaning "messenger."

"Yes, that sounds like Angelo." Parker said sadly. "He was our guardian Angel."

"Our?" Jarod asked automatically.

"Angelo, another boy and me became friends when we were young." Parker began. "We were very close and we used to spend many hours together, playing, talking and also getting into trouble." Her voice was soft and Jarod could almost see the smile in her face as she reminisced about those innocent years. "Angelo was kind, funny and gifted in many ways...He always warned us when trouble was near."

"Maybe you were also his guardian ANGEL." Jarod said placing emphasis on the name he had cherished since he was a child.

Parker laughed, but the sadness was still present.

"Miss Jamison you and that other boy were very lucky to have a friend like Angelo." Jarod whispered with sadness in his voice.

"Yes, we were very lucky for a few years, but life is very cruel and forced us apart."

"What happen to the other boy?" Jarod asked steering his vehicle back into the highway. He still had another hour drive ahead, but most important of all he had to keep her on the line until Sydney arrived.

"He's gone also." Parker's voice crack on the last word. "Sometimes I wish I could go back in time."

"Why do you say that?"

"I would change so many things." Parker said sadly.

"Like what?" Jarod asked with apprehension. Here she was, the "Ice Queen" about to divulge her deepest feelings. Suddenly he felt guilt and fear. Innocently, Parker was opening up to him; sharing her real feelings and fears, something he wanted to know for so long, but on the other hand, if she ever learned that the mysterious caller was him, she would surely shoot him on sight the next time their paths crossed. Unexpectedly, her soft spoken words brought him back from his musing and he quickly pushed aside his anxiety and listened attentively.

"Why do we always wait until it is too late to say the things we really feel?" Her voice was filled with regret.

"I don't know Miss Jamison...Maybe because of fear or we just don't see how short and valuable life really is." Jarod's said in a soothing voice.

"I never told him that I loved him." She said almost inaudibly. "I betrayed him."

"I'm sure he knew that you loved him...Sometimes actions speak louder than words." Jarod said softly and looked at the calendar in his watch. Suddenly, he remembered. Today was the anniversary of Thomas's death. How could he forget? A wave of guilt engulfed him. Now he knew the cause of her pain.

"Thomas wanted to start a new life with me, to make a home and have a family, but all that was buried with him...He wanted to take me away from here but..." Her voice broke.

"You didn't want to leave your family." Jarod finished for her.

"My family" Parker laughed through her tears. "They are the cause of all my misery."

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to intrude."

The mysterious caller's deep voice and heartfelt apology somehow made her feel better and not so alone anymore. There was something familiar in his voice, in his words, but her mind was so clouded she just could not focus on her intuition.

"You don't have to apologize doctor." Silence ruled for a moment. "You're right. I've always been afraid of showing my true feelings to others, but now it's too late."

"Life is a strange journey Miss Jamison, but it is worth the pain and the struggle. Life is full of beautiful things no matter how dark it seems at this moment."

"I don't have anyone anymore." Parker's voice broke momentarily. "My life...my world is filled with evil and darkness and the only way out is..." She was unable to finish her thoughts.

"NO MISS JAMISON, YOU'RE WRONG!" Jarod shouted, unable to hide the panic in his voice. "What about Sydney? He cares about you and I'm sure you have others in your life who care a great deal about you as well."

Silence continued to rule between them.

Why couldn't she see that others really cared about her? Friends like Broots, Debbie and even Sam. Over the years he had witnessed the family-like ties they had created and how they protected each other from the evils that surrounded them within the Centre walls. Why was she so blind to see this?

He wanted to be next to her, to dry her tears and hold her; to tell her how much she meant to him and that she was the reason why he never vanished completely, but for now this phone line would have to do and he was not going to leave her alone until he felt she was safe with her pain.

"I always push away those most important to me." Parker spoke slowly as a new wave of tears began to flow. "Why do I do this doctor?"

"I don't know Miss Jamison." Jarod replied and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Maybe you're afraid to get hurt again."

"There were so many times I wanted to tell him that we were more than friends...That I cared for him...That I loved him." Parker murmured softly.

I'm sure that Thomas knew." Jarod said simply and sighed inwardly. Even though he had lit the torch that started her love affair with Thomas, deep inside he had felt envious of his friend's happiness with the woman he loved. But now these feelings had turned to guilt. Once again, he felt responsible for the death of an innocent man.

"No, I'm not talking about Thomas." Parker replied faintly.

Jarod sucked in a sharp breath and for an instant he was speechless. "I don't understand." He said cautiously.

In great detail, Parker began to tell him the story he knew so well. From the time when they were children at the Centre to their more turbulent years that shattered their friendship. Parker spoke about their childhood adventures and discoveries; about their pain and loneliness and the regrets of never sharing her true feelings with him. Her voice was sad and distant, but it clearly expressed a longing for all those lost years and for a second chance to fix things before her life was over. She sounded sincere. She was no longer hiding behind that heartless mask and she sounded determined to carry out her plan. Her state of mind truly alarmed him and Jarod was glad when he finally saw the exit to Blue Cove in the distance. He pressed down on the accelerator and prayed that he would reach her on time. "Yes, I have to reach her on time." Jarod mumbled under his breath.

"Did you say something?" Parker asked suddenly.

"I was just wondering...Why don't you try to reach your friend Miss Jamison?" Jarod asked in a soft voice, trying to hide his fear, but he could feel his heart pounding out of control.

Parker laughed, but it was a laugh filled with sadness. "He's gone too...I pushed him away, like I do with everyone who wants to get close to me." She paused for a moment. "Who knows where he might be at this moment?" Parker stood from the couch and walked to the window. Pulling the shades aside with her free hand, she stared at the lonely street and whispered, "I hope he found his mother."

Jarod could feel the tears welling in his eyes and that burning sensation in his throat that choked his voice. He wanted to tell her the truth, but feared her reaction. Now he was just a few blocks away from Sydney's home. He was not going to fail her this time even if it meant risking his own life. Fighting to keep his emotions under control, Jarod wiped his eyes with one hand and began slowly, "Maybe he's closer than you think?"

"After my last rejection, I doubted that he will ever want to come close to me." Her voice was barely audible as the tears streamed out of her eyes once more.

"Don't be so hard on yourself Miss Jamison. Love is never easy...Love is worth fighting for...Is worth the pain and the effort."

Parker's lips curled into a soft smile. "Doctor Bailey maybe you should write one of those romance novels."

"Maybe I will again." Jarod replied with a laugh.

"Oh please don't tell me you are also a writer." Parker said rolling her eyes.

"I've written a few books in the past...and may I say, I'm pretty good."

"Now I really need a drink." Parker growled irritably and began pacing the family room.

"That's bad for your ulcer." Jarod said automatically.

'WHAT?" Parker spat back coming to a sudden stop by the window.

"I mean...Uh...drinks can give you an ulcer." Jarod quickly corrected and breathed a sight of relief.

"I don't care anymore." Parker's voice trembled with emotion.

"Others do Miss Jamison...I care." Jarod whispered.

Frowning she said, "You don't even know me Doctor."

"It doesn't matter...You sound like a good person...a good friend."

"No, I'm not." Parker said mournfully. "I betrayed his friendship in the worse way." Parker uttered in a whimper. "I made his life a living hell, but deep inside I knew I could never bring him back to the Centre." Parker paused again as the tears choked her. "I was just too stubborn to admit this to myself...to him. I was so stupid for hiding my true feelings...I wanted to tell him so many times."

"I'm sure that he knew Miss Jamison."

"Well, now is too late anyways." Parker said somberly.

"It is never too late for the Truth Miss Jamison." Jarod replied softly. "The truth will set you free."

An uncomfortably long silence followed.

"Why are you doing this?...Why are you helping me?" Parker asked in a small voice.

Another pause followed as Jarod brought his car to a stop two houses away from Sydney's home. Immediately, he noticed Parker's car parked in the driveway, but still there was no sign of Sydney. Nervously, and as a force of habit that had kept him free for the past six years, Jarod scanned the neighborhood for any signs of sweepers, but everything was clear for now.

Turning the engine off, Jarod leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes. He was exhausted from his journey and the throbbing pain in his head was still present. With his eyes still close, he took a deep breath and proceeded to answer her question.

"Miss Jamison you sounded like you needed a friend...You sounded sad and troubled." Jarod's voice was filled with concern.

"TROUBLED." Parker released a sad laugh and wiped away the new tears that made trails down her cheek. "That's the title of my twisted life story."

Once again, Parker walked to the window and stood there staring at nothing in particular. "Doctor, I bet by now you probably wished that you had dialed the wrong number and hung-up." Parker said mournfully.

"No Miss Jamison, I could never do that to you."

Silence took over the line for a few long seconds before Jarod spoke again. His voice was calm but somewhat saddened. "A friend once told me that the painful things we experience as a child help to make us stronger."

"But what happens when the strength is gone and the battle is lost?" Parker said in a defeated voice.

"Miss Jamison as long as there is life and hope one must continue to fight." Jarod pleaded with her. "You must let the hurt inside you die and start a new life."

"I don't know if I can do this anymore." She choked on a sob. "I'm just so tired."

The sadness and despair in Parker's voice broke his heart into a million pieces and the fear of losing her escalated to a new high. No, he was not going to lose her now. Since his escape from the Centre he had tried to free her from that Hell but failed. A failure that still haunted him in his nightmares, but this time he was not going to let her down, even if it meant risking his own life.

"Miss Jamison please don't talk like that." Jarod began very softly. He had to take her mind away from her pain and keep her safe until Sydney arrived. "Please stop dwelling about the mistakes of the past. They will only bring you more sadness."

"That's all I've ever known in my life, loneliness and sadness."

"NO ITS NOT!" Jarod said sharply. "You brought a lot of happiness to your friends, according to the stories you just told me."

"That was a million years ago."

"But they will never forget those special moments and they will always care about you...Miss Jamison allow for those good memories to give you strength and not sadness."

The mysterious caller's deep voice brought her a sense of peace she had not experienced for a long time and her lips began to curb with a soft smile. An uneasy silence took over the line before Miss Parker spoke again.

"Doctor, you remind me of someone that was very special to me." Parker began. "He was one of the boys..."

"I have an idea!" Jarod interrupted suddenly. "Since Sydney is not home yet, would you like to join me for lunch?"

"I don't know." Parker replied with hesitation. "I really need to wait for Sydney and at the moment I'm not the best company."

"Come on Miss Jamison." Jarod begged. "I'm new in town and after talking to you these past few hours, I would love to meet face to face." Nervously, Jarod ran his hand through his hair and thought, 'What am I doing? God, I hope she left her 9mm at home.'

"No Thank you Doctor, at the moment I rather be alone."

"Alright, maybe we could meet at another time." Jarod replied with some regret, but he didn't want to insist and make her suspicious. "Could we continue to talk?" He asked cautiously. "I really enjoyed your company."

"There's nothing more to say and I'm very tired...It was very nice talking to you Doctor and thank you for listening." Parker said sincerely.

"WAIT! Please don't hang up." Jarod implored, unable to hide the panic in his voice any longer. "I'm worried about you." He whispered.

"Don't worry Doctor, I'll be alright...I'm beginning to see things clearer now and I know what I must do." Parker's voice was calmed and determined.

Parker's last words send a chilling sensation down his spine and he knew he could not wait any longer. Without further delay, Jarod opened his car door and steeped out of the car, still holding his cell phone to his ear. "Miss Jamison wait...There is something I must tell you." Jarod began.

Just as he was about to start walking towards the house, Sydney's car came down the street and pulled up the driveway. Immediately, Jarod stopped his approach and returned to the safety of his vehicle.

"What?" Parker asked timidly and then paused. "Wait a minute Doctor, I think Sydney is here."

From his car Jarod could see a hand moving the curtains aside and a very familiar figure appeared in front of the window. He closed his eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief. 'Now Sydney would keep her safe.'

Jarod watched anxiously as the old psychiatrist stepped from his car and approached Miss Parker's car, stopping for a moment and looking around as if puzzled by her visit. Inwardly, Jarod wished that Sydney would hurry, but then he took in the aged appearance of his mentor. It was clearly visible that his many years of servitude at the Centre, the stress and demanding hours of his job had finally taken a toll on his health. Suddenly, Jarod found himself fighting the urge to leave his car to aid his old friend up the steps, but Miss Parker's voice brought him back to reality.

"Doctor are you still there?

"Yes Miss Jamison, I'm here." Jarod replied somewhat distracted.

"Doctor Bailey, Sydney just arrived. Would you like to speak with him?"

"No, I will call him later." Jarod said with a smile. "You both probably have a lot to talk about."

"Oh Doctor, you said there was something you had to tell me." Parker asked curiously.

"It was nothing important." Jarod said playfully. "We will talk about it the next time we meet."

"Alright Doctor...Thank you again for listening." Parker said simply.

"Your very welcome Miss Jamison and I hope to see you soon." Jarod said softly.

"Good-bye Doctor Bailey."

"Good-Bye Miss Jamison."

After the line was disconnected, Jarod leaned his head back against the headrest and watched the scene before him with a sense of nostalgia. He smiled when he saw Miss Parker opened the front door and ran to greed the old man with a warm embrace. For an instant he felt jealous of his childhood friend, but most important of all, she was safe now. He really missed Sydney and their long talks, but he knew that soon he would have the chance to visit his old friend without having to look over his shoulder constantly. With a mischievous smile Jarod reached over and placed a hand over the old wooden box that lay in the passenger seat. Finally in his possession were the secrets that would bring down the Centre. Soon everything would come to an end and they would have the freedom that was stolen from them so long ago, but first he had to remove the last pawn in this deadly game.

TBC