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Chapter or Story 
Chapter or Story
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Don’t expect much of a plot; this is just an exercise in comedy. I wanted to write something that will make me and others smile. The whole idea around MP and crew is to see how far I can push the envelope in terms of what she as a character will do in order to catch Jarod and of course, how far Jarod will go in order to annoy her. (Just a warning, maybe things will get really weird – I like Terry Pratchett – if my humor is anything to go by) ;-) P.S. For those aussies out there, read The Last Continent and you’d understand what I mean. And if you want, drop me a mail to discuss it… ;-)
So, for now, don’t expect Jarod and MP’s story to intertwine…BUT, who knows, maybe Dog will sniff the trio out and bring with him Jarod and Argyle. Mmm…in any case, hope you have fun reading this, it is not meant to by anything more than that.
Behind door number 2…
Jarod stood with Argyle by a lamppost on the corner of a street. Argyle was still using his deductive powers to explain the mystery away of why Dog had disappeared. He had no idea how Argyle’s brain worked and Jarod mused that it would take a team of specialists years to figure out. What normally constituted as logic just never seemed to surface with Argyle. The way he jumped from one idea to the next defied any deductive reasoning.
“Argyle, show to me exactly what you did,” Jarod interrupted just as Argyle was about to explain why aliens would want to abduct Dog.
“Oh, right, well,” Jarod watched as Argyle moved backwards ten steps. Then Argyle closed his eyes and breathed deep. Jarod stood and stared, wondering what the man is going to do next.
Then Argyle began, “Imagine Dog next to me, can you pretend that you’re seeing Dog, J-man?” Jarod nodded, not wanting to spoil the other’s moment. He was after all a pretender. Argyle cleared his throat, convinced that Jarod could now envision Dog walking next to him. He started a bold swagger, as he walked towards where Jarod stood.
“Here I was, walking and,” Argyle stood still, his hand next to his ear as he tilted his head and closed his eyes. Pointing to the right, he said, “over there were some guys that listened to some loud music, hip-huff or whatever they call the stuff, not like Elvis or Brown, not the same style…”
“Argyle…”
“Oh right, sorry J-man. Like I was saying, over there was this group of guys but I didn’t pay them a lot of attention. What I saw was this real babe. She wasn’t like Brigitte, you know the lady that wanted to kill me, oh no, she was sweet, she was nice. She walked across the street and me, being a normal, full-blooded male, could only admire her walk. See because I was so enthralled by her beauty, I almost walked into that lamppost. It was close man, real close or I would have had a shiner like you wouldn’t believe,” Argyle was about to explain further when Jarod asked him, “So that is when you noticed that Dog was gone.”
“Yeah man, right there. I looked down to explain to Dog, on account that Dog didn’t notice, that I had nearly walked into the lamp post. So what do you think, J-man? What happened to Dog?”
Argyle stared with a very trust- and hopeful look at Jarod as if Jarod had already figured out the whole mess and would bring Dog back immediately.
“When, exactly is the last time you saw Dog?” Jarod asked, hoping that Dog was about to appear behind a dumpster in the alley to the right.
“Oh, uh, I have to think about that one.” He looked upwards and to Jarod it was painful to watch the mental gears grind away in Argyle’s brain. After a minute Jarod was about to give up and continue with any of the other scenarios he had envisioned when Argyle took four careful steps backward.
“About here, J-man.”
So, Dog had managed to disappear in four steps. He took in his surroundings. To where the men had been was an open area of grass. The grass was a yellow brownish color and here and there he could see patches of ground in between the refuse that lay scattered over the field. There was a smallish bench and that is where the men must have sat or stood. Next to the open ground was an old colonial house, so rundown that he wondered why it had not been bulldozed. A small alley ran between the house and the next one. It was littered with old garbage. Across the road were houses in equal state of disrepair. For Dog to have disappeared he couldn’t have gone across the road. Argyle would have seen him, although Jarod wondered about that one. If Argyle was so “enthralled” by the lady, he doubted very much if Argyle would have noticed a bomb going off next to him. Convinced though that the least likely route for Dog was across the road, he concentrated on the area closest to them.
With Argyle following on his heels, he walked towards the alley. Looking down the alley, he could see another road on the other side. Stepping over the garbage, he made his way through the obstacles towards the other side of the alley. It opened on a better area than the one he left, but not by much. A busy thoroughfare intersected not far from where he had emerged. If Dog had been dog-napped, then the getaway car could have stood here. He did notice a few oil stains on the tar next to the pavement. When he touched it, he could feel the grit beneath his fingers. It was obviously an old car that haven’t been serviced recently, that had stood here.
“Did you find something J-man?”
“Maybe,” was Jarod’s answer. He made his way back down the alley and towards the park. He could see no reason for Dog to be taken but to him it started to look like a real prospect. All he had to do now was find witnesses that had seen Dog leave Argyle’s side. The hip-hop men and the lady across the street are both viable.
“Argyle, do you take your normal route usually around the same time?”
Argyle nodded. Jarod could see an idea start to take form behind those eyes and before the other could open his mouth to let him know what it was he asked his next question, “Are the men usually here?”
Argyle gave the air a look again before finally coming up with an answer. “Naw, only Mondays, Wednesday and Thursdays. Could it be that they are involved? I knew it. The music they listen to, they have to be baddies…”
Jarod tuned Argyle’s voice out. It was late and he couldn’t do anything until he had spoken to the hip-hop men. He walked back towards where Argyle’s humble abode dwelled, hoping that this wasn’t going to take too long.
He wanted to be there when Miss Parker opened the final door.
**************
Miss Parker had finally managed to locate the source of the music. She lined her pistol to the box and smiled when she put a bullet into the box. It is with great satisfaction that she listened to the last dying words before the music finally stopped. She turned triumphantly towards Sydney when Jarod’s voice sounded from the ceiling.
“Naughty, Miss Parker. That wasn’t a nice thing to do.”
“Come out and I’ll show you what nice things I’ll do to you, Jarod,” she growled, giving a quick survey of the surrounding area. She had taken the ridiculous costume off as soon as she had stepped through the door. Now she was surrounded by puppets dressed in clothes from all over the world.
The speaker above her sighed, and Jarod’s voice continued as if she had not spoken; “Now you will just have to sing the chorus before you can exit.”
“After all, it’s a small world, Miss Parker.”
She shot out the speaker and felt better when the sparks showed her that the speaker was now a relic. She stomped down the path, kicking a Dutch puppet. She ignored Sydney and Broots, instead trying to figure out what Jarod’s game plan was with his latest stunt.
She stopped when the familiar grey steel door stood before her. A monitor stood above the door and she eyed the dark screen.
“What do you want, Jarod? Why are you doing this?” She questioned, tired of playing the game. The screen stayed silent like she knew it would. Focusing on her anger again, she stepped forward and touched the door. As if by magic, the monitor came to life, showing a smiling Jarod in an elf’s costume staring down at them.
“There are three puppets hiding away in the world. They represent each one of you. Find them and then only can you return.”
Miss Parker holstered her gun and turned, heading back into the room. She pointed to the east corner, instructing Broots to search there. She let Sydney take the western side and she took both sides closest to the monitor. An hour later they returned to the door, each clutching a puppet in hand. The puppets gave a good indication of them. She touched the door, wondering what Jarod had in mind.
“Well done, Miss Parker. The search for a self is something that you got to experience. I never had that luxury.”
Miss Parker rolled her eyes. Jarod’s “poor me” speech was not helping her blood pressure, nor the next command that the Pretender gave.
“But at least I get to have some fun, now that I’m out of the Centre. Let’s see this as an exercise in recapturing some aspects of my youth I never got to have. If you want out, I suggest you start singing.”
With a laugh, the monitor went dead. She dropped the puppet and pulled her gun, pointing it at the door. Sydney grabbed her arm, stopping her from pulling the trigger.
“We already tried that and it didn’t work, Parker.”
“I. Am. Not. Going. To. Sing.” She managed to grind out, her gaze daring Sydney to refute the statement.
“How do you suggest we get out of here?”
Frustrated, Parker let the gun sink slowly. “There has to be another way. If only Broots had not gotten the bright idea to pull the lever, we wouldn’t be here.” Her gaze withered the tech before refocusing on Sydney. “Jarod must have a back way, Syd. There is always a back door.”
“We had been all over this room. Did you by any chance see a door?”
“No.”
Miss Parker pointed at Broots, “You sing. This is all you’re doing.”
“Parker, I don’t think it will work with just Broots.”
“Let’s wait and see.”
Broots cleared his throat and with a shaky voice started to sing the chorus. Two minutes later his voice trailed to silence.
The door stayed shut.
Sydney watched as Parker turned and walked back the way they had come. Thirty minutes later she returned, and he didn’t say a word when she started to sing the chorus angrily and without finesse. He and Broots joined in and as they warmed up he started to enjoy it just a little bit. When the final words died away they heard the click of the lock as it disengaged. Swinging the door open, he wondered what Jarod had in store for them next, making sure in the process that he stayed out of Parker’s way.
A smile graced his lips when he saw what the next room represented.
It was a candy store.
**************
Still having fun? Let me know…;-)
Don’t expect much of a plot; this is just an exercise in comedy. I wanted to write something that will make me and others smile. The whole idea around MP and crew is to see how far I can push the envelope in terms of what she as a character will do in order to catch Jarod and of course, how far Jarod will go in order to annoy her. (Just a warning, maybe things will get really weird – I like Terry Pratchett – if my humor is anything to go by) ;-) P.S. For those aussies out there, read The Last Continent and you’d understand what I mean. And if you want, drop me a mail to discuss it… ;-)
So, for now, don’t expect Jarod and MP’s story to intertwine…BUT, who knows, maybe Dog will sniff the trio out and bring with him Jarod and Argyle. Mmm…in any case, hope you have fun reading this, it is not meant to by anything more than that.
Behind door number 2…
Jarod stood with Argyle by a lamppost on the corner of a street. Argyle was still using his deductive powers to explain the mystery away of why Dog had disappeared. He had no idea how Argyle’s brain worked and Jarod mused that it would take a team of specialists years to figure out. What normally constituted as logic just never seemed to surface with Argyle. The way he jumped from one idea to the next defied any deductive reasoning.
“Argyle, show to me exactly what you did,” Jarod interrupted just as Argyle was about to explain why aliens would want to abduct Dog.
“Oh, right, well,” Jarod watched as Argyle moved backwards ten steps. Then Argyle closed his eyes and breathed deep. Jarod stood and stared, wondering what the man is going to do next.
Then Argyle began, “Imagine Dog next to me, can you pretend that you’re seeing Dog, J-man?” Jarod nodded, not wanting to spoil the other’s moment. He was after all a pretender. Argyle cleared his throat, convinced that Jarod could now envision Dog walking next to him. He started a bold swagger, as he walked towards where Jarod stood.
“Here I was, walking and,” Argyle stood still, his hand next to his ear as he tilted his head and closed his eyes. Pointing to the right, he said, “over there were some guys that listened to some loud music, hip-huff or whatever they call the stuff, not like Elvis or Brown, not the same style…”
“Argyle…”
“Oh right, sorry J-man. Like I was saying, over there was this group of guys but I didn’t pay them a lot of attention. What I saw was this real babe. She wasn’t like Brigitte, you know the lady that wanted to kill me, oh no, she was sweet, she was nice. She walked across the street and me, being a normal, full-blooded male, could only admire her walk. See because I was so enthralled by her beauty, I almost walked into that lamppost. It was close man, real close or I would have had a shiner like you wouldn’t believe,” Argyle was about to explain further when Jarod asked him, “So that is when you noticed that Dog was gone.”
“Yeah man, right there. I looked down to explain to Dog, on account that Dog didn’t notice, that I had nearly walked into the lamp post. So what do you think, J-man? What happened to Dog?”
Argyle stared with a very trust- and hopeful look at Jarod as if Jarod had already figured out the whole mess and would bring Dog back immediately.
“When, exactly is the last time you saw Dog?” Jarod asked, hoping that Dog was about to appear behind a dumpster in the alley to the right.
“Oh, uh, I have to think about that one.” He looked upwards and to Jarod it was painful to watch the mental gears grind away in Argyle’s brain. After a minute Jarod was about to give up and continue with any of the other scenarios he had envisioned when Argyle took four careful steps backward.
“About here, J-man.”
So, Dog had managed to disappear in four steps. He took in his surroundings. To where the men had been was an open area of grass. The grass was a yellow brownish color and here and there he could see patches of ground in between the refuse that lay scattered over the field. There was a smallish bench and that is where the men must have sat or stood. Next to the open ground was an old colonial house, so rundown that he wondered why it had not been bulldozed. A small alley ran between the house and the next one. It was littered with old garbage. Across the road were houses in equal state of disrepair. For Dog to have disappeared he couldn’t have gone across the road. Argyle would have seen him, although Jarod wondered about that one. If Argyle was so “enthralled” by the lady, he doubted very much if Argyle would have noticed a bomb going off next to him. Convinced though that the least likely route for Dog was across the road, he concentrated on the area closest to them.
With Argyle following on his heels, he walked towards the alley. Looking down the alley, he could see another road on the other side. Stepping over the garbage, he made his way through the obstacles towards the other side of the alley. It opened on a better area than the one he left, but not by much. A busy thoroughfare intersected not far from where he had emerged. If Dog had been dog-napped, then the getaway car could have stood here. He did notice a few oil stains on the tar next to the pavement. When he touched it, he could feel the grit beneath his fingers. It was obviously an old car that haven’t been serviced recently, that had stood here.
“Did you find something J-man?”
“Maybe,” was Jarod’s answer. He made his way back down the alley and towards the park. He could see no reason for Dog to be taken but to him it started to look like a real prospect. All he had to do now was find witnesses that had seen Dog leave Argyle’s side. The hip-hop men and the lady across the street are both viable.
“Argyle, do you take your normal route usually around the same time?”
Argyle nodded. Jarod could see an idea start to take form behind those eyes and before the other could open his mouth to let him know what it was he asked his next question, “Are the men usually here?”
Argyle gave the air a look again before finally coming up with an answer. “Naw, only Mondays, Wednesday and Thursdays. Could it be that they are involved? I knew it. The music they listen to, they have to be baddies…”
Jarod tuned Argyle’s voice out. It was late and he couldn’t do anything until he had spoken to the hip-hop men. He walked back towards where Argyle’s humble abode dwelled, hoping that this wasn’t going to take too long.
He wanted to be there when Miss Parker opened the final door.
**************
Miss Parker had finally managed to locate the source of the music. She lined her pistol to the box and smiled when she put a bullet into the box. It is with great satisfaction that she listened to the last dying words before the music finally stopped. She turned triumphantly towards Sydney when Jarod’s voice sounded from the ceiling.
“Naughty, Miss Parker. That wasn’t a nice thing to do.”
“Come out and I’ll show you what nice things I’ll do to you, Jarod,” she growled, giving a quick survey of the surrounding area. She had taken the ridiculous costume off as soon as she had stepped through the door. Now she was surrounded by puppets dressed in clothes from all over the world.
The speaker above her sighed, and Jarod’s voice continued as if she had not spoken; “Now you will just have to sing the chorus before you can exit.”
“After all, it’s a small world, Miss Parker.”
She shot out the speaker and felt better when the sparks showed her that the speaker was now a relic. She stomped down the path, kicking a Dutch puppet. She ignored Sydney and Broots, instead trying to figure out what Jarod’s game plan was with his latest stunt.
She stopped when the familiar grey steel door stood before her. A monitor stood above the door and she eyed the dark screen.
“What do you want, Jarod? Why are you doing this?” She questioned, tired of playing the game. The screen stayed silent like she knew it would. Focusing on her anger again, she stepped forward and touched the door. As if by magic, the monitor came to life, showing a smiling Jarod in an elf’s costume staring down at them.
“There are three puppets hiding away in the world. They represent each one of you. Find them and then only can you return.”
Miss Parker holstered her gun and turned, heading back into the room. She pointed to the east corner, instructing Broots to search there. She let Sydney take the western side and she took both sides closest to the monitor. An hour later they returned to the door, each clutching a puppet in hand. The puppets gave a good indication of them. She touched the door, wondering what Jarod had in mind.
“Well done, Miss Parker. The search for a self is something that you got to experience. I never had that luxury.”
Miss Parker rolled her eyes. Jarod’s “poor me” speech was not helping her blood pressure, nor the next command that the Pretender gave.
“But at least I get to have some fun, now that I’m out of the Centre. Let’s see this as an exercise in recapturing some aspects of my youth I never got to have. If you want out, I suggest you start singing.”
With a laugh, the monitor went dead. She dropped the puppet and pulled her gun, pointing it at the door. Sydney grabbed her arm, stopping her from pulling the trigger.
“We already tried that and it didn’t work, Parker.”
“I. Am. Not. Going. To. Sing.” She managed to grind out, her gaze daring Sydney to refute the statement.
“How do you suggest we get out of here?”
Frustrated, Parker let the gun sink slowly. “There has to be another way. If only Broots had not gotten the bright idea to pull the lever, we wouldn’t be here.” Her gaze withered the tech before refocusing on Sydney. “Jarod must have a back way, Syd. There is always a back door.”
“We had been all over this room. Did you by any chance see a door?”
“No.”
Miss Parker pointed at Broots, “You sing. This is all you’re doing.”
“Parker, I don’t think it will work with just Broots.”
“Let’s wait and see.”
Broots cleared his throat and with a shaky voice started to sing the chorus. Two minutes later his voice trailed to silence.
The door stayed shut.
Sydney watched as Parker turned and walked back the way they had come. Thirty minutes later she returned, and he didn’t say a word when she started to sing the chorus angrily and without finesse. He and Broots joined in and as they warmed up he started to enjoy it just a little bit. When the final words died away they heard the click of the lock as it disengaged. Swinging the door open, he wondered what Jarod had in store for them next, making sure in the process that he stayed out of Parker’s way.
A smile graced his lips when he saw what the next room represented.
It was a candy store.
**************
Still having fun? Let me know…;-)
