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Chapter or Story 
Chapter or Story
Disclaimer: Do any of us really own anything? Can anyone claim to possess the lives of these characters that we hold so dear? You betcha. But it isn't me. Don't own them. Just borrowing them. This is just my feeble attempt to keep the Pretender alive and well until we finally get to find him again on DVD release. If anyone tries to sue, I'll disavow all knowledge.
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The Straight Path Lost Part 6
By Phenyx
07/04/04
-
Jack did his best not to squirm. His butt was sore and tingling from resting on the linoleum for too long but he didn't want to wake Jarod. Jack wasn't sure how long they'd been sitting there, alone in the dark. He knew only that he had cried for a long time, the pain ripping from him until he had fallen into an exhausted slumber. Now his eyes were puffy and the skin on his face felt tight as salt from dried tears stiffened his pores.
Yet despite his physical discomfort, Jack wanted nothing more than to stay exactly were he was at this moment. He felt safe wrapped in Jarod's strong arms; precious and protected in a way no one else could make him feel. Jarod was the only one who could make Jack feel real, like a person in his own right.
It was rather ironic. For as long as Jack could recollect, this man had haunted his nightmares. Taught by Mr. Raines to hate and fear Jarod, Jack had been terrified when they had first met. But Jarod had been patient and kind, delicately easing Jack into the knowledge of his incredible origins. There had been no accusation in Jarod's tone, no expectation in his eyes.
There had been only an earnest vow. "You come from here," Jarod had said, splaying his hand over his own heart. "And I come from two people who love me very much."
Within a matter of hours, Jarod had been able to unravel the years of deception that Raines had built. In had been easy, for Jack inherently trusted his sire. He could find no reason to fear the gentle pretender with the kind, dark eyes. But in his years under Raines' tutelage, Jack had gained far too much experience with the wheezing doctor's capacity for cruelty. Choosing between them had been a simple task.
Jack was unable to suppress the shudder that accompanied the thoughts of his old keeper. In his sleep, Jarod registered the motion with a sigh and a gentle caress of one hand across the back of Jack's head. The boy closed his eyes and savored the purity of the sensation.
Jarod loved him, of that Jack had no doubt. It was a love unlike the affection he received from the rest of their family. In his mother and father, Jack sensed a transference of feeling more than a unique love. They had lost a little boy and, in Jarod, found a man, a stranger. Subconsciously, Jack's age made him easier to accept as the child they had been searching for.
Jack didn't blame them. He wasn't really their son and he knew it. Yet he gladly accepted whatever affection the family could give him, even if it was only the overflow of emotion that they felt for Jarod.
In the eyes of the newer members of their group, Sydney, Miss Parker and Mr. Broots, Jack saw himself as an oddity, a scientific curiosity that they found amazing. Again, feelings for Jarod and the boy he had once been, translated into an automatic acceptance of Jack. It had not taken long for Jack to understand whom Miss Parker had been referring to when they had first met.
But with Jarod, Jack found unconditional love, absolute acceptance. Only after they had been reunited for some time, had Jack begun to comprehend the true scale of Jarod's devotion. It had taken that long for the boy to gain some glimpse of the life Jarod had been forced to lead.
For every year that Jack had been locked away, Jarod had suffered more than twice as long. Jack, like Jarod, had been forced to do simulations for as long as he could remember. But the younger twin had been yanked from that world before being shipped off to the Triumvirate. Jarod had not been so lucky. No one had come to his aid. The worst of the tortures Jarod had been subjected to had not occurred until he'd reached physical maturity. Jack, on the other hand, had been spared that pain.
Jack's nightmares, guilt and self-recrimination were surely magnified in Jarod. Jarod knew exactly what horrific things the Centre had forced Jack to do. He knew what depths Jack would sink to in order to find approval. Jarod knew, yet he did not judge. He knew because he had lived the same life, felt the same self-doubt.
Despite the things Jack had done, the lives he had been responsible for ending, Jarod still found the boy worthy of something so precious as love. For Jack, it was nothing short of a miracle. In the simple act of caring for him, Jarod had given the boy a sense of value in his own individuality.
Jack repaid the older pretender in the only way he could, with unadulterated adoration. The boy worshiped Jarod, wanting nothing more than to please his elder twin. Jack often wondered if his relationship with Jarod was like that of a son to his father. He didn't know. He'd had no past experience to use as a comparison.
Jarod was often a mentor, directing Jack to the best resources for learning as well as patiently teaching him the things that he wouldn't find in any book. But Jarod never disciplined the inquisitive boy, leaving that paternal task to the major. Jack was never intentionally disobedient, but he knew that at times, he pushed the family's rules to the limit. Emotionally, he felt forced to test the boundaries of his position in the lives of those around him.
"Are you hungry?" Jarod's sleep roughened voice jerked the boy from his reverie.
"No," Jack answered.
Jarod's arms tightened, pulling the boy into a warm hug. Jack sighed in contentment. Physical displays of affection such as this were few and far between for them. For years, each had been taught only isolation. The act of reaching out to another human being had always been discouraged, sometimes punished. Overcoming those instilled reservations wasn't easy.
Placing one hand against Jack's crown, Jarod tucked the boy's head beneath his chin with a sigh. The sound was heavy and forlorn, making Jack frown in consternation. "What is it?" the boy asked.
"Nothing," Jarod answered. "It's nothing to worry about."
Jack sensed the unspoken word that lingered between them and gave it voice. "Yet," he added.
Jarod nodded. "Yet," he agreed.
"They are going to come after us, aren't they?" the youngster said.
"Yes."
"When?" Jack asked.
"Soon," Jarod admitted. "My name made the J.T.T.F. most wanted list this afternoon."
"We were better off with just the sweepers on our tail," Jack groaned. "The National Joint Terrorist Task Force has a lot more resources at its disposal."
"Unfortunately," Jarod said with a sigh.
Jack felt his lower lip trembling as tears built again in his throat. "It will never be over. Will it, Jarod?"
"I'm afraid not."
"We'll be running for the rest of our lives," Jack predicted.
Jarod took the boy's smooth face between his palms and gazed intently into the matching brown eyes. "I will," he said in a serious tone. "But I don't think it has to be both of us."
Wide young eyes looked up at Jarod in wonder. "I don't understand," Jack whispered.
"References to the pretender project are all over the Centre mainframe," Jarod explained. "You can't spit in that place without coming across some file or memo regarding the pretenders. The authorities couldn't miss the information regarding me and those like me."
Jarod tilted Jack's chin up tenderly as he continued. "But Gemini was top secret. Very few people were involved. There's little in the system about it or Donoterase. After the infiltration at Pakor, evidence of the project was destroyed to cover their tracks."
"I don't think the feds will ever know you exist." Jarod said fiercely. Pulling Jack close once more, Jarod went on, "They can't prove anything anyway. Fingerprints, blood tests even DSA's will all point to me, not you."
"You're going to leave me behind!" Jack cried, jumping to his feet with sudden distress.
"Jack," Jarod crooned sadly as he rose from the floor. "A life in the shadows is no kind of life for a child."
"I'm no child," Jack snapped. "I can help."
"I don't doubt that you could," Jarod said. "But I won't let you."
"But, I need you." Jack gasped.
Jarod blinked away the moisture building in his eyes. "I need you too, Jack," he said as he grabbed the boy gently by the arms. "I need you to live the life that I can never have. I need you to have friends and go to school and discover girls like other young men do. I need you to have a home, to find love, to have the children that will never be mine."
"No," Jack whispered. "I want to go with you." He swiped roughly at the dampness on his cheeks, abruptly angry with himself for being such a crybaby tonight.
"Jack," Jarod frowned, shaking the boy softly. "My life is gone, taken away from me ages ago. But you still have a chance. Don't degrade everything I've fought for by tossing away the very hope I've always clung to."
Jack sniffed, rubbing his nose on one sleeve. "That's low," he said with woeful resignation. "You sure don't pull any punches, do you?"
"No," Jarod replied. "Not when the stakes are this high."
"What will you tell Mom and Dad?" the boy asked.
"The truth, "Jarod answered with a shrug. "Lord knows they deserve some semblance of normalcy after all these years. Emily will finally know what it means to have a home."
"What about you, Jarod?" Jack gazed at the older pretender intensely. "When will you find a home?"
With a sad smile, Jarod cupped his younger twin's cheek in his palm. "I'll visit. And I'll call every chance I get. I'm going to live vicariously through my little brother, so be prepared to share details, buddy."
"At least you won't be alone," Jack said thoughtfully. "You will have to take the others with you."
Jarod nodded. "The three of them had high profiles within the Centre's power structure. They will be pursued rather intensely." Looking down at the boy, Jarod continued. "This will be hardest on Debbie. I'm not sure she fully understands the situation."
"You'll have to leave her here," Jack said.
If Jarod felt any astonishment at the similar lines of thought between him and his clone, he did not show it. "A life in the shadows is no kind of life for a child," Jarod repeated with a nod. "She will need a friend to help her through this, someone who can understand how it feels to be alone."
"I understand," Jack said quietly.
"I know you do," Jarod said. "And I'm counting on you to be there for her."
Jack looked up at the man who was so important to him. The boy's eyes pooled again as he thought of how little time they had left together. "It's not fair," Jack sniffled.
"As Miss Parker is so fond of reminding us," Jarod replied. "Life is seldom fair."
Throwing his arms around the taller man, Jack pressed his cheek against Jarod's shoulder. "It hurts," the boy said.
"Yes, it does."
Jack felt the strong arms tighten around him once more and he squeezed back with all his might. The injustice of it all overwhelmed him and Jack suddenly had an incredible urge to protect his favorite protector. In his mind he began to flip through scenarios, fantastic ideas for hiding Jarod in an attic or a cellar. Jack knew that he would gladly die to keep Jarod safe. If it came down to it, the boy knew he would kill if Jarod were to ever ask it of him.
It was at this thought that Jack realized he would let go. He would allow Jarod to walk away because that is what the pretender had decided was best. Jack would swallow his pain and bury his sorrow, knowing that Jarod would struggle to do the same.
Jack would take Debbie under his wing and look after her to the best of his ability. He would go to school and make an effort to fit in. Jack would take this gift that Jarod had given him, and he would cherish the future that had been won for him at so high a price.
"I'll miss you, big brother," Jack rasped.
Jarod nodded. "Be happy, little brother."
"I'll try," the boy said. "I'll make you proud of me."
"I know," Jarod answered. "I'm sure of it."
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The Straight Path Lost Part 6
By Phenyx
07/04/04
-
Jack did his best not to squirm. His butt was sore and tingling from resting on the linoleum for too long but he didn't want to wake Jarod. Jack wasn't sure how long they'd been sitting there, alone in the dark. He knew only that he had cried for a long time, the pain ripping from him until he had fallen into an exhausted slumber. Now his eyes were puffy and the skin on his face felt tight as salt from dried tears stiffened his pores.
Yet despite his physical discomfort, Jack wanted nothing more than to stay exactly were he was at this moment. He felt safe wrapped in Jarod's strong arms; precious and protected in a way no one else could make him feel. Jarod was the only one who could make Jack feel real, like a person in his own right.
It was rather ironic. For as long as Jack could recollect, this man had haunted his nightmares. Taught by Mr. Raines to hate and fear Jarod, Jack had been terrified when they had first met. But Jarod had been patient and kind, delicately easing Jack into the knowledge of his incredible origins. There had been no accusation in Jarod's tone, no expectation in his eyes.
There had been only an earnest vow. "You come from here," Jarod had said, splaying his hand over his own heart. "And I come from two people who love me very much."
Within a matter of hours, Jarod had been able to unravel the years of deception that Raines had built. In had been easy, for Jack inherently trusted his sire. He could find no reason to fear the gentle pretender with the kind, dark eyes. But in his years under Raines' tutelage, Jack had gained far too much experience with the wheezing doctor's capacity for cruelty. Choosing between them had been a simple task.
Jack was unable to suppress the shudder that accompanied the thoughts of his old keeper. In his sleep, Jarod registered the motion with a sigh and a gentle caress of one hand across the back of Jack's head. The boy closed his eyes and savored the purity of the sensation.
Jarod loved him, of that Jack had no doubt. It was a love unlike the affection he received from the rest of their family. In his mother and father, Jack sensed a transference of feeling more than a unique love. They had lost a little boy and, in Jarod, found a man, a stranger. Subconsciously, Jack's age made him easier to accept as the child they had been searching for.
Jack didn't blame them. He wasn't really their son and he knew it. Yet he gladly accepted whatever affection the family could give him, even if it was only the overflow of emotion that they felt for Jarod.
In the eyes of the newer members of their group, Sydney, Miss Parker and Mr. Broots, Jack saw himself as an oddity, a scientific curiosity that they found amazing. Again, feelings for Jarod and the boy he had once been, translated into an automatic acceptance of Jack. It had not taken long for Jack to understand whom Miss Parker had been referring to when they had first met.
But with Jarod, Jack found unconditional love, absolute acceptance. Only after they had been reunited for some time, had Jack begun to comprehend the true scale of Jarod's devotion. It had taken that long for the boy to gain some glimpse of the life Jarod had been forced to lead.
For every year that Jack had been locked away, Jarod had suffered more than twice as long. Jack, like Jarod, had been forced to do simulations for as long as he could remember. But the younger twin had been yanked from that world before being shipped off to the Triumvirate. Jarod had not been so lucky. No one had come to his aid. The worst of the tortures Jarod had been subjected to had not occurred until he'd reached physical maturity. Jack, on the other hand, had been spared that pain.
Jack's nightmares, guilt and self-recrimination were surely magnified in Jarod. Jarod knew exactly what horrific things the Centre had forced Jack to do. He knew what depths Jack would sink to in order to find approval. Jarod knew, yet he did not judge. He knew because he had lived the same life, felt the same self-doubt.
Despite the things Jack had done, the lives he had been responsible for ending, Jarod still found the boy worthy of something so precious as love. For Jack, it was nothing short of a miracle. In the simple act of caring for him, Jarod had given the boy a sense of value in his own individuality.
Jack repaid the older pretender in the only way he could, with unadulterated adoration. The boy worshiped Jarod, wanting nothing more than to please his elder twin. Jack often wondered if his relationship with Jarod was like that of a son to his father. He didn't know. He'd had no past experience to use as a comparison.
Jarod was often a mentor, directing Jack to the best resources for learning as well as patiently teaching him the things that he wouldn't find in any book. But Jarod never disciplined the inquisitive boy, leaving that paternal task to the major. Jack was never intentionally disobedient, but he knew that at times, he pushed the family's rules to the limit. Emotionally, he felt forced to test the boundaries of his position in the lives of those around him.
"Are you hungry?" Jarod's sleep roughened voice jerked the boy from his reverie.
"No," Jack answered.
Jarod's arms tightened, pulling the boy into a warm hug. Jack sighed in contentment. Physical displays of affection such as this were few and far between for them. For years, each had been taught only isolation. The act of reaching out to another human being had always been discouraged, sometimes punished. Overcoming those instilled reservations wasn't easy.
Placing one hand against Jack's crown, Jarod tucked the boy's head beneath his chin with a sigh. The sound was heavy and forlorn, making Jack frown in consternation. "What is it?" the boy asked.
"Nothing," Jarod answered. "It's nothing to worry about."
Jack sensed the unspoken word that lingered between them and gave it voice. "Yet," he added.
Jarod nodded. "Yet," he agreed.
"They are going to come after us, aren't they?" the youngster said.
"Yes."
"When?" Jack asked.
"Soon," Jarod admitted. "My name made the J.T.T.F. most wanted list this afternoon."
"We were better off with just the sweepers on our tail," Jack groaned. "The National Joint Terrorist Task Force has a lot more resources at its disposal."
"Unfortunately," Jarod said with a sigh.
Jack felt his lower lip trembling as tears built again in his throat. "It will never be over. Will it, Jarod?"
"I'm afraid not."
"We'll be running for the rest of our lives," Jack predicted.
Jarod took the boy's smooth face between his palms and gazed intently into the matching brown eyes. "I will," he said in a serious tone. "But I don't think it has to be both of us."
Wide young eyes looked up at Jarod in wonder. "I don't understand," Jack whispered.
"References to the pretender project are all over the Centre mainframe," Jarod explained. "You can't spit in that place without coming across some file or memo regarding the pretenders. The authorities couldn't miss the information regarding me and those like me."
Jarod tilted Jack's chin up tenderly as he continued. "But Gemini was top secret. Very few people were involved. There's little in the system about it or Donoterase. After the infiltration at Pakor, evidence of the project was destroyed to cover their tracks."
"I don't think the feds will ever know you exist." Jarod said fiercely. Pulling Jack close once more, Jarod went on, "They can't prove anything anyway. Fingerprints, blood tests even DSA's will all point to me, not you."
"You're going to leave me behind!" Jack cried, jumping to his feet with sudden distress.
"Jack," Jarod crooned sadly as he rose from the floor. "A life in the shadows is no kind of life for a child."
"I'm no child," Jack snapped. "I can help."
"I don't doubt that you could," Jarod said. "But I won't let you."
"But, I need you." Jack gasped.
Jarod blinked away the moisture building in his eyes. "I need you too, Jack," he said as he grabbed the boy gently by the arms. "I need you to live the life that I can never have. I need you to have friends and go to school and discover girls like other young men do. I need you to have a home, to find love, to have the children that will never be mine."
"No," Jack whispered. "I want to go with you." He swiped roughly at the dampness on his cheeks, abruptly angry with himself for being such a crybaby tonight.
"Jack," Jarod frowned, shaking the boy softly. "My life is gone, taken away from me ages ago. But you still have a chance. Don't degrade everything I've fought for by tossing away the very hope I've always clung to."
Jack sniffed, rubbing his nose on one sleeve. "That's low," he said with woeful resignation. "You sure don't pull any punches, do you?"
"No," Jarod replied. "Not when the stakes are this high."
"What will you tell Mom and Dad?" the boy asked.
"The truth, "Jarod answered with a shrug. "Lord knows they deserve some semblance of normalcy after all these years. Emily will finally know what it means to have a home."
"What about you, Jarod?" Jack gazed at the older pretender intensely. "When will you find a home?"
With a sad smile, Jarod cupped his younger twin's cheek in his palm. "I'll visit. And I'll call every chance I get. I'm going to live vicariously through my little brother, so be prepared to share details, buddy."
"At least you won't be alone," Jack said thoughtfully. "You will have to take the others with you."
Jarod nodded. "The three of them had high profiles within the Centre's power structure. They will be pursued rather intensely." Looking down at the boy, Jarod continued. "This will be hardest on Debbie. I'm not sure she fully understands the situation."
"You'll have to leave her here," Jack said.
If Jarod felt any astonishment at the similar lines of thought between him and his clone, he did not show it. "A life in the shadows is no kind of life for a child," Jarod repeated with a nod. "She will need a friend to help her through this, someone who can understand how it feels to be alone."
"I understand," Jack said quietly.
"I know you do," Jarod said. "And I'm counting on you to be there for her."
Jack looked up at the man who was so important to him. The boy's eyes pooled again as he thought of how little time they had left together. "It's not fair," Jack sniffled.
"As Miss Parker is so fond of reminding us," Jarod replied. "Life is seldom fair."
Throwing his arms around the taller man, Jack pressed his cheek against Jarod's shoulder. "It hurts," the boy said.
"Yes, it does."
Jack felt the strong arms tighten around him once more and he squeezed back with all his might. The injustice of it all overwhelmed him and Jack suddenly had an incredible urge to protect his favorite protector. In his mind he began to flip through scenarios, fantastic ideas for hiding Jarod in an attic or a cellar. Jack knew that he would gladly die to keep Jarod safe. If it came down to it, the boy knew he would kill if Jarod were to ever ask it of him.
It was at this thought that Jack realized he would let go. He would allow Jarod to walk away because that is what the pretender had decided was best. Jack would swallow his pain and bury his sorrow, knowing that Jarod would struggle to do the same.
Jack would take Debbie under his wing and look after her to the best of his ability. He would go to school and make an effort to fit in. Jack would take this gift that Jarod had given him, and he would cherish the future that had been won for him at so high a price.
"I'll miss you, big brother," Jack rasped.
Jarod nodded. "Be happy, little brother."
"I'll try," the boy said. "I'll make you proud of me."
"I know," Jarod answered. "I'm sure of it."
