Table of Contents [Report This]
Author's note: Hi all! This is my first attempt at fan fiction of any sort, but reading your great stories inspired me to grab a keyboard, too. This story might get a sequel if I have the time. Pretty please with a cherry on top, r&r. (Yeah, I'm a Farscape fan, too.)
Warning: strong words have been used. Also the sexual content and slight (?) angst make me set the bar at NC-18. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: The characters used herein are not mine, except for the character Lea. I do not own the Pretender and no infringement is intended. I'm making no money, so please don't sue me. The intention is only to provide some possible entertainment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Nexus series: Part one.
By Sofy
Jarod stuck the gun between her ribs and felt her stiffen. Her muscles flexed to react to the threat and he was satisfied with her reaction because it was exactly what he was going for.
"This is a gun and I will use it if I must. So, play along and don't give me any reason to pull the trigger."
His voice was low and calm as he tried to convince her to stay still and quiet. He still had to find out who she really was: had the Centre her on its payroll or was she only an innocent bystander who was at the wrong place at the very wrong time? He checked her quickly for a gun and hid his in a jacket pocket.
"Let's go." Jarod looked around and saw no one. Luckily, they were in a more secluded part of the park. He seized her arm and walked her towards his car.
He didn't quite understand what had just happened. The sweeper team had done what he had anticipated and walked straight into the trap he had set up in the park but she was something else. He knew the sweepers had been sent by Mr. Lyle but she was an enigma. Jarod hadn't seen her before, although he knew that it didn't prove anything. She had first followed him on the street and then she had been blocking his escape and very efficiently, too, because he had nowhere else to run without her knowing about it. She had had the advantage of higher ground on her side, so to speak, and she had looked like she was waiting for something.
It was no time for him to take any chances. He swiftly decided to stick to his original plan with the one exception that he would take her along. After all, she could possibly provide him some new information about what the Centre was up to and it's always important to know one's enemies. Maybe she could be turned against the Centre, although he was being realistic with the odds for that being very low.
Lea felt his powerful hands around her waist, like he was searching for something. The situation was so sudden that she was too dazed to resist him. She had been on her way to have dinner with her best friend when she had first noticed him. He had been on the other side of the street looking in her general direction and she was instantly swept away by his good looks. A quick glance at her watch told her that she was running early and so she had followed him to the park, especially since it didn't add that many yards to her walk. There was something in him that captivated her.
Just shortly after she had first seen him images filled her mind, as if she had been with him in an intimate way. Those images felt like memories of an actual thing that had happened, but she was sure that she had never seen him before or that, at least, she had never been with him before. The quasi-memories were something she had never felt before and so she just had to follow him further. *I have lots of time before dinner.* Maybe the images were telling her that it was her destiny, she thought. *Or some weird fucked up version of it.*
Now that she was walking in his grip, she couldn't control even her thoughts. *The things I do to get my share of hot males. Just one more look, what's the harm in that.. Yeah, what?* And she made a mental note not to listen to herself anymore. *Great, I just had to see a gorgeous man and to steal one look too many.* She hadn't seen him looking at her since the cursory glance on the street, but the images in her mind made her feel the familiar longing inside her.
When they approached his Ford, the confusion finally disappeared and she attempted to escape. While Jarod reached to open the door, she tried to yank her right hand free from his hold, but it didn't work; it was like he was waiting for it. He shoved her in the backseat and took out his gun, which made her freeze. Keeping it trained on her, he reached for the glove compartment and emerged at her side with a syringe. Before she even opened her mouth to object to the sight, he had administered the injection.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
She woke up chained to a bedpost. Her head hurt and her mouth was dry, but after painfully opening her eyes, she saw a glass of water with a straw on the nightstand. She crawled as close to the glass as her shackles allowed and took a sip. Then she allowed her eyes to close again. When she felt that the room had stopped spinning -or maybe it was her head, to her it didn't matter- she opened her eyes again and inspected the small room she had been confined to. When her gaze reached the other side of the bed she took a sharp breath. *It's him! He's here.* She didn't know whether it was a good sign or a bad one.
Jarod had waited for her to stir for half an hour. A part of him was feeling extremely guilty for kidnapping a possibly innocent woman but another part felt strange pride for this unexpected change of plans: she might work for the Centre. But yet another feeling was present and this one was getting stronger every minute. As he had carried her from the car and reviewed her features, his brain was telling him that there was something familiar with her.
He really wasn't waiting for those images and so they shocked him quite a bit. His years in the Centre might not have been easy but at least he remembered them, except for this. He knew that those things had never happened because then he would never have forgotten them in the first place. And no male would forget something like that.
He knew how her bare skin felt, how warm it was and how good it felt beneath his fingertips. He had been with her, so close to her. He quickly shut out those images when she had begun to wake but they left him feeling aroused.
Fortunately, his interest in her turned to a less intimate one and he did manage to calm his breath and compose himself.
"Do you work for the Centre?" his voice was calm and stern yet it had a slightly friendly undertone. He leaned back casually in his seat and waited for her reaction. He had learned a long time ago that reactions could tell their own truth behind the spoken words.
She tried to focus her stare on him and blinked twice after the question. The words she had heard meant nothing and all she was able to do was stare at him blankly.
Her shivering caught his eye and he decided to give the sedative some more time to wear off. The use of drugs really wasn't his style but under the circumstances he was glad to have been prepared. She might not had anything to do with the sweepers but the images that kept popping into his head told him that there was something special in her.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"This is Sydney."
"It would be nice to be left alone for a change. No more running, hiding and evading sweepers."
"Mr. Lyle had a phone call from someone directly. Immediately after he hung up, he dispatched a sweeper team to coordinates he didn't feel like sharing with Miss Parker."
"Who was this mysterious informant?"
"We don't know."
"Talking about the Centre, how many times have they tried to brainwash me?"
The question caught Sydney a bit off-guard. "What do you mean? They never used brainwashing in the Pretender project. You were far too valuable to be subjected to something that could destroy your abilities."
"Oh, were we now? Because I seem to have memories of things that have never happened. How else would it be possible?"
Sydney tried to organize the information in his mind.
"As I recall, there was a project called Nexus. A young girl was in the Pretender project but she hadn't enough potential, at least according to Mr. Raines. So she was assigned to another project called Nexus. The goal was to implant her mind with memories and feelings which would surface again in adulthood."
"For what purpose?"
"The implanted memories and feelings were by nature such that they could be triggered by the mere sighting of a pretender. The memories would then raise interest towards the sighted pretender and create behavior that leads to procreation. But the girl was for some reason given to foster parents and Nexus hasn't been mentioned ever since. I assumed the project was a failure."
"She wasn't the only one in the project. I was in it, too, wasn't I?"
The older man contemplated for a second. "I'm not sure. Nexus was Raines' project, but it is possible that he used you in it, although I was never informed about such plans. The procedure was subtle and left no traces... Have you met her?"
"I think so. I have some vivid memories of her, memories I never had before... How can I forget them?"
Sydney heard a hint of desperation in his voice but he decided it was better not to confront him about it.
"You can't. They are like any memories, they fade only with time. But the feelings they gave should be more easily affected." He knew his answer wasn't one Jarod wanted to hear but he had always relied on his protégé's abilities to make the best of the sometimes-limited knowledge he had.
"Does she feel it, too?"
"It is possible if the project has indeed succeeded."
"I would definitely categorize this as brainwashing." And he hung up.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Now she felt as lucid as ever. The drug had worn off and she thought of her options, which was the only thing she could do considering she was chained to a bed. She had felt guilt mixed in with his determination. When she was younger she had found out that she had an ability to sense what others were feeling, but she tried not to use it too much because to her it was like invading their privacy. This time she had felt his quiet desperation even without reaching out to him.
Jarod reached for the door but he couldn't bring himself to open it. She had been in the Centre, she had been in the Pretender project and now she was behind that particular door, waiting for an explanation. And all he really wanted to do was to go in and ravish her. Well, all his body wanted to do, anyway, his brain was still in the process of trying to regain the control of his body. *It's now or never.*
The door opened and he slipped in. She had already determined that today it would be okay to violate this man's privacy; after all he was a kidnapper, albeit a very gorgeous one. She looked at him intently and concentrated: Pain, anger, guilt, desperation, determination, lust; everything he was feeling at that very moment. It was a mess and she saw it in his eyes, too.
He picked up a chair and moved it closer to the bed and then sat down. Despite the circumstances his voice was surprisingly calm. "Everything's okay. My name is Jarod and I have something to tell you."
He told her about a corporation called the Centre and then he explained the facts he had learned from Sydney about her past and waited for a reaction. She could've still been the mysterious informant who had called Mr. Lyle.
"I was adopted. I don't remember anything from my childhood." Those were the first words he heard her say. He thought that all the information was a bit too much for her to handle but she had quietly absorbed everything. He might have been the Great Pretender but she had the potential, too, and she was raised in a world filled with influences and stimuli. She was almost his equal although neither of them was aware of it. She had always had the feeling that she could do almost anything if she only put her effort in it. And now, the story he told her had filled in the blanks.
He had kept her chained. Partly because he didn't know her, they could've implanted also other, more dangerous memories in her mind, and partly because he feared that if he got closer to her he would lose all control over his body. He didn't want to give in to the feelings created by the Centre and he didn't want to attack a possibly innocent woman.
She was aware of his predicament since he had told her some details of the Nexus project, and it was all so clear to her. The only way to rid the feelings that shouldn't have been there.. the only thing that was wrong with the plan she was formulating was his innocence. She really didn't want him to believe that he was hurting her but in her opinion this was the only way and now was the only time to make her plan work.
Jarod began to suspect that she didn't understand the implications of his story but just then her eyes grew wider and she started gasping for air. Clearly, she was starting to panic.
"You mean that I was taken, when I was little? And they let me go? And they experimented on me?! But how.. how do you know?!"
"It's okay. You're safe now. Just breathe and relax." He wanted to help her, to hold her so she could calm down, but the more he thought about being near her, the more he just wanted her. Now it didn't even matter to him that she was in shock and clearly quite disoriented.
He could see the tears and the helplessness in her gray eyes when suddenly her expression changed. "You.. You're one of them! You're going to take me back there!" Her voice was filled with fear.
She saw him standing up and closing the distance between the bed and the chair. He was wearing black jeans and a black T-shirt, which really did his body justice. *Shit, could a man _be_ any hotter?* Deciding it would fit the scene, she tried to get as far away from him as possible but she could reach only the other side of the bed. *God, how much I want him.* He grabbed her shoulders so she would stop trembling and she indeed tensed under his touch. Reaching out to him with all her senses and concentrating, she knew that he would lose control soon, as would she.
"Get away from me. I have a life. I don't want to be anyone's lab rat!" She spat the words at him and tried to squirm from his grip while pretending that she was mustering the courage to defend herself.
"Listen.." He tightened his grip so he could make his point but her squirming had now brought her directly beneath him. His brain registered the danger that lied in this but by then it was too late.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Every rational thought in his head had now been shoved aside and the Centre programming took him over. The change was so obvious that all she needed to do to notice it was to look in his eyes, which were now almost black with raw need. She only hoped that she was able to stay in control long enough and that it wouldn't be for nothing. *Well... here we go, finally.*
He lowered his body onto hers so that she couldn't fight back but some of his weight was still on his hands, which he had placed right next to her body. His lips bruised hers and his tongue invaded her mouth exploring it thoroughly. Then he lifted her shirt up and let his left hand roam on her body. When he had explored her breasts with his hand he broke the almost one-sided kiss and continued the exploration with his lips, tongue and teeth.
His weight felt so good on her, it made him feel real and it reminded her that that was one fine specimen of mankind on her. *Please, fuck me already.* His assault on her flesh heightened her arousal so that she had to clench her fists into tight balls in order to concentrate on something else than what he was doing to her. This was a treatment she couldn't bear much longer. She wondered if he would notice were she to enjoy herself. Fortunately for her -and in a way, for both of them- he was the more impatient one.
He somehow managed to unbutton and unzip her jeans between his attacks on her already bruised lips and mauled nipples. Somewhere deep in his subconscious mind he wondered why she didn't fight him when he tugged her jeans and panties down and off completely, but that train of thought stopped immediately in its tracks. He slipped his finger inside her.
*Damn, man. Quit with the games and take me.* She wanted him inside her, she needed him. Every nerve ending in her body wanted to be touched by him when she felt him hard against her. *C'mon, release the beast.*
Her world almost ended when he pulled away from her but she heard him struggle with his own clothes this time. When his warm, half-naked body leaned in closer again, she surprised how smoothly he managed to slide into her. And how well he filled her. She didn't have much experience with these things but her body told her that this wasn't something ordinary. Sure, he was a tall man and.. well, everything was in proportion to that.
His hot breath tickled her ear but she had decided that she wouldn't move. Her concentration had to be directed at some task and this was as big a task as she could handle right now, literally. He picked up the pace and she knew that she would come soon. The mere idea of that man on her, inside her, with his strong, taut muscles touching her body all over while he moved and the low moans he emitted got her on the verge and his rhythmical thrusts finally made her come. Only a few thrusts later, he exploded in her body and collapsed on her.
With every breath that Jarod took, his thoughts became more controlled. It didn't take too long for him to realize what had just happened. He had actually attacked her. His mind now trying to find some way to handle this, he glanced at her and found himself staring at her almost peaceful gray eyes. He made his move, rushed his jeans on and bolted to the bathroom.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The expression on his face almost broke her heart and so she was strangely relieved to see him heading for the bathroom door and not the front door. After taking a while to allow her to catch her breath and to process what actually had just happened, she wiggled her shirt back down and covered her lower body with the blanket on the bed.
"Jarod, I am so sorry. I didn't want to do this to you. Please come out," she was pleading to him. There was no answer.
"I know that you think that you've hurt me, but you haven't. Please, believe me. I just couldn't tell you." She waited, but there was no answer.
"I wanted you, too. I just thought that this was the only way to.. " *How am I ever going to explain this?* " I wanted this to happen. I never said 'no'." Her voice began to break.
She waited a while and then shut the world outside and concentrated, but this time she got nothing; it was like he didn't exist. It seemed like her plan had failed miserably and that she had destroyed a good man for nothing. Tears filled her eyes.
Sitting on the bathroom floor his limbs sprawled over the floor tiles, shame began mixing in with his guilt. He had done exactly what the Centre wanted him to do and he had enjoyed it at the time he had done it. *She was defenseless and I took advantage of her. I couldn't resist the Centre.* Yet, in all the desperation, some detail kept nagging at him, some little thing he couldn't pinpoint.
*How can she even talk to me? After what I just did to her.* He heard her soft voice call out to him again, but he didn't want to hear the words. *What in the world is she talking about?* Jarod might have felt horrible about his actions but his mind could never leave a puzzle unsolved. Breaking out the heavy artillery with this particular brainteaser, he simmed her.
It took him a moment to grasp that she had most likely done the same exact thing earlier. *Talk about a nagging little detail!* She did have the potential and even though she probably was unaware of her talent, her instincts had simply taken over. He considered the implications for a moment and collected himself from the floor. He got up and opened the door quietly, vaguely unsure of the validity of his reasoning.
He picked up a key from the small table and proceeded to open the handcuffs. She hadn't even noticed his presence before his hand brushed hers. He sat on the bed and glanced at her shyly while she covered herself better with the blanket and straightened her wavy hair.
"I think I know what you were trying to do." His voice was quiet but carefully optimistic.
"Yeah, but did it work?" She gave him a warm smile after she had sensed that he was going to be okay.
She hoped that the implanted feelings and memories had now given way to the more recent ones and since they were a bit on the drastic side, maybe the older ones would be gone for good. If they were lucky, that was all it took. *Not that I have anything against what just happened, but it would be nicer if that happened slightly more voluntarily.*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jarod told her things about himself and the Pretender project in general. "You have the gene but it alone is not enough. Someone must have been training you." She had listened to his explanations and after them she thought that she should've somehow been feeling different, but she was still the same person she had been before. He saw the somewhat lost look in her eyes and realized that she knew nothing about really being a pretender.
"You can be anyone you want to be. You can simulate their behavior, feelings and actions accurately."
Lea felt lost. All the information about the Centre, its different projects and herself was a lot to take in all at once and she couldn't concentrate any longer. *This certainly turned out to be an eventful day. Who would have guessed?.. Shit, I forgot all about dinner.* She checked her watch. *And I'm definitely late now.* She knew she would have some explaining to do, especially about him. She couldn't avoid grinning like an idiot.
"What is it?" He knew that her focus was now on something else than in the matters at hand.
"Oh, it's just that I had promised a friend to have dinner with her but it would seem that I'm quite late. I was on my way when I ran into you."
It dawned on him that it was late and that they hadn't eaten anything. "Are you hungry? I could get us something to eat."
"Now that you mentioned, I would love to get my hands on a pizza right now."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jarod took the opportunity and called Sydney while he was getting their pizzas. He could've hacked his way into the Centre archives and find the answers he was looking for but he knew that Sydney had probably taken a look at the Nexus files after his first call and that he was able to give more details along with the answers he wanted.
"This is Sydney."
"Raines was wrong, she has enough potential," he confirmed that she indeed was the same girl from the Nexus project.
"Jarod, listen to me. The Nexus project wasn't terminated after all. She was given to foster parents but they work for the Centre and also other Centre personnel has been placed near her."
"What do you mean 'near her'?"
"The files had multiple references to surveillance files and also to other material. Based on those, it would seem that at least one, if not more, of her friends works for the Centre."
"So she's a real-life experiment. And I bet that Raines runs the project."
"He does." It didn't surprise Sydney that Jarod knew this; he always managed to tie things together somehow. Sydney also realized now that the desperation he had heard in Jarod's voice earlier was gone and it had been replaced with anger towards the Centre. He understood his reaction and knew better than to take it personally.
"So he pulled her out of the Pretender project and was then raising his own pretender behind the protective shadows of the Nexus project. It is a shame when he finds out that she's escaped and he can tell no one the whole truth." He smirked and hung up.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
There he was, standing behind the same door as before, but this time his feelings were very different. She was obviously very smart and more importantly, she was like him. He had met smart people before but although they were almost his equals in that way, they were predictable. *With her anything's possible. She fooled me once, though I now know what she is, so does she know me.* Jarod had no plan what to do with her but somehow it felt oddly liberating; he could only be himself. *Whoever that is..*
She had taken a long shower while waiting for his return and was now sitting in the lone chair next to the bed. She felt a little tired but she didn't want to fall asleep before Jarod came back. *I'll just let my eyes rest for a bit.*
He was going to lay the pizza boxes on the table because it appeared that she was asleep. While he was wondering whether to wake her up or not, she opened her eyes stretching her arms and back. He walked a few steps towards her and offered her the top box.
"I hope you like this. I brought you some clothes, too." He showed her the bag and laid it next to the nightstand.
She opened the box and noticed that her pizza had ham and pineapple. "It's my favorite. Did you know this somehow?" Jarod looked at her and wondered how to tell her. "Yes."
"But how?"
He waited until she had started devouring her pizza and took a deep, fortifying breath. "They never let you go. Your foster parents and some others of the people close to you work for the Centre." She was absolutely flabbergasted, but kept insistently chewing on the pizza slices. Jarod told her how the Centre had massive amounts of information on her; all collected by the people she thought she could trust.
He had hacked his way into the Centre archives after he had finished the call with Sydney. It seemed they had stored every bit of information on her: all her habits, her favorite things, things she had said and experienced, people she had met... it was like they were desperately trying to understand her and to find out what made her tick. She wasn't even a human to them, but yet another lab rat, only this time in an invisible labyrinth. With every piece of information had also been stored an alias for the contributor. Skimming through the files, he had seen many aliases, some had only one tidbit in their achievements and others had filled many files. Most of them didn't probably even have anything to do with the Centre.
"They were brought into your life so that the Centre could train you and keep an eye on your progress... You were officially in the Nexus project but you have been also somehow given education on how to use your pretender skills." Only his calm and compassionate voice kept her from breaking down.
She had by now figured out that someone from the Centre was probably following her, that they wouldn't have let her go so easily if she really was in one of their projects. But this... she decided that she wouldn't let them destroy her. *Those bastards!*
Her voice sounded weaker than she had hoped but the resolution in it was clear. "How can I find out who were involved?"
"I will help you." He looked straight into her eyes and she felt instantly better. *At least I have one person whom I can trust.*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jarod -being the perfect gentleman- insisted that he would sleep in the chair, letting Lea have the bed. She didn't want him to feel uncomfortable all night but she sensed that he wasn't ready to share the bed with her, not this soon after what had happened, so she let him have his way.
He couldn't sleep; it wasn't the chair and mostly not even her that kept him awake. It was rare for him to sleep through the whole night, anyway. He heard her slow and steady breathing and watched her in the dimly lit room. She was sleeping on her left side, facing him, and her right side was in fetal position while her left hand was tucked under the pillow and her left leg was flat against the mattress. The thin sheet covered her entirely except for her head but it hugged her curves. He took in her sleeping form in long, languid gazes thinking that, considering the day, she was able to sleep remarkably peacefully.
His laptop had been stored under the bed for the night, but he pulled it out and decided to study more the files Centre had on her. *Maybe I can find some answers.* He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he was doing this partly to get a feeling what it would have been like to grow up in the real world instead of being locked up behind the walls of the Centre.
Each time she shifted her position he froze over the keyboard and watched her until she was again sleeping as peacefully as before. He wasn't envying her life, she might had been free while growing up, but at least he hadn't been living a lie as blatant as she had.
Again, she moved slightly, but this time her breathing quickened and became shallower. After a little while, she emitted a muffled scream and woke up.
"What time is it?" She lifted her head from the pillow to listen to his answer. She knew subconsciously that he wasn't asleep.
"About 2:30 a.m. You've been sleeping for almost three hours." Jarod wondered what her nightmare was about but he didn't want to ask her for he feared that it had something to do with his earlier actions and he didn't want to remind her about it.
She sensed that he avoided something and then realized, what it most likely was. "Oh, don't worry. It wasn't about you," she said soothingly. He was surprised by this, perhaps more about the fact that it wasn't about him than the fact that she had noticed his silent question.
*Technically, I didn't lie to him. That last dream _wasn't_ about him.* But the one before it was. And that had been a nice dream. *Yeah, what an understatement.* The only thing that worried her, was that it might mean that her plan had failed. Although this time there wasn't that overwhelmingly burning need to have him inside her, she still wondered what it would be like the second time around.
*Damn, I could might as well get up, I can't sleep for a while, anyway.* She sat up trying just to get her bearings straight but after a while she became aware that he was studying her. Lea quietly savored the feeling, it wasn't often that a gorgeous man was looking at her that intensely. She had been a sucker for brown eyes as long as she could remember and his were the most wonderful she had ever seen, always conveying so many feelings all at once and always telling exactly what he was thinking.
"So, what have you been up to? I see you're not sleeping." She nodded towards the laptop in his arms.
As the files had told about increasingly intimate things, Jarod had wanted to stop reading but he just couldn't help himself. He knew she had the right to have secrets -while there was some left- and he certainly didn't want to study her as they had done, but he only wanted to understand her.
He didn't want Lea to see the whole extent of the archived information on her. *Not now.* "I was just trying to determine how far the Centre has went this time. They have gathered a lot information on you, so I was making a list of how they have managed it and who were helping them."
Lea closed in on him, so he closed the current file fast and opened a new one. *No reason to let her see that even the most intimate things hadn't been excluded from the files.*
The new file was different from the others. It had no contributor alias and no specific information on her. Instead, it seemed to be some kind of an evaluation of her, conclusions based on her statements and actions. The most worrying part wasn't the cold, analytical way it was written, but the header of the file. *They're tracking her!*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Take your clothes off. Now," urgency filling his voice. Realizing how his statement must have sounded, he quickly explained. "Your file has a reference to a tracking device and I have to remove it before anyone finds us."
This was clearly the moment where she had to decide whether to trust him completely or not. After a few seconds of hesitation, she complied with his command with her mind racing. *Fuck, this is like some serious spy shit.*
Jarod studied her skin meticulously looking for any scars or marks that would indicate that a microchip had been implanted under her skin. He frowned when he noticed an inch long straight scar on her left shoulder, just like what would form after a surgical incision. He felt a tiny lump under it and suddenly produced a pocketknife from his bag.
"This is going hurt for a while." That was the only warning she got before he swiftly cut the device out.
The surprise stifled most of the pain: it was almost too surreal. In light of everything he told her, it shouldn't have surprised her but the small metal object he showed her made it all real. Until that moment, everything could have been fabricated, but not anymore. Now she was in someone else's shoes. And she actually had hoped that he had commanded her to strip for an entirely different reason.
"How come no one's here if they had that thing watching me all this time?" She pressed the wound with a towel Jarod had handed her and pulled her clothes on. Her arm didn't bleed that badly, apparently he knew what he was doing.
"I don't know yet, but I suggest we leave before we find out."
Jarod wrote hastily a note and left it on the table with the tracking device. Then he packed his bag, grabbed it with him and pushed her out the door. Jarod had the car parked alongside of the road that went through the industrial area his lair had been in. They got into the blue Ford and he sped away on the empty road. Just as he reached an intersection to make a right turn, he looked into the rear view mirror noticing two black cars screeching to a halt in front of the very building they had left. *That was a close one.*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"They had just been there," Mr. Lyle summed up, "The tracking device was removed but it had some fresh blood on it, when we reached the site."
"Do we know who was she with?" The wheezing in Raines' voice indicated that he didn't like this turn of events.
"Uh.. well, we found this right next to the chip." Lyle handed him a piece of paper: Thank you for the lovely memories. Jarod.
"I want them both back. Let Miss Parker worry about Jarod. I don't want to let her find about the Nexus project." 'Angry' didn't even begin to describe how Mr. Raines felt. *Some heads will fall now. And I just happen to know which ones.* This unexpected turn of events now bumped up their schedule. *The Triumvirate will not be pleased.*
"You find her. Use the secondary device and get her back here!"
"The second chip? If the Triumvirate finds out about it, they will take action against us."
"Well, then they must not know about it."
Lyle left the office and Mr. Raines thought about the situation. She had been secretly used as a pretender by the Triumvirate. He had a second tracking device installed on her for his personal plans but now it was the only way to get her back. *Though in the Centre I can use her almost as easily whenever I need to. She will be my ticket to the top.* He smiled.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hello, sis. How's the hunt?" Lyle taunted his sister while walking into her office as if it was actually his. He liked to possess information she didn't have so he could throw some bread crumbs at her and remind which one of them really is the brains of the twosome.
"Why, if it isn't the man whose ability to knock went down the toilet with his thumb?" Miss Parker never liked seeing his brother, she still had hard time believing that this monster actually was related to her. She stood up behind her desk to intimidate him, she wasn't tall enough for that but her entire physical appearance added to the effect. She knew that this was her office, her world and she let him know it, too.
Mr. Lyle let it pass because he had the upper hand this time. "So, do you know where everyone's favorite lab rat has been lately?"
She didn't think he deserved an answer, it was _her_ assignment and she certainly didn't report to Lyle. But it was easier to throw dog a bone than listen to her father's lecture on about family and the importance of it. "We have our leads." *Well, we don't. Like he disappeared from the face of the Earth, but the boy _is_ a genius and he never stays under the radar for long. But it's no concern of yours.*
"Then why don't you try this when you hit your collective heads to the wall with the other leads?" Lyle threw a folder on her desk. "Just don't wait too long."
Mr. Lyle headed for the door with a grin, he could imagine how her sister glared at him, but his true victory was in her speechlessness: her quick wit and sharp tongue was rarely bested.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jarod pulled over after he assumed it was safe. They were at the airport. No one had followed them for an hour, but he knew they should keep going so that the track they leave would go cold before anyone picked it up. "I think we should get you on a plane out of here." They got out of the car and headed for the entrance.
"What's the hurry? They can't follow me now, can they?" She didn't want to leave _everything_ behind. There was one person she didn't want to miss and he was walking there with her. *He won't let me stay.. and he won't come with me. So, I will be alone, again.*
"There are people in this town who can recognize you and turn you in. You're not safe here." Jarod looked around. "You can go buy whatever you need while I book you a flight."
They walked briskly to the terminal. Lea was disappointed but she tried her hardest not to let it show. "Ok. I'll see you here in.. What, twenty minutes?"
He checked his watch and frowned. *That's too long, I need to get her on a plane. Now.* "Better make it fifteen." She watched how he strode away. *Now, that I could watch a little more. Damn that it's just not happening.* She disappeared into a shop.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lyle watched how a little dot moved against the superimposed map on the screen of his hand-held. He smiled smugly after realizing that their target was closer than anticipated. *You want to come home that much that you came to see us? Well, soon you'll be where you belong.* When the Centre jet touched down, Lyle cocked his gun and the three sweepers with him followed suit. Just as soon as the jet taxied to a stop, the four men jumped out of the plane.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jarod had been the only customer at this early hour so he waited for her in out-of-the-way corner, busying himself yet again with his laptop. The last file he had seen before they fled deserved more attention. He looked particularly a description of the methods they used to train her Pretender skills. When he had told her about his time in the Pretender project, nothing had seemed familiar to her. He scrolled through the text. There was much more interesting reading than he had time for but he still read some unrelated sentences here and there. *Works better under pressure... Is not easily affected emotionally by pictures of disasters, stays detached unless there are extremely graphical pictures or descriptions...* He had to open another file.
It was a jackpot. Jarod found out that she had been trained by watching TV and movies and reading books. She would go through 'the material' and she would then be engaged to a discussion about it. They had her finding flaws, plot holes, alternative endings and illogicalities. He realized that she hadn't been trained like him; her skills were in analyzing any situation quickly and finding many ways to handle it. Also, she could include people's reactions to her plans. *She doesn't pretend, she just simulates. They trained her to be like a computer!*
He was quite concentrated on the reading but had a good view to the shop. The airport was quiet and his instinct of self-preservation was always active. So when there was a larger group of men closing in on the shop, he noticed it early. *Shit.* Jarod quickly slipped behind the corner. None of the men had fortunately spotted him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A prompt glance at the screen told Lyle that she was near. He slipped it in his pocket and ordered two sweepers to position themselves a bit further to avoid any undeserved attention, but so that she couldn't escape. One sweeper was to remain outside the only door and Lyle entered the shop.
Jarod could see that she was trapped and that there were too many sweepers to devise a direct plan to help her. *If it was only Lyle with one sweeper, maybe two, I could manage.* He put his gray matter to work. He observed the situation just long enough to see that Lyle caught her. She looked like she was about to run, but Lyle showed her the gun he was carrying and then nodded towards the sweepers. Jarod disappeared quietly, he had formulated a plan.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
She had suspected nothing. A man in a white suit had smiled at her when he had walked in but she had never seen him before. *Maybe people have more time to be friendly when it's not the rush hour.* They were the only customers and he had approached her steadily. She was preparing for a friendly small talk but he had skipped that part.
"Hello, Lea." Her first instinct was to run. *He knows who I am. They managed to follow us!* By the time her legs started to move again he grabbed her arm and pulled her close.
"Now, is that a way to greet the man who can take you back home?" His tone turned from deceptively kind to impatient. "I'd suggest that you choose your next move carefully." He let her caught a glimpse of the gun he had under his jacket and pointed at the sweepers.
Her options were effectively narrowed. She could either give in or take a chance running. *Jarod is still out there.*
"You can't use a gun here." She just didn't have the courage to run, for he might be insane enough to actually shoot her.
"Maybe, maybe not. But I can use this." Lyle pulled a knife from his pocket, it wasn't a big one, but it was sharp. He wanted to make a lasting impression on her. "It's perfect for the quieter moments, don't you think. Though the precision suffers without a thumb.. but I've learned to manage." She shuddered at the thought.
*There goes that option.. which leaves me with none.* She wondered where Jarod was and hoped that he was okay. These guys were playing hardball, so they most probably originated from the Centre and that being the case, they would take him along if they found him. As much as she wanted him to swoop in and save the day, she knew that he could do nothing against the four men. *They win.*
Lyle pushed her forward and she took a reluctant step.
"I knew you'd see it my way." He whispered the words in her ear, though she sensed that he was slightly disappointed to be denied an opportunity to use the blade on her. Lyle dragged her out of the shop and the sweepers guarded his flanks as they headed back to the jet.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
*This is not happening.* Lea tried to buy some time by walking as slowly as she could but it did little help; Lyle and one of the sweepers was almost carrying her. When she saw the white-hulled jet, hopelessness took over her mind. *After I'm in that plane, there'll be no way to escape. They can do what they want and I.. can't stop them.* The growing panic inside her made her fight back, but this time Lyle pulled the gun out and held it to her side.
"I can shoot you _now_. We only need your head, so that leaves many body parts we _don't_ need." It had the effect Lyle wished: she wanted to kill him, it was in her eyes, but she stopped fighting and he could almost feel the control he had over her.
They climbed up the stairs and Lyle ordered the captain through the cockpit door to hold takeoff until he said otherwise. *Maybe she knows where Jarod is and I can bring them both back.* The mere idea of the priceless look on Miss Parker's face was gratifying. Lyle shoved Lea on a seat.
She had already figured out why he had ordered the captain to wait. *But what will it take for him to believe me?* She had a bad feeling that she would see the knife again. *What if I'll just play along? He obviously wants to be in control, so what if I'll give him just that?* She was in survival mode, ready to lie, kill and maim if needed.
Lyle was standing right in front of her, being his usual, seemingly charming self. "My name is Mr. Lyle." He paused because it would be more dramatic and drama was what the situation called for. "And before we get you back to the Centre, you'll tell me where Jarod is." She recognized the menace in his eyes.
"I don't know where he is." Lea tried to instill the right amount of fear and frustration in her voice, making her answer sound like she would turn Jarod in in a heartbeat if it were possible.
It wasn't enough to convince Lyle.
"Given Jarod's history he wouldn't leave you alone in the airport. So where is he?" Lyle's patience was running out.
"I told you, I don't know. He left me to buy tickets and drove off to get something. Something about DSAs." Lea prayed that she remembered correctly. Jarod had explained her in the car that the Centre was also after the recordings they had made of his simulations while he had been confined there. He had pointed to the back seat at a silver metal suitcase and labeled it as the DSA player. She eyed Lyle warily, hoping that he now bought it.
"When will he be here?" Lyle took the bait and her brain produced a long list of possible lies. She had to choose one fast.
"He told me to go alone if he didn't show up in half an hour."
"So when?" He began to be irritated, so she had to name a short enough time. She looked at her watch and counted the minutes.
"Fifteen minutes."
Lyle hesitated for a second and a smile formed on his lips. He ordered two sweepers to take position inside the airport and then turned to Lea.
"Good. There's yet time to demonstrate what happens when you lie to me." He fished the knife from his pocket. Lea's eyes widened in fear. Lyle was clearly enjoying himself.
"Want to know how we found you?"
She did want to know but wasn't sure if it was worth finding out. Slowly, she nodded and at that instant Lyle grabbed her by her hair. He held the blade on her throat, letting her feel the cool metal touching her skin. *It's all about first impressions. We won't need the second tracker anymore and it is incriminating evidence, which must be taken care of. Two birds with one stone.* He then pushed her head down and exposed her neck.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lea wanted to fight her way out of Lyle's grip but she could see the last remaining sweeper holding out a gun trained on her legs. *Yeah, what a cliché, shooting someone's kneecaps.* Her focus returned to Lyle. *He can't kill me, he just wants me to be scared of him, he wants control.* But she was in a very different life than the day before and she was afraid.
The blade cut the shorter hair in her neck and scraped her skin. She flinched.
"Oops. Didn't mean to do that." There was no regret in his voice, just amusement. He pushed her head against her legs, not wanting to cause any permanent damage and making the device more accessible.
She felt tears escaping her eyes. *Why me?* She held her breath and waited. That terrifying second seemed to last forever. Then came the realization that the knife was cutting her flesh. The pain came instantly and she screamed -it lasted for another eternity for her.
Lyle was not being gentle with her: he almost carved the device out. When he was done, he pulled her head up again and showed it to her.
"You'll never get away again." He let her go and she slumped in her seat sobbing quietly.
Lyle disappeared for a moment but emerged with a towel: he had washed his hands. There was no blood on his suit. She surveyed the scene but was able to do nothing. He felt powerful seeing the fear in her eyes. *My work here is done.*
"Watch her and don't let her bleed all over the plane," he ordered the sweeper and left. He wanted to personally see Jarod's reaction when he was caught.
The man folded a clean towel and placed it on her neck and told her to stay still in order to stop the bleeding. His voice was almost friendly but he had the gun with him to serve as a reminder of what would happen if she tried to run. Lea thanked him anyway for the decency he showed and curled on her seat. She was too tired to care what would happen when Lyle got back, she just hoped that Jarod would have enough time to run. Then she sunk into blissful unconsciousness.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mr. Lyle was very unaware of the keen eyes that were watching him as he destroyed the tracking device and the hand-held against the tarmac and headed towards the terminal. If looks could kill, he would have been six feet under by now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The sweeper had placed himself so that he could watch her. Not that she would be even attempting to run, but when you're working for Mr. Lyle, there's no room for mistakes. Rustling from the door caught his attention next. The captain of the plane was closing it.
"Hey. What are you doing? Mr. Lyle didn't order takeoff yet." He stood up to confront him, leaving his gun to his seat. Before he could do anything the captain took a swing at him, sending him to the floor. He was about to pounce on the captain but he found himself staring at a gun aimed directly at him. There was nothing he could do.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jarod quickly tied up the sweeper and fastened him to seat on the back, then he rushed to see Lea. She was still unconscious but the wound didn't bleed that badly anymore. He decided to let her rest.
His big plan was to sneak into the Centre jet before Mr. Lyle and his posse returned and pretend to be the pilot. The plan had a few gaps, which required improvisation, the greatest challenge being how he could avoid being seen and distract the sweepers. Luckily, there had been enough time to reach the jet and therefore Lyle had no idea that the real captain was out of play.
Jarod had had a few ideas of getting rid of the sweepers and possibly Lyle, too, but Lea had provided a story that left her relatively unguarded. He wished that he could have stopped Lyle from hurting her, but it would have been too risky. At least the second tracking device was history and she was free.
He fastened Lea's seatbelt and climbed into the cockpit.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"We recovered the Centre jet, but there was no trace of her or Jarod." Raines was sizzling with anger. It should have been a simple assignment: bring her back. But Lyle had gone after Jarod and his track record with Jarod wasn't that great. "You will be the one answering to the Triumvirate."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
It was a short flight to a bigger city where it was easier to lose anyone possibly following them.
Jarod knelt beside her and called her name softly, but she didn't react. He reached to stroke her knee tenderly. "Lea, time to wake." It was the touch that ultimately woke her up. When she opened her eyes, Jarod told her to stay still and opened her seatbelt.
Her brain tried desperately to fire synapses to get a handle on the situation and to pass on the information she had. "Mr. Lyle is here... He's looking for you."
"I know. I stole the jet." He helped her to lean forward and removed the towel carefully. "We're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy." They hadn't been in Kansas in the first place, but he attempted to ease her mind by the reference. Apparently, it worked because he noticed her relaxing slightly. For her popular culturally oriented mind the message was clear and she attempted a smile. *Though I left Kansas the moment I met you.*
Jarod found a first-aid kit and cleaned the wound. She changed into one of his T-shirts; running around with a bloody shirt wouldn't probably be that smart. He had decided to rent a car and get as far as they could, the rest could be planned on the road.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
They had been driving for solid eight hours; it was 2 p.m. Lea had slept for a few hours and then, after breakfast, she had taken the wheel, letting Jarod get some long overdue rest. She liked watching him, gorgeous as he was, taking in every little detail she could, burning them into her mind so she'd always have them with her.
"Was I out long?" He yawned and saw her fighting a smile.
"I'd say about four hours." Her smile grew a little wider.
"What?" He was curious about her not-so-subtle grin.
"Oh, um.. Did you know that you talk in your sleep? Or at least this time you did." It wasn't anything compromising per se, but she would have been the first one to admit that her imagination was sometimes overactive. "It sounded like you were talking to someone called Miss Parker."
She classified his silence as a little embarrassed, but without knowing who Miss Parker was, she couldn't discern if it was because he had uttered her name out loud or the revelation that he talked in his sleep.
"So... Are you hungry yet? I could use some food." As cute as he looked little flustered, she didn't want to embarrass him further.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
After lunch, Jarod settled in the driver's seat wondering how he had slept for so long. Perhaps it was the open road, the lack of the Centre-based dangers and another pair of vigilant eyes.
While he concentrated on driving, she considered her options and simulated the possible consequences and outcomes. Jarod had earlier told her how they had trained her and to what end. She had a hard time believing that not everyone could think so far ahead, especially since she had done it as early as she remembered. She had used her talent -not even realizing it- to find out more about Jarod. She was aware of her constant need to understand and organize the world around her; it was unavoidable.
"Why haven't you disappeared from them?" She strove to understand his choices. "I mean, you could. They wouldn't find you."
"I need them. They're the only way to find my family." He wondered what spurred her question.
"But you don't need _them_. You need their information... and you're good with computers." Jarod felt that she was going somewhere with this, but wasn't sure what she had in mind.
"Not everything is found on a computer." She contemplated this for a while.
"Who is Miss Parker?"
"Why do you ask?" Actually answering her question would be almost impossible.
"Your dream... It sounded like she's very important to you."
*So, she is analyzing me... I did read her files, maybe this is only fair. Maybe she sees something I can't.* Being scrutinized wasn't easy for him given his past, but the prospect of finding out what part Miss Parker really plays in his life was too much to give up. He liked to believe that his childhood friend was in there somewhere, under the cool facade. She was wronged and he considered it his duty to try and help her. All his tricks were meant to serve as reminders that he would be there for her; she was allowed to have feelings.
Ignoring the training Lea received, he answered her question as truthfully as he could. "We were friends a long time ago. Now, she's the one they put after me."
"I see. You allow the cat and mouse thing to go on because of her."
"It's not that simple." *And yet it is. If it weren't for her, I _would be_ behind a computer.*
She thought that she would soon cross the fine line between finding out more about him and interrogating him; his words were meant to end the current conversation. *Maybe if I could hear Miss Parker's side of the story...* Jarod had helped her and she wanted to pay her debt in a manner she was uniquely qualified to: by analyzing his situation. Only, this was hardly the place for it.
After a thoughtful silence, their gentle chat about world and all its mysteries continued. Jarod was happy to found someone who could provide answers to many of his questions about popular culture and the ways of the world. Lea felt good to be useful and to get fresh views of old things.
When -around 5:30 p.m.- she voiced out that she was hungry, Jarod teased her about how she could eat all the time. Sure, his stomach had been growling, too, but he liked to made her smile and to get some witty remark from her. It somehow reminded him of Miss Parker.
They drove a little further, so that Jarod could reserve a decent hotel room for them, courtesy of the Centre, of course. Leaving their meager belongings in the room, they headed for the restaurant downstairs.
Lea managed to put aside her questions and just to enjoy dinner and Jarod's company. *This feels almost normal. A nice restaurant, good food... and a handsome date.* The casual conversation resumed, and even her mind stopped analyzing everything, getting lost somewhere between his eyes and his words. Only the first notes of a song she recognized as Bryan Adams' Heaven -one of her favorites-, succeeded to break through the wall between her and the world.
"Would you dance with me? I love this song." Jarod was taken by surprise but he stood up and led them to the dance floor.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lea never had been much of a dancer but the song was a slow one so that it didn't matter. She held her other hand around his waist, feeling his well-built muscles under the fabric of his shirt. He held her other hand close to him and his other hand was draped around her shoulders. *He's so warm and strong.. I could get used to this.* As the song went on she snuggled closer to him. Finally, her head was resting against his chest and she was listening to his heartbeat and breathing in his delicious, earthy scent. The world could have ended around them but she would have remained untouched in his arms. *This is what being safe feels like.*
Her quiet but deep sigh filled with contentment and longing didn't escape him. On one hand, she was million miles away and on the other, it seemed that there was no place she'd rather be. For Jarod, that moment was a glimpse of the future: the peace he could have when he found his family had in his imagination always felt just like that.
He was treading lightly around her because of the Nexus project but now he allowed himself to be carried away by that moment. Her plan had succeeded; otherwise they wouldn't be able to keep their hands -and other various body parts- off each other, like they had done after their first encounter. *No one has that much self-control.*
In her opinion, she had been on a slightly different plane of existence than other people since she had grown up. It wasn't like she was better than they were but simply more aware of things. For that reason, she had always -in some far corner of her mind- been lonely. Of course, she could enjoy company and had been happy with her boyfriends -the three of them, now all her ex-boyfriends- but there was always a part of her life they didn't even realize existed. With Jarod holding her, there wasn't that empty space anymore, she wasn't alone. *My universe is now complete.*
As the song faded away, he pulled himself slowly from their embrace. Their eyes fixed on each other, she really wished that he would kiss her but instead, he let go of her with a smile and headed for their table. *So, he's not interested.* A wave of disappointment washed over her in that awkward moment.
"What if we called it a day? I must be more tired than I thought." She gave him a semi-tired smile and hoped that he bought it.
"Well, we do have early morning so why not." He saw through her effort: she was sad, not tired.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Neither of them said a word during the elevator ride.
*Shit. That's just great.. First, he shows me that it's possible to fill that empty void and then, he's not interested in me. You stupid woman, what were you thinking! That he would hold me in his arms forever only because we have some weird lab rat experience in common? Jeez, what are you? Thirteen?*
Lea avoided his gaze and kept her eyes fixed at the floor. She needed some time to compose herself and to forget whatever had just happened on the dance floor before she could face those intense brown eyes of his.
She did steal one brief look of him but it didn't go unnoticed. He was leaning against the opposite wall, his legs crossed at ankle height with his arms in his jacket pockets and eyes closed. *And he just oozes confidence.. and infinite coolness.* Lea had always felt greatly attracted by men who had lots of self-confidence. *God damn heart breaker!*
Women were -to certain extent- still quite a mystery to Jarod, specifically the way they tried to communicate silently. Sometimes they clearly operated under the assumption that men can read their minds.. and if not, then there's hell to pay. *This must be one of those times. But what is it she wants me to do?*
As Jarod opened the door for her, he noted that she didn't even try to keep physical distance to him, so he decided to bravely ask what had made her insulate herself from him emotionally. She heard the door shut but when he didn't make another move, she knew that now she was in trouble.
"Did I do something wrong?" The sincerity in his voice was almost like a child's. She turned slowly to face him. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."
*Damn, he's perceptive. I can't lie to him, he would notice it at some point..* She drew deep breath and sat down on her bed. "You didn't. It felt _very_ comfortable.."
"What is it then?"
"I don't think that this was mentioned in those Nexus files, so you're the first one to know.. I've always felt being on the outside looking in. Like I'd know things and see things that other people don't. And it has sometimes made me feel lonely."
He anticipated that the explanation was coming and quietly sat next to her.
"But I had gotten used to it. Until now.. I had no idea that it was possible to be without that loneliness. So, I just wanted more." Tears threatened to escape her eyes.
Jarod was very familiar with the feeling she had just described. Being a pretender made it possible to see the world as it was instead of seeing it from just one point of view. At times, he had encountered the loneliness as well. At that moment he knew what she had wanted.
He reached out to touch her hand. Her eyes followed his fingers for a while and then she turned to face him. She didn't know what to say, she only hoped that this time his actions would be less heart breaking.
He gently cupped her face, studying every emotion behind those storm cloud gray toned eyes. She tried to will him to move closer, being too afraid even to think anything else. His lips radiated the warmth his eyes always possessed. The initial touch was tender, but when she gave in, the kiss deepened and left her entirely incapacitated.
When she gasped for air, she wondered how could a simple kiss hold such intimacy. However, it was everything she had hoped and expected. *Maybe he already knows me better than I know myself.*
"And how much more did you want?" Jarod was only being careful, he could go through with this, but he needed her to be the one who makes the rules. "I need to you to say it."
An image of those same lips, but only more aggressive and demanding, came to her: the reason for his words. He was trying his damnedest not to hurt her and his protectiveness made her answer stuck to her throat. *I want everything. I want you. Now.*
"I'm ready to take what you are willing to give." There was a hint of playfulness in her voice, hidden behind the need, just enough for him to know that she was fully aware of what she was getting into.
What began as Jarod sweeping Lea's sadness from her mind, ended in mutual passion as they both tried to fill the void within each other. Not registering the outside world anymore, they got rid of their clothes less than gracefully but fast. They spent a long time just touching each other, fingers and lips working fiercely to find every square inch of their bodies; the sensation of hot skin just fueling the passion, taking it into a whole different level.
She had ended up on top, her long wavy hair tickling his cheek; he ran his hand gently through it. The fire in his amazingly beautiful brown eyes was mirrored in hers. *More.* It remained the last rational thought she was able to form before she impaled herself on him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
She reveled in the feeling of his hand wrapped around her waist, his slow steady breathing in her neck and his warm body pressed against hers in every possible spot. He had worked his way to the empty part of her universe and settled in. *Too bad I can't really have this.. that I can't be in his life like this.* He had given her hope and a memory of him, of a better world, but it was time to let go. She concentrated on that moment with every one of her senses and stored the information in her mind, to be accessed whenever she needed. *And boy, will I need it.*
Reluctantly, she rose to her feet and shuffled to the bathroom. Under the warm shower her focus shifted back to her situation. *I have to leave soon, in the morning at the latest. And they must not find me again.* When emerged from shower, Jarod was sitting at the table with his laptop. The scene before her eyes felt so familiar, like this was something that happened every day.
He noticed right away that Lea almost seemed to radiate energy. Her long hair was flowing and she smiled a little; he had noticed that she smiled quite often, even in these weird circumstances. "I took the liberty to plan your final disappearance. I opened two bank accounts for you and provided them with a nest egg. Have you decided yet where you will settle?"
"I'm thinking Colorado. Hopefully, they don't know to look for me there." She took a chair for herself and they booked the flights and even a bought a house for her online. When everything was taken care of, she decided to ask him if she could see the files the Centre had on her.
"Are you sure you're up to it?"
"It's best that I know what they know." There was steely determination in her voice.
He hacked his way into the Centre archives -as he had done countless times before- and turned the screen towards her, letting her have some privacy. The text and the frequent pictures flashed before her eyes when she scrolled through the files. Just flipping from one file to another revealed the extent of whatever project she was in.
She spent over half an hour with the files, glancing through them randomly and trying to determine what they didn't know or hadn't found out. Some things even she herself had long forgotten and some she had kept secret from everyone else. *Shit, this is like my diary.. but this only has _everything_ in it.* Finally, she concluded that all things that she had said or written or done were most likely in the files; only her most private thoughts had remained a secret -there weren't many of them. Occasionally she had explained things to Jarod who had listened patiently and observed her reactions. *At least they raised her to be strong. Or is it her own doing?*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
They shared the bed for the night, but kept their hands to themselves. He seemed to have unresolved issues in his life and she didn't want to complicate things further for either of them.
She was the first one awake in the morning. The alarm in her watch hadn't sounded yet, but she got up anyway. There was nothing to pack, so she paced around the bathroom nervously after she had gotten herself ready to go. *Should I wake him up or not? He won't like it, if he finds me gone, but I can't bear to say goodbye to him. God, he's done so much for me.* Making her way stealthily to the table, she wrote him a note, took a one final look at him and left for the airport.
Jarod heard the door lock and opened his eyes. He had been aware of her movements but found it extremely hard to form any words to say. So, he had spied on her and now that she was gone, he went straight to the note.
*******************
Jarod,
I can't even imagine what would have become of my life, if I hadn't met you. Thank you for everything. I owe you big time, so if you ever need me, you know where I'm going. I hope I will see you again.
Dorothy of Kansas :)
*******************
He had to smirk at her signature. *She'll be alright. And maybe we'll see each other some day.*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Warning: strong words have been used. Also the sexual content and slight (?) angst make me set the bar at NC-18. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: The characters used herein are not mine, except for the character Lea. I do not own the Pretender and no infringement is intended. I'm making no money, so please don't sue me. The intention is only to provide some possible entertainment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jarod stuck the gun between her ribs and felt her stiffen. Her muscles flexed to react to the threat and he was satisfied with her reaction because it was exactly what he was going for.
"This is a gun and I will use it if I must. So, play along and don't give me any reason to pull the trigger."
His voice was low and calm as he tried to convince her to stay still and quiet. He still had to find out who she really was: had the Centre her on its payroll or was she only an innocent bystander who was at the wrong place at the very wrong time? He checked her quickly for a gun and hid his in a jacket pocket.
"Let's go." Jarod looked around and saw no one. Luckily, they were in a more secluded part of the park. He seized her arm and walked her towards his car.
He didn't quite understand what had just happened. The sweeper team had done what he had anticipated and walked straight into the trap he had set up in the park but she was something else. He knew the sweepers had been sent by Mr. Lyle but she was an enigma. Jarod hadn't seen her before, although he knew that it didn't prove anything. She had first followed him on the street and then she had been blocking his escape and very efficiently, too, because he had nowhere else to run without her knowing about it. She had had the advantage of higher ground on her side, so to speak, and she had looked like she was waiting for something.
It was no time for him to take any chances. He swiftly decided to stick to his original plan with the one exception that he would take her along. After all, she could possibly provide him some new information about what the Centre was up to and it's always important to know one's enemies. Maybe she could be turned against the Centre, although he was being realistic with the odds for that being very low.
Lea felt his powerful hands around her waist, like he was searching for something. The situation was so sudden that she was too dazed to resist him. She had been on her way to have dinner with her best friend when she had first noticed him. He had been on the other side of the street looking in her general direction and she was instantly swept away by his good looks. A quick glance at her watch told her that she was running early and so she had followed him to the park, especially since it didn't add that many yards to her walk. There was something in him that captivated her.
Just shortly after she had first seen him images filled her mind, as if she had been with him in an intimate way. Those images felt like memories of an actual thing that had happened, but she was sure that she had never seen him before or that, at least, she had never been with him before. The quasi-memories were something she had never felt before and so she just had to follow him further. *I have lots of time before dinner.* Maybe the images were telling her that it was her destiny, she thought. *Or some weird fucked up version of it.*
Now that she was walking in his grip, she couldn't control even her thoughts. *The things I do to get my share of hot males. Just one more look, what's the harm in that.. Yeah, what?* And she made a mental note not to listen to herself anymore. *Great, I just had to see a gorgeous man and to steal one look too many.* She hadn't seen him looking at her since the cursory glance on the street, but the images in her mind made her feel the familiar longing inside her.
When they approached his Ford, the confusion finally disappeared and she attempted to escape. While Jarod reached to open the door, she tried to yank her right hand free from his hold, but it didn't work; it was like he was waiting for it. He shoved her in the backseat and took out his gun, which made her freeze. Keeping it trained on her, he reached for the glove compartment and emerged at her side with a syringe. Before she even opened her mouth to object to the sight, he had administered the injection.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
She woke up chained to a bedpost. Her head hurt and her mouth was dry, but after painfully opening her eyes, she saw a glass of water with a straw on the nightstand. She crawled as close to the glass as her shackles allowed and took a sip. Then she allowed her eyes to close again. When she felt that the room had stopped spinning -or maybe it was her head, to her it didn't matter- she opened her eyes again and inspected the small room she had been confined to. When her gaze reached the other side of the bed she took a sharp breath. *It's him! He's here.* She didn't know whether it was a good sign or a bad one.
Jarod had waited for her to stir for half an hour. A part of him was feeling extremely guilty for kidnapping a possibly innocent woman but another part felt strange pride for this unexpected change of plans: she might work for the Centre. But yet another feeling was present and this one was getting stronger every minute. As he had carried her from the car and reviewed her features, his brain was telling him that there was something familiar with her.
He really wasn't waiting for those images and so they shocked him quite a bit. His years in the Centre might not have been easy but at least he remembered them, except for this. He knew that those things had never happened because then he would never have forgotten them in the first place. And no male would forget something like that.
He knew how her bare skin felt, how warm it was and how good it felt beneath his fingertips. He had been with her, so close to her. He quickly shut out those images when she had begun to wake but they left him feeling aroused.
Fortunately, his interest in her turned to a less intimate one and he did manage to calm his breath and compose himself.
"Do you work for the Centre?" his voice was calm and stern yet it had a slightly friendly undertone. He leaned back casually in his seat and waited for her reaction. He had learned a long time ago that reactions could tell their own truth behind the spoken words.
She tried to focus her stare on him and blinked twice after the question. The words she had heard meant nothing and all she was able to do was stare at him blankly.
Her shivering caught his eye and he decided to give the sedative some more time to wear off. The use of drugs really wasn't his style but under the circumstances he was glad to have been prepared. She might not had anything to do with the sweepers but the images that kept popping into his head told him that there was something special in her.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"This is Sydney."
"It would be nice to be left alone for a change. No more running, hiding and evading sweepers."
"Mr. Lyle had a phone call from someone directly. Immediately after he hung up, he dispatched a sweeper team to coordinates he didn't feel like sharing with Miss Parker."
"Who was this mysterious informant?"
"We don't know."
"Talking about the Centre, how many times have they tried to brainwash me?"
The question caught Sydney a bit off-guard. "What do you mean? They never used brainwashing in the Pretender project. You were far too valuable to be subjected to something that could destroy your abilities."
"Oh, were we now? Because I seem to have memories of things that have never happened. How else would it be possible?"
Sydney tried to organize the information in his mind.
"As I recall, there was a project called Nexus. A young girl was in the Pretender project but she hadn't enough potential, at least according to Mr. Raines. So she was assigned to another project called Nexus. The goal was to implant her mind with memories and feelings which would surface again in adulthood."
"For what purpose?"
"The implanted memories and feelings were by nature such that they could be triggered by the mere sighting of a pretender. The memories would then raise interest towards the sighted pretender and create behavior that leads to procreation. But the girl was for some reason given to foster parents and Nexus hasn't been mentioned ever since. I assumed the project was a failure."
"She wasn't the only one in the project. I was in it, too, wasn't I?"
The older man contemplated for a second. "I'm not sure. Nexus was Raines' project, but it is possible that he used you in it, although I was never informed about such plans. The procedure was subtle and left no traces... Have you met her?"
"I think so. I have some vivid memories of her, memories I never had before... How can I forget them?"
Sydney heard a hint of desperation in his voice but he decided it was better not to confront him about it.
"You can't. They are like any memories, they fade only with time. But the feelings they gave should be more easily affected." He knew his answer wasn't one Jarod wanted to hear but he had always relied on his protégé's abilities to make the best of the sometimes-limited knowledge he had.
"Does she feel it, too?"
"It is possible if the project has indeed succeeded."
"I would definitely categorize this as brainwashing." And he hung up.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Now she felt as lucid as ever. The drug had worn off and she thought of her options, which was the only thing she could do considering she was chained to a bed. She had felt guilt mixed in with his determination. When she was younger she had found out that she had an ability to sense what others were feeling, but she tried not to use it too much because to her it was like invading their privacy. This time she had felt his quiet desperation even without reaching out to him.
Jarod reached for the door but he couldn't bring himself to open it. She had been in the Centre, she had been in the Pretender project and now she was behind that particular door, waiting for an explanation. And all he really wanted to do was to go in and ravish her. Well, all his body wanted to do, anyway, his brain was still in the process of trying to regain the control of his body. *It's now or never.*
The door opened and he slipped in. She had already determined that today it would be okay to violate this man's privacy; after all he was a kidnapper, albeit a very gorgeous one. She looked at him intently and concentrated: Pain, anger, guilt, desperation, determination, lust; everything he was feeling at that very moment. It was a mess and she saw it in his eyes, too.
He picked up a chair and moved it closer to the bed and then sat down. Despite the circumstances his voice was surprisingly calm. "Everything's okay. My name is Jarod and I have something to tell you."
He told her about a corporation called the Centre and then he explained the facts he had learned from Sydney about her past and waited for a reaction. She could've still been the mysterious informant who had called Mr. Lyle.
"I was adopted. I don't remember anything from my childhood." Those were the first words he heard her say. He thought that all the information was a bit too much for her to handle but she had quietly absorbed everything. He might have been the Great Pretender but she had the potential, too, and she was raised in a world filled with influences and stimuli. She was almost his equal although neither of them was aware of it. She had always had the feeling that she could do almost anything if she only put her effort in it. And now, the story he told her had filled in the blanks.
He had kept her chained. Partly because he didn't know her, they could've implanted also other, more dangerous memories in her mind, and partly because he feared that if he got closer to her he would lose all control over his body. He didn't want to give in to the feelings created by the Centre and he didn't want to attack a possibly innocent woman.
She was aware of his predicament since he had told her some details of the Nexus project, and it was all so clear to her. The only way to rid the feelings that shouldn't have been there.. the only thing that was wrong with the plan she was formulating was his innocence. She really didn't want him to believe that he was hurting her but in her opinion this was the only way and now was the only time to make her plan work.
Jarod began to suspect that she didn't understand the implications of his story but just then her eyes grew wider and she started gasping for air. Clearly, she was starting to panic.
"You mean that I was taken, when I was little? And they let me go? And they experimented on me?! But how.. how do you know?!"
"It's okay. You're safe now. Just breathe and relax." He wanted to help her, to hold her so she could calm down, but the more he thought about being near her, the more he just wanted her. Now it didn't even matter to him that she was in shock and clearly quite disoriented.
He could see the tears and the helplessness in her gray eyes when suddenly her expression changed. "You.. You're one of them! You're going to take me back there!" Her voice was filled with fear.
She saw him standing up and closing the distance between the bed and the chair. He was wearing black jeans and a black T-shirt, which really did his body justice. *Shit, could a man _be_ any hotter?* Deciding it would fit the scene, she tried to get as far away from him as possible but she could reach only the other side of the bed. *God, how much I want him.* He grabbed her shoulders so she would stop trembling and she indeed tensed under his touch. Reaching out to him with all her senses and concentrating, she knew that he would lose control soon, as would she.
"Get away from me. I have a life. I don't want to be anyone's lab rat!" She spat the words at him and tried to squirm from his grip while pretending that she was mustering the courage to defend herself.
"Listen.." He tightened his grip so he could make his point but her squirming had now brought her directly beneath him. His brain registered the danger that lied in this but by then it was too late.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Every rational thought in his head had now been shoved aside and the Centre programming took him over. The change was so obvious that all she needed to do to notice it was to look in his eyes, which were now almost black with raw need. She only hoped that she was able to stay in control long enough and that it wouldn't be for nothing. *Well... here we go, finally.*
He lowered his body onto hers so that she couldn't fight back but some of his weight was still on his hands, which he had placed right next to her body. His lips bruised hers and his tongue invaded her mouth exploring it thoroughly. Then he lifted her shirt up and let his left hand roam on her body. When he had explored her breasts with his hand he broke the almost one-sided kiss and continued the exploration with his lips, tongue and teeth.
His weight felt so good on her, it made him feel real and it reminded her that that was one fine specimen of mankind on her. *Please, fuck me already.* His assault on her flesh heightened her arousal so that she had to clench her fists into tight balls in order to concentrate on something else than what he was doing to her. This was a treatment she couldn't bear much longer. She wondered if he would notice were she to enjoy herself. Fortunately for her -and in a way, for both of them- he was the more impatient one.
He somehow managed to unbutton and unzip her jeans between his attacks on her already bruised lips and mauled nipples. Somewhere deep in his subconscious mind he wondered why she didn't fight him when he tugged her jeans and panties down and off completely, but that train of thought stopped immediately in its tracks. He slipped his finger inside her.
*Damn, man. Quit with the games and take me.* She wanted him inside her, she needed him. Every nerve ending in her body wanted to be touched by him when she felt him hard against her. *C'mon, release the beast.*
Her world almost ended when he pulled away from her but she heard him struggle with his own clothes this time. When his warm, half-naked body leaned in closer again, she surprised how smoothly he managed to slide into her. And how well he filled her. She didn't have much experience with these things but her body told her that this wasn't something ordinary. Sure, he was a tall man and.. well, everything was in proportion to that.
His hot breath tickled her ear but she had decided that she wouldn't move. Her concentration had to be directed at some task and this was as big a task as she could handle right now, literally. He picked up the pace and she knew that she would come soon. The mere idea of that man on her, inside her, with his strong, taut muscles touching her body all over while he moved and the low moans he emitted got her on the verge and his rhythmical thrusts finally made her come. Only a few thrusts later, he exploded in her body and collapsed on her.
With every breath that Jarod took, his thoughts became more controlled. It didn't take too long for him to realize what had just happened. He had actually attacked her. His mind now trying to find some way to handle this, he glanced at her and found himself staring at her almost peaceful gray eyes. He made his move, rushed his jeans on and bolted to the bathroom.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The expression on his face almost broke her heart and so she was strangely relieved to see him heading for the bathroom door and not the front door. After taking a while to allow her to catch her breath and to process what actually had just happened, she wiggled her shirt back down and covered her lower body with the blanket on the bed.
"Jarod, I am so sorry. I didn't want to do this to you. Please come out," she was pleading to him. There was no answer.
"I know that you think that you've hurt me, but you haven't. Please, believe me. I just couldn't tell you." She waited, but there was no answer.
"I wanted you, too. I just thought that this was the only way to.. " *How am I ever going to explain this?* " I wanted this to happen. I never said 'no'." Her voice began to break.
She waited a while and then shut the world outside and concentrated, but this time she got nothing; it was like he didn't exist. It seemed like her plan had failed miserably and that she had destroyed a good man for nothing. Tears filled her eyes.
Sitting on the bathroom floor his limbs sprawled over the floor tiles, shame began mixing in with his guilt. He had done exactly what the Centre wanted him to do and he had enjoyed it at the time he had done it. *She was defenseless and I took advantage of her. I couldn't resist the Centre.* Yet, in all the desperation, some detail kept nagging at him, some little thing he couldn't pinpoint.
*How can she even talk to me? After what I just did to her.* He heard her soft voice call out to him again, but he didn't want to hear the words. *What in the world is she talking about?* Jarod might have felt horrible about his actions but his mind could never leave a puzzle unsolved. Breaking out the heavy artillery with this particular brainteaser, he simmed her.
It took him a moment to grasp that she had most likely done the same exact thing earlier. *Talk about a nagging little detail!* She did have the potential and even though she probably was unaware of her talent, her instincts had simply taken over. He considered the implications for a moment and collected himself from the floor. He got up and opened the door quietly, vaguely unsure of the validity of his reasoning.
He picked up a key from the small table and proceeded to open the handcuffs. She hadn't even noticed his presence before his hand brushed hers. He sat on the bed and glanced at her shyly while she covered herself better with the blanket and straightened her wavy hair.
"I think I know what you were trying to do." His voice was quiet but carefully optimistic.
"Yeah, but did it work?" She gave him a warm smile after she had sensed that he was going to be okay.
She hoped that the implanted feelings and memories had now given way to the more recent ones and since they were a bit on the drastic side, maybe the older ones would be gone for good. If they were lucky, that was all it took. *Not that I have anything against what just happened, but it would be nicer if that happened slightly more voluntarily.*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jarod told her things about himself and the Pretender project in general. "You have the gene but it alone is not enough. Someone must have been training you." She had listened to his explanations and after them she thought that she should've somehow been feeling different, but she was still the same person she had been before. He saw the somewhat lost look in her eyes and realized that she knew nothing about really being a pretender.
"You can be anyone you want to be. You can simulate their behavior, feelings and actions accurately."
Lea felt lost. All the information about the Centre, its different projects and herself was a lot to take in all at once and she couldn't concentrate any longer. *This certainly turned out to be an eventful day. Who would have guessed?.. Shit, I forgot all about dinner.* She checked her watch. *And I'm definitely late now.* She knew she would have some explaining to do, especially about him. She couldn't avoid grinning like an idiot.
"What is it?" He knew that her focus was now on something else than in the matters at hand.
"Oh, it's just that I had promised a friend to have dinner with her but it would seem that I'm quite late. I was on my way when I ran into you."
It dawned on him that it was late and that they hadn't eaten anything. "Are you hungry? I could get us something to eat."
"Now that you mentioned, I would love to get my hands on a pizza right now."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jarod took the opportunity and called Sydney while he was getting their pizzas. He could've hacked his way into the Centre archives and find the answers he was looking for but he knew that Sydney had probably taken a look at the Nexus files after his first call and that he was able to give more details along with the answers he wanted.
"This is Sydney."
"Raines was wrong, she has enough potential," he confirmed that she indeed was the same girl from the Nexus project.
"Jarod, listen to me. The Nexus project wasn't terminated after all. She was given to foster parents but they work for the Centre and also other Centre personnel has been placed near her."
"What do you mean 'near her'?"
"The files had multiple references to surveillance files and also to other material. Based on those, it would seem that at least one, if not more, of her friends works for the Centre."
"So she's a real-life experiment. And I bet that Raines runs the project."
"He does." It didn't surprise Sydney that Jarod knew this; he always managed to tie things together somehow. Sydney also realized now that the desperation he had heard in Jarod's voice earlier was gone and it had been replaced with anger towards the Centre. He understood his reaction and knew better than to take it personally.
"So he pulled her out of the Pretender project and was then raising his own pretender behind the protective shadows of the Nexus project. It is a shame when he finds out that she's escaped and he can tell no one the whole truth." He smirked and hung up.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
There he was, standing behind the same door as before, but this time his feelings were very different. She was obviously very smart and more importantly, she was like him. He had met smart people before but although they were almost his equals in that way, they were predictable. *With her anything's possible. She fooled me once, though I now know what she is, so does she know me.* Jarod had no plan what to do with her but somehow it felt oddly liberating; he could only be himself. *Whoever that is..*
She had taken a long shower while waiting for his return and was now sitting in the lone chair next to the bed. She felt a little tired but she didn't want to fall asleep before Jarod came back. *I'll just let my eyes rest for a bit.*
He was going to lay the pizza boxes on the table because it appeared that she was asleep. While he was wondering whether to wake her up or not, she opened her eyes stretching her arms and back. He walked a few steps towards her and offered her the top box.
"I hope you like this. I brought you some clothes, too." He showed her the bag and laid it next to the nightstand.
She opened the box and noticed that her pizza had ham and pineapple. "It's my favorite. Did you know this somehow?" Jarod looked at her and wondered how to tell her. "Yes."
"But how?"
He waited until she had started devouring her pizza and took a deep, fortifying breath. "They never let you go. Your foster parents and some others of the people close to you work for the Centre." She was absolutely flabbergasted, but kept insistently chewing on the pizza slices. Jarod told her how the Centre had massive amounts of information on her; all collected by the people she thought she could trust.
He had hacked his way into the Centre archives after he had finished the call with Sydney. It seemed they had stored every bit of information on her: all her habits, her favorite things, things she had said and experienced, people she had met... it was like they were desperately trying to understand her and to find out what made her tick. She wasn't even a human to them, but yet another lab rat, only this time in an invisible labyrinth. With every piece of information had also been stored an alias for the contributor. Skimming through the files, he had seen many aliases, some had only one tidbit in their achievements and others had filled many files. Most of them didn't probably even have anything to do with the Centre.
"They were brought into your life so that the Centre could train you and keep an eye on your progress... You were officially in the Nexus project but you have been also somehow given education on how to use your pretender skills." Only his calm and compassionate voice kept her from breaking down.
She had by now figured out that someone from the Centre was probably following her, that they wouldn't have let her go so easily if she really was in one of their projects. But this... she decided that she wouldn't let them destroy her. *Those bastards!*
Her voice sounded weaker than she had hoped but the resolution in it was clear. "How can I find out who were involved?"
"I will help you." He looked straight into her eyes and she felt instantly better. *At least I have one person whom I can trust.*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jarod -being the perfect gentleman- insisted that he would sleep in the chair, letting Lea have the bed. She didn't want him to feel uncomfortable all night but she sensed that he wasn't ready to share the bed with her, not this soon after what had happened, so she let him have his way.
He couldn't sleep; it wasn't the chair and mostly not even her that kept him awake. It was rare for him to sleep through the whole night, anyway. He heard her slow and steady breathing and watched her in the dimly lit room. She was sleeping on her left side, facing him, and her right side was in fetal position while her left hand was tucked under the pillow and her left leg was flat against the mattress. The thin sheet covered her entirely except for her head but it hugged her curves. He took in her sleeping form in long, languid gazes thinking that, considering the day, she was able to sleep remarkably peacefully.
His laptop had been stored under the bed for the night, but he pulled it out and decided to study more the files Centre had on her. *Maybe I can find some answers.* He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he was doing this partly to get a feeling what it would have been like to grow up in the real world instead of being locked up behind the walls of the Centre.
Each time she shifted her position he froze over the keyboard and watched her until she was again sleeping as peacefully as before. He wasn't envying her life, she might had been free while growing up, but at least he hadn't been living a lie as blatant as she had.
Again, she moved slightly, but this time her breathing quickened and became shallower. After a little while, she emitted a muffled scream and woke up.
"What time is it?" She lifted her head from the pillow to listen to his answer. She knew subconsciously that he wasn't asleep.
"About 2:30 a.m. You've been sleeping for almost three hours." Jarod wondered what her nightmare was about but he didn't want to ask her for he feared that it had something to do with his earlier actions and he didn't want to remind her about it.
She sensed that he avoided something and then realized, what it most likely was. "Oh, don't worry. It wasn't about you," she said soothingly. He was surprised by this, perhaps more about the fact that it wasn't about him than the fact that she had noticed his silent question.
*Technically, I didn't lie to him. That last dream _wasn't_ about him.* But the one before it was. And that had been a nice dream. *Yeah, what an understatement.* The only thing that worried her, was that it might mean that her plan had failed. Although this time there wasn't that overwhelmingly burning need to have him inside her, she still wondered what it would be like the second time around.
*Damn, I could might as well get up, I can't sleep for a while, anyway.* She sat up trying just to get her bearings straight but after a while she became aware that he was studying her. Lea quietly savored the feeling, it wasn't often that a gorgeous man was looking at her that intensely. She had been a sucker for brown eyes as long as she could remember and his were the most wonderful she had ever seen, always conveying so many feelings all at once and always telling exactly what he was thinking.
"So, what have you been up to? I see you're not sleeping." She nodded towards the laptop in his arms.
As the files had told about increasingly intimate things, Jarod had wanted to stop reading but he just couldn't help himself. He knew she had the right to have secrets -while there was some left- and he certainly didn't want to study her as they had done, but he only wanted to understand her.
He didn't want Lea to see the whole extent of the archived information on her. *Not now.* "I was just trying to determine how far the Centre has went this time. They have gathered a lot information on you, so I was making a list of how they have managed it and who were helping them."
Lea closed in on him, so he closed the current file fast and opened a new one. *No reason to let her see that even the most intimate things hadn't been excluded from the files.*
The new file was different from the others. It had no contributor alias and no specific information on her. Instead, it seemed to be some kind of an evaluation of her, conclusions based on her statements and actions. The most worrying part wasn't the cold, analytical way it was written, but the header of the file. *They're tracking her!*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Take your clothes off. Now," urgency filling his voice. Realizing how his statement must have sounded, he quickly explained. "Your file has a reference to a tracking device and I have to remove it before anyone finds us."
This was clearly the moment where she had to decide whether to trust him completely or not. After a few seconds of hesitation, she complied with his command with her mind racing. *Fuck, this is like some serious spy shit.*
Jarod studied her skin meticulously looking for any scars or marks that would indicate that a microchip had been implanted under her skin. He frowned when he noticed an inch long straight scar on her left shoulder, just like what would form after a surgical incision. He felt a tiny lump under it and suddenly produced a pocketknife from his bag.
"This is going hurt for a while." That was the only warning she got before he swiftly cut the device out.
The surprise stifled most of the pain: it was almost too surreal. In light of everything he told her, it shouldn't have surprised her but the small metal object he showed her made it all real. Until that moment, everything could have been fabricated, but not anymore. Now she was in someone else's shoes. And she actually had hoped that he had commanded her to strip for an entirely different reason.
"How come no one's here if they had that thing watching me all this time?" She pressed the wound with a towel Jarod had handed her and pulled her clothes on. Her arm didn't bleed that badly, apparently he knew what he was doing.
"I don't know yet, but I suggest we leave before we find out."
Jarod wrote hastily a note and left it on the table with the tracking device. Then he packed his bag, grabbed it with him and pushed her out the door. Jarod had the car parked alongside of the road that went through the industrial area his lair had been in. They got into the blue Ford and he sped away on the empty road. Just as he reached an intersection to make a right turn, he looked into the rear view mirror noticing two black cars screeching to a halt in front of the very building they had left. *That was a close one.*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"They had just been there," Mr. Lyle summed up, "The tracking device was removed but it had some fresh blood on it, when we reached the site."
"Do we know who was she with?" The wheezing in Raines' voice indicated that he didn't like this turn of events.
"Uh.. well, we found this right next to the chip." Lyle handed him a piece of paper: Thank you for the lovely memories. Jarod.
"I want them both back. Let Miss Parker worry about Jarod. I don't want to let her find about the Nexus project." 'Angry' didn't even begin to describe how Mr. Raines felt. *Some heads will fall now. And I just happen to know which ones.* This unexpected turn of events now bumped up their schedule. *The Triumvirate will not be pleased.*
"You find her. Use the secondary device and get her back here!"
"The second chip? If the Triumvirate finds out about it, they will take action against us."
"Well, then they must not know about it."
Lyle left the office and Mr. Raines thought about the situation. She had been secretly used as a pretender by the Triumvirate. He had a second tracking device installed on her for his personal plans but now it was the only way to get her back. *Though in the Centre I can use her almost as easily whenever I need to. She will be my ticket to the top.* He smiled.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hello, sis. How's the hunt?" Lyle taunted his sister while walking into her office as if it was actually his. He liked to possess information she didn't have so he could throw some bread crumbs at her and remind which one of them really is the brains of the twosome.
"Why, if it isn't the man whose ability to knock went down the toilet with his thumb?" Miss Parker never liked seeing his brother, she still had hard time believing that this monster actually was related to her. She stood up behind her desk to intimidate him, she wasn't tall enough for that but her entire physical appearance added to the effect. She knew that this was her office, her world and she let him know it, too.
Mr. Lyle let it pass because he had the upper hand this time. "So, do you know where everyone's favorite lab rat has been lately?"
She didn't think he deserved an answer, it was _her_ assignment and she certainly didn't report to Lyle. But it was easier to throw dog a bone than listen to her father's lecture on about family and the importance of it. "We have our leads." *Well, we don't. Like he disappeared from the face of the Earth, but the boy _is_ a genius and he never stays under the radar for long. But it's no concern of yours.*
"Then why don't you try this when you hit your collective heads to the wall with the other leads?" Lyle threw a folder on her desk. "Just don't wait too long."
Mr. Lyle headed for the door with a grin, he could imagine how her sister glared at him, but his true victory was in her speechlessness: her quick wit and sharp tongue was rarely bested.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jarod pulled over after he assumed it was safe. They were at the airport. No one had followed them for an hour, but he knew they should keep going so that the track they leave would go cold before anyone picked it up. "I think we should get you on a plane out of here." They got out of the car and headed for the entrance.
"What's the hurry? They can't follow me now, can they?" She didn't want to leave _everything_ behind. There was one person she didn't want to miss and he was walking there with her. *He won't let me stay.. and he won't come with me. So, I will be alone, again.*
"There are people in this town who can recognize you and turn you in. You're not safe here." Jarod looked around. "You can go buy whatever you need while I book you a flight."
They walked briskly to the terminal. Lea was disappointed but she tried her hardest not to let it show. "Ok. I'll see you here in.. What, twenty minutes?"
He checked his watch and frowned. *That's too long, I need to get her on a plane. Now.* "Better make it fifteen." She watched how he strode away. *Now, that I could watch a little more. Damn that it's just not happening.* She disappeared into a shop.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lyle watched how a little dot moved against the superimposed map on the screen of his hand-held. He smiled smugly after realizing that their target was closer than anticipated. *You want to come home that much that you came to see us? Well, soon you'll be where you belong.* When the Centre jet touched down, Lyle cocked his gun and the three sweepers with him followed suit. Just as soon as the jet taxied to a stop, the four men jumped out of the plane.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jarod had been the only customer at this early hour so he waited for her in out-of-the-way corner, busying himself yet again with his laptop. The last file he had seen before they fled deserved more attention. He looked particularly a description of the methods they used to train her Pretender skills. When he had told her about his time in the Pretender project, nothing had seemed familiar to her. He scrolled through the text. There was much more interesting reading than he had time for but he still read some unrelated sentences here and there. *Works better under pressure... Is not easily affected emotionally by pictures of disasters, stays detached unless there are extremely graphical pictures or descriptions...* He had to open another file.
It was a jackpot. Jarod found out that she had been trained by watching TV and movies and reading books. She would go through 'the material' and she would then be engaged to a discussion about it. They had her finding flaws, plot holes, alternative endings and illogicalities. He realized that she hadn't been trained like him; her skills were in analyzing any situation quickly and finding many ways to handle it. Also, she could include people's reactions to her plans. *She doesn't pretend, she just simulates. They trained her to be like a computer!*
He was quite concentrated on the reading but had a good view to the shop. The airport was quiet and his instinct of self-preservation was always active. So when there was a larger group of men closing in on the shop, he noticed it early. *Shit.* Jarod quickly slipped behind the corner. None of the men had fortunately spotted him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A prompt glance at the screen told Lyle that she was near. He slipped it in his pocket and ordered two sweepers to position themselves a bit further to avoid any undeserved attention, but so that she couldn't escape. One sweeper was to remain outside the only door and Lyle entered the shop.
Jarod could see that she was trapped and that there were too many sweepers to devise a direct plan to help her. *If it was only Lyle with one sweeper, maybe two, I could manage.* He put his gray matter to work. He observed the situation just long enough to see that Lyle caught her. She looked like she was about to run, but Lyle showed her the gun he was carrying and then nodded towards the sweepers. Jarod disappeared quietly, he had formulated a plan.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
She had suspected nothing. A man in a white suit had smiled at her when he had walked in but she had never seen him before. *Maybe people have more time to be friendly when it's not the rush hour.* They were the only customers and he had approached her steadily. She was preparing for a friendly small talk but he had skipped that part.
"Hello, Lea." Her first instinct was to run. *He knows who I am. They managed to follow us!* By the time her legs started to move again he grabbed her arm and pulled her close.
"Now, is that a way to greet the man who can take you back home?" His tone turned from deceptively kind to impatient. "I'd suggest that you choose your next move carefully." He let her caught a glimpse of the gun he had under his jacket and pointed at the sweepers.
Her options were effectively narrowed. She could either give in or take a chance running. *Jarod is still out there.*
"You can't use a gun here." She just didn't have the courage to run, for he might be insane enough to actually shoot her.
"Maybe, maybe not. But I can use this." Lyle pulled a knife from his pocket, it wasn't a big one, but it was sharp. He wanted to make a lasting impression on her. "It's perfect for the quieter moments, don't you think. Though the precision suffers without a thumb.. but I've learned to manage." She shuddered at the thought.
*There goes that option.. which leaves me with none.* She wondered where Jarod was and hoped that he was okay. These guys were playing hardball, so they most probably originated from the Centre and that being the case, they would take him along if they found him. As much as she wanted him to swoop in and save the day, she knew that he could do nothing against the four men. *They win.*
Lyle pushed her forward and she took a reluctant step.
"I knew you'd see it my way." He whispered the words in her ear, though she sensed that he was slightly disappointed to be denied an opportunity to use the blade on her. Lyle dragged her out of the shop and the sweepers guarded his flanks as they headed back to the jet.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
*This is not happening.* Lea tried to buy some time by walking as slowly as she could but it did little help; Lyle and one of the sweepers was almost carrying her. When she saw the white-hulled jet, hopelessness took over her mind. *After I'm in that plane, there'll be no way to escape. They can do what they want and I.. can't stop them.* The growing panic inside her made her fight back, but this time Lyle pulled the gun out and held it to her side.
"I can shoot you _now_. We only need your head, so that leaves many body parts we _don't_ need." It had the effect Lyle wished: she wanted to kill him, it was in her eyes, but she stopped fighting and he could almost feel the control he had over her.
They climbed up the stairs and Lyle ordered the captain through the cockpit door to hold takeoff until he said otherwise. *Maybe she knows where Jarod is and I can bring them both back.* The mere idea of the priceless look on Miss Parker's face was gratifying. Lyle shoved Lea on a seat.
She had already figured out why he had ordered the captain to wait. *But what will it take for him to believe me?* She had a bad feeling that she would see the knife again. *What if I'll just play along? He obviously wants to be in control, so what if I'll give him just that?* She was in survival mode, ready to lie, kill and maim if needed.
Lyle was standing right in front of her, being his usual, seemingly charming self. "My name is Mr. Lyle." He paused because it would be more dramatic and drama was what the situation called for. "And before we get you back to the Centre, you'll tell me where Jarod is." She recognized the menace in his eyes.
"I don't know where he is." Lea tried to instill the right amount of fear and frustration in her voice, making her answer sound like she would turn Jarod in in a heartbeat if it were possible.
It wasn't enough to convince Lyle.
"Given Jarod's history he wouldn't leave you alone in the airport. So where is he?" Lyle's patience was running out.
"I told you, I don't know. He left me to buy tickets and drove off to get something. Something about DSAs." Lea prayed that she remembered correctly. Jarod had explained her in the car that the Centre was also after the recordings they had made of his simulations while he had been confined there. He had pointed to the back seat at a silver metal suitcase and labeled it as the DSA player. She eyed Lyle warily, hoping that he now bought it.
"When will he be here?" Lyle took the bait and her brain produced a long list of possible lies. She had to choose one fast.
"He told me to go alone if he didn't show up in half an hour."
"So when?" He began to be irritated, so she had to name a short enough time. She looked at her watch and counted the minutes.
"Fifteen minutes."
Lyle hesitated for a second and a smile formed on his lips. He ordered two sweepers to take position inside the airport and then turned to Lea.
"Good. There's yet time to demonstrate what happens when you lie to me." He fished the knife from his pocket. Lea's eyes widened in fear. Lyle was clearly enjoying himself.
"Want to know how we found you?"
She did want to know but wasn't sure if it was worth finding out. Slowly, she nodded and at that instant Lyle grabbed her by her hair. He held the blade on her throat, letting her feel the cool metal touching her skin. *It's all about first impressions. We won't need the second tracker anymore and it is incriminating evidence, which must be taken care of. Two birds with one stone.* He then pushed her head down and exposed her neck.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lea wanted to fight her way out of Lyle's grip but she could see the last remaining sweeper holding out a gun trained on her legs. *Yeah, what a cliché, shooting someone's kneecaps.* Her focus returned to Lyle. *He can't kill me, he just wants me to be scared of him, he wants control.* But she was in a very different life than the day before and she was afraid.
The blade cut the shorter hair in her neck and scraped her skin. She flinched.
"Oops. Didn't mean to do that." There was no regret in his voice, just amusement. He pushed her head against her legs, not wanting to cause any permanent damage and making the device more accessible.
She felt tears escaping her eyes. *Why me?* She held her breath and waited. That terrifying second seemed to last forever. Then came the realization that the knife was cutting her flesh. The pain came instantly and she screamed -it lasted for another eternity for her.
Lyle was not being gentle with her: he almost carved the device out. When he was done, he pulled her head up again and showed it to her.
"You'll never get away again." He let her go and she slumped in her seat sobbing quietly.
Lyle disappeared for a moment but emerged with a towel: he had washed his hands. There was no blood on his suit. She surveyed the scene but was able to do nothing. He felt powerful seeing the fear in her eyes. *My work here is done.*
"Watch her and don't let her bleed all over the plane," he ordered the sweeper and left. He wanted to personally see Jarod's reaction when he was caught.
The man folded a clean towel and placed it on her neck and told her to stay still in order to stop the bleeding. His voice was almost friendly but he had the gun with him to serve as a reminder of what would happen if she tried to run. Lea thanked him anyway for the decency he showed and curled on her seat. She was too tired to care what would happen when Lyle got back, she just hoped that Jarod would have enough time to run. Then she sunk into blissful unconsciousness.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mr. Lyle was very unaware of the keen eyes that were watching him as he destroyed the tracking device and the hand-held against the tarmac and headed towards the terminal. If looks could kill, he would have been six feet under by now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The sweeper had placed himself so that he could watch her. Not that she would be even attempting to run, but when you're working for Mr. Lyle, there's no room for mistakes. Rustling from the door caught his attention next. The captain of the plane was closing it.
"Hey. What are you doing? Mr. Lyle didn't order takeoff yet." He stood up to confront him, leaving his gun to his seat. Before he could do anything the captain took a swing at him, sending him to the floor. He was about to pounce on the captain but he found himself staring at a gun aimed directly at him. There was nothing he could do.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jarod quickly tied up the sweeper and fastened him to seat on the back, then he rushed to see Lea. She was still unconscious but the wound didn't bleed that badly anymore. He decided to let her rest.
His big plan was to sneak into the Centre jet before Mr. Lyle and his posse returned and pretend to be the pilot. The plan had a few gaps, which required improvisation, the greatest challenge being how he could avoid being seen and distract the sweepers. Luckily, there had been enough time to reach the jet and therefore Lyle had no idea that the real captain was out of play.
Jarod had had a few ideas of getting rid of the sweepers and possibly Lyle, too, but Lea had provided a story that left her relatively unguarded. He wished that he could have stopped Lyle from hurting her, but it would have been too risky. At least the second tracking device was history and she was free.
He fastened Lea's seatbelt and climbed into the cockpit.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"We recovered the Centre jet, but there was no trace of her or Jarod." Raines was sizzling with anger. It should have been a simple assignment: bring her back. But Lyle had gone after Jarod and his track record with Jarod wasn't that great. "You will be the one answering to the Triumvirate."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
It was a short flight to a bigger city where it was easier to lose anyone possibly following them.
Jarod knelt beside her and called her name softly, but she didn't react. He reached to stroke her knee tenderly. "Lea, time to wake." It was the touch that ultimately woke her up. When she opened her eyes, Jarod told her to stay still and opened her seatbelt.
Her brain tried desperately to fire synapses to get a handle on the situation and to pass on the information she had. "Mr. Lyle is here... He's looking for you."
"I know. I stole the jet." He helped her to lean forward and removed the towel carefully. "We're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy." They hadn't been in Kansas in the first place, but he attempted to ease her mind by the reference. Apparently, it worked because he noticed her relaxing slightly. For her popular culturally oriented mind the message was clear and she attempted a smile. *Though I left Kansas the moment I met you.*
Jarod found a first-aid kit and cleaned the wound. She changed into one of his T-shirts; running around with a bloody shirt wouldn't probably be that smart. He had decided to rent a car and get as far as they could, the rest could be planned on the road.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
They had been driving for solid eight hours; it was 2 p.m. Lea had slept for a few hours and then, after breakfast, she had taken the wheel, letting Jarod get some long overdue rest. She liked watching him, gorgeous as he was, taking in every little detail she could, burning them into her mind so she'd always have them with her.
"Was I out long?" He yawned and saw her fighting a smile.
"I'd say about four hours." Her smile grew a little wider.
"What?" He was curious about her not-so-subtle grin.
"Oh, um.. Did you know that you talk in your sleep? Or at least this time you did." It wasn't anything compromising per se, but she would have been the first one to admit that her imagination was sometimes overactive. "It sounded like you were talking to someone called Miss Parker."
She classified his silence as a little embarrassed, but without knowing who Miss Parker was, she couldn't discern if it was because he had uttered her name out loud or the revelation that he talked in his sleep.
"So... Are you hungry yet? I could use some food." As cute as he looked little flustered, she didn't want to embarrass him further.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
After lunch, Jarod settled in the driver's seat wondering how he had slept for so long. Perhaps it was the open road, the lack of the Centre-based dangers and another pair of vigilant eyes.
While he concentrated on driving, she considered her options and simulated the possible consequences and outcomes. Jarod had earlier told her how they had trained her and to what end. She had a hard time believing that not everyone could think so far ahead, especially since she had done it as early as she remembered. She had used her talent -not even realizing it- to find out more about Jarod. She was aware of her constant need to understand and organize the world around her; it was unavoidable.
"Why haven't you disappeared from them?" She strove to understand his choices. "I mean, you could. They wouldn't find you."
"I need them. They're the only way to find my family." He wondered what spurred her question.
"But you don't need _them_. You need their information... and you're good with computers." Jarod felt that she was going somewhere with this, but wasn't sure what she had in mind.
"Not everything is found on a computer." She contemplated this for a while.
"Who is Miss Parker?"
"Why do you ask?" Actually answering her question would be almost impossible.
"Your dream... It sounded like she's very important to you."
*So, she is analyzing me... I did read her files, maybe this is only fair. Maybe she sees something I can't.* Being scrutinized wasn't easy for him given his past, but the prospect of finding out what part Miss Parker really plays in his life was too much to give up. He liked to believe that his childhood friend was in there somewhere, under the cool facade. She was wronged and he considered it his duty to try and help her. All his tricks were meant to serve as reminders that he would be there for her; she was allowed to have feelings.
Ignoring the training Lea received, he answered her question as truthfully as he could. "We were friends a long time ago. Now, she's the one they put after me."
"I see. You allow the cat and mouse thing to go on because of her."
"It's not that simple." *And yet it is. If it weren't for her, I _would be_ behind a computer.*
She thought that she would soon cross the fine line between finding out more about him and interrogating him; his words were meant to end the current conversation. *Maybe if I could hear Miss Parker's side of the story...* Jarod had helped her and she wanted to pay her debt in a manner she was uniquely qualified to: by analyzing his situation. Only, this was hardly the place for it.
After a thoughtful silence, their gentle chat about world and all its mysteries continued. Jarod was happy to found someone who could provide answers to many of his questions about popular culture and the ways of the world. Lea felt good to be useful and to get fresh views of old things.
When -around 5:30 p.m.- she voiced out that she was hungry, Jarod teased her about how she could eat all the time. Sure, his stomach had been growling, too, but he liked to made her smile and to get some witty remark from her. It somehow reminded him of Miss Parker.
They drove a little further, so that Jarod could reserve a decent hotel room for them, courtesy of the Centre, of course. Leaving their meager belongings in the room, they headed for the restaurant downstairs.
Lea managed to put aside her questions and just to enjoy dinner and Jarod's company. *This feels almost normal. A nice restaurant, good food... and a handsome date.* The casual conversation resumed, and even her mind stopped analyzing everything, getting lost somewhere between his eyes and his words. Only the first notes of a song she recognized as Bryan Adams' Heaven -one of her favorites-, succeeded to break through the wall between her and the world.
"Would you dance with me? I love this song." Jarod was taken by surprise but he stood up and led them to the dance floor.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lea never had been much of a dancer but the song was a slow one so that it didn't matter. She held her other hand around his waist, feeling his well-built muscles under the fabric of his shirt. He held her other hand close to him and his other hand was draped around her shoulders. *He's so warm and strong.. I could get used to this.* As the song went on she snuggled closer to him. Finally, her head was resting against his chest and she was listening to his heartbeat and breathing in his delicious, earthy scent. The world could have ended around them but she would have remained untouched in his arms. *This is what being safe feels like.*
Her quiet but deep sigh filled with contentment and longing didn't escape him. On one hand, she was million miles away and on the other, it seemed that there was no place she'd rather be. For Jarod, that moment was a glimpse of the future: the peace he could have when he found his family had in his imagination always felt just like that.
He was treading lightly around her because of the Nexus project but now he allowed himself to be carried away by that moment. Her plan had succeeded; otherwise they wouldn't be able to keep their hands -and other various body parts- off each other, like they had done after their first encounter. *No one has that much self-control.*
In her opinion, she had been on a slightly different plane of existence than other people since she had grown up. It wasn't like she was better than they were but simply more aware of things. For that reason, she had always -in some far corner of her mind- been lonely. Of course, she could enjoy company and had been happy with her boyfriends -the three of them, now all her ex-boyfriends- but there was always a part of her life they didn't even realize existed. With Jarod holding her, there wasn't that empty space anymore, she wasn't alone. *My universe is now complete.*
As the song faded away, he pulled himself slowly from their embrace. Their eyes fixed on each other, she really wished that he would kiss her but instead, he let go of her with a smile and headed for their table. *So, he's not interested.* A wave of disappointment washed over her in that awkward moment.
"What if we called it a day? I must be more tired than I thought." She gave him a semi-tired smile and hoped that he bought it.
"Well, we do have early morning so why not." He saw through her effort: she was sad, not tired.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Neither of them said a word during the elevator ride.
*Shit. That's just great.. First, he shows me that it's possible to fill that empty void and then, he's not interested in me. You stupid woman, what were you thinking! That he would hold me in his arms forever only because we have some weird lab rat experience in common? Jeez, what are you? Thirteen?*
Lea avoided his gaze and kept her eyes fixed at the floor. She needed some time to compose herself and to forget whatever had just happened on the dance floor before she could face those intense brown eyes of his.
She did steal one brief look of him but it didn't go unnoticed. He was leaning against the opposite wall, his legs crossed at ankle height with his arms in his jacket pockets and eyes closed. *And he just oozes confidence.. and infinite coolness.* Lea had always felt greatly attracted by men who had lots of self-confidence. *God damn heart breaker!*
Women were -to certain extent- still quite a mystery to Jarod, specifically the way they tried to communicate silently. Sometimes they clearly operated under the assumption that men can read their minds.. and if not, then there's hell to pay. *This must be one of those times. But what is it she wants me to do?*
As Jarod opened the door for her, he noted that she didn't even try to keep physical distance to him, so he decided to bravely ask what had made her insulate herself from him emotionally. She heard the door shut but when he didn't make another move, she knew that now she was in trouble.
"Did I do something wrong?" The sincerity in his voice was almost like a child's. She turned slowly to face him. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."
*Damn, he's perceptive. I can't lie to him, he would notice it at some point..* She drew deep breath and sat down on her bed. "You didn't. It felt _very_ comfortable.."
"What is it then?"
"I don't think that this was mentioned in those Nexus files, so you're the first one to know.. I've always felt being on the outside looking in. Like I'd know things and see things that other people don't. And it has sometimes made me feel lonely."
He anticipated that the explanation was coming and quietly sat next to her.
"But I had gotten used to it. Until now.. I had no idea that it was possible to be without that loneliness. So, I just wanted more." Tears threatened to escape her eyes.
Jarod was very familiar with the feeling she had just described. Being a pretender made it possible to see the world as it was instead of seeing it from just one point of view. At times, he had encountered the loneliness as well. At that moment he knew what she had wanted.
He reached out to touch her hand. Her eyes followed his fingers for a while and then she turned to face him. She didn't know what to say, she only hoped that this time his actions would be less heart breaking.
He gently cupped her face, studying every emotion behind those storm cloud gray toned eyes. She tried to will him to move closer, being too afraid even to think anything else. His lips radiated the warmth his eyes always possessed. The initial touch was tender, but when she gave in, the kiss deepened and left her entirely incapacitated.
When she gasped for air, she wondered how could a simple kiss hold such intimacy. However, it was everything she had hoped and expected. *Maybe he already knows me better than I know myself.*
"And how much more did you want?" Jarod was only being careful, he could go through with this, but he needed her to be the one who makes the rules. "I need to you to say it."
An image of those same lips, but only more aggressive and demanding, came to her: the reason for his words. He was trying his damnedest not to hurt her and his protectiveness made her answer stuck to her throat. *I want everything. I want you. Now.*
"I'm ready to take what you are willing to give." There was a hint of playfulness in her voice, hidden behind the need, just enough for him to know that she was fully aware of what she was getting into.
What began as Jarod sweeping Lea's sadness from her mind, ended in mutual passion as they both tried to fill the void within each other. Not registering the outside world anymore, they got rid of their clothes less than gracefully but fast. They spent a long time just touching each other, fingers and lips working fiercely to find every square inch of their bodies; the sensation of hot skin just fueling the passion, taking it into a whole different level.
She had ended up on top, her long wavy hair tickling his cheek; he ran his hand gently through it. The fire in his amazingly beautiful brown eyes was mirrored in hers. *More.* It remained the last rational thought she was able to form before she impaled herself on him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
She reveled in the feeling of his hand wrapped around her waist, his slow steady breathing in her neck and his warm body pressed against hers in every possible spot. He had worked his way to the empty part of her universe and settled in. *Too bad I can't really have this.. that I can't be in his life like this.* He had given her hope and a memory of him, of a better world, but it was time to let go. She concentrated on that moment with every one of her senses and stored the information in her mind, to be accessed whenever she needed. *And boy, will I need it.*
Reluctantly, she rose to her feet and shuffled to the bathroom. Under the warm shower her focus shifted back to her situation. *I have to leave soon, in the morning at the latest. And they must not find me again.* When emerged from shower, Jarod was sitting at the table with his laptop. The scene before her eyes felt so familiar, like this was something that happened every day.
He noticed right away that Lea almost seemed to radiate energy. Her long hair was flowing and she smiled a little; he had noticed that she smiled quite often, even in these weird circumstances. "I took the liberty to plan your final disappearance. I opened two bank accounts for you and provided them with a nest egg. Have you decided yet where you will settle?"
"I'm thinking Colorado. Hopefully, they don't know to look for me there." She took a chair for herself and they booked the flights and even a bought a house for her online. When everything was taken care of, she decided to ask him if she could see the files the Centre had on her.
"Are you sure you're up to it?"
"It's best that I know what they know." There was steely determination in her voice.
He hacked his way into the Centre archives -as he had done countless times before- and turned the screen towards her, letting her have some privacy. The text and the frequent pictures flashed before her eyes when she scrolled through the files. Just flipping from one file to another revealed the extent of whatever project she was in.
She spent over half an hour with the files, glancing through them randomly and trying to determine what they didn't know or hadn't found out. Some things even she herself had long forgotten and some she had kept secret from everyone else. *Shit, this is like my diary.. but this only has _everything_ in it.* Finally, she concluded that all things that she had said or written or done were most likely in the files; only her most private thoughts had remained a secret -there weren't many of them. Occasionally she had explained things to Jarod who had listened patiently and observed her reactions. *At least they raised her to be strong. Or is it her own doing?*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
They shared the bed for the night, but kept their hands to themselves. He seemed to have unresolved issues in his life and she didn't want to complicate things further for either of them.
She was the first one awake in the morning. The alarm in her watch hadn't sounded yet, but she got up anyway. There was nothing to pack, so she paced around the bathroom nervously after she had gotten herself ready to go. *Should I wake him up or not? He won't like it, if he finds me gone, but I can't bear to say goodbye to him. God, he's done so much for me.* Making her way stealthily to the table, she wrote him a note, took a one final look at him and left for the airport.
Jarod heard the door lock and opened his eyes. He had been aware of her movements but found it extremely hard to form any words to say. So, he had spied on her and now that she was gone, he went straight to the note.
*******************
Jarod,
I can't even imagine what would have become of my life, if I hadn't met you. Thank you for everything. I owe you big time, so if you ever need me, you know where I'm going. I hope I will see you again.
Dorothy of Kansas :)
*******************
He had to smirk at her signature. *She'll be alright. And maybe we'll see each other some day.*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
