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A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. It’s now Finished! Last chapter! Look for the sequel, “Black Cat in a Hat”, the tale of a drunken Lyle and designated driver Willie, coming soon! Hope you enjoy this! R/R!
Green Peas and Sam
by RRP
I never thought my life would end this way– I mean, I tote a gun and get shot at on a weekly basis. But now, I’m lying unconscious in a park with what I can only assume is a heart attack. And all because of a little boy. That certain little boy is probably halfway across the state by now with some pervert dressed up as a clown. If I ever actually wake up, Miss Parker’s going to kill me. Kill me dead. Hell, if I wake up, I’m going to kill me.
It’s ironic, really. In a morbid type of way. I spent all day wishing the kid would shut up and go away; and now that I can’t hear him, not that he’s gone, I want him back. Life sucks sometimes, and I don’t even know if I have much of it left. If I am really dying, then I now know that your life doesn’t really flash before your eyes. Maybe that’s a good thing...
James pushed the friendly clown’s nose, squealing when it made a happy ‘beep’ sound. The clown laughed, and studied the little boy in his arms carefully. James went on to amuse himself with the rainbow colored wig, and the balloons the clown held in his James-less hand.
“How’d you get way out here, little guy? Did Miss Parker bring you today?” James shook his head, and pulled at a colorful button.
“Sissy had ‘ork to do. Sam is ‘atching me today.” James swivelled in the clowns arms to see if he could spot the man who had faithfully followed him throughout the day, and his brow furrowed in confusion when he saw Sam on the ground, with a small panicking crowd gathering around him. The clown followed James’ gaze, and frowned, a battle going on behind his eyes.
“Come on, James.” He strode over to the small crowd, handed James the balloons as he set him down. He ripped off the wig, and tossed it over his shoulder. Whispers from the crowd grew louder, and one lady questioned loudly,
“What are you doing?”
“I’m a doctor.” The clown assured them, his natural brown hair now visible. He found Sam’s pulse, and sighed in relief. The second step he took was to pull back Sam’s jacket, and remove the all-too-familiar 9mm from it’s holster. Several people gasped as he did so, and the clown started giving commands before anyone could speak.
“Does anyone have a cell phone? Call 911. He’s had a heart-attack.”
“What about his little boy?” Someone asked even as the clown heard the beeping of cell phone buttons being pushed. He answered the question as he reached for the phone,
“It’s not his son. The boy is...my nephew, and this man is a friend of his mother’s.” The phone was handed to him, and he could hear a rustle of doubt breeze it’s way through the crowd. He ignored it, and informed the operator of the situation in a calm tone. The phone was returned, and the clown checked Sam over again.
Sam’s eyes flickered, and opened slowly. It was obvious that he was trying to force his eyes to focus, and he slowly managed to do so. The clown loomed above him, minus the colorful wig, and he saw the hair. The hair was all it took.
“Jarod?” He asked incredulously. Jarod nodded grimly, and patted him on the shoulder.
“Afraid so. Don’t move, the ambulance should be here in a moment.” The crowd had already started to drift away, and Sam deemed it safe to attempt a capture. He reached for his gun, and growled when he found that it was missing.
“Give it back, Labrat.” Jarod shook his head with a frown, as Sam ignored his earlier instructions and sat up with a grunt.
“Is that all you ever think about? God, Sam, you just had a heart attack!” Jarod put an extra emphasis on the words ‘heart attack’ as if to prove his point, and Sam shrugged.
“I’ve had worse, and you’re coming with me.” In the distance, and nearing them by the second, a siren sounded. Jarod looked off in the direction of the sound, then back to Sam.
“No, you’re going with them.” Jarod stood to wave to the paramedics, and Sam sighed. He turned with a start when he felt a little body by his shoulder. James stood there, looking at him, concern clear on his face.
“You ‘kay, Sam? You ‘kay, right?” James put a hand on Sam’s shoulder and patted it assuredly. “I get you a ban’aid., ‘kay?” Sam chuckled and winced, and then nodded to the little boy.
“I’ll be okay, kiddo.” The paramedics reached them with a stretcher, and Sam waved them back as he stood up. Fire laced it’s way through his chest, and he nearly fell again, but this time he caught himself and refrained from blacking out.
“I’ll watch James, Sam. And leave your gun with Miss Parker.” Jarod assured him, for the sake of James.
“Aren’t you afraid she’ll shoot you?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.
“She has morals, Sam. At home, at least. She won’t, not with James there.” Jarod picked up James to keep him from following Sam and the paramedics, noting with a frown the heavy sag of Sam’s shoulders as he walked away.
Jarod brightened, for the sake of the little boy, and turned away. James’ face twisted into a pout as he realized his previous playmate was leaving, and Jarod tickled him to make him laugh. The small trick worked, and James giggled and squirmed.
“Let’s go back to your sister’s house, okay?”
Miss Parker sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose to ward off an oncoming headache, and entered the house. She prayed to God that James was already asleep, and that Sam was ready with a good report. As she pushed open the door, however, she heard the resounding squeals of little James.
Thunder upstairs caught her by surprise, and there was an equally playful shout that didn’t sound quite like Sam. A confused look flittered past Miss Parker’s eyes, and she began the trek up the stairs to find out what was going on. As she reached the top of the stairs, everything happened in a rush– James flew past her, followed by her ever elusive prey.
Jarod was in her house.
Shock hit along with a dozen hurried questions running through her mind. Jarod had apparently noticed her, for he had caught James and they were both looking at her expectantly. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing would come out.
“Sissy!” James shouted gleefully, and Jarod put him down so he could run to her. She knelt down to give him a quick hug, but continued looking at Jarod with a questioningly look on her face.
“What’s going on?” She finally managed to demand. James jumped up and down shouting incoherently, so great was his excitement. Jarod watched James for a minute, and then spoke.
“I’m going to go now. Sam’s gun is in the kitchen, on top of the fridge. He’ll probably want it back soon.”
“Where is he?” Miss Parker snapped, and Jarod fought back a grin.
“James was a bit too much for Sam, I think. You can ask him to explain your couch, and the living room wall, and the landscaping. I don’t doubt there’s even more he’ll be thrilled to reveal. What little I do know is that he finally resorted to taking James to the park, and James got away. I recognized him, and picked him up, and poor Sam panicked.”
“Where is he?” Miss Parker ground out, quite near the end of her small amount of patience.
“I’m sure the hospital will let him out soon,” Jarod continued as if he hadn’t heard her. “That particular type of myocardial infraction usually doesn’t even keep people overnight. He’ll probably be by for his car, soon.”
“He had a heart attack?” Miss Parker asked incredulously, looking at her younger brother in disbelief. “Good god, James. What did you do to him?” James looked up at her innocently, and she suddenly realized how much he really comprehended. The toddler was too smart for his own good. He blinked, and thought for a moment, then replied in the clearest English she had ever heard him use.
“I was wreaking revenge upon the universe. Sam was the closet target.” He lifted his arms to her, and she picked him up with a glance at Jarod.
“Alright, smarty pants. What did you do?” She inquired, and James squirmed uneasily.
“I...” He paused, and she nodded to him. “I...” James shrugged, and sighed. “I did a bunch of bad stuff. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Pajamas, buster. Now.” Miss Parker put him down, and pushed him in the direction of her bedroom. James hung his head and trundled off in the direction he had been shoved in. As soon as he had rounded the corner, she started laughing. Jarod’s confusion was clear, and it just made her laugh all the harder.
“I fail to see the humor in this,” He shrugged, and frowned at her.
“God, Jarod. We spend five years chasing you around and Sam and I both survive only god-knows-what, and then he spends one day chasing my little brother around and has a heart attack because of it. I think James has you beat.”
A grin crept onto Jarod’s face, and before long he was laughing with her. James, just around the corner, smirked mischievously. After few minutes, their laughter died down and Jarod sighed.
“I should go.”
“I’ll let you go this time, Wonderboy. You’re lucky Lyle didn’t show up.” Miss Parker told him, the warning in her voice clear.
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about Lyle. He and Willie are following a false lead on me tonight.” Jarod told her with his trademarked smirk.
“Really? Where to?” Miss Parker couldn’t help asking.
“A Jazz club.” Jarod answered, as he brushed past her and went down the stairs. Miss Parker nodded, and went into her bed room, to find James with his pajamas half on, carefully pouring a glass of water over the distressed rabbit.
“James!” The resounding yell echoed throughout the night and the neighborhood, and a little less than a block away, sitting in a taxi cab, Sam Adams grinned.
by RRP
I never thought my life would end this way– I mean, I tote a gun and get shot at on a weekly basis. But now, I’m lying unconscious in a park with what I can only assume is a heart attack. And all because of a little boy. That certain little boy is probably halfway across the state by now with some pervert dressed up as a clown. If I ever actually wake up, Miss Parker’s going to kill me. Kill me dead. Hell, if I wake up, I’m going to kill me.
It’s ironic, really. In a morbid type of way. I spent all day wishing the kid would shut up and go away; and now that I can’t hear him, not that he’s gone, I want him back. Life sucks sometimes, and I don’t even know if I have much of it left. If I am really dying, then I now know that your life doesn’t really flash before your eyes. Maybe that’s a good thing...
James pushed the friendly clown’s nose, squealing when it made a happy ‘beep’ sound. The clown laughed, and studied the little boy in his arms carefully. James went on to amuse himself with the rainbow colored wig, and the balloons the clown held in his James-less hand.
“How’d you get way out here, little guy? Did Miss Parker bring you today?” James shook his head, and pulled at a colorful button.
“Sissy had ‘ork to do. Sam is ‘atching me today.” James swivelled in the clowns arms to see if he could spot the man who had faithfully followed him throughout the day, and his brow furrowed in confusion when he saw Sam on the ground, with a small panicking crowd gathering around him. The clown followed James’ gaze, and frowned, a battle going on behind his eyes.
“Come on, James.” He strode over to the small crowd, handed James the balloons as he set him down. He ripped off the wig, and tossed it over his shoulder. Whispers from the crowd grew louder, and one lady questioned loudly,
“What are you doing?”
“I’m a doctor.” The clown assured them, his natural brown hair now visible. He found Sam’s pulse, and sighed in relief. The second step he took was to pull back Sam’s jacket, and remove the all-too-familiar 9mm from it’s holster. Several people gasped as he did so, and the clown started giving commands before anyone could speak.
“Does anyone have a cell phone? Call 911. He’s had a heart-attack.”
“What about his little boy?” Someone asked even as the clown heard the beeping of cell phone buttons being pushed. He answered the question as he reached for the phone,
“It’s not his son. The boy is...my nephew, and this man is a friend of his mother’s.” The phone was handed to him, and he could hear a rustle of doubt breeze it’s way through the crowd. He ignored it, and informed the operator of the situation in a calm tone. The phone was returned, and the clown checked Sam over again.
Sam’s eyes flickered, and opened slowly. It was obvious that he was trying to force his eyes to focus, and he slowly managed to do so. The clown loomed above him, minus the colorful wig, and he saw the hair. The hair was all it took.
“Jarod?” He asked incredulously. Jarod nodded grimly, and patted him on the shoulder.
“Afraid so. Don’t move, the ambulance should be here in a moment.” The crowd had already started to drift away, and Sam deemed it safe to attempt a capture. He reached for his gun, and growled when he found that it was missing.
“Give it back, Labrat.” Jarod shook his head with a frown, as Sam ignored his earlier instructions and sat up with a grunt.
“Is that all you ever think about? God, Sam, you just had a heart attack!” Jarod put an extra emphasis on the words ‘heart attack’ as if to prove his point, and Sam shrugged.
“I’ve had worse, and you’re coming with me.” In the distance, and nearing them by the second, a siren sounded. Jarod looked off in the direction of the sound, then back to Sam.
“No, you’re going with them.” Jarod stood to wave to the paramedics, and Sam sighed. He turned with a start when he felt a little body by his shoulder. James stood there, looking at him, concern clear on his face.
“You ‘kay, Sam? You ‘kay, right?” James put a hand on Sam’s shoulder and patted it assuredly. “I get you a ban’aid., ‘kay?” Sam chuckled and winced, and then nodded to the little boy.
“I’ll be okay, kiddo.” The paramedics reached them with a stretcher, and Sam waved them back as he stood up. Fire laced it’s way through his chest, and he nearly fell again, but this time he caught himself and refrained from blacking out.
“I’ll watch James, Sam. And leave your gun with Miss Parker.” Jarod assured him, for the sake of James.
“Aren’t you afraid she’ll shoot you?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.
“She has morals, Sam. At home, at least. She won’t, not with James there.” Jarod picked up James to keep him from following Sam and the paramedics, noting with a frown the heavy sag of Sam’s shoulders as he walked away.
Jarod brightened, for the sake of the little boy, and turned away. James’ face twisted into a pout as he realized his previous playmate was leaving, and Jarod tickled him to make him laugh. The small trick worked, and James giggled and squirmed.
“Let’s go back to your sister’s house, okay?”
Miss Parker sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose to ward off an oncoming headache, and entered the house. She prayed to God that James was already asleep, and that Sam was ready with a good report. As she pushed open the door, however, she heard the resounding squeals of little James.
Thunder upstairs caught her by surprise, and there was an equally playful shout that didn’t sound quite like Sam. A confused look flittered past Miss Parker’s eyes, and she began the trek up the stairs to find out what was going on. As she reached the top of the stairs, everything happened in a rush– James flew past her, followed by her ever elusive prey.
Jarod was in her house.
Shock hit along with a dozen hurried questions running through her mind. Jarod had apparently noticed her, for he had caught James and they were both looking at her expectantly. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing would come out.
“Sissy!” James shouted gleefully, and Jarod put him down so he could run to her. She knelt down to give him a quick hug, but continued looking at Jarod with a questioningly look on her face.
“What’s going on?” She finally managed to demand. James jumped up and down shouting incoherently, so great was his excitement. Jarod watched James for a minute, and then spoke.
“I’m going to go now. Sam’s gun is in the kitchen, on top of the fridge. He’ll probably want it back soon.”
“Where is he?” Miss Parker snapped, and Jarod fought back a grin.
“James was a bit too much for Sam, I think. You can ask him to explain your couch, and the living room wall, and the landscaping. I don’t doubt there’s even more he’ll be thrilled to reveal. What little I do know is that he finally resorted to taking James to the park, and James got away. I recognized him, and picked him up, and poor Sam panicked.”
“Where is he?” Miss Parker ground out, quite near the end of her small amount of patience.
“I’m sure the hospital will let him out soon,” Jarod continued as if he hadn’t heard her. “That particular type of myocardial infraction usually doesn’t even keep people overnight. He’ll probably be by for his car, soon.”
“He had a heart attack?” Miss Parker asked incredulously, looking at her younger brother in disbelief. “Good god, James. What did you do to him?” James looked up at her innocently, and she suddenly realized how much he really comprehended. The toddler was too smart for his own good. He blinked, and thought for a moment, then replied in the clearest English she had ever heard him use.
“I was wreaking revenge upon the universe. Sam was the closet target.” He lifted his arms to her, and she picked him up with a glance at Jarod.
“Alright, smarty pants. What did you do?” She inquired, and James squirmed uneasily.
“I...” He paused, and she nodded to him. “I...” James shrugged, and sighed. “I did a bunch of bad stuff. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Pajamas, buster. Now.” Miss Parker put him down, and pushed him in the direction of her bedroom. James hung his head and trundled off in the direction he had been shoved in. As soon as he had rounded the corner, she started laughing. Jarod’s confusion was clear, and it just made her laugh all the harder.
“I fail to see the humor in this,” He shrugged, and frowned at her.
“God, Jarod. We spend five years chasing you around and Sam and I both survive only god-knows-what, and then he spends one day chasing my little brother around and has a heart attack because of it. I think James has you beat.”
A grin crept onto Jarod’s face, and before long he was laughing with her. James, just around the corner, smirked mischievously. After few minutes, their laughter died down and Jarod sighed.
“I should go.”
“I’ll let you go this time, Wonderboy. You’re lucky Lyle didn’t show up.” Miss Parker told him, the warning in her voice clear.
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about Lyle. He and Willie are following a false lead on me tonight.” Jarod told her with his trademarked smirk.
“Really? Where to?” Miss Parker couldn’t help asking.
“A Jazz club.” Jarod answered, as he brushed past her and went down the stairs. Miss Parker nodded, and went into her bed room, to find James with his pajamas half on, carefully pouring a glass of water over the distressed rabbit.
“James!” The resounding yell echoed throughout the night and the neighborhood, and a little less than a block away, sitting in a taxi cab, Sam Adams grinned.
