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Rating: strong NC 17 going to be XXX
Note: feel warned, this is very graphical
Summary: don’t even think that there could be a plot because there isn’t one… its just all about smut.Thanks to Mel for the great beta again :: thx ::
LOVE FOOL
by
Mary Eve Parker
I was standing, still naked at the window of the motel room staring outside of it. It was snowing again. I was standing there, the heater under the window was just heating the small space between me and the wall, nothing more. The room was freezing cold – the way we both like it.
“Stop torturing yourself Parker you just can't change it.” Jarod said, lying in the bed behind.
“We agreed when we started this Jarod that it was just sex. Nothing less, nothing more that’s it. We agreed that we’re not going to let it go any further than that or get emotionally involved” I turned around and stared at him.
He was lying in the bed we just had shared before.
“Just three and a half weeks into this tell me that you not only have come to realize that you have feelings for me and can't do this anymore, but you think that you are in love with me? I mean come on Jarod what am I supposed to do?”
I am sure that I looked confused when I addressed this to him. I grabbed my blouse and underwear and disappeared to the bathroom.
I stood under the shower, letting the hot and hard water spray my face. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t.
But maybe we should start when this all started about 25 days ago, 25 short days and long nights ago …
~*~**~*~
I was tired and just came home from Ohio or was it Kansas. I couldn’t remember or didn’t care about it. So I opened the door, let my bag fall down, my purse next to it, grabbed a cigarette from the table next to the door and headed to the kitchen for something to drink.
On my way to the kitchen, as frustrated as I was, I unbuttoned my dress jacket, let it fall to the floor. My pantyhose joined this puddle and next to it was my skirt. I was just in my blouse and underwear when I reached the refrigerator. I hated my life, this job and somehow I felt chased by my past and this house.
Everybody seems to tease me, hurt me or just kicks my ass off – and I really haven’t a clue why. But on the other hand I don’t care, like most of the time. It was snowing outside, nearly end of November, nearly. And fucking Christmas time is showing up soon – god I hate this time of the year.
Maybe I should take my whole left over holiday in December and head to Alaska, get a lonely cottage somewhere and read all the month. Not going out, not doing anything and sleep over Christmas. God ….
I got the bottle of Whiskey out of the fridge, put a lot of ice into a glass and headed to the TV. Something had to be on, had to. I zipped around but there wasn’t even a damned talk show which didn’t annoy me. Fuck. What should that be. I slowly got off the sofa, opened the drawer under the VCR and searched through the tapes.
“When have I bought all this … Legends of the fall … Out of Africa … Brubaker … Moulin Rouge … Evita … who gave them to me? … “, I was talking to myself “Titanic … One fine day … Marlene … Nell … God, isn’t he big … 1492 …” I went back one, “God, isn’t he big?” I wondered what this would be. I leaned down a little further, lightened the lamp next to the TV and studied the cover carefully. This was a porn! God!
I didn't remember ever owning one, or even watched one and not at all a porn made for females. A porn made for females – this was a headline on the back of the cover. Should I really open the original? It was brand new. I opened it slowly somehow like I could ruin it if I open it too fast.
The plastic was off slowly I put it into the VCR and sat back on the sofa. I couldn’t believe that I was watching a porn in within a couple of minutes. I zapped to the VCR channel on my TV and hit the play button.
God! This was funny. A man. A woman. She was wearing a leather costume, was a tall Blondie with a normal body, nothing Pamela Anderson style. The man, I think he was named Oliver, was in jeans and a white open hanging dress shirt. His hair was short and a little wet. He seemed to be a gardener or something like that for her – typical!
Now I remember why I never watched a porn because they were so senseless. No senseless isn’t the right word , they were fucking senseless. There wasn’t a sense even behind a scene – sorry I forgot that intercourse makes sense.
Shit.
I watched it about half an hour – nothing important happened. She was fucking him and he was fucking her and the other way around again. If I would have fallen asleep between it, I wouldn’t have even missed a dialogue. Has there ever been a dialogue in it? I was a little curious about it.
Suddenly I had the feeling that somebody was in the room with me. I slightly shifted on the sofa, lifted my head a little. Nobody there. Hm …
This movie was boring – just a continuation of ins and outs, but what do you expect of porn movies on the other hand?
Suddenly I felt a cold breeze on my skin. Have I left the terrace door open? Not that I remember.
I got out off under the rug and headed to the door, closed it and when I turned around he was sitting on my warmed place. Him! Why couldn’t it just be somebody else, somebody who I don’t need so much? He was around all the time and now he had caught me watching a porn flick.
The next moment I sat next to him. Jarod was just sitting there in his jeans and a warm dark blue shirt. He looked handsome. God. He was handsome, like all the years we were playing this game of running and chasing now. A couple of years just playing a senseless game. Senseless like this porn.
“What do you want here?” I asked him and got myself under the warm rug again.
“I wanted to see you and … “ he tried to say.
All of a sudden I felt his hand behind my back pulling me towards him, letting my head rest on his chest, stroking my hair carefully.
“Is it that bad?” he asked and nodded into the direction of the TV and I just nodded. I don’t know why I did it but I did so, let him know what I was feeling lonely.
His hand took its way over my back to my rear end. His hands were so warm and soft. Nobody said a word. His hand was on my hip. My head moved from his chest to his lap, rested there. Shifting a little I laid on my back and watched him. His big dark eyes were connected with mine. They seemed to be bigger than ever before.
“Why do you watch such a bad porn?” he asked me. I didn’t respond. Jarod’s hand rested on my belly, making small circles. “More” was the only thing I got out of my mouth.
A couple of minutes later we were in my bedroom.
“Just sex Jarod, nothing emotional, this is just sex.”
“Fine … whatever,” he just answered before he started to kiss his way under my blouse from my belly button up to my cleavage which my bra formed. He took his time not to forget a part of skin.
My slip was gone with his trousers and the shirt he had worn. A second later my blouse had joined this puddle on the floor, then his boxer, afterwards my bra. Now we were both naked on the bed.
There was no kissing, nothing like that even. It was just sex not making love – big difference.
Now Jarod was kissing my inner thighs touching me where I wanted him most. I arched my back when I felt his fingers in me, touching me, his tongue licking me. God I had missed it.
I felt his erection pressing against my thigh when he was playing with my breast. He didn’t seem to be too interested in them, nor was I interested to let him play to long. At all we agreed to have sex, nothing else. And playing to long in this emotional area wasn’t a good idea. We both knew.
“I want you inside now Jarod.” I haven’t even touched his erection but the moment the head of it pressed into me, I felt that it was enormous- maybe only for me and the fact that it had been a long time since a man fucked me.
He was in me, completely. I moaned. He was in me, pressing against my cervix or if I wouldn’t know it better I would say he was in it.
My body was undulating with pleasure, a feeling I nearly had forgotten. My hips were flexing rhythmically and my back arched again and again, my breasts flushed. God he was good.
My hands had crept without my knowledge to my sides, and when I noticed it I had to restrain myself from caressing his head – not to tell him how much this means to me.
I noticed that he was watching me when he was plugging harder into me, he watched me coming before my pleasure and contractions brought him over too. I felt him filling me up to the very edge.
I came in silence, moaning, arching my back but not screaming a name like normal. I have had to control myself from not screaming his name, not telling him how amazing good he was.
But he didn’t scream my name too. Maybe it was the best this way.
We did it two more times this night. I fell asleep while he was in the shower and when I woke up he was away, the best next to me cold.
Obviously he went away after the shower. Maybe it was the best.
~ A couple of days later ~
~ Grand Teton National Park / Wyoming ~
“Hi,” Jarod said shyly when I came out of the shower. He was in my cottage. Broots had found this lead on him. Here we were now. In the west of Wyoming, rain outside.
“Hello Jarod,” I said and smiled a little. We didn’t make an appointment but I have had a feeling deep inside me that this wouldn’t be a onetime thing with us. The man who had given ecstasy back to me had been Jarod and not a man I had met in a bar or club. This was different.
“How are you doing?” he asked me and I nodded.
“Well I am fine and you? Why Wyoming Jarod?”
“You know I like National Parks a lot … all this amazing views,” he said when I put down my towel.
I was standing by the window, nude. I felt him coming to me, his hands around my hips. I thought that he might let his head rest against my shoulder but he didn’t. He was just standing there, his hands gliding southward to my trimmed pubic hair.
And we had sex again and again – nothing changed from the first time.
~ 2 ½ weeks after the first time ~
~”Charley’s Inn“ in Utah ~
„Do you want anything special Parker?” he asked me.
Sex had always been the same, just to positions, nothing spectacular I would have said normally, but this was Jarod. He was a big man in all ways and filled me completely. Every time he was in me felt like the very first time – the pain and the pleasure.
There was never a lot of talk before or after. The moment I fell asleep was his time to go. There was not one morning the bed next to me was warm or I would hear a noise from somewhere.
The only thing which had really changed were the times. He came nearly on a daily base now and I welcomed him.
When I woke up in the morning I was disappointed not to find him next to me in bed but I knew that it was the best for both of us.
When I came into the room I could already smell him. God he smelled good. Delicious.
The moment I stepped out of my shoes and started to unbutton my blazer, he came out of the small bathroom, a towel wrapped around his hips.
It’s the first time I can really see his male chest, all the hair on him. How often have I thought about falling asleep against this instead of a pillow? Too often lately. Jarod was standing in the door frame, watching me unbuttoning my blouse.
I slowly moved to the bathroom to get a glass of water and get rid of the make up. I noticed that he liked me without it.
Jarod was never one of those men playing games with me, not interested into small adventures or going any further. I would let him do it, everything I think would be possible. My “little” Pretender would just need to give me a hint. He could have everything from bondage to anal, if he wants a threesome it would be fine with me because I trust him with everything – heart and soul.
“Let me do it,” he whispered in my ear and stood behind me. Because of the reflection in the window I was able to watch him unbutton my blouse slowly, very slowly This feeling was different, very different from everything before. His hands gently brushed my cleavage before he pushed the straps of my bra down and let them glide over my arms. His hands were warm but every touch made me shiver. I leaned back against him, letting my head rest against his shoulder, watching us. Through the bra he started to tease my nipples. I moaned, again and again. I tried not to but it was impossible, absolutely. Within a second they stood in the air, waiting for more. Jarod unclasped the bra in the front and we got rid of it, letting it fall down, not caring about this exclusive piece of lace.
I was still leaning against him, maybe a little more than before because my body wasn’t in my control anymore. It was Jarod’s and he knew it. The next thing he did was unzip my skirt, letting it join blouse and bra.
When his hands were back on my belly, I couldn’t do anything else than close my eyes and relax. My body was tense. My brain was tense and the air was like knives. Breathing was nearly impossible if somebody was touching you like this. If Jarod was touching you.
Thanks for the idea or wearing thigh high stockings instead of a pantyhose today. His hands were within a second on me and in me, more in than on. My breathing was hard and I felt his erection pressing in the small of my back. This feeling aroused me even more. I felt how I wet I got. God …
His thumb had found the right spot and my breathing got rigid, my eyes closed. We made a step together forward, to let my hands rest on the sink, to hold my body in the horizontal position. It was hard but it worked.
But I got the feeling that I want to feel him inside me. Jarod was starting to suck on my neck, placing small kisses on my shoulders. I saw him, studying his motions. I couldn’t nor was I able to stop him. I let one hand glide to his hips, told him with my eyes to move a little. Slowly I let the towel fall to the floor, joining my cloths. A second later my slip was gone.
Was it a minute or just a second, it seemed like forever, we just stood there watching us. One of Jarod’s hands was holding my breast the other hand on the “V” between my legs. He was smiling at me, holding me tight again, letting me feel him.
“Look at you Sarah, look how amazing beautiful you are!” Jarod said to me. He had used my first name. This made me shudder even more.
Slowly he enters me. Not in the bed this time, not even the good old, old fashioned way we normally did it. We were still in the bathroom and I was battling to stand. One of his hands rested on my belly, holding me close, the other one was on the sink next to mine– holding himself.
It felt intensive, more intensive and different from what we did before.
After both of us were more than pleasured we moved to the bed and made love again, the old fashioned way. He never let me close my eyes this time, today. Never.
I fell asleep without thinking a lot when he was lying on me. My dreams were harmless, no nightmares anymore, nothing scary like the months before all this started to happen.
And this morning he was still in bed, under me. My head rested on his chest, his arm around me, our legs entangled. I couldn’t believe that he was still there, placing a kiss on my head – this action had woken me up.
“What are you doing?” I asked myself. I couldn’t ask him that, he would never wants to have sex with me anymore. I didn’t say a word the moment I moved off him. Slowly still in silence, I got out of the bed and headed to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it.
So many things were going through my head now, so many – maybe too many to think straight. I told myself to take a deep breath and take a shower. And so I did. I felt sore all over, not that this soreness would be uncomfortable for me.
The moment I stepped out of the shower I heard the door getting closed. He was gone again. Again I was alone but at least not during the night. I felt used the first times even if I relaxed into having sex with him – but it wasn’t the same as with Thomas, not since yesterday night.
~ TODAY ~
~ Fort Leonard Wood / Missouri ~
I haven’t heard from Jarod since he went away without saying something a week ago. I felt lonely and empty. Everyday I closed my eyes and at night. I saw him in front of me, just standing there and smiling at us, watching us. But now it was just me being in the bathroom of a small motel.
It was my motel room and he came like I asked him to. I needed him. We were both naked in bed, lying next to each other, holding the other one tight. I haven’t had realised how far we had gone.
I one moment I felt his lips on my nose, placing a soft kiss there, next I felt them against the corner of my mouth and than suddenly, on my lips – letting his tongue outline them. I was shocked. Not negatively shocked, just in shock because I haven’t thought that he would do it.
His tongue asked for entrance and I allowed it. I didn’t reply to the kiss straight away but when I did it, it felt like heaven. I lost control. Control over myself and over the whole situation. I let Jarod kiss me and I kissed him back.
It got much more passionate, something between the urge for more.
The moment I gave him the hint to roll on me, he broke the kiss and got more away from me - exactly what I not wanted. I wanted him inside me now, and forever.
“I can't do that anymore” he said and pulled the sheet further up his chest. “I can't just pretend that you love me, I can't anymore Sarah. Things have gone to far and I don’t want this anymore. There are two ways – you don’t love me, tell me so and I will be gone or tell me that you love me and we can make love. I just don’t want sex anymore, fucking annoys me. I want to you smile in the morning and not flee from the bed we shared. I want you to smile when you see me and I want you to touch me. You are so passive … the only time you weren’t passive was a week ago, the first and only time? I want you to scream my name when you come and I want to scream yours.” He looked at me. Shit, this puppy look on his face. “I can't do that anymore.”
And my only response is about the agreement we had from the beginning. We both know that it was much more than this now, much more.
So here I am now, leaning against the bathroom door again. God I love this man, isn’t that obvious. I am not in my twenties anymore to jump in bed with every guy a met! I am not so dumb anymore. I am a woman now, a woman who knows whom she wants and this one was in the room next door.
I put cold water on my face and took a deep breath. I was still naked. I wanted to pull a robe over my naked frame but god this was a cheap motel, I was happy that they had running water and were en-lodged.
Somehow it seemed to be eternity in here and the moment I decided to go outside I saw Jarod standing at the window watching the first snowflakes falling. He was wearing his jeans and a shirt, unbuttoned. The moment I opened the door he started to button it. He didn’t turn around.
I slowly moved behind him, letting my arms hug his waist and lean my face against his strong shoulder. I could smell myself a little on him, and his gorgeous own smell mixed with a little of aftershave.
My hands were starting to unbutton his shirt again. He turned around and we started to kiss. If I was ever kissed, it was never like this, never. It wasn’t only passionate, breathless and amazing – it was even better than sex. My hands were around his neck, his on mine too pulling me even more into him.
We tangled to the bed and fell down, laughing. He got out of his jeans, letting me help him.
I don’t know how long we just lay there kissing and holding each other – I think till the moment he started to tickle me and I started hysterical to laugh. How many years have passed since I have laughed like that? Have I ever ….
And from what I know I can say that there is a difference between making love and fucking. Sex was great with Jarod so how will be making love? It was going to be intensive.
We were kissing each others body, exploring all the places we haven’t had before. The moment he wanted to start, to let is lips touch my sex I stopped him.
“No Jarod, there is no need for this, not now.”
“But I want to,” he said shyly.
“We have lots of time for this but not now.” I said and pulled him up to me and roll from one end of the bed to the other and back. I stopped it in the middle when I was on top. Slowly I raised and straddled his hips. He gasped, and smiled.
I didn’t want him to see me as a passive lover, not me. I’ll give him everything tonight – I told myself.
I impaled him into myself. I noticed how big he was again, now he was completely in me, maybe the first time. We both moaned when we were one again. My hands rested on his shoulders to steady myself a little, and his on my hips. Firstly I set a slow rhythm, but I saw it in his eyes that it was time to go a little faster. His breathing was hard, not as heavy as mine, but it was hard. I was near to break, near to come. I felt it starting in my toes, slowly wandering up my legs, my hips, my walls starting to spasm and than it overcame the rest of my body. I shuddered and screamed his name. I am sure that Broots and Syd had heard me. I screamed his name in ecstasy and the moment I came, Jarod came with me –I have pushed us both over the edge.
I collapsed on to Jarod’s male and hairy chest. We both needed a minute to get our breath again – it had been exhausting.
“You know Jarod …. I love you” I stumbled silently.
“I love you too, Sarah more than ever.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
THE END
~*~*~*~*~*~
liked it? let me know
Note: feel warned, this is very graphical
Summary: don’t even think that there could be a plot because there isn’t one… its just all about smut.Thanks to Mel for the great beta again :: thx ::
by
Mary Eve Parker
I was standing, still naked at the window of the motel room staring outside of it. It was snowing again. I was standing there, the heater under the window was just heating the small space between me and the wall, nothing more. The room was freezing cold – the way we both like it.
“Stop torturing yourself Parker you just can't change it.” Jarod said, lying in the bed behind.
“We agreed when we started this Jarod that it was just sex. Nothing less, nothing more that’s it. We agreed that we’re not going to let it go any further than that or get emotionally involved” I turned around and stared at him.
He was lying in the bed we just had shared before.
“Just three and a half weeks into this tell me that you not only have come to realize that you have feelings for me and can't do this anymore, but you think that you are in love with me? I mean come on Jarod what am I supposed to do?”
I am sure that I looked confused when I addressed this to him. I grabbed my blouse and underwear and disappeared to the bathroom.
I stood under the shower, letting the hot and hard water spray my face. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t.
But maybe we should start when this all started about 25 days ago, 25 short days and long nights ago …
I was tired and just came home from Ohio or was it Kansas. I couldn’t remember or didn’t care about it. So I opened the door, let my bag fall down, my purse next to it, grabbed a cigarette from the table next to the door and headed to the kitchen for something to drink.
On my way to the kitchen, as frustrated as I was, I unbuttoned my dress jacket, let it fall to the floor. My pantyhose joined this puddle and next to it was my skirt. I was just in my blouse and underwear when I reached the refrigerator. I hated my life, this job and somehow I felt chased by my past and this house.
Everybody seems to tease me, hurt me or just kicks my ass off – and I really haven’t a clue why. But on the other hand I don’t care, like most of the time. It was snowing outside, nearly end of November, nearly. And fucking Christmas time is showing up soon – god I hate this time of the year.
Maybe I should take my whole left over holiday in December and head to Alaska, get a lonely cottage somewhere and read all the month. Not going out, not doing anything and sleep over Christmas. God ….
I got the bottle of Whiskey out of the fridge, put a lot of ice into a glass and headed to the TV. Something had to be on, had to. I zipped around but there wasn’t even a damned talk show which didn’t annoy me. Fuck. What should that be. I slowly got off the sofa, opened the drawer under the VCR and searched through the tapes.
“When have I bought all this … Legends of the fall … Out of Africa … Brubaker … Moulin Rouge … Evita … who gave them to me? … “, I was talking to myself “Titanic … One fine day … Marlene … Nell … God, isn’t he big … 1492 …” I went back one, “God, isn’t he big?” I wondered what this would be. I leaned down a little further, lightened the lamp next to the TV and studied the cover carefully. This was a porn! God!
I didn't remember ever owning one, or even watched one and not at all a porn made for females. A porn made for females – this was a headline on the back of the cover. Should I really open the original? It was brand new. I opened it slowly somehow like I could ruin it if I open it too fast.
The plastic was off slowly I put it into the VCR and sat back on the sofa. I couldn’t believe that I was watching a porn in within a couple of minutes. I zapped to the VCR channel on my TV and hit the play button.
God! This was funny. A man. A woman. She was wearing a leather costume, was a tall Blondie with a normal body, nothing Pamela Anderson style. The man, I think he was named Oliver, was in jeans and a white open hanging dress shirt. His hair was short and a little wet. He seemed to be a gardener or something like that for her – typical!
Now I remember why I never watched a porn because they were so senseless. No senseless isn’t the right word , they were fucking senseless. There wasn’t a sense even behind a scene – sorry I forgot that intercourse makes sense.
Shit.
I watched it about half an hour – nothing important happened. She was fucking him and he was fucking her and the other way around again. If I would have fallen asleep between it, I wouldn’t have even missed a dialogue. Has there ever been a dialogue in it? I was a little curious about it.
Suddenly I had the feeling that somebody was in the room with me. I slightly shifted on the sofa, lifted my head a little. Nobody there. Hm …
This movie was boring – just a continuation of ins and outs, but what do you expect of porn movies on the other hand?
Suddenly I felt a cold breeze on my skin. Have I left the terrace door open? Not that I remember.
I got out off under the rug and headed to the door, closed it and when I turned around he was sitting on my warmed place. Him! Why couldn’t it just be somebody else, somebody who I don’t need so much? He was around all the time and now he had caught me watching a porn flick.
The next moment I sat next to him. Jarod was just sitting there in his jeans and a warm dark blue shirt. He looked handsome. God. He was handsome, like all the years we were playing this game of running and chasing now. A couple of years just playing a senseless game. Senseless like this porn.
“What do you want here?” I asked him and got myself under the warm rug again.
“I wanted to see you and … “ he tried to say.
All of a sudden I felt his hand behind my back pulling me towards him, letting my head rest on his chest, stroking my hair carefully.
“Is it that bad?” he asked and nodded into the direction of the TV and I just nodded. I don’t know why I did it but I did so, let him know what I was feeling lonely.
His hand took its way over my back to my rear end. His hands were so warm and soft. Nobody said a word. His hand was on my hip. My head moved from his chest to his lap, rested there. Shifting a little I laid on my back and watched him. His big dark eyes were connected with mine. They seemed to be bigger than ever before.
“Why do you watch such a bad porn?” he asked me. I didn’t respond. Jarod’s hand rested on my belly, making small circles. “More” was the only thing I got out of my mouth.
A couple of minutes later we were in my bedroom.
“Just sex Jarod, nothing emotional, this is just sex.”
“Fine … whatever,” he just answered before he started to kiss his way under my blouse from my belly button up to my cleavage which my bra formed. He took his time not to forget a part of skin.
My slip was gone with his trousers and the shirt he had worn. A second later my blouse had joined this puddle on the floor, then his boxer, afterwards my bra. Now we were both naked on the bed.
There was no kissing, nothing like that even. It was just sex not making love – big difference.
Now Jarod was kissing my inner thighs touching me where I wanted him most. I arched my back when I felt his fingers in me, touching me, his tongue licking me. God I had missed it.
I felt his erection pressing against my thigh when he was playing with my breast. He didn’t seem to be too interested in them, nor was I interested to let him play to long. At all we agreed to have sex, nothing else. And playing to long in this emotional area wasn’t a good idea. We both knew.
“I want you inside now Jarod.” I haven’t even touched his erection but the moment the head of it pressed into me, I felt that it was enormous- maybe only for me and the fact that it had been a long time since a man fucked me.
He was in me, completely. I moaned. He was in me, pressing against my cervix or if I wouldn’t know it better I would say he was in it.
My body was undulating with pleasure, a feeling I nearly had forgotten. My hips were flexing rhythmically and my back arched again and again, my breasts flushed. God he was good.
My hands had crept without my knowledge to my sides, and when I noticed it I had to restrain myself from caressing his head – not to tell him how much this means to me.
I noticed that he was watching me when he was plugging harder into me, he watched me coming before my pleasure and contractions brought him over too. I felt him filling me up to the very edge.
I came in silence, moaning, arching my back but not screaming a name like normal. I have had to control myself from not screaming his name, not telling him how amazing good he was.
But he didn’t scream my name too. Maybe it was the best this way.
We did it two more times this night. I fell asleep while he was in the shower and when I woke up he was away, the best next to me cold.
Obviously he went away after the shower. Maybe it was the best.
~ A couple of days later ~
~ Grand Teton National Park / Wyoming ~
“Hi,” Jarod said shyly when I came out of the shower. He was in my cottage. Broots had found this lead on him. Here we were now. In the west of Wyoming, rain outside.
“Hello Jarod,” I said and smiled a little. We didn’t make an appointment but I have had a feeling deep inside me that this wouldn’t be a onetime thing with us. The man who had given ecstasy back to me had been Jarod and not a man I had met in a bar or club. This was different.
“How are you doing?” he asked me and I nodded.
“Well I am fine and you? Why Wyoming Jarod?”
“You know I like National Parks a lot … all this amazing views,” he said when I put down my towel.
I was standing by the window, nude. I felt him coming to me, his hands around my hips. I thought that he might let his head rest against my shoulder but he didn’t. He was just standing there, his hands gliding southward to my trimmed pubic hair.
And we had sex again and again – nothing changed from the first time.
~ 2 ½ weeks after the first time ~
~”Charley’s Inn“ in Utah ~
„Do you want anything special Parker?” he asked me.
Sex had always been the same, just to positions, nothing spectacular I would have said normally, but this was Jarod. He was a big man in all ways and filled me completely. Every time he was in me felt like the very first time – the pain and the pleasure.
There was never a lot of talk before or after. The moment I fell asleep was his time to go. There was not one morning the bed next to me was warm or I would hear a noise from somewhere.
The only thing which had really changed were the times. He came nearly on a daily base now and I welcomed him.
When I woke up in the morning I was disappointed not to find him next to me in bed but I knew that it was the best for both of us.
When I came into the room I could already smell him. God he smelled good. Delicious.
The moment I stepped out of my shoes and started to unbutton my blazer, he came out of the small bathroom, a towel wrapped around his hips.
It’s the first time I can really see his male chest, all the hair on him. How often have I thought about falling asleep against this instead of a pillow? Too often lately. Jarod was standing in the door frame, watching me unbuttoning my blouse.
I slowly moved to the bathroom to get a glass of water and get rid of the make up. I noticed that he liked me without it.
Jarod was never one of those men playing games with me, not interested into small adventures or going any further. I would let him do it, everything I think would be possible. My “little” Pretender would just need to give me a hint. He could have everything from bondage to anal, if he wants a threesome it would be fine with me because I trust him with everything – heart and soul.
“Let me do it,” he whispered in my ear and stood behind me. Because of the reflection in the window I was able to watch him unbutton my blouse slowly, very slowly This feeling was different, very different from everything before. His hands gently brushed my cleavage before he pushed the straps of my bra down and let them glide over my arms. His hands were warm but every touch made me shiver. I leaned back against him, letting my head rest against his shoulder, watching us. Through the bra he started to tease my nipples. I moaned, again and again. I tried not to but it was impossible, absolutely. Within a second they stood in the air, waiting for more. Jarod unclasped the bra in the front and we got rid of it, letting it fall down, not caring about this exclusive piece of lace.
I was still leaning against him, maybe a little more than before because my body wasn’t in my control anymore. It was Jarod’s and he knew it. The next thing he did was unzip my skirt, letting it join blouse and bra.
When his hands were back on my belly, I couldn’t do anything else than close my eyes and relax. My body was tense. My brain was tense and the air was like knives. Breathing was nearly impossible if somebody was touching you like this. If Jarod was touching you.
Thanks for the idea or wearing thigh high stockings instead of a pantyhose today. His hands were within a second on me and in me, more in than on. My breathing was hard and I felt his erection pressing in the small of my back. This feeling aroused me even more. I felt how I wet I got. God …
His thumb had found the right spot and my breathing got rigid, my eyes closed. We made a step together forward, to let my hands rest on the sink, to hold my body in the horizontal position. It was hard but it worked.
But I got the feeling that I want to feel him inside me. Jarod was starting to suck on my neck, placing small kisses on my shoulders. I saw him, studying his motions. I couldn’t nor was I able to stop him. I let one hand glide to his hips, told him with my eyes to move a little. Slowly I let the towel fall to the floor, joining my cloths. A second later my slip was gone.
Was it a minute or just a second, it seemed like forever, we just stood there watching us. One of Jarod’s hands was holding my breast the other hand on the “V” between my legs. He was smiling at me, holding me tight again, letting me feel him.
“Look at you Sarah, look how amazing beautiful you are!” Jarod said to me. He had used my first name. This made me shudder even more.
Slowly he enters me. Not in the bed this time, not even the good old, old fashioned way we normally did it. We were still in the bathroom and I was battling to stand. One of his hands rested on my belly, holding me close, the other one was on the sink next to mine– holding himself.
It felt intensive, more intensive and different from what we did before.
After both of us were more than pleasured we moved to the bed and made love again, the old fashioned way. He never let me close my eyes this time, today. Never.
I fell asleep without thinking a lot when he was lying on me. My dreams were harmless, no nightmares anymore, nothing scary like the months before all this started to happen.
And this morning he was still in bed, under me. My head rested on his chest, his arm around me, our legs entangled. I couldn’t believe that he was still there, placing a kiss on my head – this action had woken me up.
“What are you doing?” I asked myself. I couldn’t ask him that, he would never wants to have sex with me anymore. I didn’t say a word the moment I moved off him. Slowly still in silence, I got out of the bed and headed to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it.
So many things were going through my head now, so many – maybe too many to think straight. I told myself to take a deep breath and take a shower. And so I did. I felt sore all over, not that this soreness would be uncomfortable for me.
The moment I stepped out of the shower I heard the door getting closed. He was gone again. Again I was alone but at least not during the night. I felt used the first times even if I relaxed into having sex with him – but it wasn’t the same as with Thomas, not since yesterday night.
~ TODAY ~
~ Fort Leonard Wood / Missouri ~
I haven’t heard from Jarod since he went away without saying something a week ago. I felt lonely and empty. Everyday I closed my eyes and at night. I saw him in front of me, just standing there and smiling at us, watching us. But now it was just me being in the bathroom of a small motel.
It was my motel room and he came like I asked him to. I needed him. We were both naked in bed, lying next to each other, holding the other one tight. I haven’t had realised how far we had gone.
I one moment I felt his lips on my nose, placing a soft kiss there, next I felt them against the corner of my mouth and than suddenly, on my lips – letting his tongue outline them. I was shocked. Not negatively shocked, just in shock because I haven’t thought that he would do it.
His tongue asked for entrance and I allowed it. I didn’t reply to the kiss straight away but when I did it, it felt like heaven. I lost control. Control over myself and over the whole situation. I let Jarod kiss me and I kissed him back.
It got much more passionate, something between the urge for more.
The moment I gave him the hint to roll on me, he broke the kiss and got more away from me - exactly what I not wanted. I wanted him inside me now, and forever.
“I can't do that anymore” he said and pulled the sheet further up his chest. “I can't just pretend that you love me, I can't anymore Sarah. Things have gone to far and I don’t want this anymore. There are two ways – you don’t love me, tell me so and I will be gone or tell me that you love me and we can make love. I just don’t want sex anymore, fucking annoys me. I want to you smile in the morning and not flee from the bed we shared. I want you to smile when you see me and I want you to touch me. You are so passive … the only time you weren’t passive was a week ago, the first and only time? I want you to scream my name when you come and I want to scream yours.” He looked at me. Shit, this puppy look on his face. “I can't do that anymore.”
And my only response is about the agreement we had from the beginning. We both know that it was much more than this now, much more.
So here I am now, leaning against the bathroom door again. God I love this man, isn’t that obvious. I am not in my twenties anymore to jump in bed with every guy a met! I am not so dumb anymore. I am a woman now, a woman who knows whom she wants and this one was in the room next door.
I put cold water on my face and took a deep breath. I was still naked. I wanted to pull a robe over my naked frame but god this was a cheap motel, I was happy that they had running water and were en-lodged.
Somehow it seemed to be eternity in here and the moment I decided to go outside I saw Jarod standing at the window watching the first snowflakes falling. He was wearing his jeans and a shirt, unbuttoned. The moment I opened the door he started to button it. He didn’t turn around.
I slowly moved behind him, letting my arms hug his waist and lean my face against his strong shoulder. I could smell myself a little on him, and his gorgeous own smell mixed with a little of aftershave.
My hands were starting to unbutton his shirt again. He turned around and we started to kiss. If I was ever kissed, it was never like this, never. It wasn’t only passionate, breathless and amazing – it was even better than sex. My hands were around his neck, his on mine too pulling me even more into him.
We tangled to the bed and fell down, laughing. He got out of his jeans, letting me help him.
I don’t know how long we just lay there kissing and holding each other – I think till the moment he started to tickle me and I started hysterical to laugh. How many years have passed since I have laughed like that? Have I ever ….
And from what I know I can say that there is a difference between making love and fucking. Sex was great with Jarod so how will be making love? It was going to be intensive.
We were kissing each others body, exploring all the places we haven’t had before. The moment he wanted to start, to let is lips touch my sex I stopped him.
“No Jarod, there is no need for this, not now.”
“But I want to,” he said shyly.
“We have lots of time for this but not now.” I said and pulled him up to me and roll from one end of the bed to the other and back. I stopped it in the middle when I was on top. Slowly I raised and straddled his hips. He gasped, and smiled.
I didn’t want him to see me as a passive lover, not me. I’ll give him everything tonight – I told myself.
I impaled him into myself. I noticed how big he was again, now he was completely in me, maybe the first time. We both moaned when we were one again. My hands rested on his shoulders to steady myself a little, and his on my hips. Firstly I set a slow rhythm, but I saw it in his eyes that it was time to go a little faster. His breathing was hard, not as heavy as mine, but it was hard. I was near to break, near to come. I felt it starting in my toes, slowly wandering up my legs, my hips, my walls starting to spasm and than it overcame the rest of my body. I shuddered and screamed his name. I am sure that Broots and Syd had heard me. I screamed his name in ecstasy and the moment I came, Jarod came with me –I have pushed us both over the edge.
I collapsed on to Jarod’s male and hairy chest. We both needed a minute to get our breath again – it had been exhausting.
“You know Jarod …. I love you” I stumbled silently.
“I love you too, Sarah more than ever.”
THE END
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