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Chapter or Story 
Chapter or Story
List Provided By: Heidi.
Sibling Rivalry VIII
by: chopsticks
p g
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Miss Parker fumed in her office, muttering incoherently and pacing back and forth. Why Lyle insisted on continuing this childish game, she did not know. All she knew was that she had to get him back, and get him back good.
She grinned evilly as she snatched the freshly printed paper out of the printer. This would surely piss Lyle off, and that was the ultimate goal of all this, wasn’t it?
She spun on her three-inch stiletto heels and faced the doorway to her office, where the woman she had snatched from the hallway now stood, obviously attempting to make herself invisible. She grinned and the woman seemed to shrink back even more, eventually running into the doorway.
"Do me a favor. . ." Miss Parker paused, realizing she didn’t know the employee’s name.
"Stacey," the woman supplied helpfully, then wished she didn’t.
"Stacey. Be a dear and post this up outside my dear brother’s office," Miss Parker said, an evil smile creeping onto her face.
She handed the paper and a tack to Stacey, who glanced warily at the paper and then back to Miss Parker. Miss Parker arched one well-manicured eyebrow at the woman’s indecision. Stacey sighed quietly and grabbed the paper and tack, then slipped out the door and into the hallway. She could only hope that she wouldn’t end up being caught by Mr. Lyle once again. Her ribs couldn’t withstand another meeting with him.
She began the trek down to Mr. Lyle’s office, reading the list as she went along.
Fifty Things a Man Should Not Know
(Too bad you already know most of these, eh Lyle?)
1. How to say anything in Klingon.
2. How to say anything in Elvlish.
3. What Britney Spear's head looks like when pasted onto somebody else's naked body.
4. Where to buy an "authentic" bolo tie.
5. The details of their wife's first sexual encounter.
6. The difference between a double axel and a triple Lutz.
7. A Vegan.
8. The date on which the Olsen twins become legal.
9. Tucker Carlson's email address.
10. The sassiest things Star Jones said today on "The View."
11. Tobey Maguire's middle name.
12. Cher's real age.
13. The names of the ten "American Idol" finalists.
14. His favorite stripper's phone number.
15. His best friend's salary.
16. The Goggle results for his high school girlfriend.
17. The latest book in Kelly Ripa's book club.
18. That Kelly Ripa has a book club.
19. The placement of "While You Were Sleeping" on E!'s Rank: 25 Best Date Movies.
20. That the female long-eared groundhog is an animal most likely to engage in lesbian behavior, including complicated acts of oral sex.
21. The chicken dance.
22. How to make one mean ambrosia salad.
23. His favorite "Far Side" comic.
24. Where to pick up the perfect inspirational desk calendar.
25. James Van Der Beek's filmography.
26. The meaning of the words: bunting, wainscoting and espadrilles.
27. How to mix a slippery nipple, a screaming orgasm, or a sloe comfortable screw.
28. How to carve tofurkey.
29. A single lyric from any song ever sung by O-Town.
30. A single line from any book ever written by Elizabeth Wurtzel.
31. A fair price for a pedicure.
32. The slugging percentage of that journeyman left-fielder whom the Braves just traded to the Rockies and who may be a nice pickup for his fantasy baseball team.
33. What it is like to walk around the city wearing a velvet pea coat.
34. The melody to the theme song from "Little House on the Prairie."
35. The local priest's boxer or brief predilection.
36. The name of Rue McClanahan's character on "The Golden Girls."
37. What happens to the little cows before they become the delicious veal on his plate.
38. More than two lines from the film "Fletch."
39. How to play a James Taylor song on the guitar.
40. Any 900 numbers by heart.
41. How to mail order a bride.
42. His bra cup size.
43. The current cast members of "Mamma Mia!"
44. His parents' favorite sexual position.
45. The price of John Wayne Gacy's clown paintings on eBay.
46. How to manufacture napalm.
47. What it sounds like if you put a microphone in front of a megaphone.
48. How to cross-stitch.
49. The cost of a white belt or a pair of chaps (any color).
50. The ingredients of a Ballpark Frank.
Stacey did everything she could to hold back her laughter, but a few giggles escaped at the very image of Mr. Lyle performing the chicken dance. That mental image was priceless.
Unfortunately for her, someone noticed her giggling and immediately realized that a new list was coming. Soon a small group of people was following behind her, anxious for a peek at the new list. When Stacey finally came to a stop in front of Mr. Lyle’s office, where the sounds of hammers and drills could be heard from within, a small crowd was pushing against her, trying to see over her shoulder. She sighed again and tacked the list up, then managed to squeeze her way out of the crowd. She was going to the infirmary, and nobody was going to stop her.
The only good thing that came from Mr. Lyle’s window being broken was that he wasn’t in his office at the time the new list was posted, so many people laughed out loud with no repercussions. Unfortunately, he came back right as the largest crowd had formed.
A person in the back glanced over his shoulder for no particular reason, but was greeted with the sight of an angry Mr. Lyle glaring at them. The person frantically tugged on the sleeve of the person next to him, alerting her to the danger. She then tugged on the sleeve of the person next to her, and so on through the crowd, until they were all looking back at Mr. Lyle. He blinked at them, and they scattered quickly, heading in different directions and tripping over each other.
Mr. Lyle grinned in amusement at their antics, his sour mood forgotten for the moment. Then he remembered why they had all been there and stalked forward to his wall, snatching the list from its comfortable position on the wall.
As he read through the list, he realized two things. One, Miss Parker was right and he did know some of these things. Two, he was going to make her pay.
He stalked into his office, a few papers flying out the door because a strong wind gust had once again raced through his office. He turned around and, with some effort, managed to close the door against the wind.
Nobody ever noticed Sydney sitting a little ways away, quietly taking notes on the whole situation. . .
-----
the end.
feedback welcomed at spacedoutwriter@hotmail.com.
by: chopsticks
p g
-----
Miss Parker fumed in her office, muttering incoherently and pacing back and forth. Why Lyle insisted on continuing this childish game, she did not know. All she knew was that she had to get him back, and get him back good.
She grinned evilly as she snatched the freshly printed paper out of the printer. This would surely piss Lyle off, and that was the ultimate goal of all this, wasn’t it?
She spun on her three-inch stiletto heels and faced the doorway to her office, where the woman she had snatched from the hallway now stood, obviously attempting to make herself invisible. She grinned and the woman seemed to shrink back even more, eventually running into the doorway.
"Do me a favor. . ." Miss Parker paused, realizing she didn’t know the employee’s name.
"Stacey," the woman supplied helpfully, then wished she didn’t.
"Stacey. Be a dear and post this up outside my dear brother’s office," Miss Parker said, an evil smile creeping onto her face.
She handed the paper and a tack to Stacey, who glanced warily at the paper and then back to Miss Parker. Miss Parker arched one well-manicured eyebrow at the woman’s indecision. Stacey sighed quietly and grabbed the paper and tack, then slipped out the door and into the hallway. She could only hope that she wouldn’t end up being caught by Mr. Lyle once again. Her ribs couldn’t withstand another meeting with him.
She began the trek down to Mr. Lyle’s office, reading the list as she went along.
Fifty Things a Man Should Not Know
(Too bad you already know most of these, eh Lyle?)
1. How to say anything in Klingon.
2. How to say anything in Elvlish.
3. What Britney Spear's head looks like when pasted onto somebody else's naked body.
4. Where to buy an "authentic" bolo tie.
5. The details of their wife's first sexual encounter.
6. The difference between a double axel and a triple Lutz.
7. A Vegan.
8. The date on which the Olsen twins become legal.
9. Tucker Carlson's email address.
10. The sassiest things Star Jones said today on "The View."
11. Tobey Maguire's middle name.
12. Cher's real age.
13. The names of the ten "American Idol" finalists.
14. His favorite stripper's phone number.
15. His best friend's salary.
16. The Goggle results for his high school girlfriend.
17. The latest book in Kelly Ripa's book club.
18. That Kelly Ripa has a book club.
19. The placement of "While You Were Sleeping" on E!'s Rank: 25 Best Date Movies.
20. That the female long-eared groundhog is an animal most likely to engage in lesbian behavior, including complicated acts of oral sex.
21. The chicken dance.
22. How to make one mean ambrosia salad.
23. His favorite "Far Side" comic.
24. Where to pick up the perfect inspirational desk calendar.
25. James Van Der Beek's filmography.
26. The meaning of the words: bunting, wainscoting and espadrilles.
27. How to mix a slippery nipple, a screaming orgasm, or a sloe comfortable screw.
28. How to carve tofurkey.
29. A single lyric from any song ever sung by O-Town.
30. A single line from any book ever written by Elizabeth Wurtzel.
31. A fair price for a pedicure.
32. The slugging percentage of that journeyman left-fielder whom the Braves just traded to the Rockies and who may be a nice pickup for his fantasy baseball team.
33. What it is like to walk around the city wearing a velvet pea coat.
34. The melody to the theme song from "Little House on the Prairie."
35. The local priest's boxer or brief predilection.
36. The name of Rue McClanahan's character on "The Golden Girls."
37. What happens to the little cows before they become the delicious veal on his plate.
38. More than two lines from the film "Fletch."
39. How to play a James Taylor song on the guitar.
40. Any 900 numbers by heart.
41. How to mail order a bride.
42. His bra cup size.
43. The current cast members of "Mamma Mia!"
44. His parents' favorite sexual position.
45. The price of John Wayne Gacy's clown paintings on eBay.
46. How to manufacture napalm.
47. What it sounds like if you put a microphone in front of a megaphone.
48. How to cross-stitch.
49. The cost of a white belt or a pair of chaps (any color).
50. The ingredients of a Ballpark Frank.
Stacey did everything she could to hold back her laughter, but a few giggles escaped at the very image of Mr. Lyle performing the chicken dance. That mental image was priceless.
Unfortunately for her, someone noticed her giggling and immediately realized that a new list was coming. Soon a small group of people was following behind her, anxious for a peek at the new list. When Stacey finally came to a stop in front of Mr. Lyle’s office, where the sounds of hammers and drills could be heard from within, a small crowd was pushing against her, trying to see over her shoulder. She sighed again and tacked the list up, then managed to squeeze her way out of the crowd. She was going to the infirmary, and nobody was going to stop her.
The only good thing that came from Mr. Lyle’s window being broken was that he wasn’t in his office at the time the new list was posted, so many people laughed out loud with no repercussions. Unfortunately, he came back right as the largest crowd had formed.
A person in the back glanced over his shoulder for no particular reason, but was greeted with the sight of an angry Mr. Lyle glaring at them. The person frantically tugged on the sleeve of the person next to him, alerting her to the danger. She then tugged on the sleeve of the person next to her, and so on through the crowd, until they were all looking back at Mr. Lyle. He blinked at them, and they scattered quickly, heading in different directions and tripping over each other.
Mr. Lyle grinned in amusement at their antics, his sour mood forgotten for the moment. Then he remembered why they had all been there and stalked forward to his wall, snatching the list from its comfortable position on the wall.
As he read through the list, he realized two things. One, Miss Parker was right and he did know some of these things. Two, he was going to make her pay.
He stalked into his office, a few papers flying out the door because a strong wind gust had once again raced through his office. He turned around and, with some effort, managed to close the door against the wind.
Nobody ever noticed Sydney sitting a little ways away, quietly taking notes on the whole situation. . .
the end.
feedback welcomed at spacedoutwriter@hotmail.com.
