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List Provided By: Unknown.
Sibling Rivalry VII
Part Two
by: chopsticks
p g - 1 3
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The underling, a South African transferred to The Centre because of her excellent tracking skills, stood stock-straight and tried not to cry. She had been dragged into Mr. Lyle’s office by Lyle himself, and she was doing everything she could think of to remain invisible. So, she didn’t move and scarcely breathed, for fear that Mr. Lyle might make her disappear, just like all his secretaries. She nearly shuddered at the thought, but held it back.
Mr. Lyle, for his part, was doing an admirable job of ignoring her. After pulling her into his office and slamming the door, sending any lingering observers scattering, he began pacing and reading the list. He knew retaliation had been coming, so he had planned ahead. As he read the list, he knew that he did a few of those things, and everyone seemed to take him seriously. He had quite a bit of fun annoying people, but it almost never seemed to get an immediate rise out of them. He sighed inwardly and decided that, to keep up appearances, he had to make it look like he was angry.
So, he grabbed the nearest thing, an Asian metal paperweight, and hurled it out the window, sending glass everywhere. The woman behind him squeaked in surprise, and a dull thud was heard soon after. Lyle whipped around to find the "poor soul" he had grabbed from the hallway on the floor, unconscious.
He turned back to the window and instantly regretted sending the paperweight on the journey of its lifetime. For one thing, he forgot that it was winter. So, of course, it was bitingly cold out and snowing. Secondly, a car alarm was blaring from below and he could hear at least one sweeper swearing loudly at the "damn, fucking alarm."
Lyle growled angrily. His good mood had been thoroughly soured, so he stalked over to where the woman was lying prone on the floor. He kicked her in the side violently enough to flip her over, and she quickly woke up and screamed.
"Oh, for the love of. . ." Lyle grumbled, then walked back over to his desk and grabbed a piece of paper off of its surface. The woman had by then stood up and composed herself, though she looked like she was going to start sobbing at any moment.
"Here," Lyle bit out, shoving a piece of paper underneath the woman’s nose. "Go stick this up outside Miss Parker’s office. Get a tack from Linda." The woman quickly scurried from the room, a sob escaping her mouth. Lyle rolled his eyes and reached for his phone, watching as a particularly strong wind gust blew his papers all over the office.
He sighed and dialed the number for maintenance. Today was going to be a long day.
Meanwhile, the woman had stopped off at Linda’s desk and retrieved the needed tack, plus a few tissues and some consoling words. After finally composing herself, she headed off in the direction of Miss Parker’s office, reading the paper along the way.
Phrases You Wish You Could Say at Work
- Ahhh. . .I see the fucked-up fairy has visited us again. . .
- I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
- How about never? Is never good for you?
- I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
- I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
- I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
- I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. . .
- I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
- It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
- I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
- I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
- I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
- Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
- The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
- Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
- What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
- I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
- It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
- Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
- No, my powers can only be used for good.
- You sound reasonable. . . Time to up the medication.
- Who, me? I just wander from room to room.
- And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be. . .?
- Do I look like a people person?
- This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
- I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
- You! Off my planet!
- Does your train of thought have a caboose?
- Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
- A PBS mind in an MTV world.
- Allow me to introduce my selves.
- Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
- Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
- Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
- I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
- A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
- Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
- Can I trade this job for what's behind door one?
- Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
- Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
- Chaos, panic, and disorder. . . My work here is done.
- How do I set a laser printer to stun?
- I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
- If I throw a stick, will you leave?
- Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
The woman laughed quietly to herself as she walked down the hallway. This, of course, hurt her aching ribs, as well as tipped others off that another list was on its way. A small crowd began to gather behind her as she stopped in front of Miss Parker’s office. She took a deep breath and put the paper up against the wall, swiftly tacking it there.
The crowd began to push against her to see better, and she soon realized that she was trapped up against the wall. A few uproarious giggles emerged from somewhere in the crowd, and the door slammed open. The group dispersed, allowing her to step back from the wall she had just so intimately become acquainted with.
Miss Parker, having not said one word yet, glared at her, then hissed out, "You. Come with me. And take that damn paper down." She then turned on her heel and headed back into her office, leaving the door open.
The woman meekly acquiesced and headed into the office. So much for the idea of going to the infirmary.
-----
the end.
feedback welcomed at spacedoutwriter@hotmail.com.
Part Two
by: chopsticks
p g - 1 3
-----
The underling, a South African transferred to The Centre because of her excellent tracking skills, stood stock-straight and tried not to cry. She had been dragged into Mr. Lyle’s office by Lyle himself, and she was doing everything she could think of to remain invisible. So, she didn’t move and scarcely breathed, for fear that Mr. Lyle might make her disappear, just like all his secretaries. She nearly shuddered at the thought, but held it back.
Mr. Lyle, for his part, was doing an admirable job of ignoring her. After pulling her into his office and slamming the door, sending any lingering observers scattering, he began pacing and reading the list. He knew retaliation had been coming, so he had planned ahead. As he read the list, he knew that he did a few of those things, and everyone seemed to take him seriously. He had quite a bit of fun annoying people, but it almost never seemed to get an immediate rise out of them. He sighed inwardly and decided that, to keep up appearances, he had to make it look like he was angry.
So, he grabbed the nearest thing, an Asian metal paperweight, and hurled it out the window, sending glass everywhere. The woman behind him squeaked in surprise, and a dull thud was heard soon after. Lyle whipped around to find the "poor soul" he had grabbed from the hallway on the floor, unconscious.
He turned back to the window and instantly regretted sending the paperweight on the journey of its lifetime. For one thing, he forgot that it was winter. So, of course, it was bitingly cold out and snowing. Secondly, a car alarm was blaring from below and he could hear at least one sweeper swearing loudly at the "damn, fucking alarm."
Lyle growled angrily. His good mood had been thoroughly soured, so he stalked over to where the woman was lying prone on the floor. He kicked her in the side violently enough to flip her over, and she quickly woke up and screamed.
"Oh, for the love of. . ." Lyle grumbled, then walked back over to his desk and grabbed a piece of paper off of its surface. The woman had by then stood up and composed herself, though she looked like she was going to start sobbing at any moment.
"Here," Lyle bit out, shoving a piece of paper underneath the woman’s nose. "Go stick this up outside Miss Parker’s office. Get a tack from Linda." The woman quickly scurried from the room, a sob escaping her mouth. Lyle rolled his eyes and reached for his phone, watching as a particularly strong wind gust blew his papers all over the office.
He sighed and dialed the number for maintenance. Today was going to be a long day.
Meanwhile, the woman had stopped off at Linda’s desk and retrieved the needed tack, plus a few tissues and some consoling words. After finally composing herself, she headed off in the direction of Miss Parker’s office, reading the paper along the way.
Phrases You Wish You Could Say at Work
- Ahhh. . .I see the fucked-up fairy has visited us again. . .
- I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
- How about never? Is never good for you?
- I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
- I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
- I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
- I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. . .
- I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
- It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
- I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
- I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
- I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
- Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
- The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
- Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
- What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
- I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
- It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
- Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
- No, my powers can only be used for good.
- You sound reasonable. . . Time to up the medication.
- Who, me? I just wander from room to room.
- And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be. . .?
- Do I look like a people person?
- This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
- I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
- You! Off my planet!
- Does your train of thought have a caboose?
- Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
- A PBS mind in an MTV world.
- Allow me to introduce my selves.
- Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
- Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
- Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
- I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
- A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
- Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
- Can I trade this job for what's behind door one?
- Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
- Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
- Chaos, panic, and disorder. . . My work here is done.
- How do I set a laser printer to stun?
- I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
- If I throw a stick, will you leave?
- Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
The woman laughed quietly to herself as she walked down the hallway. This, of course, hurt her aching ribs, as well as tipped others off that another list was on its way. A small crowd began to gather behind her as she stopped in front of Miss Parker’s office. She took a deep breath and put the paper up against the wall, swiftly tacking it there.
The crowd began to push against her to see better, and she soon realized that she was trapped up against the wall. A few uproarious giggles emerged from somewhere in the crowd, and the door slammed open. The group dispersed, allowing her to step back from the wall she had just so intimately become acquainted with.
Miss Parker, having not said one word yet, glared at her, then hissed out, "You. Come with me. And take that damn paper down." She then turned on her heel and headed back into her office, leaving the door open.
The woman meekly acquiesced and headed into the office. So much for the idea of going to the infirmary.
the end.
feedback welcomed at spacedoutwriter@hotmail.com.
