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Disclaimer: “The Pretender” and its characters do not belong to me they belong to TNT and NBC and are being used without permission. Please don’t sue because I have no money.

Zoe’s Thoughts
By: 24

He smiles at me as we walk down the beach. It has been a month after the people that wanted him took me to capture him. I never knew why they were after him and he never told me and neither did his father. Why did those people take me as bait to grab him? I sometimes see the pain in his face when he talks about his family and childhood. The only thing I know is that he was separated from his family when he was younger and he’s trying to piece back the life that was stolen from him. Sometimes he has nightmares when I’m with him. I try to tell him it’s okay and try to calm him, but sometimes that doesn’t help. What happened in his life for him to have these nightmares? I saw his face when he said his father found his sister. I know that he never knew her because of their separation. I’m glad that he had a chance to get to know her for only a short while. Sometimes when we go walking, or shopping I’ll see him look over his shoulder and scan the crowd around us. I guess so that they won’t catch him unaware. I know that he’s looking for the same people that took me the same ones that are after him. I heard one of the men say that they own Jarod. You do not own a human being. Do they think of him as a possession? As something to own? They must because they want their possession back and they already demonstrated that they would do anything to get him back. Sometimes he’s so much like a child delighting in toys, candy, ice cream and so many things. How in the world could someone not know about candy? Or the many flavors of ice cream? It’s because of them. I know that he’s never had much of a childhood because when we were on that road trip.

We sit on the beach and I watch as he makes a sandcastle. He tells me he’s never made one before and that he’s never been to the beach. I’m left to wonder why those nameless people would do that to him? I know that he’s very smart because when he was at my grandmother’s house he knew a lot about planes and I thought he said that he was an accountant. How would an accountant know about that kind of stuff? He’s having a great time building the sandcastle. There is so much detail in his work and I smile at him as he turns to me. There are people gathering watching as he works. After his castle is done he goes and builds a family of bears next to it. Even in that there is a lot of detail down to the pads of their feet. They are really cute and the people who are watching stare in wonder. I wonder how he found out how to do that? I saw him reading a book yesterday and I think it said something about sand castles, but I didn’t get a good look at it. He’s so good with children. Maybe he sees what he would have been like in them if those people didn’t take him, or maybe he thinks what he’s missed with his own family. Sometimes when we walk and come to a family playing I’ll see a wall of pain come to his face. I know that he’s thinking of the family that was lost to him.

He tells me that this is the last time that we’ll ever get together. I’ll miss him deeply. I know that he’s changed my life by saving me from myself. I was on a self-destruct mode when I found out I had cancer. I didn’t want to get better because of what happened to my sister. I felt it was my fault and Jarod gave to the courage to go on and see that I do have family that cares about me. I’m so grateful to him for that.

I hope that he finds his family, so that he can be whole. I hope that he’ll find peace and he’ll fill the hole that in his heart. I hope that he finds the joy that I feel when I’m with my family. I hope that he finds that joy when he reunites with his. I’ll miss him, but I have to let him go. I know that now.

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