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the lurker
The fall air felt crisp in her lungs. It was early morning, and the sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon. The leaves crunched under her feet as she walked through the cemetery, and it reminded her of when she was a little girl. She didn't know what had called to her this particular morning, in the darkness of predawn; in the silence of the approaching fall. But she had heard it, and made sure that there was time to visit her mother's grave on her way to the Centre. As she approached the now-worn headstone, she could see the pristine bouquet of flowers which had been carefully laid beneath it. As unlikely as it seemed, her father must have come by, although she was fairly certain that today did not represent any particular occasion. Perhaps he had felt it too.
Parker knelt at the plot, gently placing a hand on the stone bearing her mother's name. She wondered what her mother would be like now, so many years later. Would her hair be white and her face wrinkled? She would never know, for Catherine Parker would eternally be 35 years old. Miss Parker closed her eyes, fighting off the stinging moisture in them. It didn't matter how many years passed, it hurt as much now as it did when she was ten years old, and there had been only Sydney for comfort. A rueful smile played across her lips: unless she was nursing a bottle of vodka late at night, Sydney was still her only comfort. Her eyes fell on the bouquet of white China Mums mixed with roses, lying at the base of the headstone. There was something oddly familiar about them, but it was just out of reach to her conscious mind. It was a curious remnant, and she realized, probably a silly ponderance - who else but her father would have placed them here? Parker ran a finger over the velvety petals of one white rose. She smiled; her mother would have liked them.
Parker stood, looked once more at the name engraved in the stone, and quietly left, trying to shut out the inner voice calling to her from within.
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The Centre felt unusually cold to her as she walked down the hallway heading toward her office. She wrapped her arms around herself as she picked up her pace. For a moment, she thought she felt eyes on her, but there was no one else around. Parker shook her head; she was letting all of the clandestine intrigue that filled her life take over her rationality. She rounded a corner and realized she wasn't at her office. Parker shook her head in disgust - where was her mind today? The voice from behind made her start.
"Miss Parker?"
She turned to find Sydney smiling at her, and her irritation was evident.
"What are you doing here?"
One dark eyebrow raised in amusement, "Last time I checked, this was my office...."
She glared at him. "I meant what are you doing here at this hour?"
"One could ask the same of you, Miss Parker."
She growled under her breath and started out, Sydney's voice stopped her at the threshold. "Did you need something, Parker?"
She turned around, her eyes lit with fire. "No."
"Then why--"
"--Look, I was thinking while I was walking, and I ended up here, okay?"
"You don't find it odd that you wound up in my office and not yours?"
"Oh for God's sake; don't make something out of nothing, Dr. Doolittle, I simply wasn't paying attention."
While his eyebrows raised at the explanation, Sydney refrained from commenting further. Satisfied that it was a closed subject, Parker turned on her heel, heading for the door. He looked down at the floor, his eyes landing on Parker's shoes as she walked away. He was surprised to see mud around the edges of them, but then, he could surmise the reason. Sydney stood there for a moment, his mind ordering the facts to a long-awaited problem. He turned away and sat heavily in his desk chair; he was going to have to seek out a most unlikely ally.
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"How dare you bring this up to me." Sydney looked away, guilt filling his dark eyes, and Parker continued in anger. "You were told thirty years ago never to mention it again, much less on the very day that--"
"--I am not doing so out of malice."
Mr. Parker’s voice took on a sarcastic tone, "Really?"
Sydney looked at the man, but his voice remained soft, unthreatening. "I’m concerned about Miss Parker."
"Your concern is misplaced."
"I don’t think so."
"What is so unusual about my daughter visiting her mother’s grave?"
"To commemorate an anniversary she knows nothing about?"
Parker’s jaw clinched in fury, "A coincidence, nothing more." His voice grew dark with intent, "And today does not represent an anniversary of any kind."
Sydney looked away, his stomach pulling tightly into a knot. "She came to me this morning, without knowing why."
"She goes tor...."
Jarod picked up all the DSA’s and files, and shoved them into his backpack. Then as quickly as he could, he followed Angelo through the vent system of the Centre.
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Sydney’s face felt hot with anger as he approached the front doors to the Centre. Of course there was an argument that he should have been more discreet in his entrance, but then, he figured there was no point. As he walked down the main hallway, he felt the eyes of curiosity and wariness upon him. Somewhere along the way, he picked up a few Sweepers, whom he was sure were merely following Mr. Parker’s instructions. As he neared the office of Mr. Parker, a tall Sweeper whom he had never seen before stepped out of the shadows, stopping Sydney with a hand in front of him.
"Where are you going, doctor?"
Sydney smiled at the man. "To see Mr. Parker."
The Sweeper shook his head. "I’ve been instructed to escort you to medical for observation."
"I don’t need to be observed, but I will be heard."
As Sydney started past him, the man grabbed him roughly by the shoulder. "You will report to the medical unit for observation."
"I don’t think so, not today."
Sydney wriggled out of the man’s grip, and he heard a gun cocking by his head. "It was not a request, doctor."
Sydney eyed the man, and smiled yet again. "Unless you intend to use that weapon, I won’t be going to medical." He could see from the man’s reaction that he had been instructed not to shoot. "So, where are they?"
"Who?"
"Raines and Parker." The Sweeper stared at him, and Sydney sighed. "Look, I can either search the building for them with you on my tail, or you can save us both a lot of time and energy by taking me to them." The man still hesitated, and Sydney did the only thing left to him; he drew his own weapon and pointed it at the man’s midsection. "Now, I assure you, I have no standing orders from anyone in regard to not shooting you, and it would uncomplicate matters for me greatly if you were out of my way, so if I were you, I’d start moving." The man still stood there, so Sydney shoved the gun barrel into his stomach. "Now."
Slowly the Sweeper moved down the hallway, Sydney next to him, the gun trained on the larger man. As they approached the office of Dr. Raines, the psychiatrist shoved the man into an alcove.
"I thank you for your cooperation, but this is where you get off the train." Sydney slammed the handle of the gun down upon the man’s head, and he crumpled to the floor. "Enjoy the nap."
Sydney put the gun back in the waistband of his pants and quickly covered the distance between the alcove and the door to Raines’ office. He looked around and was surprised that the hallway was empty. Willie was nowhere to be seen, and a shiver ran up Sydney’s spine: this wasn’t right. He sighed. It was too late to back down now, and even if he could, he didn’t want to; it was long past time that an end be put to this business. The threats going back and forth over the past twenty-odd-years had left him exhausted, and still Miss Parker wasn’t free. But, a balance had been struck, with Raines and Parker never daring to go too far for fear of what Sydney might do. But the time had come to pass on the mantle of protection to one who would see that Miss Parker would rise above the intrigue, the lies, and the Centre itself. He had no doubt that Jarod wouldn’t be the least bit surprised when he picked up the phone message Sydney had left, and he was confident that the pretender would see Miss Parker through to the end.
Sydney straightened his jacket, opened the door to the office, and walked in. As he suspected, Raines and Parker were there, along with Willie and two other Sweepers. Sydney looked at them.
"Well, well.....what a surprise."
Parker smiled at him. "Shouldn’t you be resting or something Sydney? I understand you were hit quite hard on the head."
Sydney returned the smile. "Yes, you did hit me rather hard, Mr. Parker, but you know, you really should have killed me."
Parker’s smile disappeared. "I should have killed you thirty years ago."
"Perhaps. It’s a little late to think on that now."
"Why are you here?"
"The file folder and the DSA. I can quite imagine how the originals have been changed, and while I don’t care what lies you show the Triumvirate--"
"--Miss Parker is another matter, isn’t she Sydney?" The smile on the reptilian man’s face made Sydney’s skin crawl. Raines continued, "It’s too late you know. The file is already on its way to her."
"I suggest you get it back."
Parker chimed in, "Why would we want to do that, Sydney? After my daughter reads through all of it and sees the DSA, she’ll want nothing more to do with you, and she’ll have no qualms with the Triumvirate taking action against you."
Sydney shook his head. "You still don’t understand. You never did. I don’t care what happens to me. It is Miss Parker who concerns me. I would rather she hate me than hate herself for who she really is."
"I don’t see that you have any options, Sydney."
The psychiatrist moved toward Parker, smiling. As he reached the chair, he pulled the gun out of his pants, and held it to Parker’s head.
"Now don’t anyone do anything that might make me nervous, or my finger could slip and blow Mr. Parker’s head off." He looked at Raines. "It would create quite a mess in here, you know."
Raines frowned. "You’ve finally lost it, Sydney."
"Have I? Or am I finally doing what I should have done long ago?"
"I’m talking to a dead man...."
"Maybe, Raines, but as I said, that doesn’t matter to me; it will be the last thing you can ever do to me. You will destroy the files earmarked for Miss Parker, and you will never tell her the truth."
Parker spoke up, "You can’t win here, Sydney."
"Yes I can. And I can take you with me."
Parker shook his head. "You can kill me, but all of the files she sees will show that you authorized the experiment; even more, that it was your pet project." Parker added, "Dead or alive, my daughter will hate you for eternity."
"And you’ll destroy her in the process. But you don’t care about that, do you? You’ve never worried about her feelings, nor how any of this might affect her. Don’t you feel anything toward her?"
"She is an experiment, Sydney, just like all the others. But then, that’s always been your weakness, you become attached to them, and can no longer function objectively."
"At least I taught them that’s there’s something more in the world than ugliness and hate; that there is life beyond the Centre."
Raines laughed hard. "That’s your big accomplishment?"
"Admittedly, it wasn’t much, but it was something."
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From inside the air shaft of Raines’ office, Jarod swallowed hard. He knew that Sydney had butt heads with both Raines and Parker, but he had never considered what it must have been like for him, nor what he had sacrificed in terms of his own life and happiness. Jarod whispered something to Angelo, who quickly disappeared down the shaft, and then the pretender pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number.
He whispered into it, "Hello Miss Parker...."
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Raines answered the psychiatrist, "I’ve heard enough. Sydney, pull the trigger, or put the gun down; either way, you’ve lost. Miss Parker will be given the files, and that will be that. You no longer have the originals to use as leverage in this matter, so your influence is gone, and soon, you shall be too."
Sydney’s hand flexed around the handle of the gun, and he smiled. "I’m afraid you’ve underestimated your position."
Parker’s voice boomed, "What do you mean?"
"Jarod knows the truth."
The two men laughed, and Raines answered. "You told him, so what? He has no way to prove it, and Miss Parker will chalk it up to him trying to protect your memory. Face it, Sydney, it’s over."
Sydney looked down at Parker, his voice unable to disguise the emotion propelling it. "You know that this will destroy her?"
"You overestimate your importance in her life, Sydney. She’ll get over you and move on."
He shook his head. "Yes, you’re right about me: I’m talking about the rest of it. The truth about her. My God, you’ve called her daughter for her entire life; how can you be this callous?"
Parker shrugged. "It was a good run. She had to find out sometime." He looked at Sydney meaningfully. "No secret lasts forever."
The two men held each other’s eyes in understanding, and Sydney frowned, but all he said was, "Some secrets are far more dangerous than others, Mr. Parker, and you underestimate Jarod’s ability to be convincing."
"Are you going to pull the trigger Sydney, or are we finished?"
Sydney looked down at the floor: he had come there to take their lives in the name of protecting Miss Parker. But now, as he stood there on the brink, he was not sure if he had come there for Parker’s sake or his own, any more than he was sure he could go through with it. Mr. Parker watched the psychiatrist as he grew ever closer to relinquishing the weapon. Parker had seen it often enough in his enemies, this loss of resolve. He could smell victory.
Smiling, he chided Sydney. "Really Sydney, you fell in love with my wife and couldn’t win her because she had no such desire for you; did you honestly believe you’d have better luck the second time around? The stupidity in that surprises me...."
Oh but it was the wrong thing to say. Sydney cocked the gun and held it tightly to Parker’s temple, his lips curling into a sneer as he spoke.
"How dare you intimate such a thing. My feelings toward Miss Parker are not in any way carnal; to suggest anything else is the epitome of depravity and you know it. As for Catherine and me.....you saw what we allowed you to see, and well, you said it yourself, no secret lasts forever."
The provocative smile on Syd’s lips had the desired effect. In a jealous rage, Parker lunged at him, and the two men struggled for the weapon. Willie and the other Sweepers drew their guns, but none of them could find a clear shot at the psychiatrist. Jarod watched with horror from inside the air vent, wondering what Sydney could have been thinking in provoking the attack with such an outlandish statement. But then Jarod couldn’t be sure if it was a lie or not, only that Sydney somehow wanted to give Mr. Parker a fair chance in fighting for his life.
Jarod spoke under his breath, "Come on, Angelo, where is the diversion...?"
A moment later, an explosion from the bowels of the Centre rocked the room, putting a quick end to all else. The Sweepers holstered their guns, and followed by Dr. Raines, ran from the room to ascertain what had happened. Mr. Parker slowly got up from the floor, walked to the door and straightened his tie.
"We’re not finished, you and I."
"Far from it."
Parker quickly exited the room, leaving Sydney alone. A moment later the vent to the air shaft opened, and Jarod crawled out.
"Jarod! What are you doing in there?"
The pretender smiled at his mentor. "Just making sure you didn’t do anything rash."
Sydney smiled. "I’d hardly call the attempted murder of Mr. Parker and Dr. Raines ‘rash’ - it was thirty years in the making." Sydney stared into the dark eyes of his student. "How long were you in there?"
"Long enough to need an explanation."
Sydney turned away from Jarod and walked toward the wall with his arms across himself. "I wish you hadn’t heard all of it."
"But I did."
Sydney shook his head. "It hardly matters now. They’ll give Miss Parker the files and--"
"--No, they won’t." Jarod pulled the copies and the originals from his backpack and handed them to Sydney. "This ought to restore the balance of lopsided power."
The older man stared into the pretender’s eyes. "I don’t know what to say, Jarod. I assume you read the files...."
The pretender nodded. "Why didn’t you ever tell her?"
"Because I don’t believe that knowing this particular truth is something that will help her live a better a life, Jarod." They stared at each other, then Sydney continued, "That, and frankly, I’m not altogether positive that it’s the truth."
Jarod shook his head. "Where does it end?"
Sydney shrugged. "I don’t know. Maybe it never will."
"Mr. Parker eluded to a secret that won’t last forever....what was he talking about?"
Sydney stared at Jarod, unreadable. "I have no idea."
The younger man observed his teacher for a moment. "What about Catherine Parker? Did you have an affair with her, or didn’t you?"
One of Sydney’s eyebrows raised, "Jarod, I taught you better manners than to ask a question like that; let me hold onto a little mystery......"
"I guess some secrets do last forever."
Sydney pat the young man’s shoulder. "Jarod, you’d better go, they’ll be coming back soon, and I need to destroy the copies and safely hide the originals. You’re sure they can’t reproduce any of this?"
"Angelo deleted all the files they had on the mainframe. They would need the originals again in order to fake convincing copies."
Sydney nodded. "All right then, off you go, before they discover you’ve been here."
Jarod hoisted himself into the vent, but before he replaced the grate, he looked back at Sydney. "You’re never going to tell her?"
"I’m never going to tell her."
"What if I tell her?"
Sydney shrugged. "I suppose that’s your prerogative, Jarod. But I would hope you would consider all the consequences in so doing. Silence is sometimes the most unlikely ally, but often the best one."
Jarod nodded, replaced the grate and disappeared in the Centre’s ventilation system. He found it sadly familiar that he left the Centre with many more questions than when he arrived.
----------------------------------
Sydney had just finished replacing the loose tile in the floor when he heard footsteps approaching his office. He quickly moved over to his desk, sat down and picked up a book, opening it to no particular page. The footsteps stopped in the doorway as the angry voice spoke.
"Where is it?"
Sydney’s timbre was nonchalant, and he didn’t bother to look up from his reading. "Where is what, Mr. Parker?"
"The file."
Sydney calmly closed the book, and gently set it down on the desk, then he turned to look at the angry man in the doorway, a slight smile tugging at his lips. "I don’t know what you’re talking about."
Parker took an aggressive step into the office. "The files and the DSA, Sydney, they’re missing, and you have them."
The doctor’s eyebrows shot up in mock-surprise as he stood, taking the book and moving toward his bookshelves. "Oh, that......"
Parker glared. "Yes, that."
Sydney placed the book on the shelf and turned to Parker. "I believe we can all rest assured knowing that the items in question are in safekeeping."
Mr. Parker moved closer, sneering. "Don’t play games with me, Sydney, I’m in no mood."
Sydney’s head tilted slightly to one side. "Ah, yes, the explosion. Messy to cleanup and a bitch to explain." He moved past Parker toward his desk again. "But then you are a master of survival tactics when dealing with the Triumvirate, so, it shouldn’t be too difficult for you."
Parker pulled a gun from a holster under his jacket and pointed it at Sydney’s midsection. "If you want to continue breathing, Sydney, you’ll hand over the files and the DSA."
Sydney’s dark eyes turned to steel. "Go ahead, pull the trigger. You’ll never find them."
Parker stared hard into the sea of velvet brown. "You’d rather die than lose control of this."
"It’s more accurate to say that I am willing to make any sacrifice necessary to keep you from destroying Miss Parker’s life." Sydney smiled. "But, since the items are out of your hands, we are once again in a stalemate, Mr. Parker; so it looks like business as usual."
Parker returned the smile. "Not quite, Sydney. Even with the file and DSA lost to me, I can still rid myself of you once and for all....."
Sydney’s face turned thoughtful. "Yes, you could, but then you’ll have to explain my sudden misfortune to Miss Parker."
"My daughter will simply be told that you went postal when I confronted you about your relationship with Catherine."
"She’ll know that’s a lie."
"But a doubt is a seed well-planted, doctor. You of all people know that...."
"Yes, I suppose that I do."
The two men stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, a silent challenge passing between them. Parker’s hand tightened around the handle of the gun, as he thought about blowing a hole in the doctor’s chest. Sydney finally spoke, his voice soft and devoid of blame.
"You don’t want her knowing the real truth anymore than I do; it was quite an act you put on in Raines’ office." Parker glared at the psychiatrist, and Sydney continued, "You were the one who took the files, but you weren’t the one who doctored them. You took them to destroy them, and the evidence of what you’ve done, but Mr. Raines had a different plan."
"You’ve always been clever, Sydney."
"And now we’re back to square one, and a precariously balanced power."
"Not quite, doctor." Parker paused, glaring. "I know the truth about you and Catherine--"
"--What truth?" The feminine voice in the doorway startled the two men.
Parker answered her without turning around, as he quickly re-holstered his gun. "Don’t you know that eavesdropping is a bad habit, Angel?" He turned then to face her, an insincere smile on his face.
She gritted her teeth, "What truth?"
Parker placed his hands on her arms. "I’m sorry Angel, I never wanted you to know this, but your mother was seeing Sydney......as a patient." Sydney looked over at Parker with thinly-veiled surprise, and Miss Parker’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. "It isn’t anything for you to feel badly about, Angel, your mother needed help, and she was just trying to get it."
"And you think this is news, Daddy?"
The older man’s lips pursed as he considered the comment. "Well, it was news to me." Mr. Parker leaned in, kissed her on the cheek, and headed toward the door. "Are you coming, Angel?"
"In a minute, Daddy, I have a little unfinished business with Dr. Strangelove...."
Parker snorted derisively and looked hard at the psychiatrist. "Don’t we all...."
Mr. Parker turned quickly and disappeared down the hall, leaving Miss Parker and Sydney alone. And the air in the room was suddenly quite stale. Finally she looked up into the soft brown eyes that carefully observed her, as they had for as long as she could remember.
"I wasn’t sure what I would find when I got here....."
He smiled slightly, "Business as usual, Parker, that’s all." His smile disappeared and his eyes turned serious, "But I thought I advised you to leave the Centre, Miss Parker......"
She looked down. "I couldn’t." Her eyes darted up to his, the intensity in them holding him in their fire. "I had this overwhelming--" She couldn’t finish the thought, and he smiled.
"An overwhelming sense of incompletion."
"Yes."
He moved a few paces away. "The inner sense. It’s guiding you more and more, just as it did--"
"--My mother." He nodded and Parker continued, "Sydney, please tell me what you know." He looked deeply into her eyes, and she pleaded with him, "You can’t protect me forever; I have to know the truth."
He frowned at her for a moment, then looked at the floor. "The truth isn’t always a liberator, you know, sometimes it can imprison...."
Her eyes shone with disappointment and bitter regret, and he realized he had to at least share part of it with her. With a heavy sigh, Sydney pulled a DSA from his pocket and put it in the machine on his desk. He held his chair out for her, and slowly she sat in it. He pressed a button, and the images came to life.....
Catherine Parker, her face bruised and swollen, wept openly in Sydney’s office. "Each time it’s worse, Sydney. I don’t know what to do, I’m afraid....I’m afraid that he’ll--"
He gently took her hands in his. "You’re afraid he might take it out on the child." She nodded and he continued, his voice growing soft. "What are you going to do?"
"I’m going to get her out of here, Sydney. I’m going to take her far away so that none of the evil of this place can touch her." She looked at him, hard. "B ut I need your help."
"Anything, Catherine, you know that."
"I have a plan, and I think it will work, but it’s dangerous....especially your part in it."
He kissed her hands, "If it helps you, and the child, I’m willing."
She reached up and softly stroked his cheek. "It’s not going to be easy. You’ll have to do things, Sydney; things that go against everything you believe in. And you’ll have to be convincing...."
Catherine pulled his face toward hers and kissed him gently on the lips. He stared at her in momentary confusion, but then understanding dawned in his chestnut brown eyes, and he looked away.
His timbre was soft, ashamed, "I don’t think I’ll have any problems being convincing...."
The DSA faded out, and Parker brushed away the tears in her eyes. She looked up and realized that Sydney had moved away, and was leaning against his file cabinet, deep in thought. Parker stood and walked over to him, placing a gently hand on his arm.
"What you said back at the house about your relationship....it was the truth."
His voice was barely a whisper, and he didn’t look at her as he answered, "Yes."
"Does my father know?"
"Yes and no." She frowned at him, and he explained, "It’s complicated, Parker. He knows there was something between us, he just isn’t sure exactly what."
The nickel dropped for her. "And you perpetuate the doubt." He nodded and her voice turned cold, "Isn’t that a little cruel, Pavlov?"
His timbre suddenly matched hers in temperature, "I told you, it’s complicated."
He moved away from her and she followed him. "But how can you--" She stopped in mid-sentence as the voice from within became clear. "A balance of power...... This is your way of somehow keeping the scales from tipping." She looked at him, but he gave no indication of confirmation. "But I don’t understand how--"
He turned toward her, grasping her arms. "Parker, let it go." Her eyes remained determined and he continued, "Even your mother knew when to let a trusted friend protect her.....it’s something you still need to learn."
She stared at him for a long moment her eyes filling with tears, but none daring to fall. Then in answer, she shrugged out of his grip, quietly walked over to his desk and opened the top right-hand drawer. She pulled out a small piece of Belgian chocolate, unwrapped it, and popped it in her mouth.
Her voice was light, as if describing the chocolate, but her dark grey eyes carried the underlying meaning of her words. "I had forgotten what a comfort it could be."
Without further comment, Miss Parker softly left the room, leaving Sydney to his silent tears.
********************
"What do you mean you didn’t kill him?"
"I didn’t get the files, or the DSA, and as long as he has them, we can’t do a thing to him, and he knows it."
"Yes," Raines wheezed, "but as long as the files exist, we still have a chance to alter the experiment. But, if he ever turns truly altruistic, he might destroy them to protect her, despite the consequences to himself."
"I don’t think so; over the past thirty years, Sydney has always managed to cover his own ass." Raines frowned, thinking, and Parker’s timbre showed his annoyance. "What?"
"Over the years I’ve often wondered if it’s Sydney who’s covering his own ass or someone else."
"Someone else?"
A sickening smile tugged at the bald man’s lips. "Perhaps he has some kind of guardian angel...."
Parker shivered as the squeaky wheels of the oxygen tank intertwined with the laughter of its owner as he exited the room. He couldn’t shake the memory of white roses mixed with China mums sitting in a vase on his dining room table; it was as if it had seen them yesterday. Parker shoved the remembrance aside; a ghost was far too unlikely an ally.
******************
Sydney held the old file folder and three DSAs in his hand. He opened the folder and glanced down at the words he knew she must never read. Taking a deep breath, he held the items slightly away from him, struck a match, held it to the paper until the flames flared, and without another thought, tossed the burning debris into the metal trash can on the floor. He watched as the flames danced above the rim of the small wastebasket. Let Parker and Raines come after him; let the Centre eat him alive - as long as the truth that shouldn’t be spoken was permanently silenced - he no longer cared.
And then it was there, that overwhelming sense; the one voice within that he could not quiet. And he knew he owed her an explanation....
*****************
He stood in front of her, looking solemnly into her face. Her shiny black hair, soft grey eyes, and pouty lips could twist him around her finger, and his feelings for her would never change. He felt his eyes sting, and he smiled in irony; the coldness of the stone at his feet brought his mind back to the present.
"Oh Catherine, how I miss you...."
He bent down to place the bouquet of white roses and China mums on the old headstone, and the voice from behind startled him.
"The memories come in bits and pieces, and I’m never really sure if I’m remembering my past or seeing my future."
He didn’t turn to look at her, but his voice belied his strong emotion, "What have you remembered?"
"That night at the house.....she begged you to protect her; to protect me. And you told her that you would do whatever she needed. The two of you weren’t alone in the room, there were sweepers. She told you that no matter what happened, you had to take care of me. She made you promise her that you would see to it that nothing ever happened to me, and for that favor, she said she’d always be near you, watching." Miss Parker paused for a moment, then continued in a softer voice. "I sometimes think I feel her with me, but you sense her presence all around you, don’t you...."
His voice was a whisper, and he kept his back to her. "Yes."
"Teach me, Sydney....like you did her. Help me to understand how to use the inner sense .....please."
He closed his eyes tightly, his back straightening slightly. "I......can’t."
"You mean won’t."
He finally turned to face her. "Parker, you don’t understand."
"Then explain it to me." He hesitated and her voice turned caustic. "I know you shared some kind of special....connection to my mother, but that doesn’t give you a right to shut me out."
Sydney could feel her reaching out with her inner sense, and he stared at her, as he felt an all too familiar mental link. The color drained from his face, and finally he uttered, "I should have known....."
"Known what?"
The mental signature that was so unique, that was so familiar, and so comforting, was not Catherine Parker; and yet it was exact in every respect. And in that moment, he realized that it had not been Catherine’s voice he had been hearing all these years, but Miss Parker’s. She had been the one to reach out to him, unaware of her power within. Tears filled his eyes as he gently ran a hand through her hair. Parker frowned at him, but resisted the instinct to pull away from the affection.
"What is it?"
He smiled sadly and turned away from her, once again facing the grave of his dear friend. His graceful hand reached out and brushed across the headstone, feeling the smooth stone beneath.
His voice was a soft caress in its simple statement of fact. "I miss her."
Not prepared for such a display of bare emotion and stark honesty, Parker felt the sting of tears. "So do I."
Without looking behind him, his hand reached back and a moment later he felt the smaller one slide into it. He held it tightly as he had when she was a little girl.
Her voice was a whisper. "I never knew you felt this strongly about her."
"Yes you did." He glanced back at her. "Your conscious mind didn’t want to accept it."
"Will I ever know the truth, Sydney?"
He turned to face her then, taking her hands in his own, his soft brown eyes looking earnestly into her grey ones. "The truth is there, Parker. You’re just not ready to see it yet." He put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him as he moved her toward the paved road beyond. "I’ll be here to help you when the time comes....."
Parker put her arm around his waist and leaned into him as they walked. It had been a long time since she had accepted his comfort, but the voice inside told her that he would protect her with his life if it came to that. And she couldn’t help but wonder why.
The End
