The Reason by icd
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Chapter or Story 
Chapter or Story
Disclaimer: see part one
Author’s Note: People, there is a song that inspired me to write this whole story. It’s from Hoobastank and it’s called “The Reason”. I originally wanted to make a song-fic out of this but somehow it didn’t turn out right. The lyrics are displayed at the end of the chapter now.
Author’s Note II: Wow! So much feedback. The chapter really seemed to have shaken you all up somehow. Glad that you all liked it that much.
~~~~~~~
The Reason
Part 2
It had been four days since he had found her in that devastating state. Pure instinct had driven him over to her that night. It was no more than luck and a bad feeling that had him leaving his things in a lair and appearing on her doorstep, finding her before it was too late.
He had been there the next three nights, without her knowledge. He just had to make sure that she was ok.
Just as he was here now. Everything was dark in the house. He frowned and looked at his watch. Maybe she wasn’t home yet?
Jarod shrugged. Letting himself in through the back entrance, he waited for his eyes to adjust to the semi-darkness. He walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. That’s where he stopped short.
The photos were gone. He looked around.
The furniture was still there but the smaller things, the things that he knew Parker loved dearly - those things were gone.
He quickly walked through the rest of the house. When he saw that the two photos - one of Tommy and her and the other one of her mother and her as a little girl - that had been standing on the nightstand were gone as well, he knew that he wouldn’t find her anywhere near this house.
She had obviously left. He turned around and let his eyes wander around the bedroom. The house suddenly felt empty.
It was as if - together with Parker - a spark of life had left it.
Jarod turned and was about to leave the room, when his eyes landed on a blanket that was lying on the floor in front of the small stool. Normally it was lying on the stool. It was still folded neatly.
Jarod walked over to it and bent down.
It was the same blanket they had been wrapped into the morning they had watched the sunrise.
The corners of his mouth twitched and he let his hands wander over the surface of the blanket and then into the fold. When his fingers made contact with a sheet of paper, the smile widened.
He drew his hand back and looked at the paper that had come out with his hand.
A message was written on it. It was very short. All it said was:
The reason is you, Jarod. We will see each other again.
Thank you my friend,
Melina
He laughed softly. Standing up he drew out his cell phone and dialled Sydney’s number.
Trying to reach Parker would be pointless. She was too good to take her cell with her, risking being traced by the Centre that way. But he wanted to ask Sydney if he knew anything and if not, he needed to reassure his old mentor that Parker would be fine.
“This is Sydney.”
“It will change everything,” Jarod stated without preamble.
“Jarod,” Sydney exclaimed and then rambled on excitedly, “Jarod, she’s gone. Miss Parker didn’t appear at work today. Broots and I have been over at her place but nothing seemed to be out of place. I don’t know if anything happened to her.”
“I know. She’s gone,” he replied softly.
“Do you know where she is?” Sydney asked. “Do we have to worry about her?”
Jarod shook his head. “I don’t know where she is but I doubt that we need to worry. She’s capable of taking care of herself. She just decided to quit. I’m sure that she will be fine,” Jarod smiled and then disconnected.
So, she had finally dared to break free…
He left the house and looked back once more.
He had left her with a good feeling that evening four days ago. He had debated with himself for a long time what he should do.
After finding her the way he had - with the gun pressed to her temple, ready to fire – a gruesome sight that still sent shivers down his spine, he hadn’t known how to get her feet back to the ground safely.
He had talked for hours, trying to install some kind of security and fighting spirit in her. It had been easy to see that she had given up on herself, given up on her life. But with every little story he had told, he had gotten the feeling that bit by bit, piece by piece, she was turning her back on the end she had nearly chosen for herself.
And when he had left her in the early morning, he had left with the belief that she would be fine.
He had debated with himself if he should ask her to come along, to join him in his flight but eventually he had decided against it.
It would have been the perfect time to ask her, if he had wanted to make her dependant on him.
She had been a mere shell of the woman he had always known and admired, and had he asked her to come with him, she would most certainly have followed him. But she would have followed out of the hope that he would make her whole again. He would have been some kind of crutch for her.
Maybe he would have even been able to turn that dependency into a love affair but it wouldn’t have been fair to either of them. To her it would have been cruel, and to himself it would have been unsatisfying.
No, he had decided then and he would make the same decision again if the situation was presented to him again.
She needed to get on her feet alone.
That decision was not born out of cruelty or refusal of help; it was best for them both.
She needed to find the strength to move on, something that he couldn’t install in her on a long-term basis. She needed to find that will for herself and then she needed to find the strength to go through with it. Only that would give her the satisfaction and fulfilment she needed before they would have a chance to find each other.
He still hoped that she would come to him one day; he still wanted her as a partner – but he wanted her as an equal partner and not as the dependant woman she would have become had he taken her with him that day.
He knew that he didn’t need to worry about her not finding him. If she wanted to, she had always had the power to find him, of giving him secret messages. Just as she had brought this message to him, she would find a way to contact him if she wanted to.
For him the question of what he was going to do from now on presented itself. With her gone a huge part of why he still played the game with the Centre was gone as well.
He didn’t know if he wanted to keep playing a game he had – in all secrecy – already become tired of. Perhaps it was time to end his game of hide and seek, but that would have to wait.
Disappearing now would make the Centre more than suspicious, leading them to believe that Parker was with him.
They would only hunt them both more determinedly if they thought that to be true. If they thought Miss Parker on the flight alone, having turned her back on the corporation was bad enough, but with the nagging suspicion that she was with ‘their’ pretender, they wouldn’t rest until they found them both.
No, Jarod decided. He would continue leaving clues for the Centre; maybe a few more months and then he would disappear as well.
That postponement would give Parker enough time to disappear completely and for the Centre to not see the connection his disappearance had with hers.
He finally turned away from her former home and left it behind.
There would be a new pretend waiting for him soon. Even though he didn’t want to go on any longer, he had a reason to move on:
The knowledge that Parker was free from the Centre, that she had finally turned her back on that corporation and now the hope that she would join him some day.
He smiled.
That was his reason to go on.
The End! Or To Be Continued?
Anyway, here are the lyrics I promised:
Hoobastank “The Reason”
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Author’s Note: People, there is a song that inspired me to write this whole story. It’s from Hoobastank and it’s called “The Reason”. I originally wanted to make a song-fic out of this but somehow it didn’t turn out right. The lyrics are displayed at the end of the chapter now.
Author’s Note II: Wow! So much feedback. The chapter really seemed to have shaken you all up somehow. Glad that you all liked it that much.
~~~~~~~
Part 2
It had been four days since he had found her in that devastating state. Pure instinct had driven him over to her that night. It was no more than luck and a bad feeling that had him leaving his things in a lair and appearing on her doorstep, finding her before it was too late.
He had been there the next three nights, without her knowledge. He just had to make sure that she was ok.
Just as he was here now. Everything was dark in the house. He frowned and looked at his watch. Maybe she wasn’t home yet?
Jarod shrugged. Letting himself in through the back entrance, he waited for his eyes to adjust to the semi-darkness. He walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. That’s where he stopped short.
The photos were gone. He looked around.
The furniture was still there but the smaller things, the things that he knew Parker loved dearly - those things were gone.
He quickly walked through the rest of the house. When he saw that the two photos - one of Tommy and her and the other one of her mother and her as a little girl - that had been standing on the nightstand were gone as well, he knew that he wouldn’t find her anywhere near this house.
She had obviously left. He turned around and let his eyes wander around the bedroom. The house suddenly felt empty.
It was as if - together with Parker - a spark of life had left it.
Jarod turned and was about to leave the room, when his eyes landed on a blanket that was lying on the floor in front of the small stool. Normally it was lying on the stool. It was still folded neatly.
Jarod walked over to it and bent down.
It was the same blanket they had been wrapped into the morning they had watched the sunrise.
The corners of his mouth twitched and he let his hands wander over the surface of the blanket and then into the fold. When his fingers made contact with a sheet of paper, the smile widened.
He drew his hand back and looked at the paper that had come out with his hand.
A message was written on it. It was very short. All it said was:
The reason is you, Jarod. We will see each other again.
Thank you my friend,
Melina
He laughed softly. Standing up he drew out his cell phone and dialled Sydney’s number.
Trying to reach Parker would be pointless. She was too good to take her cell with her, risking being traced by the Centre that way. But he wanted to ask Sydney if he knew anything and if not, he needed to reassure his old mentor that Parker would be fine.
“This is Sydney.”
“It will change everything,” Jarod stated without preamble.
“Jarod,” Sydney exclaimed and then rambled on excitedly, “Jarod, she’s gone. Miss Parker didn’t appear at work today. Broots and I have been over at her place but nothing seemed to be out of place. I don’t know if anything happened to her.”
“I know. She’s gone,” he replied softly.
“Do you know where she is?” Sydney asked. “Do we have to worry about her?”
Jarod shook his head. “I don’t know where she is but I doubt that we need to worry. She’s capable of taking care of herself. She just decided to quit. I’m sure that she will be fine,” Jarod smiled and then disconnected.
So, she had finally dared to break free…
He left the house and looked back once more.
He had left her with a good feeling that evening four days ago. He had debated with himself for a long time what he should do.
After finding her the way he had - with the gun pressed to her temple, ready to fire – a gruesome sight that still sent shivers down his spine, he hadn’t known how to get her feet back to the ground safely.
He had talked for hours, trying to install some kind of security and fighting spirit in her. It had been easy to see that she had given up on herself, given up on her life. But with every little story he had told, he had gotten the feeling that bit by bit, piece by piece, she was turning her back on the end she had nearly chosen for herself.
And when he had left her in the early morning, he had left with the belief that she would be fine.
He had debated with himself if he should ask her to come along, to join him in his flight but eventually he had decided against it.
It would have been the perfect time to ask her, if he had wanted to make her dependant on him.
She had been a mere shell of the woman he had always known and admired, and had he asked her to come with him, she would most certainly have followed him. But she would have followed out of the hope that he would make her whole again. He would have been some kind of crutch for her.
Maybe he would have even been able to turn that dependency into a love affair but it wouldn’t have been fair to either of them. To her it would have been cruel, and to himself it would have been unsatisfying.
No, he had decided then and he would make the same decision again if the situation was presented to him again.
She needed to get on her feet alone.
That decision was not born out of cruelty or refusal of help; it was best for them both.
She needed to find the strength to move on, something that he couldn’t install in her on a long-term basis. She needed to find that will for herself and then she needed to find the strength to go through with it. Only that would give her the satisfaction and fulfilment she needed before they would have a chance to find each other.
He still hoped that she would come to him one day; he still wanted her as a partner – but he wanted her as an equal partner and not as the dependant woman she would have become had he taken her with him that day.
He knew that he didn’t need to worry about her not finding him. If she wanted to, she had always had the power to find him, of giving him secret messages. Just as she had brought this message to him, she would find a way to contact him if she wanted to.
For him the question of what he was going to do from now on presented itself. With her gone a huge part of why he still played the game with the Centre was gone as well.
He didn’t know if he wanted to keep playing a game he had – in all secrecy – already become tired of. Perhaps it was time to end his game of hide and seek, but that would have to wait.
Disappearing now would make the Centre more than suspicious, leading them to believe that Parker was with him.
They would only hunt them both more determinedly if they thought that to be true. If they thought Miss Parker on the flight alone, having turned her back on the corporation was bad enough, but with the nagging suspicion that she was with ‘their’ pretender, they wouldn’t rest until they found them both.
No, Jarod decided. He would continue leaving clues for the Centre; maybe a few more months and then he would disappear as well.
That postponement would give Parker enough time to disappear completely and for the Centre to not see the connection his disappearance had with hers.
He finally turned away from her former home and left it behind.
There would be a new pretend waiting for him soon. Even though he didn’t want to go on any longer, he had a reason to move on:
The knowledge that Parker was free from the Centre, that she had finally turned her back on that corporation and now the hope that she would join him some day.
He smiled.
That was his reason to go on.
The End! Or To Be Continued?
Anyway, here are the lyrics I promised:
Hoobastank “The Reason”
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
