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Chapter or Story 
Chapter or Story
I can happily announce that my beta-angel found time again to help me out! I am eternally grateful especially since I know that she has a whole lot of things to do! *a big hug is sent mentally over the Atlantic*
House of Cards
Part 5
It was half past eleven at night. Miss Parker contemplated on whether to go straight to bed or return to the living room and finish the bottle of scotch that was left from last night. She was well aware that her consummation of alcohol had skyrocketed lately.
Jarod was still as elusive as ever. She had been on the edge for weeks now and it got worse every day. Earlier that day her temper got the best of her and Broots and Lyle had to bear the brunt. While she knew Lyle deserved nothing less, she felt sorry for Broots.
But Miss Parker was sure that her technician would forgive her; he always did. Maybe she’d make it up to him tomorrow. She was certain that a single heartfelt smile would make his day, hell, his week. It still amazed her how easily he forgave her every horrible word or thing she’d ever said or done.
Broots was supposed to have cleared some data for her by late afternoon. Miss Parker had been waiting and her patience had already run out. At six o’clock the computer-geek finally knocked and opened her office door slowly. He had not even crossed the threshold; he had only sneaked his head between the door and frame.
"Uh, Miss Parker I'm sorry. I will have everything you asked me for done by tomorrow morning. I... I had to do something else. Well, anyway, tomorrow, I promise. Ah, I really gotta go now."
"Broots, something else? What was so important? Why are you standing there? Get in here and enlighten me of the oh so important work!"
"I don't really have to come in. This is more of a stick-your-head-in-the-door kind of conversation."
"If you don't come in it will be a slam-your-head-in-the-door kind of conversation. So get your sorry ass in here NOW!"
Before she had yelled the last word, Miss Parker had gotten up from her desk and was already at the door. She had grabbed Broots by his shirt and yanked him rather forcefully inside.
Only after she had seen the scared expression on his face did she back off. His helpless but desperate look had immediately registered with her and she had calmed down to at least give him a chance to explain.
That morning Mr. Lyle had apparently shown up in the tech room with the 'I must be obeyed' attitude all the Parkers seemed to be so good at and the order to leave everything else on the back burner. He had to decipher one of Jarod's leads, which Lyle's team had found. Lyle had not left until Broots was finished. It had been a hoax, like so many times before, but the day was over and Broots had promised his daughter to be home by seven.
Miss Parker was in her bathroom drying her hair while thinking about this little incident. She still had to decide between her bed and a drink.
Just then her phone rang. Someone else had decided for her. She went into the living room to pick it up and pour herself the drink. She was sure she needed it to deal with whoever was on the line. It was probably someone from the Centre, most likely Lyle. But she honestly hoped that it would be the pretender.
"What?"
"How is everything at the hellhole?"
"Hmm, Jarod what an honor!"
"Miss me?"
"Oh, we miss you everyday labrat. Don’t you know?"
Jarod was not in the mood for playing their usual game. So he decided to cut to the chase.
"Miss Parker, what would you say if I asked you to meet me?"
"What?"
"Listen. I have information that concerns you too, and I’m willing to share, if you’re ready to leave them behind just this once. Are you?"
Miss Parker was about to yell at him when she realized that she didn’t want to fight with him. Not tonight, and not over this. The other day her only wish was to meet him again and talk to him. He was offering her just that.
"Ok. When and where?"
Now it was Jarod’s turn to become incredulous. "What?"
He had expected her to fight him. He had actually prepared a rather long speech that could convince her.
***************
Jarod was still surprised she had agreed so easily to meet him. Could it be a trap? Would she deceive him? He had been willing to believe in her but old habits and his sense of self-preservation had kicked in. The pretender had prepared the scenery and had simmed every possible incident. If it had been only about him he would’ve put his life on the line, if only to prove himself - as well as her - that he indeed did trust her. But this was about his mother too and he was not ready to put her in danger, not even for Miss Parker.
So he had left his mother behind, safe in a rented house a few miles away. He first needed to talk to his long-time quarry alone anyway. And he wanted to prepare her for what was about to happen. Jarod was sure that Miss Parker’s temper would flare after he told her the news. He’d let her vent a little and then talk to her. Really talk to her. His plan was to convince her to join him and his family in the fight against the Centre. Whatever the details in Catherine’s plan were, it had to be about fighting them. As soon as they both knew about it, they could do it together. And along that line they could become friends again; well, she could learn to see him as a friend again. Because in Jarod’s opinion she had always been his best friend in life.
******
Miss Parker waited on a bench beside the big baseball field in Central Park. Various teams, mostly Little League, were occupying different parts of the field practising. Her eyes wandered from her left to the field and then to her right. From what direction would he appear? Maybe he would just fall from the sky; in an attempt to surprise her he’d decided to jump out of an airplane.
She knew he had checked the area as well as her trip up here. She understood his need for safety. She would do the same. Ironically, that perfectionism in ensuring no one uninvited would show up saved her the trouble of doing the same. If Jarod would show up, she’d be safe from prying Centre-eyes. If he wouldn’t, it meant someone had followed her; either way they’d both be safe.
Her mind went back to what actually made her want to meet him. Whatever information he had, she wanted to clear some unresolved issues first.
Jarod watched her from behind a tree a few yards to her right. She looked incredible. He saw a bypassing jogger who tried to impress the seated woman by stopping nearby and doing some stretching, clearly hoping she would notice him and appreciate the sight. He saw a couple pass by and the male partner would crane his neck to catch another look at her legs. But Jarod himself couldn’t take his eyes off her for long either. How was it that a look at this woman always made his heart jump and his head feel light?
As unimpressed as possible he finally walked up to her. She felt him before he even had said a word.
"Central Park Jarod? All kinds of vermin, drunks, junkies and insane people. Couldn’t you think of a nicer place for this ‘truce’? You know, maybe the Plaza or at least the Tavern on the Green?"
"I don’t know Miss Parker. From what I could tell, you looked rather relaxed, almost as if you enjoyed this place. And by the way, I can’t imagine anyone insane enough to actually want to get into a fight with you."
The pretender had taken the spot on the bench to her left. Sitting side by side they watched the children hit balls and run, both careful to not touch each other. They were not even looking at one another.
After a few moments of silence Jarod couldn’t hold back anymore.
"I found my mother."
That made her turn and face him for the first time. She saw the pride and joy in his eyes.
The unexpected news made her smile. It was one of those few pure and honest smiles that she graced people with so rarely. It reached her eyes and he saw the joy in them. Jarod bathed in that sight, now more happy than he could ever remember being.
"I’m happy for you, I really am." This would make it a lot easier, she thought.
"She wants to meet you."
"She what?" The precious smile disappeared and instead her eyes grew bigger and bigger. She must have misunderstood something there.
"Miss Parker, as you know, she has met your mother. And not only that, your mother told her about her plan."
"My mother’s plan?" She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to hear it.
"I don’t know anything about it yet. When my mother told me, I suggested that you should hear it as well. You deserve to hear it first."
"Where is your mother?"
"At a safe house out of town. I’ll take you there." Jarod rose from the bench and got ready to leave. When she didn’t follow him, he turned around expectantly. "I have the car nearby, we can go right away."
"No. Jarod sit down. I need to talk to you first."
The pretender was at a loss here. She had the chance of hearing about a secret she’d been trying to uncover for years. The usually impatient woman now somehow hesitated. She looked more tense now, something important was on her mind.
After Jarod had returned to his spot beside her she suddenly felt uncomfortable sitting so close to him. Now the woman rose to her feet, but she didn’t go anywhere. Parker placed herself right in front of him and looked down.
"Jarod, I appreciate your effort to help me uncover my mother’s secret. I want to meet your mother. But I’d rather go alone. I won’t betray you, or her, for that matter. I promise. I just want to go alone."
"Why?"
"Because…because I came here today to tell you to leave. For good I mean. I wanted to tell you to let go. And it’s easier now, since you’ve found the last piece of your family. I’ll go see your mother, hear what she has to tell me. Then you can get her and leave. No more games. No more breadcrumbs. Just live the life you’ve been searching for for so long."
"As soon as we know about the plan, I intend to do just that. But I actually had someone else in mind to come along. Come with us Miss Parker. Come with me!"
"Jarod, that turning point you’ve been talking about is yours to take now. Not mine. I can’t leave and I won’t. And the last thing I want is to run with your family of all people."
"They’d understand. If they don’t, I’ll make them. And if I hadn’t made myself clear, I’m asking you to come with me, not them."
"It won’t work Jarod."
"Why not? Miss Parker you are my best friend. Don’t you see? I can’t leave you behind! I won’t."
"Hell Jarod, don’t be so dramatic about it! It won’t work. And I see very clearly what is going on here. You’re the one who tries so hard to deny the facts!"
Panic rose in Jarod. "I am not the one denying anything here! You are denying all of it. You deny our friendship, the feelings we have, our past, US!"
"Listen to me very carefully now. I’m only gonna say this once: I regard you as my friend, my best friend as well. Always have, always will. Whatever other feelings we might have don’t matter because of our past. Our past is what made me say all of this in the first place!"
"This is…"
"No, I told you to listen. Let me finish. Neither of us can really ever escape the Centre's influence. We were born into it, raised in it and screwed up royally by it and for good." Miss Parker paused a moment. She looked straight into his dark unbelieving eyes.
"Jarod, you can become everyone you want to be. You can pretend everything. But you CAN’T pretend your past away!"
In the following minutes the words were coming out of her mouth in an unending flow. She wanted to get it out now and get it over with. If he was too damn stubborn to face it, she’d make him see.
She explained how she saw the things. Starting with how he was a part of the Centre just as much as she was. Their past, their history was marked by the Centre. Miss Parker used all comparable situations that came to her mind: Just like no one ever really could run away from his childhood experiences, they couldn’t run from theirs. If one had a bicycle accident as a five year old the scar would always be there.
A child who had been constantly badgered by the chief bully in class would be affected for the rest of its life.
If a child was beaten by its father or abused by the new boyfriend of its mother, the horror of those incidents would stay forever.
"You can take therapy and get over most of your issues if you're ready to deal with the demons in your life but you could never abandon it or forget. Those experiences are part of who you are, part of what you became. And trying to deny it is like trying to deny your own existence. No matter what we do in the future there is no place for us together in it."
Jarod interrupted with a brief comment in an effort to stop her: "As you’ve just said, a person can deal with childhood issues."
"Maybe. But not when constantly reminded about those issues."
She again fell into a long monologue. Again she used the examples that seemed the closest and most immediate to him: The way he looked at children playing in parks, at how children would run up to their parents to show them something; at a kid that would come to its parents in tears, for it fell off the swing. Jarod would always look at a scene like that with hurt and pain, for he would feel the sting in his heart at not having been able to go through that experience in life himself.
Miss Parker didn’t shy away from giving him a look at her own emotions as well.
Every time someone would tell her 'trust me' she would look for the hidden agenda, for the lie. How could she trust anyone when in fact she had trusted someone for decades who had lied to her for as long as she could remember?
And as much as she hated the thought, every glimpse at a picture of her mother made her awfully aware of how much she missed her. As much as it had always served her as a lifeline, it also was the road to eternal damnation for her. The pictures reminded her of what she had lost.
Together they would only exaggerate those feelings. They would mutually serve as a reminder of their horrible past. They had to sever their connection. If it was impossible to do it mentally, they at least should do so physically. But on good terms she insisted: shaking hands, a pat on the shoulder maybe even a kiss on the cheek.
But the truth was: there was no future for them together. No future they could enjoy together.
All that came out in a furiously held monologue, without interruption, without many pauses. She wanted him to see it her way, and she was ready to fight, struggle, and kill if necessary: fight his objections, struggle with her own conscience, throw the words into his face and kill all of his hopes.
She was almost finished when she sat back down at his side. She looked and saw tears rolling down his face. And in a whisper she added:
"We are walking a fine line here -- we always were -- between being friends and being enemies. Friendship and hatred have always been the ingredients of our relationship. And neither of us can safely say what it is at certain moments. Hatred, compassion, irritation, embarrassment, insults, it’s all been there. We are lost here. There is no twosome Jarod. There is only a threesome for us: you, me and our past. The truth is: There is no hope in 'us' Jarod."
House of Cards
Part 5
It was half past eleven at night. Miss Parker contemplated on whether to go straight to bed or return to the living room and finish the bottle of scotch that was left from last night. She was well aware that her consummation of alcohol had skyrocketed lately.
Jarod was still as elusive as ever. She had been on the edge for weeks now and it got worse every day. Earlier that day her temper got the best of her and Broots and Lyle had to bear the brunt. While she knew Lyle deserved nothing less, she felt sorry for Broots.
But Miss Parker was sure that her technician would forgive her; he always did. Maybe she’d make it up to him tomorrow. She was certain that a single heartfelt smile would make his day, hell, his week. It still amazed her how easily he forgave her every horrible word or thing she’d ever said or done.
Broots was supposed to have cleared some data for her by late afternoon. Miss Parker had been waiting and her patience had already run out. At six o’clock the computer-geek finally knocked and opened her office door slowly. He had not even crossed the threshold; he had only sneaked his head between the door and frame.
"Uh, Miss Parker I'm sorry. I will have everything you asked me for done by tomorrow morning. I... I had to do something else. Well, anyway, tomorrow, I promise. Ah, I really gotta go now."
"Broots, something else? What was so important? Why are you standing there? Get in here and enlighten me of the oh so important work!"
"I don't really have to come in. This is more of a stick-your-head-in-the-door kind of conversation."
"If you don't come in it will be a slam-your-head-in-the-door kind of conversation. So get your sorry ass in here NOW!"
Before she had yelled the last word, Miss Parker had gotten up from her desk and was already at the door. She had grabbed Broots by his shirt and yanked him rather forcefully inside.
Only after she had seen the scared expression on his face did she back off. His helpless but desperate look had immediately registered with her and she had calmed down to at least give him a chance to explain.
That morning Mr. Lyle had apparently shown up in the tech room with the 'I must be obeyed' attitude all the Parkers seemed to be so good at and the order to leave everything else on the back burner. He had to decipher one of Jarod's leads, which Lyle's team had found. Lyle had not left until Broots was finished. It had been a hoax, like so many times before, but the day was over and Broots had promised his daughter to be home by seven.
Miss Parker was in her bathroom drying her hair while thinking about this little incident. She still had to decide between her bed and a drink.
Just then her phone rang. Someone else had decided for her. She went into the living room to pick it up and pour herself the drink. She was sure she needed it to deal with whoever was on the line. It was probably someone from the Centre, most likely Lyle. But she honestly hoped that it would be the pretender.
"What?"
"How is everything at the hellhole?"
"Hmm, Jarod what an honor!"
"Miss me?"
"Oh, we miss you everyday labrat. Don’t you know?"
Jarod was not in the mood for playing their usual game. So he decided to cut to the chase.
"Miss Parker, what would you say if I asked you to meet me?"
"What?"
"Listen. I have information that concerns you too, and I’m willing to share, if you’re ready to leave them behind just this once. Are you?"
Miss Parker was about to yell at him when she realized that she didn’t want to fight with him. Not tonight, and not over this. The other day her only wish was to meet him again and talk to him. He was offering her just that.
"Ok. When and where?"
Now it was Jarod’s turn to become incredulous. "What?"
He had expected her to fight him. He had actually prepared a rather long speech that could convince her.
***************
Jarod was still surprised she had agreed so easily to meet him. Could it be a trap? Would she deceive him? He had been willing to believe in her but old habits and his sense of self-preservation had kicked in. The pretender had prepared the scenery and had simmed every possible incident. If it had been only about him he would’ve put his life on the line, if only to prove himself - as well as her - that he indeed did trust her. But this was about his mother too and he was not ready to put her in danger, not even for Miss Parker.
So he had left his mother behind, safe in a rented house a few miles away. He first needed to talk to his long-time quarry alone anyway. And he wanted to prepare her for what was about to happen. Jarod was sure that Miss Parker’s temper would flare after he told her the news. He’d let her vent a little and then talk to her. Really talk to her. His plan was to convince her to join him and his family in the fight against the Centre. Whatever the details in Catherine’s plan were, it had to be about fighting them. As soon as they both knew about it, they could do it together. And along that line they could become friends again; well, she could learn to see him as a friend again. Because in Jarod’s opinion she had always been his best friend in life.
******
Miss Parker waited on a bench beside the big baseball field in Central Park. Various teams, mostly Little League, were occupying different parts of the field practising. Her eyes wandered from her left to the field and then to her right. From what direction would he appear? Maybe he would just fall from the sky; in an attempt to surprise her he’d decided to jump out of an airplane.
She knew he had checked the area as well as her trip up here. She understood his need for safety. She would do the same. Ironically, that perfectionism in ensuring no one uninvited would show up saved her the trouble of doing the same. If Jarod would show up, she’d be safe from prying Centre-eyes. If he wouldn’t, it meant someone had followed her; either way they’d both be safe.
Her mind went back to what actually made her want to meet him. Whatever information he had, she wanted to clear some unresolved issues first.
Jarod watched her from behind a tree a few yards to her right. She looked incredible. He saw a bypassing jogger who tried to impress the seated woman by stopping nearby and doing some stretching, clearly hoping she would notice him and appreciate the sight. He saw a couple pass by and the male partner would crane his neck to catch another look at her legs. But Jarod himself couldn’t take his eyes off her for long either. How was it that a look at this woman always made his heart jump and his head feel light?
As unimpressed as possible he finally walked up to her. She felt him before he even had said a word.
"Central Park Jarod? All kinds of vermin, drunks, junkies and insane people. Couldn’t you think of a nicer place for this ‘truce’? You know, maybe the Plaza or at least the Tavern on the Green?"
"I don’t know Miss Parker. From what I could tell, you looked rather relaxed, almost as if you enjoyed this place. And by the way, I can’t imagine anyone insane enough to actually want to get into a fight with you."
The pretender had taken the spot on the bench to her left. Sitting side by side they watched the children hit balls and run, both careful to not touch each other. They were not even looking at one another.
After a few moments of silence Jarod couldn’t hold back anymore.
"I found my mother."
That made her turn and face him for the first time. She saw the pride and joy in his eyes.
The unexpected news made her smile. It was one of those few pure and honest smiles that she graced people with so rarely. It reached her eyes and he saw the joy in them. Jarod bathed in that sight, now more happy than he could ever remember being.
"I’m happy for you, I really am." This would make it a lot easier, she thought.
"She wants to meet you."
"She what?" The precious smile disappeared and instead her eyes grew bigger and bigger. She must have misunderstood something there.
"Miss Parker, as you know, she has met your mother. And not only that, your mother told her about her plan."
"My mother’s plan?" She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to hear it.
"I don’t know anything about it yet. When my mother told me, I suggested that you should hear it as well. You deserve to hear it first."
"Where is your mother?"
"At a safe house out of town. I’ll take you there." Jarod rose from the bench and got ready to leave. When she didn’t follow him, he turned around expectantly. "I have the car nearby, we can go right away."
"No. Jarod sit down. I need to talk to you first."
The pretender was at a loss here. She had the chance of hearing about a secret she’d been trying to uncover for years. The usually impatient woman now somehow hesitated. She looked more tense now, something important was on her mind.
After Jarod had returned to his spot beside her she suddenly felt uncomfortable sitting so close to him. Now the woman rose to her feet, but she didn’t go anywhere. Parker placed herself right in front of him and looked down.
"Jarod, I appreciate your effort to help me uncover my mother’s secret. I want to meet your mother. But I’d rather go alone. I won’t betray you, or her, for that matter. I promise. I just want to go alone."
"Why?"
"Because…because I came here today to tell you to leave. For good I mean. I wanted to tell you to let go. And it’s easier now, since you’ve found the last piece of your family. I’ll go see your mother, hear what she has to tell me. Then you can get her and leave. No more games. No more breadcrumbs. Just live the life you’ve been searching for for so long."
"As soon as we know about the plan, I intend to do just that. But I actually had someone else in mind to come along. Come with us Miss Parker. Come with me!"
"Jarod, that turning point you’ve been talking about is yours to take now. Not mine. I can’t leave and I won’t. And the last thing I want is to run with your family of all people."
"They’d understand. If they don’t, I’ll make them. And if I hadn’t made myself clear, I’m asking you to come with me, not them."
"It won’t work Jarod."
"Why not? Miss Parker you are my best friend. Don’t you see? I can’t leave you behind! I won’t."
"Hell Jarod, don’t be so dramatic about it! It won’t work. And I see very clearly what is going on here. You’re the one who tries so hard to deny the facts!"
Panic rose in Jarod. "I am not the one denying anything here! You are denying all of it. You deny our friendship, the feelings we have, our past, US!"
"Listen to me very carefully now. I’m only gonna say this once: I regard you as my friend, my best friend as well. Always have, always will. Whatever other feelings we might have don’t matter because of our past. Our past is what made me say all of this in the first place!"
"This is…"
"No, I told you to listen. Let me finish. Neither of us can really ever escape the Centre's influence. We were born into it, raised in it and screwed up royally by it and for good." Miss Parker paused a moment. She looked straight into his dark unbelieving eyes.
"Jarod, you can become everyone you want to be. You can pretend everything. But you CAN’T pretend your past away!"
In the following minutes the words were coming out of her mouth in an unending flow. She wanted to get it out now and get it over with. If he was too damn stubborn to face it, she’d make him see.
She explained how she saw the things. Starting with how he was a part of the Centre just as much as she was. Their past, their history was marked by the Centre. Miss Parker used all comparable situations that came to her mind: Just like no one ever really could run away from his childhood experiences, they couldn’t run from theirs. If one had a bicycle accident as a five year old the scar would always be there.
A child who had been constantly badgered by the chief bully in class would be affected for the rest of its life.
If a child was beaten by its father or abused by the new boyfriend of its mother, the horror of those incidents would stay forever.
"You can take therapy and get over most of your issues if you're ready to deal with the demons in your life but you could never abandon it or forget. Those experiences are part of who you are, part of what you became. And trying to deny it is like trying to deny your own existence. No matter what we do in the future there is no place for us together in it."
Jarod interrupted with a brief comment in an effort to stop her: "As you’ve just said, a person can deal with childhood issues."
"Maybe. But not when constantly reminded about those issues."
She again fell into a long monologue. Again she used the examples that seemed the closest and most immediate to him: The way he looked at children playing in parks, at how children would run up to their parents to show them something; at a kid that would come to its parents in tears, for it fell off the swing. Jarod would always look at a scene like that with hurt and pain, for he would feel the sting in his heart at not having been able to go through that experience in life himself.
Miss Parker didn’t shy away from giving him a look at her own emotions as well.
Every time someone would tell her 'trust me' she would look for the hidden agenda, for the lie. How could she trust anyone when in fact she had trusted someone for decades who had lied to her for as long as she could remember?
And as much as she hated the thought, every glimpse at a picture of her mother made her awfully aware of how much she missed her. As much as it had always served her as a lifeline, it also was the road to eternal damnation for her. The pictures reminded her of what she had lost.
Together they would only exaggerate those feelings. They would mutually serve as a reminder of their horrible past. They had to sever their connection. If it was impossible to do it mentally, they at least should do so physically. But on good terms she insisted: shaking hands, a pat on the shoulder maybe even a kiss on the cheek.
But the truth was: there was no future for them together. No future they could enjoy together.
All that came out in a furiously held monologue, without interruption, without many pauses. She wanted him to see it her way, and she was ready to fight, struggle, and kill if necessary: fight his objections, struggle with her own conscience, throw the words into his face and kill all of his hopes.
She was almost finished when she sat back down at his side. She looked and saw tears rolling down his face. And in a whisper she added:
"We are walking a fine line here -- we always were -- between being friends and being enemies. Friendship and hatred have always been the ingredients of our relationship. And neither of us can safely say what it is at certain moments. Hatred, compassion, irritation, embarrassment, insults, it’s all been there. We are lost here. There is no twosome Jarod. There is only a threesome for us: you, me and our past. The truth is: There is no hope in 'us' Jarod."
