Parker using Centre language...the only language Lyle understands to manipulate him.

wonderful!!!! *sigh* I've missed GBNF.... I sure hope uve got more. :-)))))

It took me several chapters to get into the story. It is well written, but for me when too many other characters are introduced you take something away from it being a Pretender or Centre story.

I admit it, I'm Parker fan first off --second -- I honestly don't see either Miss Parker or Jarod ever being happy with anyone else.

I think the episodes have shown that MP may hesitate and sometimes allow her upbringing to get in the way -but she ultimately does the right thing. AND she always pays the price for her hesitantancy or lack of trust in a situation.

You have very definite writing skills, you tell a wonderful story. My only problem (and it is more my problem than yours!)-- is that you introduce Parker too late into the story. I found myself scrolling down looking for more of her.

When you did write her in a few chapters ago, you did a good job with her interaction with the clone. I do believe she would without a thought, sacrifice herself to save Jarod. But then, that's me.

I do want to see how you continue this.

Author's Response:

Hey!

Thanks for the comments. I always like to discuss with people how they view the characters. I personally do agree with you about MP - that when it comes down to it in a 1:1 she will do the right thing.

But I also believe that her character took a bit of a turn after IOTH. I think she'll do the right thing, but i also feel that she believes that when it comes to certain situations, she is powerless. My primary goal after telling an interesting tale, is to stay true to the characters, while allowing them to grow within the context of the story. It is always nice to hear how people agree (or disagree) with how I see the characters.  

And you are right about one thing, I did neglect MP at the beginning of the story. I struggled with the Centre characters for the first bit, as I felt i needed to set the Africa stage, and they got kind of lost. I promise that they will be present for the rest of the story :)

As for original characters - i've tried to keep them to a minimum, because i know it is hard to warm up to them! The only one i've put much effort into is Lys, and i have to admit i've grown a bit attached to her. I hope that you can to by the end of this story - i keep MP in mind when writing a lot of her lines.

But thanks for the comprehensive review! I really appreciated it :)

Awesome new chapter

Oh creepy little old man, what are you up to? Wonder how many steps down the hallway they'll get before they're apprehended.

Good luck with your thesis!

Great Chapter, Katie.  Love how Lys is now the strong one and Jarod is the one needed help.  My favorite line is when Lys tells the guard to get "nice and intimate with the floor.".  It show the power she was commanding at that moment, without making her a b*^%h or an ice queen.  So the important question is how much is the thesis gonna interfer with the next chapter?

Author's Response: I'm glad you have your priorities straight re: my thesis versus the next chapter ;). But thanks for the feedback, I'm glad that you enjoyed and still could remember the plot line.