Great piece off, oops I mean 'of,' writing. lol Another wonderful chapter. Can't wait to see what happens next. You and your beta (for life) have really clicked! Nice to see this other side of Parker as well as a "behind the curtain" view of the Triumvirate. Fantastic!Reviewer: Topanga Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 18/12/07 08:19 pm
I like your story. Very good. The ending is nice.
Her gun confuses me. Did you write that they gave her a revolver or a semiautomatic pistol? A revolver has six bullet. By my count, she only fired twice. I hope you got Lyle confused on the count.
A semi-automatic pistol like the one we saw on the show can carry over 20 bullets depending on the size of the magazine.
If she has a revolver, give her some speed loaders which reloads a revolver faster than by hand.
If it's her famous Smith and Wesson 9mm, give her some extra magazines so she can get herself and her new found friend out of the house.
That's my technical nitpicking. Tom Clancy's muse took over me while reading this chapter.Reviewer: starclipper01 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 17/12/07 04:06 pm
Like how Jarod is semi-confused as to whether or not his memories are real. Makes ofr an interesting twist
We're gonna find out more about what Parker was told in the Tower meating, right?
Hm...Parker breaking the Centre, sounds good to me
*sits and waits for next chapter*Reviewer: Manoline Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/12/07 06:23 pm
What I think . . . Hmmm . . . How about WOW! This is one of your best chapters thus far, and the best writing I've read in some time. I was (still am) on the edge of my seat for the entire thing. Can't wait to see where this is going. Beautiful writing, as usual. More soon? Pretty please with sugar on top?Reviewer: MP Signed [Report This]
Date: 23/11/07 09:48 am
By the way, that review should have been for chpt 14. (oops) *blush*Reviewer: Twingirl10 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/11/07 12:54 pm
Yay for the new chap!
You've outdone yourself this time. I can't wait to see where the story goes! It's nice to have Sydney back in action, even if it does mean things are about to get bad for Jarod. I can't wait to see what Parker's going to do about all this.
You'll notice I've said "can't wait" twice in one review. There is a subliminal message in this somewhere;) Anyway, thanx for another great chapter!Reviewer: MP Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/11/07 12:52 pm
"Yay!" was my first response when I saw that there was a new chapter! And "Uh oh" is my response now after reading. This is getting so good. Lyle is awful...we all know it, but I just had to say it! Great chapter! Keep 'em coming! :o)Reviewer: Twingirl10 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/11/07 12:51 pm
Good move at the end!!
I'm eager to know what happened and if it's Jarod who's right or if it's The Centre version!!Reviewer: Julia Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/11/07 12:49 pm
I just read this whole story all the way through and it's really great. The whole time switching thing makes it so interesting (a thought we both seemed to have when writing our stories!). Keep it up and I'll be waiting eagerly for your next chapter!Reviewer: TLM Signed [Report This]
Date: 26/09/07 05:34 pm
I didn't forget your story, not at all ;p
It's really breathtaking, so well wirtten as always, thank you for writing this!!
I'm waiting for the sequel as always ^^Reviewer: Julia Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 26/09/07 03:15 pm
OMG!!! Wow, wow, wow!! I am certain that my heart rate went waaay above normal while reading this chapter. I was actually talking to myself--screaming outloud no less--when Jarod came outside from the store and saw the black van: "oh no, oh no!" This is a really good chapter. I can't imagine how I am gonna wait to see what happens next! I love it!
Twingirl10Reviewer: Twingirl10 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 24/09/07 06:35 pm
*sitting on the edge of her seat slowly scooting further out* ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!
I must say you are tying this up unexpectedly well. All the pieces fits, and suddenly we're right back where we started, only with so much more information.
And the mini-phone call, so sweet.
I'll be looking forward to seeing what happens next.Reviewer: Manoline Signed [Report This]
Date: 24/09/07 02:41 pm
Just on a general note, it's so cool how you start every chappie with a famous scene from The Pretender that fits with the chapter. And you tell them so well too.
I must say, I really like your Lyle (watch out 'Nothing Means Something' :P ) how you manage to tell him so grotesquely genuine.
Yet another great chapter
Date: 06/09/07 10:22 am
this story is great! i love the flow of it.
i especially liked the tenderness between Miss P. and Jarod in this chapter. great writing.
can't wait for more :o)
peace!Reviewer: Jazzy Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 01/09/07 01:50 am
So glad that you're back with more!! I really liked the chapter. I am curious to find out who this woman is that Lyle is chatting with (did you reveal that already and I missed it?) I don't think so, but just checkin'. Anyway, great story, so excited for more!Reviewer: Twingirl10 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 31/08/07 08:41 pm