I’d like to begin by pointing out that this is all Sydney’s dumb idea.  As if I don’t have enough to do with lessons, experiments and simulations, now he wants me to keep a journal.  A journal!  It took him a while just to explain what a journal was.  Having seen the word in his office, I was thinking of something along the lines of The New England Journal of Medicine or The American Journal of Psychiatry; something useful.  Nope.  It turns out, the kind of journal he means is ‘a place to write some of your feelings, experiences, and reflections to make sense of life.’  Oookay.  Do people actually do that?  Or is Sydney pulling me into another sociology study?

At least I can be sure that he won’t be eavesdropping on my ‘feelings, experiences, and reflections.’  I came up with this code after my last military sim.  It can’t be read without the key, and the key is locked in my prodigious little brain.  So there.  This could be fun, actually; it will give me a chance to try out some of the new vocabulary Miss Parker’s been teaching me, especially the words Sydney doesn’t approve of.  I hope to someday understand why Sydney considers the word ‘loser’ inappropriate, while ‘copulation’ is perfectly mundane.

Still, it bothers me that Sydney thinks I need this journal writing activity.  The day after he assigned it—before he’d really explained it—I snuck into his office looking for inspiration.  I read an article out of The American Journal of Psychiatry.  It was all about the effects of introspection on traumatized children.  It suggested “diary or journal keeping for those too damaged to function consistently.”  Wait a minute, children?!!  I’m not a child, I’m twelve years old!  And besides, I’m not damaged or traumatized.  Honestly, it’s been months since I’ve refused to eat or speak, and that identity crisis in January was really overblown!

That’s psychiatrists for you; you go nonverbal once or twice, have a little incident with amnesia, maybe a bit of unprovoked violence directed against toothpicks, and they think the sky is falling!  I shudder to think what Sydney would do if I ever had a real problem.

Oh well, this is an hour out of my day in which I won’t be running treadmills, memorizing files, or working through calculus problems.  I might as well try it.