She put down her lipstick to shoot an angry glare in the direction of her curtains, which was closely followed by a deep hissing sound to fully underline her rage.

One of her neighbors had gone a little Christmas crazy and covered his house in, what she guessed would be, the makings of a very expensive electricity bill. All her drapes were closed but the blinking of too many colored light bulbs still pierced trough making her very tempted to get out a sett of pliers to end the “joy” ones and for all. It was Christmas Eve, and it had been years since “daddy” Parker had made his exit in a parachute.

The phone started ringing and she reluctantly moved towards it instead of her tool box. She placed the phone between her ear and shoulder as she continued to apply makeup she didn't really need.

“What?”

He chuckled a bit, some things never change.

“You know, for an intelligent woman you use a very limited vocabulary”

She stopped what she was doing to let the memories flood her head

“Jarod...”

She could barely believe it was him. The clue leaving had slowly faded, until it stopped completely around three and a half years ago. He stopped calling soon after. Every ones in a while she would read an article about a mysterious stranger saving the day, but other than that and the occasional may-have-might-have-been-him-but-he-left-five-weeks-ago-conversation with some hillbilly, she hadn't heard anything in three years. That's a long time, she thought as she formulated a proper response “Well, you're not exactly Hemingway either”

“Touchê”

Although he couldn't see her he knew she was smiling, and she was.

It was such a long time since they had talked they were both scared to say the wrong thing, so for a while they said nothing.

Soon it had been quiet for too long. He knew that if he didn't say something soon, she was left with two options, hanging up or asking why he called. And he didn't know why he called, tonight he didn't want to figure it out either. He just wanted to keep talking about nothing and everything like the two old friends he wished they were.

5,

4,

3,

He needed to say something soon or else...

“So, how you been?” She asked. She had to say something to keep him from hanging up, and she didn't want to ask him why he called. If she did the spell would be broken and she would have to remember how things are, and tonight that was the last thing she wanted.

“I've been...” he cleared his throat and hoped it would work on his mind to “well, you know.”

And she did.

He took a deep breath and changed the subject “And what are you up to this glorious evening?” He said it with such empathize on 'glorious' she knew he was being sarcastic.

“Nothing much, I have a reservation at a restaurant so... And you?” She was thrown back a little by the casualness of her own response, it was all so...normal.

Three years is a long time.

“I guess I'll grab something to eat. But it'll probably be a little less healthy than whatever you're eating.”

She laughed and he knew how much he'd missed it.

He never intended on leaving clues indefinitely, at first it was just a way to stay in touch with Sydney and of course he took some pleasure in the taunting as well. But he quickly decided that it was a good way too keep them occupied, giving them less time to find him on their own. That way he knew when they were closing in, and when they weren't.
So he could stay a long time in one place, sometimes a whole month. After a while he got so good at anticipating their next move there was no longer need for clues, he was a pretender after all.
But he kept sending them in hopes that his family was using them to find him, like Kyle had. But nothing happened.
And after a while he was just so sick of it all he decided it was better to never stay longer than a week in one place, instead of having to run from sweepers every time he stayed a minute more than he should. Of course they caught up with him every ones in a while, it was inevitable if he wanted to do anything other than sitting in a basement all day long. And that was sort of the reason he escaped...among others things.

“Let me guess. As a starter: Instant mac and cheese. Main course: a burger with fries, followed closely by pez, twinkies and twelve frosted doughnuts, and...a coke?”

“Hey, diet coke” He said in mock seriousness.

There it was again, that wonderful laugh.

“You don't celebrate Christmas?”

“No, it's more of a family holiday.”

So he still hadn't found his family. “Nothing says fun with ma' and pa' like a fat guy in a red bathrobe.”

“Yeah, speaking of which. I've been out for ten years now but I still don't get the whole Santa Clause-thing.” ten years, he thought, has it been that long?

“I don't think anyone does, it's just one of those things.” She smiled a little, he was still trying to find a meaning behind everything. Some things never change.

“I guess...”

The silence threatened to form again and he decided it was easiest to just give in. “Well, you have a reservation so...”

“Yeah, reservations...” She slowly shook herself to consciousness, she had been so taken back by the fact that he called, she hadn't even noticed that during their conversation her neighbor had added a soundtrack to his blinking nightmare. Jingle bells was blasting across the neighborhood, perfectly in sync with the annoying lights.

“So guess I should go...”

“Jarod?” She wanted to keep talking, but she had no idea what to say.

“Yeah?”

“Merry Christmas”

**

Maybe that's why I called, he thought as he placed his cell in his pocket and took out the pez next to it.

**

She stood for a moment with the phone in her hand, remembering happy memories of a lost childhood.

“Jingle bells, jingle bells! Jingle all the way!”

“Now where did I put those pliers?”

She deeply regretted the choice of high stilettos as footwear while she worked her way through her neighbor's snow-covered lawn. She could swear the volume got louder each time she took a step, as if whomever was renting the Johnsons' summer home was deliberately trying to annoy her. If that was the case, they were they were doing a very good job.

The Johnsons were an older couple, who sat on the porch constantly in matching blue velor tracksuits, drinking coffee and eating whatever baked goods Mrs. Johnson had whipped up that day.

From summer to late fall they would be sitting there, rain or shine. Because “they had paid good money for this place and they were darn well gonna enjoy it” as Mr Johnson would say to anytime a well meaning neighbor would ask if sitting outside in a thunderstorm was a good idea.

Every ones in a while Mrs. Johnson would wave her over. At first Miss Parker tried to ignore them, but seeing as Mrs Johnson was every bit as stubborn as her, that didn't do much good. She would wave, yell, squawk, pretty much do anything to get Parkers' attention. For once, Miss Parker was the one who gave in, when she chose the way of least embarrassment by enduring the old lady's tireing stories.

First Mr. Johnson would ask if she had a “special fellow”. Miss Parker would answer “no”, regardless of what was true at the time. This would remind Mrs. Johnson terribly of how she and Mr. Johnson met, only problem is that happened every time Parker was dragged over to the Johnson residence.

So Parker knew by heart what would happen from here.

In the middle of her story, Mrs Johnson would be deep i concentration, trying to remember the last name of “some floozy named Tilda”, Mr. Jonson's ex-girlfriend. Mr. Johnson would take advantage of her distraction and use it to get rid of whatever awful cake Mrs Johnson had baked that day in the potted plant right next to him. Or at least there used to be a plant in that pot.

“Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh!”

Miss Parker could feel the relief wash over her, the song had finally ended. Now she just needed to get rid of those lights and everything would be...

“Jingle bells, jingle bells...”

She swore, someday she was going to plant a 9mm in that stereo system.

After threading trough the knee-high snow for what seemed like forever, she finally stood face to face with her enemy.

“This is even worse than I thought,” she muttered and stopped in front of the house, trying her best to fully comprehend the extent of the ugliness.

It was like whomever lived here had raided a shopping mall for anything plastic that either blinked, moved, or both. Colored light bulbs covered the entire house and most of the lawn forming annoying patterns. Three large trees and several small bushes had also been covered in the blinking, colored light bulbs. Next to the threes there was an orange “reindeer” bopping it' head up and down while looking suspiciously inbred.

An oversize yellow, glitter covered, blinking, star had been attached to the top of the flagpole which was surrounded by a manikin version of a manger. Josef wore an old terrycloth bathrobe and had been given a broomstick as a cane. Marie, who looked very man-ish with the painted on three day stubble on her chin, was dressed in superman bedsheets. And baby Jesus was a sack of potatoes with a magic marker smiley face on.

Lawn sized candy canes looked like a bordercontrol between the house and the stunned neighborhood.

Eleven Santas was randomly spread across the small lawn. There was a big one with a bell, which for some reason kept bowing.

One was standing in the middle of the walkway, completely still but with a “ho, ho” tape being played over and over again, reminding her a little too much of Igor, the hunchbacked gnome Jarod sent her a few years back.

As if her life wasn't stressful enough, this invaded her Christmas break! There was no way she was going to let some nitwit with too many extension cords ruin her vacation. She sent Santa-Igor flying with the help of her Manolo Blahnik and marched towards the front porch. She stopped at the door and took a deep breath, not sure if it was to calm herself down or prepare for an explosion.

The doorbell was gone, so she knocked until she could hear footsteps slouching towards the door. Whoever was in there seemed to be struggling with the locks, but when he finally managed to force the door open, Miss Parker was met with the cheesiest smile she'd seen in a long time, matching perfectly his half buttoned up gold-colored shirt. The scariest thing was that this was obviously one of the man's nicer outfits.

“Hi,” he said, filled with Christmas spirit, that only increased her rage. ”I'm guessing you're one of the neighbors, nice to meet you.” The grin expanded as the man ran his fingers trough his hair while eying her up and down, obviously enjoying the view.

He held out his hand, covered in hair mouse and whatever other substances he used to make his hair shiny and sticky. “Hi, I'm...”

“Why should I care?” Before he had a time to find a reason, she began to file her complaint; “These are your Christmas...” she was interrupted when something started blinking in the corner of her eye. She tuned her head and saw a twelfth Santa. She shook her head as a shiver went down her spine and turned back to face the man, ”...decorations?”

“Yeah. Neat isn't it? I got a good package deal, you see a friend of mine works at Walmart and...”

“How shocking.”

“Hm?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“Well, anyways...they had all these left over decorations that no one bought before the holidays, so he got them for practically nothing. Can you believe no one would want this?”

“Yes,” she said and studied her surroundings, muttering something about him being the luckiest guy alive. Her Smith&Wesson was safely locked away in a case in her bedroom so she couldn't blow his brains out just yet.

“These...” she waved her finger vigorously around, ”Blinky-things. Stop them. Now”

“What?” He said, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. “Ma'am, i--it's just Christmas decorations.”

“Get them out or I'll get you out” something started barking inside, “and your little dog too.”

“But...ma'am?” Now it was more like a deer under the car.

“And don't call me 'ma'am', ok?” She slammed the door in his face even though she was the one standing outside. Santa-Igor was still “ho”-ing so she gave him another kick and walked dangerously fast over the icy walkway.

**

“Nice, long, bath” she muttered and opened the door to her house, trying to remember if she was out of scotch.

The phone was ringing.

“What!?” She yelled into the receiver.

“Dinner didn't go so well?”

“Jarod, twice in one night? Aren't we eager.” she said and started rummaging around in the cabinet looking for alcohol.

“What can I say? Christmas just isn't the same without you, Miss Parker.” She could practically hear the boyish grin forming on his face.

“hmf” her hand connected with the familiar shape of the bottle and she went to get a glass.

“Dashing trough the snow, in a one horse open sleigh”

“Oh shut up!” she yelled in the direction of her window, it didn't seem to do much good though.

“What? I didn't say anything.” Jarod said confused in her right ear. He hadn't even mentioned the Centre, how could she be mad?

“Not you. It's my pinballhead of a neighbor. He's insisting on playing this brain-numbing hogwash of a song. Again, and again, and again. His house is completely covered in blinking lights. I mean completely covered! His friend works at Walmart so he robbed the place or something, I don't know I wasn't listening. The point is, it's everywhere! It's like being surrounded by...well, Christmas lights! blinking Christmas lights. I sweare I'm going to kill somebody! Slow. Painful. Death.”

She could hear Jarod trying to stifle a laugh at the other end, not really succeeding.

“What's so funny?” she said in a tone strongly indicating the answer should be 'nothing'.

“Oh, come on! You have to see the irony in this. You are talking to me about this guy who's getting on your nerves.”

“At Christmas you're even more than a kid than the rest of the year, I need to do something to curb your enthusiasm” she said, not wanting to admit how much the thought of Jarod in a Christmasy mood reminded her of the simplicity of being a kid.

No, not simple, life is never simple, she thought and let the burning sensation of well aged scotch pull her back to adulthood.

“Yes, I can barely control myself” he replied dryly and snapped her out of her depressive train of thought

“My, my, my, so the labrat discovered sarcasm. Welcome to my world.”

“Well, there is a distinct sense of freedom in saying something, meaning something else and not end up in an interrogation room with Rains and some doctor named Willow, because a sweeper got the wrong idea and thinks you've got the hot's for him.”

“What?!”

“Another story, for another time, I really got to go now”

“Jarod?”

“Bye, Miss Parker” How he loved to torment her

“No, come on! Don't hang up....Jarod?”

- click -

**

When she woke up she wished the scotch bottle had been empty.

She weighed her options and decided to just stay in bed until she had to go to work, in three days.

The noise had kept her up until two, three am. and seeing as she hadn't gotten all that much sleep the previous days thanks to the lights, she really wasn't in a good mood, and now she had a hangover too, she saw it as a favor to human kind.

After lying there for a while she noticed something; No “jingle bells”.

She got up slowly and looked out the window, all the decorations were gone!

“Hallelujah!” she screamed...then wished she hadn't.

She threw on her bathrobe and wobbled downstairs as fast as her head would allow, to get a closer look at the glorious sight.

As she opened the front door her feet meet something heavy.

She looked down and saw a big red box with a card attached.

To Miss Parker, From Jarod

Merry Christmas

She pulled of the lid and found Santa-Igor, slightly squashed, and a strand of blinking lights.

She could hear her neighbor yelling at a police officer.

“I'm telling you, someone stole my lights! My beautiful lights! No, I didn't see anyone! Or hear anyone... But that doesn't mean there wasn't anyone here! ”

“Yes, it's definitely a merry Christmas” she said with a smirk and went back inside in search of some morning coffee...and an aspirin.