I love Miss P's punch in the face entrance into this second chapter. She's on fire. You mention the changes in Carthis and win bonus plausibility points. I like to escape reality too and read but unless it's clearly alternate universe material I want things to be plausible within what we already know from the television series. I love the technical parts, the upgrades the Centre always needed. They have geniuses working for them and should have always been that technologically advanced. Have I mentioned your brilliance recently?
Reviewer: James Signed [Report This]Date: 21/04/20 09:58 pm
Settling in for a nice long read. The first chapter grabs me and pulls me in. I'm captivated by each turn of the phrase. I love how it feels like a detective crime thriller and this is the before the scenes of where Jarod and MP come in to play. You're brilliant. I already like Brandt and feel so much for young McGraff who I can see clearly a young boy in man's body. You illustrate with words.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the kind words, James.
Reviewer: James Signed [Report This]Date: 21/04/20 09:53 pm
Jarod's all like yes i"m going to do this with the scalepl all ready to go. I'm so freaked out about this. Thanks for the warning too.
Please update.
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 30/10/19 01:01 am
Awww. There are soo good together if she's with Jarod. Is she? I need to know. That HAS to be Jarod with her. He's so nice and tender and sweet just like Michael. OMG. Please!
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 30/10/19 12:22 am
lol. "No. Are you crazy?" GOLD. Miss Parker Classic Gold.
Please don't me that Parker had sex with Jarod's evil clone. oh gods. ugh.
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 30/10/19 12:01 am
YES!
You are the best smut writer, sex writer, romance writer, action writer, drama writer. I can't EVEN think after that. My favorite part was Jarod's thoughts about Parker's ""litle death."'" Just so wow. Mind=blown. Boom!
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]
Date: 29/10/19 11:47 pm
Date: 29/10/19 11:20 pm
lol your notes again hilarious. "rope placement screams Jarod in every language." You're not wrong Mirage. I thought that too. Jarod tightened the rope right over her breast. OUCH. I wanted to know what happened during commerical break and now I know. Thank you for that.
Clement's story was so touching. I love that you give other Centre victims a voice too here and imply there are many more with stories too. Lots of exploration could have continued. You're a genius to think of it. I wish you were writing the pretender novels. I really do and It's a shame you aren't.
Date: 29/10/19 11:14 pm
Date: 29/10/19 11:06 pm
"Life goes on" Oh yeah life goes on... long after the trill of living is gone. That's a Mellencamp tune for the 80's anyway. It's also a Beatles tune.
I so totatlly agree with Jarod about how people laugh and carry on crazily when someone dies. That's not grief. Oh, so curious about what happens next. Glad I don't have to wait... teheheee
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 29/10/19 11:01 pm
OMG I love Broots reaction to Parker helping Jarod. Finally she admits it.
"Relax? Sydney," he hissed, "I falsified documentation and surveillance."
Parker lowered her wine glass abruptly and said in a tight, low whisper, "That's the last time you say those words aloud."
"Jarod and his family are grieving, Broots," explained Sydney softly.
"Yeah, and it's one thing for you and Miss Parker to pick up the tab for his mother's funeral arrangements but another thing altogether to lie to Cox's face or-or to create lairs, jobs, and newspaper articles. Orchestrating a diversion of this magnitude is- it's not feasible. And you're exhausted, Miss Parker. Admit it."
"We're buying him some time," Parker said succinctly.
"It's been three months," exclaimed Broots. "Between this and trying to track down the psycho serial killer Jarod clone—because hey, you know, one clone wasn't enough for the Centre—I'm losing it."
Etta and Merle. Noice. Nice nice. I love their music. I love that the police and feds have cool ringtones. I'm addicted to your writing Mirage.
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 29/10/19 10:52 pm
OOoh. That ending. She knows Jarod will never leave her alone.
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 29/10/19 10:29 pm
Ooh aww. Poor Jarod. I love the way he just knew. Gotta love Parker's frustration at the women who described Jarod in detail. lol. So realistic and plausible. Characters are like they were on the tv series. Ahhh I just love this.
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 29/10/19 10:07 pm
Ooh aww. Poor Jarod. I love the way he just knew. Gotta love Parker's frustration at the women who described Jarod in detail. lol. So realistic and plausible. Characters are like they were on the tv series. Ahhh I just love this.
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 29/10/19 10:05 pm
Oooh ho. You didn't watch Profiler then... oh wow. You're just that good from seeing Rachel the one time on the Pretender. Damn. Wow.
The ending. OMG!
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 29/10/19 09:51 pm
LOL "desaturated Thomas" you are a hoot, mdear.
I love Parker's confusion and how she propositions Jarod for sex. Didn't expect him to walk away from that though.
Jarod in a dress. I love that more than I should.
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 29/10/19 09:44 pm
Oh no. No, poor Jarod. Godz! Mirage how do you do this?
"The cupboards were devoid of food. Wheeling to his left, he grasped the refrigerator door, and sagged against it briefly when the floor felt as if it were being tugged out from under him. Jarod mustered the strength, at last, to pull open the door.
He was disheartened by his findings: six unsuspecting grapefruit—stoic and flushed pink—occupied the middle shelf; a half-filled bottle of wine shared the top shelf with a single box of gunpowder tea.
In the attached freezer, an unopened bottle of Stoli lay, in chilled repose, on its side.
Just when did alcohol become a food group?
It was positively unfathomable.
No food? Even the Centre had food; crappy food, but food, nonetheless."
Amazing.
But that ending... I hope Jarod will be ok.
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 29/10/19 09:20 pm
Uhh wow!! WOW! DID NOT see that coming Mirage.
"He hated feeling vulnerable, relying on anyone, let alone her. And he detested the weapon in his hand almost as much as he detested Parker in that moment—that, however, did not prevent him from employing the weapon, fondling it obscenely in an attempt to gain her cooperation.
Hypocrisy. The new black."
Every word. Every word is brilliant.
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 29/10/19 09:13 pm
OMG that is so like Rachel. She can be completely crazy and break down. Oooh I hope Jarod will be ok.
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 29/10/19 09:01 pm
Broots concern for Miss Parker is always so sweet. I like you how drop us right back to the Centre business part of the story. You transition well between scenes... so smooth I don't even notice.
"I would have thought, Miss Parker," rasped Raines (in a voice, Parker mused, that could grate Pecorino Romano), "that given the absence of alternatives—namely yours—you would be more appreciative of your brother's progress." Both Raines and Lyle (as well as the Director) had illustrated an unwillingness to countenance any alternatives, particularly hers. She was suspicious of the prevailing specious illusion of solidarity, impartiality, and inclusion (into the boy's club), was wary of the false Centre tenets. Their "way" was sacrosanct. She was an outsider.
"I've reviewed his plan," Raines continued in a laudatory tone, meeting Lyle's gaze, "and it's brilliant."
"Oh, yes," sang Parker bitterly, "it's a screaming success if the goal was multiple causalities," she said reproachfully. "Snitch to the Triumvirate, Sis, and it will be the last unilateral move you ever make."
This is my favorite part though of this chapter...
"It's odd, truly it is: you talk about people, and they show up— as if they were summoned"
Is that why you always say Jarod's player when somone mentions Michael and never call him Michael T. Weiss? Makes sense.
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 29/10/19 08:44 pm
"The cries didn't make it out of her mind." OMG! Lots of cop talk in this and jargon. I love how noir it is but not overdone. I love Rachel's reaction to this having slept with him and never really having known who he is or what he is. lol. She totally fell for him on the show and being a fan of Profiler I was kind of dissapointed in her. I love all of this.
"Jarod Holliday (no relation to Wyatt Earp's old pal, Doc) had simply strolled out the front door of the station, in no particular hurry, the portrait of equanimity.
He had walked outside and simply vanished.
He could have driven up in a clown car (double-stuffed with clowns), or been dropped out of the sky by Dorothy (on her way back to Kansas), or deposited neatly by a UFO.
Hell, maybe he'd breezed up on an unicycle, or arrived via stilts, or had skitched up to the station door.
No one knew what his mode of transportation was. No one knew where he was or where he'd come from and had no clue as to where he might going next. Moreover, no one knew who Jarod was.
(Not even Jarod.)"
"Brandt turned suddenly to confront the thud behind him, met Rachel's forlorn gaze as she lunged ungainly on liquid legs and slumped against the reception desk."
"Incoherency and in-coordination had morphed into rage."
You're a superstar Mirage!
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]
Date: 29/10/19 08:38 pm
I like how in one scene Jarod has a VCR and it's all outdated tech but in this Parker would rather have the outdated tech. Brilliant. I love her reaction to what she saw too.
Reviewer: d_el1 Signed [Report This]Date: 29/10/19 08:22 pm
I love the interplay between Brandt and Jarod. The bet, hand rolling dice gesture. Amazing. The detail you instill in this and the plausibility. I'm eternally in awe.
"and he couldn't quite determine when the shift had occurred, and the universe had faltered.".... The way you write. What you write. How you write. I didn't mean to let this story escape my attention for so long but I do love me a nice evening binge-read session.
Date: 29/10/19 08:17 pm
I love the interplay between Brandt and Jarod. The bet, hand rolling dice gesture. Amazing. The detail you instill in this and the plausibility. I'm eternally in awe.
"and he couldn't quite determine when the shift had occurred, and the universe had faltered.".... The way you write. What you write. How you write. I didn't mean to let this story escape my attention for so long but I do love me a nice evening binge-read session.
Date: 29/10/19 08:15 pm
I love the interplay between Brandt and Jarod. The bet, hand rolling dice gesture. Amazing. The detail you instill in this and the plausibility. I'm eternally in awe.
"and he couldn't quite determine when the shift had occurred, and the universe had faltered.".... The way you write. What you write. How you write. I didn't mean to let this story escape my attention for so long but I do love me a nice evening binge-read session.
Date: 29/10/19 08:11 pm