OMG! So amazing Mirage. I love your writing. The way you bring them in gahhhh I'm envious. She puts her hands on the table kind of aggravated and Jarod just covers her hands... so simple and so beautiful. I need more. I got some questions about The Pretender in general if you can asnwer them.. like why did Jarod run if he was a genius and could have exposed the Centre? I already emailed you but no response yet. Please. Or check your email..
Date: 24/06/19 07:18 pm
Please say it's not all there is to this. I could go on reading this for hundreds of chapters. I want more and more. It's nice to see Jarod a little behind the curve and not sure of himself. It's more realistic and fitting with what's happened. more please if I have the right to ask?
Ah- well, there won't be hundreds of chapters. There will at least be one more. Thank you for reading and your lovely reviews.Reviewer: Chloe Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/06/19 12:11 am
Jarod is like a jack hammer that won't stop hammering away at Miss Parker. He was like that on the show. Insistent and passionate. You didn't change him. I can almost sympathetize with how exposed she must feel around him and how he doesn't quit until he gets at the true heart of the matter. Him issuing the challenge "you can't kill the little girl unless you kill me" and her response that it isn't fair. I saw someone say your writing is emotional and I didn't know what that meant until I got all the way to this chapter and all your words crushed me. The characters are emotional so writing about them must be emotional. I feel sparks of this or that and fury when Miss Parker is talking about videos those traffickers made her watch. There was anticipation when Miss Parker felt Jarod nearby and some laughter when she called him an asshat. When the writing is well done it is emotional. I can feel Jarod's confusion about everything too not knowing why he feels or what she has done to him but really Jarod has done all of this to himself and Miss Parker invites him to do more. I hope this isn't the end yet. If it is thank you for sharing your gifts with us. I have thoroughly loved this story and won't forget it. It meas so much that the series is still living here in this corner of the internet. Thank you.
A jack hammer. It's going to be difficult to unsee that one. Thank you for all the truly generous reviews. It's not the end yet (wishful thinking). I really love when it's all over. Thank you for reading and reviewing.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 02:46 am
Kirkland took a weird cocktail of drugs and alcohol. He's stressed and seems genuinely concerned. You assure us he's the good guy in this and I thank you for that. The Italian island is beautiful. Your descriptive work is spot on. I can tell you're a traveler. Justice is hard to find. The world is darker than ever now. I like how Jarod wanted to let the death go and then couldn't. I like that Jarod took care of her, that Parker chose to go to him. The writing continues to be consistently brilliant.
Kirkland is one of the good guys. No, I actually haven't traveled extensively and haven't traveled at all in quite some time. I love earthlings, their cultures, languages, beautiful places, new experiences (who doesn't?) but I sorta feel guilty if I can't reach the desired destination on foot or by bike. And it sucks so hard that all of the places I most want to see can only be reached by plane. The world isn't all that dark; certain people in the world, however--
Thanks for reading and reviewing.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 02:34 am
Miss Parker tries to lighten the mood. Jarod doesn't seem convinced. I don't blame him. The realization that comes for Jarod when he discovers what we've all known since season one when she shot the envelope instead of him. He WOULD be rotting in a Triumvirate prison if she'd ever really wanted to capture him. It was immersing the way you took us into that trunk with Miss Parker. We get insight into Jarod's simulations. Stunning work Mirage. The end scene brought a new tear to my eye. No one can stop her. Not even Jarod. I'm glad he laid his soul out to her.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 02:30 am
Nothing could be gut wrenching that reading Miss Parker is dead. You had me worried but you redeemed yourself quickly. Jarod didn't give up. You took us on an international journey and gave us a snapshot of the culture. I have cardomom on the grocery list. I'll be treating my wife to a recipe I found after reading this earlier. I wasn't as offput by the intimacy as I thought I'd be. They had respectable, tasteful relations. I think it was time.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 02:27 am
Welding and you know about forensic sciences. I do too. I work with law enforcement. You get an A. You tied the evidence to the suspects and crime scenes and the stash and back to the victim with a substance that Jarod thought was blood. It explains why Magdelena/Misha was chainsmoking a variety of cigarette brands and that had seen so innocent and harmless aside from cancer and emphysema. I like how you tie St. Anthony and Catherine's religion into this and with Jarod as being lost or trying to find his missing family. You know the show well and are fond of it. I feel the same. You're doing right by the series.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 02:22 am
The chapter notes tehehee. A lot of minds go there in this fandom. It's so funny. Ok a woman that knows about welding, the uses, the products involved, the dangers. I think I'm in love. I can confirm a smoldering lawn as a consequence of arc cutting. My wife can too. You threw in another twist. Jarod assuring someone he will save someone and then narrating that contrarily Jarod's not doing anything because Jarod is dying. I would pay to read this. I think you need to know how good you are. I've read some of your review responses and chapter notes and you don't seem to get that you are a brilliant author. You are brilliant.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 02:17 am
She was never "lost to him only concealed." I never was on the ship. I liked the show for what it was and didn't think they'd end up together until that kiss that was interrupted by Ocee. I do like the history they share and you seem to pay homage to that repeatedly and I appreciate that so deeply. The way you put his memory back together, the way Little Miss Parker put those pieces back together for him was plausible and not some leap of logic pulled out of the air. There is plausibility is every line. I like that Jarod goes back even though he doesn't know why.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 02:11 am
Your notes. So funny. Little Miss Parker torments so well. I like how the child scolds him for considering violence towards Rachel. Jarod arguing with his delusion is the most Jarod thing ever, calling her Nancy Drew. She returns his jabs calling him Einstein. I was happy to see Jarod take an iniative and handcuff Rachel to the bed so he could leave. Even though I know how this goes it's still able to cause me anxiety that Miss Parker is out there. That's because you write and you write possibly too well if that's possible.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 02:07 am
The moment it began clear that Jarod was dreaming and something had gone very wrong was bracing. You pulled one over that I wasn't expecting. You deviated from the flow and it is genius. I expect directors and film writers to change things up but you allowed me the reader to get comfortable and I was lulled right in. You fleshed Little Miss Parker out brilliantly and gave her the innocent outspoken snark we saw on the show. I've never seen it done so well as you do it. You wrote Jarod's disorientation stirkingly well too. I'm impressed as hell. Those are four words I don't say often.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 02:03 am
Jarod getting down to the philosophy of salad on Miss Parker's behalf. Her words to the waitress tehehee. Crude but I can hear Miss Parker say that. They grow closer here, go back to the beginning again in a way and her calling him a drama queen is spot on. Miss Parker is imparting some wisdom based on experience am I right? The choice to leave the Centre or work with Jarod was never obvious so she awards that same understanding and mercy to others. Your ability to develop the characters into something that looks more functional is amazing.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 01:58 am
You injected some humor again with the DJ losing the plot, wanting to play music he likes and not the easy listening tehehee. Even kids your age recognize a good song in Cat Stevens' how can I tell you. Right? This song would work for a Pretender vid too. Jarod. Always hungry. Screaming microwaves. Tehehee.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 01:55 am
The talk of possible conspiracy is always exciting. Immediately I like Kirkland. I like his saving Miss Parker from the office coffee. I like that he worries because he recognizes something in her, probably the hero in her after that fight with the abusive mother. He knows it pose problems. He's right in hindsight. You don't stray from the original series and the characters we know and love and what makes them them and the proof is in this chapter too and this conversation::
"It wasn't your decision to make Jarod."
"You're right.. it was your mother's."
I think Miss Parker reacted appropriately to Jarod's love declaration.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 01:51 am
Have you ever made a grown man cry? Yes, Mirage, you have. You went deep here. So deep. Describing the properties and then describing Pierce Livingston, his clothes too large for him because he's lost weight and Joana Livingston. She's abused her husband and is losing her mind. The entire chapter is heart shattering. When I thought I was done crying I cried some more. And that final kick in the chest the closing scene. Jarod was glad Miss Parker hadn't heard him lie. How do you write like this? How do you go this deep? Do you ever resurface? It's so tragic. I know that some families live this tragedy. I never thought about telling their stories, the agony of it all. There are no more words.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 01:46 am
I read this in its entirely before reviewing and now skimming over this chapter again I'm going "ooohhhh." The flashdrive. Parker's absorption in the storm drain gutter. You had all the outlines in place and just needed to add color and shadowing... the art metaphor again if you don't mind. Brilliant. This is some elevated fiction writing.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 01:40 am
There is no brightside. That's the most Miss Parker thing ever.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 01:35 am
I have to say it. I didn't foresee this twist Mirage. But it works. Jarod's brother and Miss Parker are uniquely and similarly broken.
Well written. Please tell me you aren't a young kid. Those songs are so youthful. You write intimate scenes brilliantly. I don't go in for that kind of thing but this is tastefully done.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 12:57 am
Thanks for not having a cat fight. These are mature woman. I'm a man and believe me, we're not worth fighting over and something, Mirage, tells me that you know that already. Miss Parker is in so much pain.. we can tell by the proportion of anger she reveals. Miss Parker likes animals well done. Tehehee. That's our Miss Parker all right. Salty. But we love her.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 12:54 am
Tehehee your mind woke you up with petuary? It's so funny that Jarod was inspired by Miss Parker's threats to up to terrorizing game with the baddie of the week. That's an episode I would like to see.
Unfinished business. I hope you will finish this. You're on a roll.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 12:51 am
You handle Centre politics with ease. So strange to see Jarod in control. It's a good look for him.
Miss Parker redeems herself but doesn't really. We know she's a softy.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 12:48 am
The comedic strokes emphasize the gravity sometimes as well as lend some much needed humor. The process seems like an art. If that's true you are Michelangelo.
Jarod is badly hurt. Miss Parker is confused. That is so far a constant picking up where the series left off. I appreciate your respect for the original series. It is the best.
Jarod and Miss Parker are so Jarod and Miss Parker when you write them. I love the following. So telling in their storyline and history.
"She asked. "What am I missing?" "Missing." Jarod repeated with a hearty chuckle. "Miss Parker," He laughed- laughed at her, the bastard, "you are not missing anything." He explained and then smugly clarified: "You know exactly what I want you to know."
"Nothing." She murmured.
"Very good." He nodded. Bastard. How dare he patronize me!
"Good?" She hissed. "How is that good?"
"Come, now, Miss Parker," Jarod admonished gently, "Nothing was enough for you back when it was all your father ever gave you. Nothing was more than enough, in fact. I've watched you cling to nothing, to absolutely nothing, for years. By now, you should be accustomed to it, accustomed to nothing." He fell silent for several moments, and then added, wistfully: "I suppose we should both be."
"Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 12:45 am
This was so much the cautionary tale of doublecrossing Jarod even if Miss Parker didn't have terrible intentions. You must have been considering this for some long while Mirage. If Jarod had ever wanted to hurt her he needed only to walk in and do so. He can be anything and anyone and this illustrates that and slams an exclamation mark behind it. She thought she was going to die at Raines's hands and learns that Jarod is the one in control. The way you describe how Miss Parker can't remember the question she asked when Jarod answers her is magnificent.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 12:35 am
The hi-tech elements and the explanation of the ruse were all brilliant as was Broots's communication with Jarod. The ending though, again... masterfully executed Mirage.
Jarod's nonsexual physical contact with Miss Parker was unexpectedly erotic.Reviewer: Kyle McLane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/06/19 12:28 am