another excellent chapter. your work is consistently well=written and with each chapter, the characters and the story line gets more complex and fascinating. imho you are one of the best new talents to come along and i can see a lot of the top authors agree.
really looking forward to see what comes next. love your extremely accurate depiction of all the characters. as far as writing goes, you might consider adding some subtle (and i do mean subtle) foreshadowing to provide a little more cohesion. oh and btw, i doubt anyone will grieve too long for zoe; that was a well-done sub-plot w/cox.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much (again) topanga!!
Your reviews (and time) are very much appreciated and I'm so pleased to hear that you're enjoying this- you really know how to make a person feel appreciated! (And provide the motivation to hurry and post the next installment (which I'm doing now) ;P).
Also a huge thanks for the constructive criticism!!! I absolutely agree that my writing can be a little jumpy at times, so I'll try my best to set the scene with a bit of 'foreshadowing' as you suggest.
Thanks so much,
Jess
Reviewer: topanga Anonymous [Report This]Date: 12/07/08 09:17 pm
Good work, nice writing tehcnique. I like the reference to "real life" issues, you worked it in very well.
I too feel Miss Parker is many layered, as Shrek said of ogres "many layers like an onion". If you watch many of the episodes she says one thing, but if you watch her reactions, they say something else. You are following that.
Hopefully, since Parker is the only one allowed in to see him She will wake him up out of his stupor. Also looking forward to her show down with her father. It will be interesting to see how you write that.
Good work, nice plotting and very well written.
Author's Response:
Thanks again nightowl!
I'm so glad to hear you're ok with my take on Miss Parker -the Shrek line was EXACTLY what I was hoping to pull off so to hear you say that is so amazing!! (besides being a line from one of my all time favourite movies!)
And, well the wait is over lol! I'm updating today so I hope you enjoy!
Thank you so much for your time, I really appreciate your feedback and 5 stars really is an honour!
Thanks,
Jess
Reviewer: nightowl Anonymous
[Report This]Date: 08/07/08 02:35 am
wow, great chapter. Loved it. *goes of to read more about Huntington's*
so, what has MP planned, and what photo's had Jarod in actual fact send to her? Poor Jarod.
*impatiently waits for more to this well-thought out story*
Author's Response:
Thanks so much yet again whashaza!
I always love getting your reviews and am quite pleased that I sparked your interest on Huntington's lol!
As for answering your questions, I'm afraid you'll have to wait and see... Though I'm updating today so hopefully I can feed your haste with the next installment!
Thanks as always!!!
Jess
Reviewer: whashaza Signed [Report This]Date: 07/07/08 11:48 am
