That was a good plot.  Keeps close to the series theme and feel. Hope you update soon.

Soooo I stumbled upon this little piece before and at the serious risk of repeating myself, you got talent girl!! I always told you that you should take writing more seriously (granted this is just a bit of fun in comparison to some of your other stuff lol) but maybe you should consider give up the nerdy studying and master the craft of writing instead-you certainly wouldn't miss the exams!

...I think it was the way you wrote the sibling interactions between Parker and Lyle that tipped me off, or perhaps the adorably insecure confessionals that appear at each chapters beginning and end, or maybe just the way that your thoughts always blurt out in the most random yet completely in-tune and plot encompassing ways... but it is so you and if it's not My Little Aussie Jess, then I'm completely freaking out some other amazing writer (though quite possibly a coincidence, I'm yet to meet anyone who shares your fondness for underscores and exclamation marks...) 

So, anyway, if this is you, I'm so pleased that you finally decided to put something out there for others to read, your first piece is awesome. And if not-I'm really sorry for freaking you out, but your work is amazing and I'll certainly be looking for updates (promise I'm not a stalker, just hope I've found an old friend)!

Luke 

it's fantastic.  it's so well done, hard to believe you haven't written before.  you depiction of jarod is really three-dimensional.   how about posting another chapter?  we've been waiting way too long.

By now only God knows how many times poor Jarod have been caught by the Centre thanks to the fan fics writers ;) Since it is so often done it's big risk that the story turns into a cliché-o-rama. Your story didn't.

Got the feeling that you have given a lot of thought to how the plot will develop and I'm curois of what will happen next.

Like your style of writing and loved the drunk Miss Parker part. Big kudos for the way you wrote Lyle.

In short: great story :)  

Still enjoying this story very much ~ looking forward to more!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much Jeanne B!

5 stars again is quite an honour!

I'm updating as I'm replying so I really hope you'll enjoy the next chapter! 

You're doing an incredible job with this!  The character 'voices' are spot-on and I'm dying to know what happens next.  More, please?!?

Author's Response:

Thanks Taryn!

It's great to get feedback and Ask politely and ye shall receive! I'm updating today-hope you keep enjoying.

This was really wonderful! I love the ingenuity of having the kid cuff Jarod, perfect. I really hope you continue this.

Author's Response:

Thanks TLM, I’m really glad you liked it! The third chapter will shed a bit more light on why it was the kid (so hopefully I won’t disappoint)… Thank you so much for your review, it’s most appreciated!

You've got me hooked already. Your writing style is terrific..right up there with the best of the fanfic authors.

I loved all the little details.  Can't wait for another chapter!

Very good, I like the story, I'm looking forward to read the rest of it!

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review Quinn!

Glad to hear you’ve enjoyed this chapter.

I’m hoping to update soon, so hopefully you won’t be disappointed!

Thanks for your time, it really means a lot to hear people are enjoying this.

ooh I am very intrigued! I cannot wait to read more. I loved how you did the minute by minute, but it's just because it's nearly 2:30am and I'm still up, but I loved how all over the place Jarod was. The smiley face bit was great.. such wonderful little details that melted together to make one excellent chapter.

I shall look forward to the next post! 

Verrry good!

This is really your first fanfic?  You're off to a great start.  You're style is fresh and engaging.  It really feels like a window into Jarod's troubled mind.  The best part of this piece was the details you chose to include:  Jarod noticing the time every few minutes, thinking that yellow was a "safe" color, recognizing the kind of needle they had.  You're off to a great start, and I hope you'll continue.

Well, you asked for "constructive criticism," so here goes:  the only thing I would change in this chap would be the part where Lyle pulls a gun on Jarod.  It's a little confusing for a minute there--I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be picturing Lyle or a very pissed off Miss Parker.

Overall, excellent chap!  I look forward to more.