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Chapter or Story 
Chapter or Story
The Answers You’re Looking For
Miss Parker stepped away from the grave after contemplating it for a few moments. The service had ended ten minutes earlier, and most of the mourners had already left – most, but not all. Standing off to one side was Michelle, watching Parker and waiting for her to make her peace with the man in the ground. As Parker turned around to leave, her gaze fell upon Michelle. Michelle gave her a tentative smile, and Parker smiled back and started walking toward her. She’d never really known Michelle the entire time that Sydney had been alive, but in the last few days, she’d grown to like the woman.
“I was hoping to get a chance to speak to you after the service,” Michelle said.
“Is something wrong?” Parker asked with concern.
“No,” Michelle smiled, “Nothing’s wrong. It’s just that…well, Sydney’s lawyer read the will this morning, and well…”
“Yes?”
“Sydney left some papers for you,” Michelle said quickly.
“Papers?” Parker asked with confusion.
“Yes, I’m not sure what they are. Right before he passed, Sydney had mentioned that he had some very important papers for you and that I should make sure you read them. He said that several times. He was very concerned that you wouldn’t read them.”
Parker smiled. “I think Sydney still thought of me as a child, a child that could be willful at times I suppose. Yes, of course, I will read them. Are they with the lawyer?”
“No, I have them in my car. If you don’t mind following me…”
“Certainly, I have nowhere to be at the moment,” Parker said, and as she said it, she realized how true that statement was. As she and Michelle walked to her car, Parker thought about how quiet things were going to be now that Sydney had passed.
Parker hadn’t heard from Jarod in over six months – not since their conversation after the plane crash. Broots had been transferred to a legitimate subsidiary of the Centre in California. Parker hadn’t even known that Broots had put in a request to be transferred until Broots was about to leave. She understood why he did it, and she really couldn’t blame him. Debbie was getting old enough to ask questions about what Broots did for a living, and Broots was running out of answers.
Broots had left two months ago, and Sydney had fallen ill shortly after that. The last couple of months had been difficult for Parker, but more than anything, she had been lonely. Now that Sydney had passed, Parker wasn’t sure what she was going to do. Although the Centre continued to pursue Jarod, the chase had been significantly scaled back after Broots’ transfer and Sydney’s illness. Parker put thoughts of the future out of her mind as Michelle opened the trunk to her car to retrieve the papers and rambled on about cleaning out Sydney’s place. Parker knew she should volunteer to help, but she stayed silent as she tried not to think about anything – not the future, not Sydney’s death and, most of all, not Jarod.
Later that afternoon, Parker opened the door to her house and found it depressingly quiet. She laid the thick envelope that Michelle had given her on the dining room table as she went to pour herself a drink. She didn’t know why Sydney had been so insistent that she read these papers; that in itself set off enough alarm bells in Parker’s head to make her not want to read them. She sighed and set the glass of scotch on the table, sat down and opened the envelope. She pulled out the contents and spread them out on the table.
The first thing that caught her eye was a strip of photos, the kind that one gets at a photo booth. It was a series of four photos in black and white, and when Parker looked at it more closely, she gasped in shock. Staring back at her were photos of her and Jarod as teenagers. Parker guessed that she was maybe fifteen or sixteen years old at the time the photos were taken. The first photo showed Parker and Jarod cuddling together in the tight space of the photo booth. The next photo showed Jarod whispering into Parker’s ear while she appeared to blush in embarrassment. The third photo showed Parker and Jarod sharing a passionate kiss, and the last photo – the photo that caused Parker to begin to shake – showed Parker and Jarod holding up their left hands to the camera to reveal wedding rings on their respective hands.
She and Jarod had been married? How could that have happened, and why couldn’t she remember something as significant as that? Parker began to rifle through the papers furiously looking for a marriage certificate, but there was none to be found. She came across some notes in Raines’ handwriting that showed a date two weeks after Parker’s sixteenth birthday and read, “Subject is generally good health, if somewhat defiant. Although hyman has been broken, pregnancy test came back negative; subject is scheduled for immediate reeducation.”
Parker read the notes again. Had she and Jarod been intimate? Why else would the Centre have ordered a pregnancy test? And Parker didn’t remember losing her virginity until she went to Europe for boarding school, but these notes indicated something different. As she continued to fumble through the papers in shock, she came across a small envelope with her name handwritten across the front. She immediately recognized the handwriting as Sydney’s and ripped the envelope open.
“My Dearest Catherine:
I know you don’t like to be called by your first name, but if you are reading this, then I am gone, and one of the great privileges of the deceased is that they can do as they please.
I wish I could be with you now to help you process and come to terms with what I’m about to tell you, but I cannot. I was sworn to secrecy by the Centre when I was alive that I would never speak of what I am about to tell you. They threatened to harm everyone that I loved – Michelle, Nicholas, Jacob, Jarod and even you – if I ever said anything. I could not risk that. I hope you understand and will forgive me.
On your sixteenth birthday, Jarod escaped from the Centre. He apparently convinced you to leave with him, and from what I had seen leading up to Jarod’s escape, I knew that you two had become infatuated with each other. I marked it up to an adolescent romance – a mistake on my part, I later learned. When the Centre found you both two weeks later, you and Jarod had been married by a justice of the peace and were living together as husband and wife in a bed and breakfast in Virginia.
After you and Jarod were brought back to the Centre, you were both scheduled for reeducation immediately. I was allowed to speak with you both before your reeducation. My conversation with you was brief, but in that short time I realized that your relationship with Jarod went far beyond infatuation and that you genuinely loved him. You had told me that you were especially upset that Dr. Raines had taken your wedding band from you and had asked me to get it back for you so that you could have something to help you remember Jarod. Even at the tender age of sixteen, I was stricken by how you quietly accepted your fate. I later learned that the reason you were so compliant was because they had threatened to kill Jarod if you didn’t comply. I was heartbroken for you both and felt a rage I had never felt before at my complete impotence to protect you from the Centre.
When I spoke with Jarod before his reeducation, I told him how upset you were to have your wedding band taken from you. He then gave me his wedding band to give to you. He spoke of the two weeks he spent with you as being the happiest time of his life and said that the Centre would never be able to erase his connection to you. I see now that he was right.
Over the last several years, I have watched you chase Jarod with a zeal that few possess, and I realize that on an emotional level, you still have that connection to Jarod that could not be erased. I saw evidence of that bond every day in the ring that you wear on your index finger – Jarod’s wedding band. When I gave it to you right before your reeducation, you placed it on your finger and said that you would never take it off and that as long as you wore it, you and Jarod would be married - no matter how the Centre tried to destroy the truth of what had happened. To this day, you still wear that ring, although you clearly don’t remember what it signifies – and neither did the Centre when they reeducated you.
I am an old man with many, many regrets, but the biggest regret of my life is the chance for happiness that I lost with Michelle. I let the Centre take the one thing that mattered most to me, and I could never replace it – not with work, not with hobbies, not even with my surrogate children, you and Jarod.
I am telling you all of this because you deserve to know the truth, and you deserve to have the happiness that you and Jarod once shared. You were brave enough to capture it once – don’t let it slip by you a second time. I love you Catherine Monica Parker, and I will always think of you as my daughter.
With love,
Sydney”
Parker was crying and shaking so hard she could barely sit up in her chair. She wanted to curl up in a ball and never move again. Pain seared through her chest – a pain stronger than what she had experienced when Tommy died. Tommy had been her lover, but Jarod had been the love of her life. The Centre had not only tried to erase that love, but they had made her hunt down her husband like an animal for the last five years with the sole purpose of taking him back to the organization that had ripped them apart as young lovers. The bitter irony was not lost on her, and she crumbled to the floor and began to rock back and forth. How could she possibly go on? How did she continue living with the knowledge that the chance for true happiness had been taken from her and that there was truly nothing left in her life now.
Miss Parker stepped away from the grave after contemplating it for a few moments. The service had ended ten minutes earlier, and most of the mourners had already left – most, but not all. Standing off to one side was Michelle, watching Parker and waiting for her to make her peace with the man in the ground. As Parker turned around to leave, her gaze fell upon Michelle. Michelle gave her a tentative smile, and Parker smiled back and started walking toward her. She’d never really known Michelle the entire time that Sydney had been alive, but in the last few days, she’d grown to like the woman.
“I was hoping to get a chance to speak to you after the service,” Michelle said.
“Is something wrong?” Parker asked with concern.
“No,” Michelle smiled, “Nothing’s wrong. It’s just that…well, Sydney’s lawyer read the will this morning, and well…”
“Yes?”
“Sydney left some papers for you,” Michelle said quickly.
“Papers?” Parker asked with confusion.
“Yes, I’m not sure what they are. Right before he passed, Sydney had mentioned that he had some very important papers for you and that I should make sure you read them. He said that several times. He was very concerned that you wouldn’t read them.”
Parker smiled. “I think Sydney still thought of me as a child, a child that could be willful at times I suppose. Yes, of course, I will read them. Are they with the lawyer?”
“No, I have them in my car. If you don’t mind following me…”
“Certainly, I have nowhere to be at the moment,” Parker said, and as she said it, she realized how true that statement was. As she and Michelle walked to her car, Parker thought about how quiet things were going to be now that Sydney had passed.
Parker hadn’t heard from Jarod in over six months – not since their conversation after the plane crash. Broots had been transferred to a legitimate subsidiary of the Centre in California. Parker hadn’t even known that Broots had put in a request to be transferred until Broots was about to leave. She understood why he did it, and she really couldn’t blame him. Debbie was getting old enough to ask questions about what Broots did for a living, and Broots was running out of answers.
Broots had left two months ago, and Sydney had fallen ill shortly after that. The last couple of months had been difficult for Parker, but more than anything, she had been lonely. Now that Sydney had passed, Parker wasn’t sure what she was going to do. Although the Centre continued to pursue Jarod, the chase had been significantly scaled back after Broots’ transfer and Sydney’s illness. Parker put thoughts of the future out of her mind as Michelle opened the trunk to her car to retrieve the papers and rambled on about cleaning out Sydney’s place. Parker knew she should volunteer to help, but she stayed silent as she tried not to think about anything – not the future, not Sydney’s death and, most of all, not Jarod.
Later that afternoon, Parker opened the door to her house and found it depressingly quiet. She laid the thick envelope that Michelle had given her on the dining room table as she went to pour herself a drink. She didn’t know why Sydney had been so insistent that she read these papers; that in itself set off enough alarm bells in Parker’s head to make her not want to read them. She sighed and set the glass of scotch on the table, sat down and opened the envelope. She pulled out the contents and spread them out on the table.
The first thing that caught her eye was a strip of photos, the kind that one gets at a photo booth. It was a series of four photos in black and white, and when Parker looked at it more closely, she gasped in shock. Staring back at her were photos of her and Jarod as teenagers. Parker guessed that she was maybe fifteen or sixteen years old at the time the photos were taken. The first photo showed Parker and Jarod cuddling together in the tight space of the photo booth. The next photo showed Jarod whispering into Parker’s ear while she appeared to blush in embarrassment. The third photo showed Parker and Jarod sharing a passionate kiss, and the last photo – the photo that caused Parker to begin to shake – showed Parker and Jarod holding up their left hands to the camera to reveal wedding rings on their respective hands.
She and Jarod had been married? How could that have happened, and why couldn’t she remember something as significant as that? Parker began to rifle through the papers furiously looking for a marriage certificate, but there was none to be found. She came across some notes in Raines’ handwriting that showed a date two weeks after Parker’s sixteenth birthday and read, “Subject is generally good health, if somewhat defiant. Although hyman has been broken, pregnancy test came back negative; subject is scheduled for immediate reeducation.”
Parker read the notes again. Had she and Jarod been intimate? Why else would the Centre have ordered a pregnancy test? And Parker didn’t remember losing her virginity until she went to Europe for boarding school, but these notes indicated something different. As she continued to fumble through the papers in shock, she came across a small envelope with her name handwritten across the front. She immediately recognized the handwriting as Sydney’s and ripped the envelope open.
“My Dearest Catherine:
I know you don’t like to be called by your first name, but if you are reading this, then I am gone, and one of the great privileges of the deceased is that they can do as they please.
I wish I could be with you now to help you process and come to terms with what I’m about to tell you, but I cannot. I was sworn to secrecy by the Centre when I was alive that I would never speak of what I am about to tell you. They threatened to harm everyone that I loved – Michelle, Nicholas, Jacob, Jarod and even you – if I ever said anything. I could not risk that. I hope you understand and will forgive me.
On your sixteenth birthday, Jarod escaped from the Centre. He apparently convinced you to leave with him, and from what I had seen leading up to Jarod’s escape, I knew that you two had become infatuated with each other. I marked it up to an adolescent romance – a mistake on my part, I later learned. When the Centre found you both two weeks later, you and Jarod had been married by a justice of the peace and were living together as husband and wife in a bed and breakfast in Virginia.
After you and Jarod were brought back to the Centre, you were both scheduled for reeducation immediately. I was allowed to speak with you both before your reeducation. My conversation with you was brief, but in that short time I realized that your relationship with Jarod went far beyond infatuation and that you genuinely loved him. You had told me that you were especially upset that Dr. Raines had taken your wedding band from you and had asked me to get it back for you so that you could have something to help you remember Jarod. Even at the tender age of sixteen, I was stricken by how you quietly accepted your fate. I later learned that the reason you were so compliant was because they had threatened to kill Jarod if you didn’t comply. I was heartbroken for you both and felt a rage I had never felt before at my complete impotence to protect you from the Centre.
When I spoke with Jarod before his reeducation, I told him how upset you were to have your wedding band taken from you. He then gave me his wedding band to give to you. He spoke of the two weeks he spent with you as being the happiest time of his life and said that the Centre would never be able to erase his connection to you. I see now that he was right.
Over the last several years, I have watched you chase Jarod with a zeal that few possess, and I realize that on an emotional level, you still have that connection to Jarod that could not be erased. I saw evidence of that bond every day in the ring that you wear on your index finger – Jarod’s wedding band. When I gave it to you right before your reeducation, you placed it on your finger and said that you would never take it off and that as long as you wore it, you and Jarod would be married - no matter how the Centre tried to destroy the truth of what had happened. To this day, you still wear that ring, although you clearly don’t remember what it signifies – and neither did the Centre when they reeducated you.
I am an old man with many, many regrets, but the biggest regret of my life is the chance for happiness that I lost with Michelle. I let the Centre take the one thing that mattered most to me, and I could never replace it – not with work, not with hobbies, not even with my surrogate children, you and Jarod.
I am telling you all of this because you deserve to know the truth, and you deserve to have the happiness that you and Jarod once shared. You were brave enough to capture it once – don’t let it slip by you a second time. I love you Catherine Monica Parker, and I will always think of you as my daughter.
With love,
Sydney”
Parker was crying and shaking so hard she could barely sit up in her chair. She wanted to curl up in a ball and never move again. Pain seared through her chest – a pain stronger than what she had experienced when Tommy died. Tommy had been her lover, but Jarod had been the love of her life. The Centre had not only tried to erase that love, but they had made her hunt down her husband like an animal for the last five years with the sole purpose of taking him back to the organization that had ripped them apart as young lovers. The bitter irony was not lost on her, and she crumbled to the floor and began to rock back and forth. How could she possibly go on? How did she continue living with the knowledge that the chance for true happiness had been taken from her and that there was truly nothing left in her life now.
