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Summary: Just right after everyone seem to get used to the changes in the Centre, suddenly the events take a sudden change...
Note: MANY MANY thanks to Dianne for beta-reading it for me! You are such a big help! Thanks really a lot!
NOTE: This chapter has not been checked by a beta-reader. If anything bothers you, I’m sorry but you’ll have to put up with it… there’s more to this story than 100 precise grammar. This, of course, doesn’t mean I didn’t proof-read them. The chapter will be replaced by the beta versions once I get them. :) Enjoy!
Note: MANY MANY thanks to Dianne for beta-reading it for me! You are such a big help! Thanks really a lot!
NOTE: This chapter has not been checked by a beta-reader. If anything bothers you, I’m sorry but you’ll have to put up with it… there’s more to this story than 100 precise grammar. This, of course, doesn’t mean I didn’t proof-read them. The chapter will be replaced by the beta versions once I get them. :) Enjoy!
Unknown Place
Kitchen
7.36 am
Jarod put the fork into the sink before he turned around. He wanted to get back to the living-room but he bumped into Sydney.
”Ah Sydney sorry I didn’t-“
”Jarod we need to talk!”
”Is everything okay?” He asked.
”It depends.” He replied. Just a look at his mentor’s face told Jarod that the old man was serious. He nodded as response. “I need your help.” He said. This was a sentence that he has never heard from Sydney.
--
Unknown Place
Upstairs –Miss Parker’s room
8.03 am
Glancing at the clock, Parker noted that she still had one and a half hour until the meeting. She hesitated for a few moments if she should go downstairs be she decided against it. She had no mood listening to them until she really had to. Taking a breath, she settled herself on the bed and leant back.
--
Unknown Place
Downstairs –Kitchen
Same Time
Jarod locked gaze with Sydney. For at least two minutes, he didn’t say a word. Sydney either. The younger man couldn’t glance away. Sydney was asking him a favor. A favor that was simple yet so difficult. After weeks… months…. after years Parker decided to join him. She didn’t promise him the world. She hadn’t even said if she wants to be with HIM or just said yes to join him because she knew that he was capable of hiding from the Centre. That’s why he had to hold on to his chance to find out what she felt, to find out what he himself felt exactly and… how things could work out between them, if they could at all. But for that he needed her with him, as much as he could.
And now Sydney was asking the opposite. His mentor was asking him to leave her behind.
”Just for a while, Jarod.” Sydney repeated and then grew silent. For a while they were just staring at each other without saying anything. Finally Jarod sighed.
”Did you ever consider coming, when I asked?” He asked. The way Sydney was staring at him could have been an answer itself. But surprisingly, the old man spoke.
”Yes, I did. And as I’ve said, it’s just for a short time.” Jarod still didn’t know what to reply. He knew what were the things what he couldn’t do for his mentor if he ever asked, even though he was sure Sydney wouldn’t. But at that moment, the older man asked him to do something, that he was not prepared of. He wasn’t prepared of the situation they were in, and wasn’t prepared of asking for HIS unexpected chance. Because that is what Sydney was asking for. His chance with Parker.
Gazing straight into his eyes, Jarod wondered if it was finally about time to forgive him. Forgive him for working for the Centre. Forgive him for keeping him in that place, doing the sims, taking advantage of him as a kid and…. forgive him for not giving the love back. No. He had to forgive him for not letting it show… enough. Jarod realized, he had almost all members of his family but Sydney had his own to… settle.
Sydney did take his father to him when the Major was exchanged with Mr. Parker. And Sydney had no loyalty to the ex-chairman of the Centre. His conclusion was… he might not have shown it obviously, but the old man had done things for Jarod. Parker was no Centre operative anymore. Sydney neither. Parker said yes to HIM. He just had to… delay his own time, to allow his mentor to get a chance too. Sydney has had to pay for his sins and knowing him, Jarod was sure the old man will have a hard time forgiving himself, if he ever could. And for that, he needed other people’s forgiveness first.
Jarod knew… his chance to show his forgiveness has come. He had to give room for someone else too. He closed his eyes briefly, let out a sigh and spoke.
”I will set up a false lead for the Centre at the other part of the country.” Sydney didn’t reply, he just nodded. He knew what it meant… he didn’t have to ask Parker to go with HIM instead of Jarod… all he had to do was to ask her to STAY with him for a while… to solve their issues. “But to be honest Sydney, I have nothing to do with that decision!”
”I know.” Sydney said. “But if she knows that your offer does not stand only this time, she might consider to give our problem a chance.” Jarod sighed before he rose from his seat.
”I’ve got some work to do.” He said. Sydney nodded in acknowledge. And as a thank you. When Jarod left the room, he rose to his feet too. The hard part was just coming up. Convincing Parker to stay with him for a couple of days, to talk about their relationship because after all, no matter how angry Parker was and how much she wanted to deny it, it WAS a relationship. With a sigh, he turned around to head to the field of his next battle.
--
Unknown Place
Downstairs –Living room
8.23 am
The Major nodded, however he had absolutely no idea what Broots was talking about. He didn’t want to interrupt him. Broots was trying to teach him a few stuff on the lap-top that were over his capabilities and –his interest- but the enthusiasm on the younger man’s face was too overwhelming just to simply ‘stop him’. Instead he just listened, nodded when it was time for it and listened again. When Jarod finally stepped into the room, he felt relieved.
The expression on the Pretender’s face told them he was somewhere else in mind, and his actions seemed to prove it. He just went to the lap top, and started to type frantically, not acknowledging their presence. At least it seemed so.
”Son, is everything okay?” The Major frowned.
”Mhm yes, it is. Or will be. Hopefully.” When neither of them replied, Jarod looked up and noticed their glare. “I just have a few things to set up.” He reassured them. “Nothing’s wrong. You are going to meet the others soon!” He said and a warm but a quick smile appeared on his face.
--
Unknown Place
Upstairs –Miss Parker’s room
8.30 am
Miss Parker heard a soft knock on the door. She opened her eyes, realizing she almost fell asleep. Glancing at the clock, she turned her attention back to the door. Jarod, she thought.
”Come in.” She said.
For a moment she felt tired but that disappeared in the moment the door opened up because she suddenly became alert. Sydney closed it behind himself, but didn’t go further into the room. He just put his hands into his pockets and Parker couldn’t help being reminded of her father… of Mr. Parker. A sudden wave of rage and pain filled her inside but she tried to dismiss it. She couldn’t channel it to Sydney, no matter how angry and frustrated she was with him. Sydney’s sins were not her father’s sins.
Suddenly it occurred to her that they DID have similarities. Their attraction to her mother, their need of Jarod and their relationship to her. They both decided what she needed to know and what not. Their agendas were different… but the actions the same. They both lied. And the point where they joined… were her weakest point in her whole life. Being her father.
Parker felt a bit of a frustration as well. She was frustrated because whenever Sydney was around, all her issues seemed to break into surface again. She was relaxing, she was having a rest, a peaceful morning that she hadn’t had in years and just the sight of him made those emotions and feelings attack her again. And it was all Sydney’s fault.
Seconds passed. Seconds that changed into a minute. But neither Sydney nor Parker spoke. Miss Parker was just staring straight into his eyes, the rejection, anger and doubt evident in her eyes. For a moment Sydney thought there was no way to convince her to let him… explain himself. But it only lasted a second because Sydney took a deep breath and decided he was not going to give up. He has given up on too much things his life, and he remained silent for too long.
He took a step toward the bed where she was sitting before he spoke.
”How are you feeling?” He asked. Sydney didn’t like, that her so famously intimidating and icy glare was turned to him. She has looked at him many ways but this was always meant for her enemies. And he couldn’t allow her to think of him as an enemy. Her expression didn’t change, and she didn’t break eye contact when she replied.
”Guess!” She said. Her voice was neutral and when her tone was neutral, she kept distance. That was what he had to cross. Their distance.
”You are angry.” He stated after a short while.
”I always knew there had to be a reason for them allowing you to become a shrink.” She said. When Sydney refused to response the way she wanted him to her sarcastic comment, she spoke again. “Although, with this rate, even Broots could have been one. This was something what even he could point out.” She said.
The old man was completely aware of what she wanted. It was true, he did lose his patience and his nerves grew thicker than usually in the last couple of days but -tired though- but he has collected himself and he would have none of it. He was not letting her upset him because she was waiting for the first chance to lash out on him. He wouldn’t have mind it, it would have just helped her but he definitely wanted to avoid the repeat of the events of the night before. So he was changing strategy.
”A doctor always needs to examine his patient to find out about her well-being. Guessing, never helps.”
”I’m not your patient.” She said in an icy and deep tone.
”No, you are not my patient… as a shrink. But due to the drug issue, I would need to know exact things to make sure what it is.” Sydney waited for her reaction… and her sarcastic comment. And it came. After a short but intense glare, she chuckled. Unusually. The chuckle was bitter and amused at the same time, her look told it to him.
”You want to know my condition so you can find out what drug it was!” She said with a smile on her face. A fake smile. “You need details so it might remind you of some… long-forgotten experiment. Forgotten by you, but not the Centre.” Sydney frowned but didn’t reply. “Because isn’t this how it usually goes, Sydney.” She said in a suspiciously calm tone. “Everything we dig up, somehow pops up in your history too. If not you being part of it… but having memories of it. Tell me Sydney, what do you know about my condition?” She asked, challenging. “I’m sure your… survival… covers this issue as well.”
She was good, he had to admit. But he wasn’t giving in. In fact, he decided to surprise her with an unexpected reply. With the truth.
”Observing you, watching the effects and your condition, I’m quite sure it’s a drug, developed by Raines, years ago. It was used on people who didn’t have to go through the radical re-education. People whose memories the Centre needed, but wanted them out of the way for a while. The permission to use it was denied ages ago. I have no clue about the reason of it.” He said but she didn’t reply. “I know it because Jacob got into a fight with Raines about this and I had to get him out of trouble.” He went on. “The drug results in a permanent memory loss, if the treatment is finished. It’s like the serum for Angelo. If not finished, the effect won’t be complete. And that has happened to you. You should have gotten your doses whenever you fainted. But since you did not get them, it started to fade out of your system… and mind.” He said. “Which… can result in suddenly regaining memories… or slowly. Which has really happened to you, Miss Parker?”
For a while she just glared at him again. Then, her neutral expression changed. The right part of her mouth formed into a small, devilish smile. “You’re the expert, you figure!”
”If you had regained your memories sooner, knowing you, I would have felt it sooner.” He stated. Parker just chuckled in amusement but Sydney knew she was far from amused… or calm in the first place. Their earlier confrontation was just a small taste of her real rage which was bubbling under the surface, ready to break free. He just had to avoid the sudden explosion, he knew that. Sydney was aware of the fact that he slowly had to let her let it out and not at once.
All of a sudden her expression changed. From the bitter smile became a cold glare. Her blue eyes reminded him of ice, ice that could reach down her heart… if she wanted to. A wall of ice which protected her from all the danger from the warm feeling of emotions. She was protecting herself from him. Sydney spoke again.
”It’s about time to be honest, Miss Parker.” He said and her name suddenly felt odd.
”Honest.” She repeated, her expression remaining the same. Sydney watched as Parker in a swift motion, got off the bed. For a few seconds he watched as she just folded her arms, took a few steps and stopped, facing him.
”You and I… will never be honest with each other.” She stated. The old man raised his head.
”Why do you say that?”
”Because you and I, Sydney, have an entirely different opinion of honesty, in mind.” She replied coldly. “Your honesty… always requires lies. Lying to Jarod, lying to the Centre… lying to me. Even if you wanted to be honest Sydney, there would always be something that you kept hidden. A secret… a lie!”
”That’s human nature, Parker.” He said. “We all have parts in ourselves that we keep hidden, to stay safe. Some parts that certain people can’t see. That’s natural… and understandable. I always had my reasons for everything, Miss Parker. You exactly know, what honesty means in the Centre. But tell me, Parker, if my honesty is dishonest… then what is yours?” He asked, challenging her.
”Earnest. Because I’m not honest!” She stated simply. “There’s a main difference, Sydney. I don’t live in illusions.” She said and then added. “People have to earn my honesty! And the two person who did it, are dead now.” Parker watched as a sad smile appeared on Sydney’s face.
”That is where you’re wrong.” He told her. “You ARE living in illusions. That is the main reason why you’re here.” Taking a breath, he finished. “If you had ever seen clearly, you would have left the Centre ages ago. Or at least, would have tried to.” He added, realizing leaving the Centre is almost impossible… until you’re a pretender.
”What do you want, Sydney?” She asked, trying to ignore him. But she couldn’t and he knew it. The proof for it was her sudden urge to change topic.
”I want to try to solve our issue. And I want you and… I to face the truth. To face facts!”
”I have faced facts!” She said. “And I noted that they belong to those dirty revelations of my life… that I have to bear with.” For a moment Sydney thought they were on the same way. On their way to meet each other, in understanding that they both had to handle the situation. This thought however disappeared, when she added. “I’ll survive them. Just like all the rest. I will just ignore it.”
”So you think, the relationship of your mother and me, was just another dirty “revelation”?
”I’ve seen worse things about her, I won’t be shattered!” She lied.
”But I am!” He confessed. For a moment Parker just stared at him with wide eyes. This was an answer she didn’t expect. It was the moment when she could so easily tear him into pieces. The moment when a person is the most vulnerable… when they are open. But Parker knew better than that.
Sydney had opened up before… and have retreated with the same speed. She wouldn’t fall for it. Before she could have replied, he spoke again.
”Your mother and I had a beautiful relationship that was never meant to be forever. In the Centre, nothing’s forever. Nothing, that’s not their interest. You saw the DSA with your own eyes, you are angry with me because of what the Centre did and because of what your father did.” He said. “Want to know what I think?” He said and he took a step closer. Gazing straight into her eyes, he spoke. “You were raised by a man who got you addicted to him. He got you addicted like drug. He wasn’t good for you, yet you couldn’t leave him behind because from time to time he made you feel what you were seeking for. The less you got, the more you wanted.” He said, taking another step forward. Her expression started to change. As Sydney got nearer, she took a step back but put a firm wall between the two of them with her look. “You grew up in a lie, you grew up to love his illusion-world that he created for you. But Jarod escaped and he started to show us all, that the truth… is different than what the Centre wants us to think.”
”As if you didn’t know the real truth!” She bit back but he ignored her, and got closer again.
”The anger and pain kept on piling up inside and a few days ago, the last sheet of your illusion-world tore too. And you know the facts. You know that your father was not who he claimed to be, your life was not what THEY claimed it to be… and he’s not here to hate him. So you hate the very person who didn’t tell you something that was important. The person who is… available among the people who lied to you.” He said, the shrink talking. The anger was clear on her face by that time and he switched.
”You can’t expect me to be honest with you when you, yourself are dishonest with me. You and I were supposed to be only colleagues, and colleagues usually trust each other if they think they can. You never trusted me, so I couldn’t trust you either. I didn’t know the truth.” Parker was surprised to notice rage on the old man’s face. “You know exactly what I would do for my son!” True. She was completely aware of that. “Do you really think, if I knew the truth about you… I would have let all those things happen?” She didn’t reply, just kept on stubbornly looking at him with anger all over her face. “I have my sins Parker, we all do, but I’m not a monster.” He said and after a deep sigh, he added. “Not anymore.”
”What. Do. You. Want?” She hissed. Suddenly it occurred to him. She wanted to hear him saying it. She wanted to hear what HE wanted… she was afraid of him and his feelings. And he couldn’t blame her.
”Trust!” He said. “If we can have it, we can come to terms with what happened to the both of us.” When she didn’t reply, he forced himself to add. “And we can work out a way for us.”
”I can’t trust you, Sydney.”
--
Unknown Place
Upstairs –Corridor
Same Time
Ethan could sense the tension in the whole house. He woke up like that. When he decided to finally join the others, the feelings bothering him from the inside seemed to settle. He was on his way downstairs when he unexpectedly, literally, bumped into Jarod. His brother was so occupied with his own thoughts, that he simply didn’t see Ethan coming.
”Oh I’m sorry!” He said and winced. Ethan knew, his wounds still hurt and the sudden contact with his shoulder must have hurt him.
”Sorry! Are you okay?” Ethan asked.
”Yes, I’m fine.” He said, gently massaging his own shoulder. Ethan glanced down at his movements. He sighed.
”It’s horrible, isn’t it, brother?” He asked and Jarod frowned. “Even though you are out of the Centre, you still have scars by them. Literally!” He said, obviously thinking deeply about it.
”I’ve managed to live with it.” He said reassuringly before he added. “As much as I could.”
”But you’ll never go back there!” Ethan stated.
”Unfortunately, I have to.” He said, confusing the younger man. Jarod just patted his shoulder before he turned to leave. “I have a baby to get out of there!”
”A baby?” He whispered. He spun around and called after his brother. “The Baby!” Jarod turned back, staring at him surprised. “Angelo!” Ethan said.
”What about Angelo?” Jarod said and his brother heard the sadness in his voice.
”Angelo helped us… getting the two of you out. I went for Parker with Angelo and… he made us all creep through the air vents. When we were alone, we passed a room. I couldn’t take a good look, the view wasn’t perfect but Angelo just uttered “Baby”. I asked him what he was talking about but he just kept on repeating Baby and… oh! He gave me a DSA!” He said. Jarod saw the confused look on his face which was replaced by disbelief. “I forgot about it!” He said.
”It’s okay, Ethan, we all-“
”I never forget anything!” He said. Jarod patted his shoulder again.
”Ethan, you were in the Centre. You not only lose hope there… but memories too. The place has it’s horrible effects.” He said with a sigh. Jarod saw the confused look on his younger brother’s face and made a mental note to talk about it with him later. But now they had some other things to settle. “Do you still have the DSA?”
”Yeah!” He replied, but was still elsewhere in thoughts. “It’s in my room.”
”Let me grab the player then and we’ll check out!”
--
Unknown Place
Upstairs –Miss Parker’s room
9.03 am
’I know you can’t!” Sydney replied. “But even if you cannot trust me in the future, we should try to… build up a bridge between the two of us. We have to at least give a chance to try to trust.” Parker didn’t reply, instead she turned away. Sydney added; “Parker, we have to try. You cannot ignore this, you cannot let it become just another emotional… scar!”
”Emotional scar?” She spun around. “What would you know about my emotional scars?”
”I know enough!” He said, looking deep into her eyes. Her brows furrowed.
”I don’t want to try anything with you. I don’t want to have ANYTHING to do with you, Sydney!” She growled. “You have done way too many things to deserve any chance!” She said. That was the point when Sydney knew, he was getting nowhere with her.
”And what about YOU?” He asked. “You keep on going on about what I have done, but what about YOU, Parker?” He said and Parker could feel the stress. “You haven’t exactly treated me with respect! Your ongoing remarks, sarcastic comments hurt people! You don’t have a normal relationship in your life and you can’t blame everything on the Centre! Your everyday behavior with colleagues decide the atmosphere around you and if you just showed respect to any of them…. to any of US, you wouldn’t be that much of a bitter woman because the environment you live in, has a huge impression on you!”
Parker suddenly stepped closed, looking into his eyes, and growled.
”There’s no one in the Centre, who deserve respect or different treatment!” She said. “EVERYONE, in the Centre knows the organization and that it’s not Disney Land in disguise!”
”Parker you have to face the fact that you are NOT the only one hurt in this world!” He replied, starting to lose patience.
”You either!” She bit back!
”How can you expect me to tell you the truth if it can be about my own life?” He asked. “How could have I trust you with an information that could have meant my own death! If anyone had found out that I know about Catherine’s plan, they would have killed me and there would have been no one there…”
”To protect your precious Pretender, ha, Sydney?”
”I am starting to think you are jealous!” He stated.
”I’m not jealous! I don’t need anything from you! He can have you, I give you for free!”
”I know you want me to go but I won’t do that. I’m not playing by your rules, Parker. It’s not only about you anymore!”
”And I should give a damn about you, because you were considering MY feelings when you KEPT the fact that you and my mother had an affair? No can do! Because just like YOU, I’m considering my OWN feelings!” She hissed.
”I could input many of your doings too, Parker!”
”Oh yeah, like what?” She challenged.
”You gave the Triumvirate the report, telling them it was me planting the bomb on SL-27!”
”And you stick up to Raines, to devil himself, just to keep me away from more secrets!” She said, raising her voice. As a result, Sydney replied in the same manner.
”You called Raines when you found out about Jacob!”
”You doubted me when I betrayed the Centre, saving him!”
”You shot me!”
”And you blew me up!” She shouted and then hissed. “We’re even!” Parker watched as Sydney folded his arms and a small satisfied smile appeared on his face. She then realized what she had said.
”That’s the point!” He said. “We both have the same chances if we try to trust each other and… try to do something with the fact, that you are my daughter.” He said it as it was the most natural thing on earth. It felt odd. This was the very first time when it was said aloud. Parker’s eyes went wide for a second before she turned away. She was having her dilemma. Sydney knew it was time to push her. “All I’m asking is, just a few days… you and me, staying here. Alone. With clear heads, a safe environment with NO one around! Let me prove that you can trust me!” After a short silence, he added. “Let me prove that I can trust you!”
She was reluctant, it was obvious. She had no idea what to do, no idea what to reply and Sydney felt it.
”You don’t have anything to lose, Parker. If it doesn’t turn out well, you can still turn around and walk away. Forever. If you decide like that, I’ll respect that!” He said. Parker slightly turned back. For the first time she noticed the worn-out face of Sydney. He obviously had no rest or a good night sleep for days. After staring into his eyes for a short while, she replied. But turned away first, avoiding the eye contact as she spoke.
”Three days!” She said firmly. “You get three days.”
”No. WE get three days!” He corrected.
”Call it whatever you want it!” She whispered. “I need to talk to Jarod.”
To be continued…
Kitchen
7.36 am
Jarod put the fork into the sink before he turned around. He wanted to get back to the living-room but he bumped into Sydney.
”Ah Sydney sorry I didn’t-“
”Jarod we need to talk!”
”Is everything okay?” He asked.
”It depends.” He replied. Just a look at his mentor’s face told Jarod that the old man was serious. He nodded as response. “I need your help.” He said. This was a sentence that he has never heard from Sydney.
--
Unknown Place
Upstairs –Miss Parker’s room
8.03 am
Glancing at the clock, Parker noted that she still had one and a half hour until the meeting. She hesitated for a few moments if she should go downstairs be she decided against it. She had no mood listening to them until she really had to. Taking a breath, she settled herself on the bed and leant back.
--
Unknown Place
Downstairs –Kitchen
Same Time
Jarod locked gaze with Sydney. For at least two minutes, he didn’t say a word. Sydney either. The younger man couldn’t glance away. Sydney was asking him a favor. A favor that was simple yet so difficult. After weeks… months…. after years Parker decided to join him. She didn’t promise him the world. She hadn’t even said if she wants to be with HIM or just said yes to join him because she knew that he was capable of hiding from the Centre. That’s why he had to hold on to his chance to find out what she felt, to find out what he himself felt exactly and… how things could work out between them, if they could at all. But for that he needed her with him, as much as he could.
And now Sydney was asking the opposite. His mentor was asking him to leave her behind.
”Just for a while, Jarod.” Sydney repeated and then grew silent. For a while they were just staring at each other without saying anything. Finally Jarod sighed.
”Did you ever consider coming, when I asked?” He asked. The way Sydney was staring at him could have been an answer itself. But surprisingly, the old man spoke.
”Yes, I did. And as I’ve said, it’s just for a short time.” Jarod still didn’t know what to reply. He knew what were the things what he couldn’t do for his mentor if he ever asked, even though he was sure Sydney wouldn’t. But at that moment, the older man asked him to do something, that he was not prepared of. He wasn’t prepared of the situation they were in, and wasn’t prepared of asking for HIS unexpected chance. Because that is what Sydney was asking for. His chance with Parker.
Gazing straight into his eyes, Jarod wondered if it was finally about time to forgive him. Forgive him for working for the Centre. Forgive him for keeping him in that place, doing the sims, taking advantage of him as a kid and…. forgive him for not giving the love back. No. He had to forgive him for not letting it show… enough. Jarod realized, he had almost all members of his family but Sydney had his own to… settle.
Sydney did take his father to him when the Major was exchanged with Mr. Parker. And Sydney had no loyalty to the ex-chairman of the Centre. His conclusion was… he might not have shown it obviously, but the old man had done things for Jarod. Parker was no Centre operative anymore. Sydney neither. Parker said yes to HIM. He just had to… delay his own time, to allow his mentor to get a chance too. Sydney has had to pay for his sins and knowing him, Jarod was sure the old man will have a hard time forgiving himself, if he ever could. And for that, he needed other people’s forgiveness first.
Jarod knew… his chance to show his forgiveness has come. He had to give room for someone else too. He closed his eyes briefly, let out a sigh and spoke.
”I will set up a false lead for the Centre at the other part of the country.” Sydney didn’t reply, he just nodded. He knew what it meant… he didn’t have to ask Parker to go with HIM instead of Jarod… all he had to do was to ask her to STAY with him for a while… to solve their issues. “But to be honest Sydney, I have nothing to do with that decision!”
”I know.” Sydney said. “But if she knows that your offer does not stand only this time, she might consider to give our problem a chance.” Jarod sighed before he rose from his seat.
”I’ve got some work to do.” He said. Sydney nodded in acknowledge. And as a thank you. When Jarod left the room, he rose to his feet too. The hard part was just coming up. Convincing Parker to stay with him for a couple of days, to talk about their relationship because after all, no matter how angry Parker was and how much she wanted to deny it, it WAS a relationship. With a sigh, he turned around to head to the field of his next battle.
--
Unknown Place
Downstairs –Living room
8.23 am
The Major nodded, however he had absolutely no idea what Broots was talking about. He didn’t want to interrupt him. Broots was trying to teach him a few stuff on the lap-top that were over his capabilities and –his interest- but the enthusiasm on the younger man’s face was too overwhelming just to simply ‘stop him’. Instead he just listened, nodded when it was time for it and listened again. When Jarod finally stepped into the room, he felt relieved.
The expression on the Pretender’s face told them he was somewhere else in mind, and his actions seemed to prove it. He just went to the lap top, and started to type frantically, not acknowledging their presence. At least it seemed so.
”Son, is everything okay?” The Major frowned.
”Mhm yes, it is. Or will be. Hopefully.” When neither of them replied, Jarod looked up and noticed their glare. “I just have a few things to set up.” He reassured them. “Nothing’s wrong. You are going to meet the others soon!” He said and a warm but a quick smile appeared on his face.
--
Unknown Place
Upstairs –Miss Parker’s room
8.30 am
Miss Parker heard a soft knock on the door. She opened her eyes, realizing she almost fell asleep. Glancing at the clock, she turned her attention back to the door. Jarod, she thought.
”Come in.” She said.
For a moment she felt tired but that disappeared in the moment the door opened up because she suddenly became alert. Sydney closed it behind himself, but didn’t go further into the room. He just put his hands into his pockets and Parker couldn’t help being reminded of her father… of Mr. Parker. A sudden wave of rage and pain filled her inside but she tried to dismiss it. She couldn’t channel it to Sydney, no matter how angry and frustrated she was with him. Sydney’s sins were not her father’s sins.
Suddenly it occurred to her that they DID have similarities. Their attraction to her mother, their need of Jarod and their relationship to her. They both decided what she needed to know and what not. Their agendas were different… but the actions the same. They both lied. And the point where they joined… were her weakest point in her whole life. Being her father.
Parker felt a bit of a frustration as well. She was frustrated because whenever Sydney was around, all her issues seemed to break into surface again. She was relaxing, she was having a rest, a peaceful morning that she hadn’t had in years and just the sight of him made those emotions and feelings attack her again. And it was all Sydney’s fault.
Seconds passed. Seconds that changed into a minute. But neither Sydney nor Parker spoke. Miss Parker was just staring straight into his eyes, the rejection, anger and doubt evident in her eyes. For a moment Sydney thought there was no way to convince her to let him… explain himself. But it only lasted a second because Sydney took a deep breath and decided he was not going to give up. He has given up on too much things his life, and he remained silent for too long.
He took a step toward the bed where she was sitting before he spoke.
”How are you feeling?” He asked. Sydney didn’t like, that her so famously intimidating and icy glare was turned to him. She has looked at him many ways but this was always meant for her enemies. And he couldn’t allow her to think of him as an enemy. Her expression didn’t change, and she didn’t break eye contact when she replied.
”Guess!” She said. Her voice was neutral and when her tone was neutral, she kept distance. That was what he had to cross. Their distance.
”You are angry.” He stated after a short while.
”I always knew there had to be a reason for them allowing you to become a shrink.” She said. When Sydney refused to response the way she wanted him to her sarcastic comment, she spoke again. “Although, with this rate, even Broots could have been one. This was something what even he could point out.” She said.
The old man was completely aware of what she wanted. It was true, he did lose his patience and his nerves grew thicker than usually in the last couple of days but -tired though- but he has collected himself and he would have none of it. He was not letting her upset him because she was waiting for the first chance to lash out on him. He wouldn’t have mind it, it would have just helped her but he definitely wanted to avoid the repeat of the events of the night before. So he was changing strategy.
”A doctor always needs to examine his patient to find out about her well-being. Guessing, never helps.”
”I’m not your patient.” She said in an icy and deep tone.
”No, you are not my patient… as a shrink. But due to the drug issue, I would need to know exact things to make sure what it is.” Sydney waited for her reaction… and her sarcastic comment. And it came. After a short but intense glare, she chuckled. Unusually. The chuckle was bitter and amused at the same time, her look told it to him.
”You want to know my condition so you can find out what drug it was!” She said with a smile on her face. A fake smile. “You need details so it might remind you of some… long-forgotten experiment. Forgotten by you, but not the Centre.” Sydney frowned but didn’t reply. “Because isn’t this how it usually goes, Sydney.” She said in a suspiciously calm tone. “Everything we dig up, somehow pops up in your history too. If not you being part of it… but having memories of it. Tell me Sydney, what do you know about my condition?” She asked, challenging. “I’m sure your… survival… covers this issue as well.”
She was good, he had to admit. But he wasn’t giving in. In fact, he decided to surprise her with an unexpected reply. With the truth.
”Observing you, watching the effects and your condition, I’m quite sure it’s a drug, developed by Raines, years ago. It was used on people who didn’t have to go through the radical re-education. People whose memories the Centre needed, but wanted them out of the way for a while. The permission to use it was denied ages ago. I have no clue about the reason of it.” He said but she didn’t reply. “I know it because Jacob got into a fight with Raines about this and I had to get him out of trouble.” He went on. “The drug results in a permanent memory loss, if the treatment is finished. It’s like the serum for Angelo. If not finished, the effect won’t be complete. And that has happened to you. You should have gotten your doses whenever you fainted. But since you did not get them, it started to fade out of your system… and mind.” He said. “Which… can result in suddenly regaining memories… or slowly. Which has really happened to you, Miss Parker?”
For a while she just glared at him again. Then, her neutral expression changed. The right part of her mouth formed into a small, devilish smile. “You’re the expert, you figure!”
”If you had regained your memories sooner, knowing you, I would have felt it sooner.” He stated. Parker just chuckled in amusement but Sydney knew she was far from amused… or calm in the first place. Their earlier confrontation was just a small taste of her real rage which was bubbling under the surface, ready to break free. He just had to avoid the sudden explosion, he knew that. Sydney was aware of the fact that he slowly had to let her let it out and not at once.
All of a sudden her expression changed. From the bitter smile became a cold glare. Her blue eyes reminded him of ice, ice that could reach down her heart… if she wanted to. A wall of ice which protected her from all the danger from the warm feeling of emotions. She was protecting herself from him. Sydney spoke again.
”It’s about time to be honest, Miss Parker.” He said and her name suddenly felt odd.
”Honest.” She repeated, her expression remaining the same. Sydney watched as Parker in a swift motion, got off the bed. For a few seconds he watched as she just folded her arms, took a few steps and stopped, facing him.
”You and I… will never be honest with each other.” She stated. The old man raised his head.
”Why do you say that?”
”Because you and I, Sydney, have an entirely different opinion of honesty, in mind.” She replied coldly. “Your honesty… always requires lies. Lying to Jarod, lying to the Centre… lying to me. Even if you wanted to be honest Sydney, there would always be something that you kept hidden. A secret… a lie!”
”That’s human nature, Parker.” He said. “We all have parts in ourselves that we keep hidden, to stay safe. Some parts that certain people can’t see. That’s natural… and understandable. I always had my reasons for everything, Miss Parker. You exactly know, what honesty means in the Centre. But tell me, Parker, if my honesty is dishonest… then what is yours?” He asked, challenging her.
”Earnest. Because I’m not honest!” She stated simply. “There’s a main difference, Sydney. I don’t live in illusions.” She said and then added. “People have to earn my honesty! And the two person who did it, are dead now.” Parker watched as a sad smile appeared on Sydney’s face.
”That is where you’re wrong.” He told her. “You ARE living in illusions. That is the main reason why you’re here.” Taking a breath, he finished. “If you had ever seen clearly, you would have left the Centre ages ago. Or at least, would have tried to.” He added, realizing leaving the Centre is almost impossible… until you’re a pretender.
”What do you want, Sydney?” She asked, trying to ignore him. But she couldn’t and he knew it. The proof for it was her sudden urge to change topic.
”I want to try to solve our issue. And I want you and… I to face the truth. To face facts!”
”I have faced facts!” She said. “And I noted that they belong to those dirty revelations of my life… that I have to bear with.” For a moment Sydney thought they were on the same way. On their way to meet each other, in understanding that they both had to handle the situation. This thought however disappeared, when she added. “I’ll survive them. Just like all the rest. I will just ignore it.”
”So you think, the relationship of your mother and me, was just another dirty “revelation”?
”I’ve seen worse things about her, I won’t be shattered!” She lied.
”But I am!” He confessed. For a moment Parker just stared at him with wide eyes. This was an answer she didn’t expect. It was the moment when she could so easily tear him into pieces. The moment when a person is the most vulnerable… when they are open. But Parker knew better than that.
Sydney had opened up before… and have retreated with the same speed. She wouldn’t fall for it. Before she could have replied, he spoke again.
”Your mother and I had a beautiful relationship that was never meant to be forever. In the Centre, nothing’s forever. Nothing, that’s not their interest. You saw the DSA with your own eyes, you are angry with me because of what the Centre did and because of what your father did.” He said. “Want to know what I think?” He said and he took a step closer. Gazing straight into her eyes, he spoke. “You were raised by a man who got you addicted to him. He got you addicted like drug. He wasn’t good for you, yet you couldn’t leave him behind because from time to time he made you feel what you were seeking for. The less you got, the more you wanted.” He said, taking another step forward. Her expression started to change. As Sydney got nearer, she took a step back but put a firm wall between the two of them with her look. “You grew up in a lie, you grew up to love his illusion-world that he created for you. But Jarod escaped and he started to show us all, that the truth… is different than what the Centre wants us to think.”
”As if you didn’t know the real truth!” She bit back but he ignored her, and got closer again.
”The anger and pain kept on piling up inside and a few days ago, the last sheet of your illusion-world tore too. And you know the facts. You know that your father was not who he claimed to be, your life was not what THEY claimed it to be… and he’s not here to hate him. So you hate the very person who didn’t tell you something that was important. The person who is… available among the people who lied to you.” He said, the shrink talking. The anger was clear on her face by that time and he switched.
”You can’t expect me to be honest with you when you, yourself are dishonest with me. You and I were supposed to be only colleagues, and colleagues usually trust each other if they think they can. You never trusted me, so I couldn’t trust you either. I didn’t know the truth.” Parker was surprised to notice rage on the old man’s face. “You know exactly what I would do for my son!” True. She was completely aware of that. “Do you really think, if I knew the truth about you… I would have let all those things happen?” She didn’t reply, just kept on stubbornly looking at him with anger all over her face. “I have my sins Parker, we all do, but I’m not a monster.” He said and after a deep sigh, he added. “Not anymore.”
”What. Do. You. Want?” She hissed. Suddenly it occurred to him. She wanted to hear him saying it. She wanted to hear what HE wanted… she was afraid of him and his feelings. And he couldn’t blame her.
”Trust!” He said. “If we can have it, we can come to terms with what happened to the both of us.” When she didn’t reply, he forced himself to add. “And we can work out a way for us.”
”I can’t trust you, Sydney.”
--
Unknown Place
Upstairs –Corridor
Same Time
Ethan could sense the tension in the whole house. He woke up like that. When he decided to finally join the others, the feelings bothering him from the inside seemed to settle. He was on his way downstairs when he unexpectedly, literally, bumped into Jarod. His brother was so occupied with his own thoughts, that he simply didn’t see Ethan coming.
”Oh I’m sorry!” He said and winced. Ethan knew, his wounds still hurt and the sudden contact with his shoulder must have hurt him.
”Sorry! Are you okay?” Ethan asked.
”Yes, I’m fine.” He said, gently massaging his own shoulder. Ethan glanced down at his movements. He sighed.
”It’s horrible, isn’t it, brother?” He asked and Jarod frowned. “Even though you are out of the Centre, you still have scars by them. Literally!” He said, obviously thinking deeply about it.
”I’ve managed to live with it.” He said reassuringly before he added. “As much as I could.”
”But you’ll never go back there!” Ethan stated.
”Unfortunately, I have to.” He said, confusing the younger man. Jarod just patted his shoulder before he turned to leave. “I have a baby to get out of there!”
”A baby?” He whispered. He spun around and called after his brother. “The Baby!” Jarod turned back, staring at him surprised. “Angelo!” Ethan said.
”What about Angelo?” Jarod said and his brother heard the sadness in his voice.
”Angelo helped us… getting the two of you out. I went for Parker with Angelo and… he made us all creep through the air vents. When we were alone, we passed a room. I couldn’t take a good look, the view wasn’t perfect but Angelo just uttered “Baby”. I asked him what he was talking about but he just kept on repeating Baby and… oh! He gave me a DSA!” He said. Jarod saw the confused look on his face which was replaced by disbelief. “I forgot about it!” He said.
”It’s okay, Ethan, we all-“
”I never forget anything!” He said. Jarod patted his shoulder again.
”Ethan, you were in the Centre. You not only lose hope there… but memories too. The place has it’s horrible effects.” He said with a sigh. Jarod saw the confused look on his younger brother’s face and made a mental note to talk about it with him later. But now they had some other things to settle. “Do you still have the DSA?”
”Yeah!” He replied, but was still elsewhere in thoughts. “It’s in my room.”
”Let me grab the player then and we’ll check out!”
--
Unknown Place
Upstairs –Miss Parker’s room
9.03 am
’I know you can’t!” Sydney replied. “But even if you cannot trust me in the future, we should try to… build up a bridge between the two of us. We have to at least give a chance to try to trust.” Parker didn’t reply, instead she turned away. Sydney added; “Parker, we have to try. You cannot ignore this, you cannot let it become just another emotional… scar!”
”Emotional scar?” She spun around. “What would you know about my emotional scars?”
”I know enough!” He said, looking deep into her eyes. Her brows furrowed.
”I don’t want to try anything with you. I don’t want to have ANYTHING to do with you, Sydney!” She growled. “You have done way too many things to deserve any chance!” She said. That was the point when Sydney knew, he was getting nowhere with her.
”And what about YOU?” He asked. “You keep on going on about what I have done, but what about YOU, Parker?” He said and Parker could feel the stress. “You haven’t exactly treated me with respect! Your ongoing remarks, sarcastic comments hurt people! You don’t have a normal relationship in your life and you can’t blame everything on the Centre! Your everyday behavior with colleagues decide the atmosphere around you and if you just showed respect to any of them…. to any of US, you wouldn’t be that much of a bitter woman because the environment you live in, has a huge impression on you!”
Parker suddenly stepped closed, looking into his eyes, and growled.
”There’s no one in the Centre, who deserve respect or different treatment!” She said. “EVERYONE, in the Centre knows the organization and that it’s not Disney Land in disguise!”
”Parker you have to face the fact that you are NOT the only one hurt in this world!” He replied, starting to lose patience.
”You either!” She bit back!
”How can you expect me to tell you the truth if it can be about my own life?” He asked. “How could have I trust you with an information that could have meant my own death! If anyone had found out that I know about Catherine’s plan, they would have killed me and there would have been no one there…”
”To protect your precious Pretender, ha, Sydney?”
”I am starting to think you are jealous!” He stated.
”I’m not jealous! I don’t need anything from you! He can have you, I give you for free!”
”I know you want me to go but I won’t do that. I’m not playing by your rules, Parker. It’s not only about you anymore!”
”And I should give a damn about you, because you were considering MY feelings when you KEPT the fact that you and my mother had an affair? No can do! Because just like YOU, I’m considering my OWN feelings!” She hissed.
”I could input many of your doings too, Parker!”
”Oh yeah, like what?” She challenged.
”You gave the Triumvirate the report, telling them it was me planting the bomb on SL-27!”
”And you stick up to Raines, to devil himself, just to keep me away from more secrets!” She said, raising her voice. As a result, Sydney replied in the same manner.
”You called Raines when you found out about Jacob!”
”You doubted me when I betrayed the Centre, saving him!”
”You shot me!”
”And you blew me up!” She shouted and then hissed. “We’re even!” Parker watched as Sydney folded his arms and a small satisfied smile appeared on his face. She then realized what she had said.
”That’s the point!” He said. “We both have the same chances if we try to trust each other and… try to do something with the fact, that you are my daughter.” He said it as it was the most natural thing on earth. It felt odd. This was the very first time when it was said aloud. Parker’s eyes went wide for a second before she turned away. She was having her dilemma. Sydney knew it was time to push her. “All I’m asking is, just a few days… you and me, staying here. Alone. With clear heads, a safe environment with NO one around! Let me prove that you can trust me!” After a short silence, he added. “Let me prove that I can trust you!”
She was reluctant, it was obvious. She had no idea what to do, no idea what to reply and Sydney felt it.
”You don’t have anything to lose, Parker. If it doesn’t turn out well, you can still turn around and walk away. Forever. If you decide like that, I’ll respect that!” He said. Parker slightly turned back. For the first time she noticed the worn-out face of Sydney. He obviously had no rest or a good night sleep for days. After staring into his eyes for a short while, she replied. But turned away first, avoiding the eye contact as she spoke.
”Three days!” She said firmly. “You get three days.”
”No. WE get three days!” He corrected.
”Call it whatever you want it!” She whispered. “I need to talk to Jarod.”
To be continued…
