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MANY MANY thanks to Dianne for beta-reading it for me! You are such a big help! Thanks really a lot!
To everyone who reviewed; I am very excited that you keep reading my story, even though it’s quite long. I kind of neglected for a long time but it won’t take that long to get all the remaining (5) chapters up here. Thanks for reading!
To everyone who reviewed; I am very excited that you keep reading my story, even though it’s quite long. I kind of neglected for a long time but it won’t take that long to get all the remaining (5) chapters up here. Thanks for reading!
“Maybe if you talked about it, you would feel better. If you let the problems pile up, it will never leave you alone or let you think clearly. That might cause stress and if it’s left unchecked it will just get worse. We all have…”
“Oh save it!” She cut him off, turning to face him abruptly. “The always smart, always right Dr. Freud. Aren’t your bored of it, because I am.”
She indeed was different, Sydney thought, the fire in her eyes was unmistakable. Folding his arms in front of his chest, he raised his head. The old man just stared into her eyes for long moments. The moments became minutes and they just kept staring at each other. Then suddenly Sydney asked, “When did you regain your memories?”
Miss Parker raised her chin, folded her own arms and waited a few seconds before she replied. “Not long ago.” She said. After another short silence, Sydney’s brows furrowed and the calm aura seemed to slip away from around them. “You should have let me know immediately.”
As soon as Sydney spoke, Parker hit back. “Why Sydney, did you expect me to regain my memories, awake from the horrible dream, fall into your arms and apologize for my stubbornness?” She asked, despise evident in her eyes. “It’s not my job to apologize anyway.”
“And what should I apologize for, Parker?” The old man asked.
Parker first chuckled then let out a short laugh in disbelief. “You’re right, you have nothing to apologize for.” She stepped very close to him, looked straight into his eyes and growled. “Considering that you and I have nothing to do with each other.” With that, she stepped away.
But now that Sydney had the chance, he didn’t intend to let it go. “You can’t walk away, Parker!”
Suddenly she spun around. “You sure? Just watch!” She hissed.
“Miss Parker, you have to face the situation. We both have to.” Sydney said, admitting things to himself also. He took a step towards her.
“I have nothing to face, Sydney. People come and people go in my life. I’m used to it. I won’t be shattered if you leave too. You know what, I’m going to leave. Just as I planned.”
“That won’t solve anything.”
“I don’t even want to solve it, Sydney. I’m tired and I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of the Centre, their dirty secrets and their lies.” Giving him a look, she added, “Your lies!”
“What lies?” Sydney asked.
Parker got frustrated even more from his tone. He was acting as he usually did, like a good psychiatrist, making her the thoughtless one acting like a child, but she wasn’t a child. “What lies?” She repeated. Sydney knew he would soon face her anger, but at least he’d achieved his first goal. She was talking. “All these years, you were the only one in the Centre I thought was worth getting a second chance at a life. You know, Sydney, Jarod was right. I really need to see people for what they are, and at this moment, I’m seeing someone I don’t know.”
“Maybe because you don’t want to know. Parker, you don’t let anyone close except the people you shouldn’t.”
“Oh great, now you are telling me who I should or should not let close?”
“No, you…”
“Save the energy, Sydney, this train is gone. Go to the other one that might wait for you!”
Sydney’s brows furrowed. “And which one would that be?”
Parker chuckled again. “Jarod. Just like always.”
“We are not discussing Jarod here, Miss Parker.” He said. “We are discussing our own issue, he has nothing to do with it. Unless you…”
“Nice try, Syd, but don’t try to turn it on me.” She said. “I wasn’t the one fighting with his father over him.”
Sydney sighed, stepped closer and placed his hands on her upper arms. “Miss Parker, this is something that changes both of our lives. We have to face it; we have to TALK about it and come up with some solution. Together.”
Parker pushed his hands roughly away, but didn’t step away. “We are doing NOTHING together, Sydney. Keep that in mind.”
“This isn’t about only you anymore, Parker, don’t you see that?” He said more forcefully this time.
“You want me to talk?” She asked suddenly.
“As a start, yes.” Sydney watched as she took a deep breath, raised her chin and finally spoke.
“How could you?”
The old man didn’t reply immediately, instead he waited before he spoke. “I know it’s hard for you. It’s hard for me too, but I can’t change what happened, neither of us can, but we can control our future.” Sydney reached down and collecting all his inner strength, took her hand; holding it between them, he covered hers with both of his. “It’s about survival, Miss Parker. I know it’s not easy, especially for you, but if you want to accept and understand things… you will have to trust me.”
“This wasn’t the first time, Sydney.” She said. Sydney could see the struggle she put into keeping her anger in check. “You have lied to me before. I can understand why you didn’t tell me about your brother or about Gemini, they had nothing to do with me.” Suddenly she pulled her hand out of his grasp and went on with her teeth clenched.
“But you kept the truth about her death from me!” She said, struggling with herself. “Sydney, you lied about months!” Sydney could see tears in her eyes, tears caused by anger, sadness and most of all, pain. “All those years I was searching for the truth about her death! You knew how important she was to me and you left me in the dark, you watched for YEARS…” her voice was rising with each word and it was clear that she was losing control on her anger, “You watched for YEARS as I tried to dig up everything about her and how she died. And who was the one who knew ALL THE SECRETS? The very person who was by my side the entire time!”
“I know it’s painful for you. I’m sorry, but your mother asked me not to tell you. I had to respect her decision.”
“Respect?” She asked in disbelief. “And what made you keep your AFFAIR from me?” Sydney didn’t reply this time, instead, he just folded his arms again and hung his head. But Parker didn’t intend to let go of it. “Don’t you see, Sydney, you kept something from me that concerns me the MOST! You. Had. An. Affair.” She said angrily.
“I didn’t know you were my daughter!” He finally replied with almost the same enthusiasm as Parker. For a moment, they both remained silent, letting the statement sink in. It was the first time one of them had said it out loud. “What your mother and I had wasn’t just an affair, Parker. I had no clue that you were MY daughter!”
“It’s not about that, Sydney!” She shouted. “It’s about the mere fact that the two of you had anything to do with each other. I had the right to know, she was my MOTHER!” Before Sydney could reply, Parker went on. “Or is it just the fact that you didn’t want to remember your time together. You just didn’t want to remember your little affair, didn’t want to remember that you took advantage of her just like so many others. You seemed to forget her quite quickly anyway. Was it just about your survival, Sydney? Just like always?” She asked. She knew that her words hurt him, but she didn’t care, she wanted to hurt him, wanted him to feel the same pain she was feeling.
And hurt she did, it was obvious from the way his head suddenly snapped up. “You know nothing about my feelings, Parker, you are confusing me with Mr. Parker! I’m not the one sacrificing anything or anyone! What your mother and I had was never about survival! It was about true feelings.”
With each word, Parker became more and more frustrated. She knew she should calm down, but there was something that was bugging her. As it turned out, Sydney knew a lot more about her mother than she did. HE was given a lot more time with her than she, and it made her jealous. She was her daughter, she missed her… and she needed her so much more than he did. “True feelings.” She repeated. “As if that was ever possible in the Centre.”
“We both believed it was. Parker, it was something that I would never throw away. I know you think I don’t value her or what we had just because I never told you. Your mother was a wonderful person. You are angry because she cheated on Mr. Parker, but there are parts of her that you won’t understand because you never got to know those parts. It was a true relationship.”
Parker’s head angrily snapped up at that word. “Don’t make it sound so fancy with that word, Sydney. Let’s face facts, you just liked screwing her!”
Parker never expected what happened next. The sound of his hand slapping the skin of her cheek was the first thing she grasped. It was loud. Parker grabbed her cheek and lifted her eyes to look at Sydney. The old man closed his eyes for a second, let out a sigh then looked back at her. His eyes became different and he raised a hand to gently touch her. Parker knew what he wanted to say; even his eyes were shouting ‘I’m sorry’, but before he could place his hand on her shoulder, she pushed it away as roughly as she could. She took a step back, held his gaze with a stare full of hatred then turned around. That was when they both noticed Jarod standing there. He just stared at them without moving, without talking, without blinking. He looked at Parker, but no words came out of his mouth.
“Parker,” Sydney called after her.
Miss Parker let go of her cheek, showing him the redness she could feel there. Looking Sydney in the eyes and making sure her words entered his heart, she spoke. “I tried, God knows over the years I tried, but I can’t trust you, Sydney. Never could, never will and it was you who proved it. The fact is I don’t even want to!” With that, she turned, stepped into the bathroom and slammed the door.
The two men stood in silence as the water began to run inside the bathroom. Jarod felt awkward, he hadn’t meant to interrupt or interfere, which, as it turned out he hadn’t. He’d just witnessed something that he hadn’t wanted to. He looked at his mentor and for the first time in days, he could see the stress, anger and pain on his face.
Sydney finally moved. He was on his way out when he stopped to talk to his protégé. “Did you hear everything?” He asked.
“No, I just… I just heard the shouting and I thought she was being hotheaded again. I only heard the end.” He let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
Sydney patted him on the shoulder and left.
Upstairs
Sydney’s room
11:45 pm
Sydney decided to go to bed. It was late and he was tired, both mentally and physically. It had been a tough day with unexpected changes. Miss Parker was back and now he had the chance to turn everything right. Maybe their conversation would have ended differently if he had known that sooner, if he’d had time to prepare and collect his thoughts. If he’d - if they’d both had the strength to talk clearly and admit what they both were feeling. He himself was sure about his own feelings and emotions, but he didn’t know about Parker and as long as he didn’t have the slightest clue, he couldn’t risk giving himself away.
He figured it was better to face her with a clear head, with this thoughts collected. They would be leaving soon; in fact, they were scheduled to have a meeting about it in the morning. He couldn’t let Parker go alone because if she left on her own, they would never solve their problem. And anyway, it wasn’t about their problem anymore. It was about facts, connections, feelings and relationships. He had a son who was fine enough without him and no matter how much it hurt him, he had to admit that Nicholas had a life of his own, without him being a part of it. In fact, Sydney knew his presence would just endanger the young man.
Parker, however, was different. She was a different ‘player’ in the Centre’s eyes; their involvement with each other didn’t change anything from the Centre’s point of view. And Sydney knew… she was not like Nicholas; she was tough, she was strong and the ultimate survivor, but she was not heartless. In fact, her passion to hate came from the same hurt and emotions that made her capable of loving. And the old man knew he couldn’t leave her alone. He couldn’t and why should he? He had always tried to protect her as much as he could; now he had a reason. After all, she was his daughter.
Unknown Place
Upstairs – Miss Parker’s room
11:50 pm
Parker stood at the window, staring through the glass out into the darkness. The whole room was in darkness; the only light that made things visible was the one coming in from the street. Everything was so silent and so calm, while she felt as if a storm was mixing up her insides, starting with her feelings.
She remembered exactly what had happened. More than 6 years ago Jarod had escaped, stealing the key to the underworld. With that, hell’s gates had opened and the power coming from that place seemed to draw her in no matter how hard she tried to escape. She remembered what she’d once said to Jarod.
“I won’t chase my past anymore.”
“What if it chases you?”
“I’ll ignore it.”
For a moment, she became uncertain about all the revelations in the last few years. Were they all worth it? She’d lost everything that she had, the illusion-like world where she’d lived up to that point had broken into a million pieces and when the so well-painted picture disappeared, there was nothing left but darkness. And now she’d reached a point where she could only find the light in the darkness by holding on to the things that promised her positive things… that promised her a future without losing anyone again.
All her life, she’d sought the love, the affection and the appreciation of one man - a man who was nobody to her. Her father turned out to be a stranger and a stranger turned out to be her father, a stranger who was closer to her than anyone, including him, could imagine. All she needed to do was let him know. The only problem was… she wasn’t sure if it was worth it. Was it worth it to seek for the love of a person who loved someone else more than her? Or did he love her at all.
Parker was confused. She was struggling with herself about a man, who in fact, might not feel anything else about her except the need to help someone who needed help. Someone who needed help from him as a psychiatrist and not something entirely different. She was standing at the window alone, trying to find a way out of her own lost world when a light appeared behind her for a short second before it faded into darkness again.
The footsteps were quiet, but she could still hear them. She felt the warmth of his body behind her and she closed her eyes for a brief second. She watched from the corner of her eye as he placed his palm on the glass of the window and felt him lean his forehead against the back of her head. He slipped his free arm around her waist, pulling her close. He waited a few seconds to see if she was going to protest or push him away, but she just relaxed, covered his hand with her own and stood in silence.
“I thought…” He whispered but stopped.
“I know.” She replied and turned around. It was dark and Jarod couldn’t see her face, he just felt her. Reaching up with his hand, he gently touched her face. She didn’t pull away and Jarod knew things had changed and he didn’t care, they had both waited and wasted so much time. Jarod was happy that he could finally get this close to her, that he could finally touch her without getting a bullet in his head.
He slid his arms around her waist again and bent his head down. Although he couldn’t see her, he touched his cheek against hers. He rubbed his cheek against hers, wanting to get lost in the sensitive touch. Her skin against his was so warm, so soft… so Parker. When he felt her turn and place a palm on his chest, he noted with relief that he was going to get no rejection tonight.
Jarod gently lifted her face. He had no clue what expression she had, the darkness didn’t give away anything, but he didn’t need to see it. He bent his head down and when their lips touched, all he could feel was her heat. The feather like touch of their lips slowly became a more intense and serious kiss, as they got lost in the feeling of each other.
He didn’t exactly know how they got to the bed, but he knew for sure that Parker was sleeping next to him, the light coming in from the outside illuminating the skin of her long neck. He did remember how half an hour ago he’d kissed that so graceful part of her. He remembered her nails digging into his flesh as she moaned and groaned while he sweated above her. Jarod had no clue how, since there was barely any light, but she’d managed to avoid his wounds and managed to avoid causing physical pain. Instead, she’d scratched his chest and it had just increased his own pleasure.
The way she wrapped her right leg around his waist, urging him to move faster and deeper, drove him crazy. Now they were lying next to each other with Parker sound asleep. A few hours ago he was worried that he was never going to experience this incredible feeling again, but at that moment, as he lazily observed her sleeping form, he knew that times had changed and what was hiding underneath, yet so close to the surface, had finally popped up.
He knew there were things in which she was unpredictable, but the way she’d embraced him not so long ago made him sure that he didn’t have to worry about the next morning. He couldn’t resist and reached out a hand to touch her alluring skin and she turned her head to look at him. It didn’t stop him from gently running a hand down along her neck until he reached the edge of the sheets. Parker raised her hand too and nibbling at his chin, she whispered. “I don’t want to have another person killed in my life, Jarod.”
“I won’t leave you. I don’t give a damn about anyone who might not want us together. They are not here to control our lives anymore, Parker.”
“I know.” She replied. “I can’t guarantee anything.”
“I’m a grown man, Parker. I never say things I don’t feel and I’m not planning to blow the chance I’ve finally got.” Parker didn’t reply, instead she ran a finger along his jaw-line. Taking her hand, Jarod gently placed a kiss on it. “Come with me.”
“With your family?” She asked and this time it wasn’t a whisper.
The pretender expected the question and even though he knew she couldn’t see it, he smiled. “No. With me.”
“Isn’t it the same?” Her tone changed back to a whisper and Jarod knew she was considering it.
“No, it’s not. My family is where I came from. My family… my not yet complete family is something I love and is important to me, but they have nothing to do with what I am today.” He kissed the back of her hand again before he added. “I want you with me.”
Parker knew that his family might have issues with this suggestion. They weren’t hostile with her, surprisingly she hadn’t gotten any insult from them, except for the redhead, but she didn’t give a damn. Truth be told, she didn’t care what his family had to say either. No one was telling her what do anymore. The only person who was able to control her was dead. It was time for a fresh start. A fresh start that might lead into disappointment, but even if it did she would have only herself to blame, because it would be her decision. Also, the fact that Jarod seemed determined made her sure that he was ready to stick up for her against whoever he needed to. After a few seconds of silence, she whispered. “I can’t promise it will work.”
“You don’t have to promise.” Jarod nodded before he replied in the same tone. “You just have to feel.” He didn’t know if she intended to reply or not, but he didn’t care. He bent his head and kissed her.
Unknown place
6:50 am – Wednesday
Upstairs
The morning didn’t seem any more unusual than the previous one except one tiny little difference… everything had changed. Sydney decided to get a cup of coffee before their meeting. He emerged from his room and was on his way to the stairs when the door to Parker’s room opened. For a moment Sydney thought he was going to face her unprepared, but to his surprise, the person stepping out of the room wasn’t Miss Parker, it was Jarod. Sydney stopped and watched as the young man closed the door.
If Sydney ever had the thought that his protégé was visiting very early, it all disappeared when he noticed that Jarod wasn’t wearing his shirt, he was holding it in his hand. As he let go of the knob and was about to go into his own room, Sydney cleared his throat.
Jarod jerked his head to the direction of his mentor and froze for a moment. For some strange reason he felt as if he had been caught in the middle of doing something wrong. He just stared at Sydney speechless for a few moments. When the older man didn’t say anything, he spoke. “Good Morning.”
“Good Morning to you too, Jarod.” He said. “Slept well?”
“I, um… yes.” For a moment, Jarod thought Sydney was going to have a comment about what had obviously happened, but he didn’t say anything.
“I was just on my way to the kitchen for some coffee. I need it before the meeting.”
“Oh yeah, the meeting.” Jarod said. He looked down at his shirt before he looked back up at his mentor. “Look, Sydney, what happened last night…”
”Is your business, yours and Parker’s. I have no say in it.” Sydney cut him off. “And no problem with it.” He added and Jarod nodded in response. “I will see you downstairs.”
Sydney was about to leave when Jarod called after him. “Sydney!” The old man turned back. “If you want to talk to her…”
“Don’t worry, Jarod, I will find the time for it.”
“I asked her to come with me.” Before Sydney could reply, he went on. “I know it may seem selfish, but I didn’t intend to take away your chance for anything because I wanted to ask the same of you.” He said, stepping closer. “There’s nothing in the Centre, or here, for you anymore. Come with me.” Sydney just stared at him for a few seconds without moving. Jarod decided to wait, Sydney was obviously thinking and considering his suggestion.
“Thank you for the invitation, Jarod. I have nowhere to go, so I might take your offer. But first I have to solve a few issues.”
Jarod nodded. “Understandable.” He said. “Any idea how you are going to solve it?”
Sydney looked him in the eyes and replied with a sad smile on his face. “Yes, I think so. Let’s just hope it will work.”
“Sydney, are you alright? You seem exhausted.” Jarod said, noticing the tired look on his mentor’s face.
“Yes, I am, I just didn’t sleep much last night. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” He said and this time he did turn around and walked away.
With a sigh and a relieved feeling, Jarod opened the door to his own room.
Unknown Place
7:30 am
Downstairs
Sydney sat on the couch, trying to pay attention to Broots’ babble. He really liked the tech; in fact, he was a true friend, but at the moment, when his head was pounding from the lack of sleep, he couldn’t find a way to keep his attention focused on him. Every two minutes, he found himself thinking about possibilities of how to go on.
Jarod had made the offer for him to join him, but he was sure his protégé hadn’t told Parker and he didn’t know if she would still want to go with Jarod if she knew that the young man had invited him too. But there was no use making a dilemma about this because Sydney knew they’d either solve it or not. If they did, there was no problem with him joining them –for a while at least, if they did not, he wouldn’t go with them.
There was something he couldn’t quite imagine though… Parker and Jarod’s family, but that wasn’t worth the bother either. If Jarod thought he could solve it then he could, after all, he was special. Sydney realized his thoughts were elsewhere again and already felt sorry for Broots for the lack of interest when something grabbed his attention. Major Charles came in, put a box on the table and opened it. When he placed a cell-phone on the table, Sydney spoke; “Whose phone is that?”
“Mine.” Jarod replied as he strode into the room.
“We threw everything into the car when we left from Ben’s Inn and it was among them.” The Major explained.
“Oh.” Sydney said.
“We also got a new one while we were in the city yesterday.”
“And I will make the line secure.” Jarod said.
“So if we separate, we can safely keep in contact, right?” Broots asked.
“Yes.” Jarod said, but he was visibly busy. After looking around for a few seconds, he left.
Broots turned to Sydney to go on with his story, but his old friend stood up. “I’m sorry, Broots, we’ll have to finish this later. I have something to do.” He said and with that, he left. Broots just looked at the Major who shrugged before he got back to the items in the box.
To Be Continued…
“Oh save it!” She cut him off, turning to face him abruptly. “The always smart, always right Dr. Freud. Aren’t your bored of it, because I am.”
She indeed was different, Sydney thought, the fire in her eyes was unmistakable. Folding his arms in front of his chest, he raised his head. The old man just stared into her eyes for long moments. The moments became minutes and they just kept staring at each other. Then suddenly Sydney asked, “When did you regain your memories?”
Miss Parker raised her chin, folded her own arms and waited a few seconds before she replied. “Not long ago.” She said. After another short silence, Sydney’s brows furrowed and the calm aura seemed to slip away from around them. “You should have let me know immediately.”
As soon as Sydney spoke, Parker hit back. “Why Sydney, did you expect me to regain my memories, awake from the horrible dream, fall into your arms and apologize for my stubbornness?” She asked, despise evident in her eyes. “It’s not my job to apologize anyway.”
“And what should I apologize for, Parker?” The old man asked.
Parker first chuckled then let out a short laugh in disbelief. “You’re right, you have nothing to apologize for.” She stepped very close to him, looked straight into his eyes and growled. “Considering that you and I have nothing to do with each other.” With that, she stepped away.
But now that Sydney had the chance, he didn’t intend to let it go. “You can’t walk away, Parker!”
Suddenly she spun around. “You sure? Just watch!” She hissed.
“Miss Parker, you have to face the situation. We both have to.” Sydney said, admitting things to himself also. He took a step towards her.
“I have nothing to face, Sydney. People come and people go in my life. I’m used to it. I won’t be shattered if you leave too. You know what, I’m going to leave. Just as I planned.”
“That won’t solve anything.”
“I don’t even want to solve it, Sydney. I’m tired and I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of the Centre, their dirty secrets and their lies.” Giving him a look, she added, “Your lies!”
“What lies?” Sydney asked.
Parker got frustrated even more from his tone. He was acting as he usually did, like a good psychiatrist, making her the thoughtless one acting like a child, but she wasn’t a child. “What lies?” She repeated. Sydney knew he would soon face her anger, but at least he’d achieved his first goal. She was talking. “All these years, you were the only one in the Centre I thought was worth getting a second chance at a life. You know, Sydney, Jarod was right. I really need to see people for what they are, and at this moment, I’m seeing someone I don’t know.”
“Maybe because you don’t want to know. Parker, you don’t let anyone close except the people you shouldn’t.”
“Oh great, now you are telling me who I should or should not let close?”
“No, you…”
“Save the energy, Sydney, this train is gone. Go to the other one that might wait for you!”
Sydney’s brows furrowed. “And which one would that be?”
Parker chuckled again. “Jarod. Just like always.”
“We are not discussing Jarod here, Miss Parker.” He said. “We are discussing our own issue, he has nothing to do with it. Unless you…”
“Nice try, Syd, but don’t try to turn it on me.” She said. “I wasn’t the one fighting with his father over him.”
Sydney sighed, stepped closer and placed his hands on her upper arms. “Miss Parker, this is something that changes both of our lives. We have to face it; we have to TALK about it and come up with some solution. Together.”
Parker pushed his hands roughly away, but didn’t step away. “We are doing NOTHING together, Sydney. Keep that in mind.”
“This isn’t about only you anymore, Parker, don’t you see that?” He said more forcefully this time.
“You want me to talk?” She asked suddenly.
“As a start, yes.” Sydney watched as she took a deep breath, raised her chin and finally spoke.
“How could you?”
The old man didn’t reply immediately, instead he waited before he spoke. “I know it’s hard for you. It’s hard for me too, but I can’t change what happened, neither of us can, but we can control our future.” Sydney reached down and collecting all his inner strength, took her hand; holding it between them, he covered hers with both of his. “It’s about survival, Miss Parker. I know it’s not easy, especially for you, but if you want to accept and understand things… you will have to trust me.”
“This wasn’t the first time, Sydney.” She said. Sydney could see the struggle she put into keeping her anger in check. “You have lied to me before. I can understand why you didn’t tell me about your brother or about Gemini, they had nothing to do with me.” Suddenly she pulled her hand out of his grasp and went on with her teeth clenched.
“But you kept the truth about her death from me!” She said, struggling with herself. “Sydney, you lied about months!” Sydney could see tears in her eyes, tears caused by anger, sadness and most of all, pain. “All those years I was searching for the truth about her death! You knew how important she was to me and you left me in the dark, you watched for YEARS…” her voice was rising with each word and it was clear that she was losing control on her anger, “You watched for YEARS as I tried to dig up everything about her and how she died. And who was the one who knew ALL THE SECRETS? The very person who was by my side the entire time!”
“I know it’s painful for you. I’m sorry, but your mother asked me not to tell you. I had to respect her decision.”
“Respect?” She asked in disbelief. “And what made you keep your AFFAIR from me?” Sydney didn’t reply this time, instead, he just folded his arms again and hung his head. But Parker didn’t intend to let go of it. “Don’t you see, Sydney, you kept something from me that concerns me the MOST! You. Had. An. Affair.” She said angrily.
“I didn’t know you were my daughter!” He finally replied with almost the same enthusiasm as Parker. For a moment, they both remained silent, letting the statement sink in. It was the first time one of them had said it out loud. “What your mother and I had wasn’t just an affair, Parker. I had no clue that you were MY daughter!”
“It’s not about that, Sydney!” She shouted. “It’s about the mere fact that the two of you had anything to do with each other. I had the right to know, she was my MOTHER!” Before Sydney could reply, Parker went on. “Or is it just the fact that you didn’t want to remember your time together. You just didn’t want to remember your little affair, didn’t want to remember that you took advantage of her just like so many others. You seemed to forget her quite quickly anyway. Was it just about your survival, Sydney? Just like always?” She asked. She knew that her words hurt him, but she didn’t care, she wanted to hurt him, wanted him to feel the same pain she was feeling.
And hurt she did, it was obvious from the way his head suddenly snapped up. “You know nothing about my feelings, Parker, you are confusing me with Mr. Parker! I’m not the one sacrificing anything or anyone! What your mother and I had was never about survival! It was about true feelings.”
With each word, Parker became more and more frustrated. She knew she should calm down, but there was something that was bugging her. As it turned out, Sydney knew a lot more about her mother than she did. HE was given a lot more time with her than she, and it made her jealous. She was her daughter, she missed her… and she needed her so much more than he did. “True feelings.” She repeated. “As if that was ever possible in the Centre.”
“We both believed it was. Parker, it was something that I would never throw away. I know you think I don’t value her or what we had just because I never told you. Your mother was a wonderful person. You are angry because she cheated on Mr. Parker, but there are parts of her that you won’t understand because you never got to know those parts. It was a true relationship.”
Parker’s head angrily snapped up at that word. “Don’t make it sound so fancy with that word, Sydney. Let’s face facts, you just liked screwing her!”
Parker never expected what happened next. The sound of his hand slapping the skin of her cheek was the first thing she grasped. It was loud. Parker grabbed her cheek and lifted her eyes to look at Sydney. The old man closed his eyes for a second, let out a sigh then looked back at her. His eyes became different and he raised a hand to gently touch her. Parker knew what he wanted to say; even his eyes were shouting ‘I’m sorry’, but before he could place his hand on her shoulder, she pushed it away as roughly as she could. She took a step back, held his gaze with a stare full of hatred then turned around. That was when they both noticed Jarod standing there. He just stared at them without moving, without talking, without blinking. He looked at Parker, but no words came out of his mouth.
“Parker,” Sydney called after her.
Miss Parker let go of her cheek, showing him the redness she could feel there. Looking Sydney in the eyes and making sure her words entered his heart, she spoke. “I tried, God knows over the years I tried, but I can’t trust you, Sydney. Never could, never will and it was you who proved it. The fact is I don’t even want to!” With that, she turned, stepped into the bathroom and slammed the door.
The two men stood in silence as the water began to run inside the bathroom. Jarod felt awkward, he hadn’t meant to interrupt or interfere, which, as it turned out he hadn’t. He’d just witnessed something that he hadn’t wanted to. He looked at his mentor and for the first time in days, he could see the stress, anger and pain on his face.
Sydney finally moved. He was on his way out when he stopped to talk to his protégé. “Did you hear everything?” He asked.
“No, I just… I just heard the shouting and I thought she was being hotheaded again. I only heard the end.” He let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
Sydney patted him on the shoulder and left.
Upstairs
Sydney’s room
11:45 pm
Sydney decided to go to bed. It was late and he was tired, both mentally and physically. It had been a tough day with unexpected changes. Miss Parker was back and now he had the chance to turn everything right. Maybe their conversation would have ended differently if he had known that sooner, if he’d had time to prepare and collect his thoughts. If he’d - if they’d both had the strength to talk clearly and admit what they both were feeling. He himself was sure about his own feelings and emotions, but he didn’t know about Parker and as long as he didn’t have the slightest clue, he couldn’t risk giving himself away.
He figured it was better to face her with a clear head, with this thoughts collected. They would be leaving soon; in fact, they were scheduled to have a meeting about it in the morning. He couldn’t let Parker go alone because if she left on her own, they would never solve their problem. And anyway, it wasn’t about their problem anymore. It was about facts, connections, feelings and relationships. He had a son who was fine enough without him and no matter how much it hurt him, he had to admit that Nicholas had a life of his own, without him being a part of it. In fact, Sydney knew his presence would just endanger the young man.
Parker, however, was different. She was a different ‘player’ in the Centre’s eyes; their involvement with each other didn’t change anything from the Centre’s point of view. And Sydney knew… she was not like Nicholas; she was tough, she was strong and the ultimate survivor, but she was not heartless. In fact, her passion to hate came from the same hurt and emotions that made her capable of loving. And the old man knew he couldn’t leave her alone. He couldn’t and why should he? He had always tried to protect her as much as he could; now he had a reason. After all, she was his daughter.
Unknown Place
Upstairs – Miss Parker’s room
11:50 pm
Parker stood at the window, staring through the glass out into the darkness. The whole room was in darkness; the only light that made things visible was the one coming in from the street. Everything was so silent and so calm, while she felt as if a storm was mixing up her insides, starting with her feelings.
She remembered exactly what had happened. More than 6 years ago Jarod had escaped, stealing the key to the underworld. With that, hell’s gates had opened and the power coming from that place seemed to draw her in no matter how hard she tried to escape. She remembered what she’d once said to Jarod.
“I won’t chase my past anymore.”
“What if it chases you?”
“I’ll ignore it.”
For a moment, she became uncertain about all the revelations in the last few years. Were they all worth it? She’d lost everything that she had, the illusion-like world where she’d lived up to that point had broken into a million pieces and when the so well-painted picture disappeared, there was nothing left but darkness. And now she’d reached a point where she could only find the light in the darkness by holding on to the things that promised her positive things… that promised her a future without losing anyone again.
All her life, she’d sought the love, the affection and the appreciation of one man - a man who was nobody to her. Her father turned out to be a stranger and a stranger turned out to be her father, a stranger who was closer to her than anyone, including him, could imagine. All she needed to do was let him know. The only problem was… she wasn’t sure if it was worth it. Was it worth it to seek for the love of a person who loved someone else more than her? Or did he love her at all.
Parker was confused. She was struggling with herself about a man, who in fact, might not feel anything else about her except the need to help someone who needed help. Someone who needed help from him as a psychiatrist and not something entirely different. She was standing at the window alone, trying to find a way out of her own lost world when a light appeared behind her for a short second before it faded into darkness again.
The footsteps were quiet, but she could still hear them. She felt the warmth of his body behind her and she closed her eyes for a brief second. She watched from the corner of her eye as he placed his palm on the glass of the window and felt him lean his forehead against the back of her head. He slipped his free arm around her waist, pulling her close. He waited a few seconds to see if she was going to protest or push him away, but she just relaxed, covered his hand with her own and stood in silence.
“I thought…” He whispered but stopped.
“I know.” She replied and turned around. It was dark and Jarod couldn’t see her face, he just felt her. Reaching up with his hand, he gently touched her face. She didn’t pull away and Jarod knew things had changed and he didn’t care, they had both waited and wasted so much time. Jarod was happy that he could finally get this close to her, that he could finally touch her without getting a bullet in his head.
He slid his arms around her waist again and bent his head down. Although he couldn’t see her, he touched his cheek against hers. He rubbed his cheek against hers, wanting to get lost in the sensitive touch. Her skin against his was so warm, so soft… so Parker. When he felt her turn and place a palm on his chest, he noted with relief that he was going to get no rejection tonight.
Jarod gently lifted her face. He had no clue what expression she had, the darkness didn’t give away anything, but he didn’t need to see it. He bent his head down and when their lips touched, all he could feel was her heat. The feather like touch of their lips slowly became a more intense and serious kiss, as they got lost in the feeling of each other.
He didn’t exactly know how they got to the bed, but he knew for sure that Parker was sleeping next to him, the light coming in from the outside illuminating the skin of her long neck. He did remember how half an hour ago he’d kissed that so graceful part of her. He remembered her nails digging into his flesh as she moaned and groaned while he sweated above her. Jarod had no clue how, since there was barely any light, but she’d managed to avoid his wounds and managed to avoid causing physical pain. Instead, she’d scratched his chest and it had just increased his own pleasure.
The way she wrapped her right leg around his waist, urging him to move faster and deeper, drove him crazy. Now they were lying next to each other with Parker sound asleep. A few hours ago he was worried that he was never going to experience this incredible feeling again, but at that moment, as he lazily observed her sleeping form, he knew that times had changed and what was hiding underneath, yet so close to the surface, had finally popped up.
He knew there were things in which she was unpredictable, but the way she’d embraced him not so long ago made him sure that he didn’t have to worry about the next morning. He couldn’t resist and reached out a hand to touch her alluring skin and she turned her head to look at him. It didn’t stop him from gently running a hand down along her neck until he reached the edge of the sheets. Parker raised her hand too and nibbling at his chin, she whispered. “I don’t want to have another person killed in my life, Jarod.”
“I won’t leave you. I don’t give a damn about anyone who might not want us together. They are not here to control our lives anymore, Parker.”
“I know.” She replied. “I can’t guarantee anything.”
“I’m a grown man, Parker. I never say things I don’t feel and I’m not planning to blow the chance I’ve finally got.” Parker didn’t reply, instead she ran a finger along his jaw-line. Taking her hand, Jarod gently placed a kiss on it. “Come with me.”
“With your family?” She asked and this time it wasn’t a whisper.
The pretender expected the question and even though he knew she couldn’t see it, he smiled. “No. With me.”
“Isn’t it the same?” Her tone changed back to a whisper and Jarod knew she was considering it.
“No, it’s not. My family is where I came from. My family… my not yet complete family is something I love and is important to me, but they have nothing to do with what I am today.” He kissed the back of her hand again before he added. “I want you with me.”
Parker knew that his family might have issues with this suggestion. They weren’t hostile with her, surprisingly she hadn’t gotten any insult from them, except for the redhead, but she didn’t give a damn. Truth be told, she didn’t care what his family had to say either. No one was telling her what do anymore. The only person who was able to control her was dead. It was time for a fresh start. A fresh start that might lead into disappointment, but even if it did she would have only herself to blame, because it would be her decision. Also, the fact that Jarod seemed determined made her sure that he was ready to stick up for her against whoever he needed to. After a few seconds of silence, she whispered. “I can’t promise it will work.”
“You don’t have to promise.” Jarod nodded before he replied in the same tone. “You just have to feel.” He didn’t know if she intended to reply or not, but he didn’t care. He bent his head and kissed her.
Unknown place
6:50 am – Wednesday
Upstairs
The morning didn’t seem any more unusual than the previous one except one tiny little difference… everything had changed. Sydney decided to get a cup of coffee before their meeting. He emerged from his room and was on his way to the stairs when the door to Parker’s room opened. For a moment Sydney thought he was going to face her unprepared, but to his surprise, the person stepping out of the room wasn’t Miss Parker, it was Jarod. Sydney stopped and watched as the young man closed the door.
If Sydney ever had the thought that his protégé was visiting very early, it all disappeared when he noticed that Jarod wasn’t wearing his shirt, he was holding it in his hand. As he let go of the knob and was about to go into his own room, Sydney cleared his throat.
Jarod jerked his head to the direction of his mentor and froze for a moment. For some strange reason he felt as if he had been caught in the middle of doing something wrong. He just stared at Sydney speechless for a few moments. When the older man didn’t say anything, he spoke. “Good Morning.”
“Good Morning to you too, Jarod.” He said. “Slept well?”
“I, um… yes.” For a moment, Jarod thought Sydney was going to have a comment about what had obviously happened, but he didn’t say anything.
“I was just on my way to the kitchen for some coffee. I need it before the meeting.”
“Oh yeah, the meeting.” Jarod said. He looked down at his shirt before he looked back up at his mentor. “Look, Sydney, what happened last night…”
”Is your business, yours and Parker’s. I have no say in it.” Sydney cut him off. “And no problem with it.” He added and Jarod nodded in response. “I will see you downstairs.”
Sydney was about to leave when Jarod called after him. “Sydney!” The old man turned back. “If you want to talk to her…”
“Don’t worry, Jarod, I will find the time for it.”
“I asked her to come with me.” Before Sydney could reply, he went on. “I know it may seem selfish, but I didn’t intend to take away your chance for anything because I wanted to ask the same of you.” He said, stepping closer. “There’s nothing in the Centre, or here, for you anymore. Come with me.” Sydney just stared at him for a few seconds without moving. Jarod decided to wait, Sydney was obviously thinking and considering his suggestion.
“Thank you for the invitation, Jarod. I have nowhere to go, so I might take your offer. But first I have to solve a few issues.”
Jarod nodded. “Understandable.” He said. “Any idea how you are going to solve it?”
Sydney looked him in the eyes and replied with a sad smile on his face. “Yes, I think so. Let’s just hope it will work.”
“Sydney, are you alright? You seem exhausted.” Jarod said, noticing the tired look on his mentor’s face.
“Yes, I am, I just didn’t sleep much last night. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” He said and this time he did turn around and walked away.
With a sigh and a relieved feeling, Jarod opened the door to his own room.
Unknown Place
7:30 am
Downstairs
Sydney sat on the couch, trying to pay attention to Broots’ babble. He really liked the tech; in fact, he was a true friend, but at the moment, when his head was pounding from the lack of sleep, he couldn’t find a way to keep his attention focused on him. Every two minutes, he found himself thinking about possibilities of how to go on.
Jarod had made the offer for him to join him, but he was sure his protégé hadn’t told Parker and he didn’t know if she would still want to go with Jarod if she knew that the young man had invited him too. But there was no use making a dilemma about this because Sydney knew they’d either solve it or not. If they did, there was no problem with him joining them –for a while at least, if they did not, he wouldn’t go with them.
There was something he couldn’t quite imagine though… Parker and Jarod’s family, but that wasn’t worth the bother either. If Jarod thought he could solve it then he could, after all, he was special. Sydney realized his thoughts were elsewhere again and already felt sorry for Broots for the lack of interest when something grabbed his attention. Major Charles came in, put a box on the table and opened it. When he placed a cell-phone on the table, Sydney spoke; “Whose phone is that?”
“Mine.” Jarod replied as he strode into the room.
“We threw everything into the car when we left from Ben’s Inn and it was among them.” The Major explained.
“Oh.” Sydney said.
“We also got a new one while we were in the city yesterday.”
“And I will make the line secure.” Jarod said.
“So if we separate, we can safely keep in contact, right?” Broots asked.
“Yes.” Jarod said, but he was visibly busy. After looking around for a few seconds, he left.
Broots turned to Sydney to go on with his story, but his old friend stood up. “I’m sorry, Broots, we’ll have to finish this later. I have something to do.” He said and with that, he left. Broots just looked at the Major who shrugged before he got back to the items in the box.
To Be Continued…
