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Chapter or StoryAuthor's Chapter Notes:
MANY MANY thanks to Dianne for beta-reading it for me! You are such a big help! Thanks really a lot!
Inside the room, the Major turned back to Parker, but instead of going back in, he stopped and put his hands into his pocket, staring at her.
Parker spotted his gaze and raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“You took advantage of me.” He said.
“It happens. Life’s cruel.” Came her short reply. “I don’t think you’ll be surprised if I don’t beg for your forgiveness.”
“Ah no, Miss Parker, I never expected that.” She kept taking small sips from the tea and didn’t seem to pay too much attention. “I know you don’t give a damn about anything I told you, but you know… human nature… sometimes the best cure is to let it all out… even if the person we tell is a stranger to us.”
“Save the babble, Major. I pay attention to everything and then I decide if that information is useful or not. Most of yours belonged to the latter, but I found out some interesting stuff too.”
The Major let out a short laugh. His son was truthful and he admired that, but Miss Parker’s “honesty” was something entirely different. It seemed to be one of her best weapons - honestly telling people what she thought about them. Most people wouldn’t dare do it, but she had the wit and the tongue for it. Some people might have been hurt by her revelation, but he wasn’t. He had learnt to live in the kind of world where, unfortunately, the Centre made the rules and he had learnt to take a lot more than other, normal people could. “Are you feeling better?” He asked, changing the topic.
But Parker would not let him control their conversations either. “I’m disappointed in you, Major, I thought you would take advantage of the first chance you’ve gotten.”
“First chance? Of what?”
“Of getting your son back. He wanted to talk to you and what are you doing? Standing here, not being useful. You can do the same in his room and at least there you could talk.”
“My son is getting better, his physical condition seems better than yours. We will have time to talk. Now I think we should worry about your health.”
“Touching, but please don’t try to fool me.” The Major liked their interactions. It was incredible how she openly didn’t even give him a glance, but was still giving him responses that made it obvious to him that she knew a lot more about the situation than it seemed. That was due to the fact that she did pay attention indeed. “Do yourself a favor and go to him. You are dying for it. Don’t be a fool now when I’ve finally started to see some promise in you.”
“Oh, was that a compliment, Miss Parker?” The Major asked mockingly.
“Might be,” She said with a grin. “Take note of it, you’re never gonna get another one.”
The Major let out a short laugh before he shook his head and let out a sigh. Parker just rolled her eyes at the sight. He was obviously struggling with himself. He wanted to go. “Get out!”
“Are you sure you will be okay if I leave?”
“Major, your concern is touching, but it’s making me nauseous. Don’t worry, I’m a big girl, the room isn’t too big, I won’t get lost in a wardrobe.”
“Alright.” He said and turned to the door. Holding the handle, he stood for a short while, thinking and struggling with himself.
Parker knew what he wanted. He wanted to tell her thank you. Before he could collect all his strength, she spoke. “Don’t hurry back.” The Major turned back, shot her a small smile and left. Finally, Parker thought and leaned her head back, closing her eyes.
Unknown Place
Upstairs – Jarod’s room
2:04 pm
Jarod sat down on his bed and leaned back. His wounds hurt and even though he’d barely done anything, he felt exhausted. He knew it was due to Raines. Looking back on the process, he had to admit he didn’t know how he could hold on for so long. Just the thought of Raines woke an intense hatred in him that he had never felt before. He knew, their time would come soon; his time to pay back everything that wheezing ghoul -as Parker called him- had done to him, his brothers, his family and Sydney, and everything he’d done to Parker.
Parker… his mind couldn’t move on from that subject. He’d regained full consciousness a few days ago. Fact is fact, he was a pretender, he was a genius, he KNEW something was wrong. Sydney was behaving strangely and his father hadn’t come to visit, but he knew the reason for that. He slightly remembered sending him away and it was bugging him. He’d never meant to hurt him, he’d been looking for his father, for his family, for years and now when they were close, he didn’t want to push them away.
He was aware of the fact that Sydney and his father couldn’t find a common line. He knew what his father’s problem was, and while it was hurting him that his father felt rejected, it also made him feel relieved at the same time. The reason was simple. His father must have a reason for being jealous and it meant that Sydney did have feelings for him. He’d managed to get to know his father more or less and he knew he had his reasons for everything. So, if he was jealous of Sydney for their connection, then there was something to be envious of and this justified his wishes… his wishes that he was, in some ways, longing for. He now just had to find a way to make them both understand what they meant to him. His father was his father; no one and nothing could take away that FACT and bond and he loved him dearly, but Sydney was one of the two persons who had kept him alive and sane while he was in the Centre, and after he escaped. Without Sydney he would, most probably, have ended up like Kyle… or even worse.
How he was going to help them to solve their issues was, however, a mystery. Especially now when he, himself didn’t feel that he was capable of helping them. The events of this afternoon didn’t leave him time to consider the situation, but now that he was alone, he had the opportunity to look at this new turn. He didn’t feel the strength in himself to help others because he was suffering. He couldn’t or didn’t want to grasp it, but Parker didn’t remember. She didn’t remember their time together. When he looked into her eyes, he couldn’t see the passion that was there whenever he had the rare chance to be a part of that joy. Sometimes hatred, sometimes doubt and sometimes emotions… those were the things that he had seen in her eyes, but now they were all gone. Her eyes were full of confusion, lost, hurt and fear. She had no clue where she was and even though she seemed brave, feisty and dangerous, he knew what she felt. She was at the exact state where HE had been when he escaped from the Centre. But what was aching the most was his heart. Just days ago he’d thought he had finally managed to find the way straight to her deepest and most hidden feelings, it seemed a tough ride, but he was at the right road. And now it was gone. Damn Raines, damn the Centre and damn fate for giving her to him.
A soft knock on the wooden door interrupted his deep thoughts. He cleared his throat, sat up on the bed and said in a loud tone, “Come in.” Turning his head, he watched as his father slowly closed the door before he walked in and took a seat in the chair facing him.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” Jarod replied, giving him a half smile. For a short while, they sat in silence. Jarod tried to find the right words; he usually never had that kind of a problem, but at that moment, he didn’t know how to start. His father solved the problem when he chuckled.
“Something funny?” He asked confused. His father just looked at him with a warm expression on his face.
“The situation. The fact that we are sitting here, just like I imagined it so many times is funny.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Through all the years when I was hoping to find you, to talk to you, I imagined our meeting and first talk. I always thought we would probably just stand in front of each other in silence, neither of us knowing what to say, especially me. Then when we finally met, everything happened totally different. I know we didn’t have the time to stand in silence, we had to get out as soon as possible, but even afterwards, we managed to find an understanding between us. Just now, I recalled my thoughts. It’s happening NOW and it’s weird.”
“Dad, I’m sorry.”
“For what, son?”
“For making you feel rejected.” The Pretender said, standing up from his seat. “I never meant to make you feel unwanted or that I didn’t trust or need you. I was… I was just in a state where I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“It wasn’t your fault, son, I understand that, so don’t even start blaming yourself for something that you are not responsible for.” Major Charles moved closer to his son and put a hand on his shoulder, but Jarod just shook his head and turned away, lowering his head.
“No, Dad, you don’t understand.”
“I do, son, I see everything clearly.”
“No you don’t. Dad, I…” Taking a deep breath, he turned around and looked straight into his father’s eyes. “You need to know, you need to SEE something that is important for me. I know that you and Sydney have a problem.” Jarod watched as the Major’s brows furrowed and knew what he was thinking. “No, it’s not him that is making me say anything good about him. Sydney is someone who is not easy to understand. When I escaped from the Centre, I blamed him for so many things. I considered him one of them, but after some time I realized it’s a lot more complicated. The Centre itself is complicated. We could have considered Catherine Parker one of them. After all, she WAS working for them, but we think differently about her because she sacrificed herself for something she believed and even though she didn’t plan it that way, she intended to something good for me and the other children. Something that would have meant the world for us and a terrible loss for the Centre.”
“Son, you can’t tell me that Sydney is the same as her.” The Major started.
“Let me finish. Catherine Parker chose to work for the Centre. She was smart, intelligent, compassionate and a wonderful woman, but even for her, it took some time to realize what the Centre was doing. She was young, had a relationship that became a tight bond to the Centre, so she got involved. Sydney and Jacob were also young when they started to work for the Centre. A young ambitious psychiatrist, who, after losing his family during a terrible childhood in Dachau, got a job that he always wanted. Moreover, his ONLY family, his twin brother was working for them too. Sydney has always been the one who never asked questions instead, he tried to focus on his own stuff. Call him weak, call him a coward, but nobody is perfect. His brother lay in coma, Catherine Parker was dead and he had a child to work with. He got a lifetime job where he got too involved to quit. He had to choose; he either stayed at the Centre, remaining alive and trying to make the best for himself and his pretender genius, or he could have left, which would have probably resulted in him ending up dead and me being given to Raines. I know it’s not a reason, it’s not an excuse to forgive him for keeping me in the dark, for working for them and for being loyal to them. But through the years, hell decades, he was my only support to grow up as a sort of a human being instead of a 100 lab rat. Catherine Parker got to see things a lot sooner than Sydney did and she paid for it with her life. Sydney on the other hand was, I myself have to admit, one of the reasons the Centre never found me. He has so much pain in his own heart, so many issues in his own mind, along with a lot of secrets, but we can’t expect him to reveal those just to make us trust him. He had a son taken away from him too, among other people. What I’m trying to say, Dad, is please understand that he, on the contrary to the Centre, managed to give me as much help as hurt. He has been trying to make it up… the Centre never did and never will. Everyone deserves a second chance even if it seems impossible. He’s been a part of my life since I was a child and I can’t leave him behind, he knows parts of me that you don’t, but you know and will know parts of me that he won’t. Please, Dad, even if you can’t like him, at least talk to him in a normal way and please don’t fight about me. I have lost so many things in my life, I want to stop that tendency and from now on I want to KEEP people.”
After Jarod finished his speech, another silence settled between them. He watched as his father turned his head to look out at the sky through the window. He was obviously thinking and considering the points that Jarod had told him. Jarod felt his heart beat faster; he so wanted his father to see what he’d tried to say. He knew he could not tell it to him any other way, so Jarod knew if his father didn’t understand his feelings and his point of view from this then he could not do anything else to make him see. And it would disappoint him.
Major Charles let out the breath that he had been holding, stepped closer and put a hand on his son’s shoulder. “Son, I think you are right. You are a good man. If you weren’t, you couldn’t have told this to me now. And I have to face it… it’s due to Sydney. I have my issues with him and maybe I was blaming him for the Centre’s crimes because he was the closest and most obvious person from that place. It’s just been so long, so many years hiding and trying to find you, your brother, your mother and Emily. So many things have happened, I found out my son is dead and that I have another one, Ethan. And all this time I was suffering so much and I knew we ALL were suffering and I… I had no one to blame. Blaming an organization and then blaming one person is different. Maybe I shouldn’t have looked at Sydney as the organization.”
“Dad, I love you. You and our family was my whole reason to keep going, to not give up. Sydney was a firm part of the support system that helped me in the process. Without you, without the thought of you, Mom, Emily, my whole family and Sydney, we would not be standing here talking like this.”
“I know. I just need some time until I find my peace. The peace I can afford in our world. And I love you too.” He said and then hugged Jarod. Pulling back, he patted him, which made Jarod wince. “Oh, I’m sorry, Jarod, I forgot…”
“It’s okay. I’m healing.”
“Yes, you are. That’s why I will leave you alone now so you can get some rest.”
“Dad, you don’t have to leave just because…”
“Don’t argue with your father. Get some rest.” Major Charles said jokingly. “I might take a short nap myself.” Jarod nodded and watched as his father left the room. His father turned back in the doorway, winked at him and left.
Taking a deep breath, Jarod looked out through the window. He felt relieved and felt something strange. He felt as if he was talking to himself. For a long time he blamed his mentor for a lot of things, he didn’t know if he could forgive him, but he’d let it out and now was the time when he, himself had to face his own thoughts. Sydney had hurt him, but he had also kept him alive in the Centre. Sydney had denied things from him, but he deserved a second chance because his biggest crime was surviving. The old man wasn’t perfect. He always thought things through, tried to see things from an objective point of view, he was a psychiatrist after all, but he couldn’t be blamed for being a human being with feelings, emotions and issues. Somehow, it didn’t seem fair to Jarod anymore to put the blame on Sydney for things that were beyond his control; that he had nothing to do with. It was time for Jarod to face his own feelings about Sydney. He was already sure of one thing, two people in his life, two people who were close to him were suffering and their solution was to help each other, but the situation wasn’t easy. Hell, when was it ever easy, he thought.
With a sigh, he walked back to the bed and lay down. A tough time was ahead of them and he needed to clear his head to be able to think about the possibilities of how to solve their current situation. And they had to start to think about where to go. The Centre was not to be underestimated, with each passing hour the danger grew. And there was no way in hell he would let the Centre get close to them again. No way.
Unknown Place
Upstairs – Sydney’s room
2:04 pm
Standing at the window, Sydney looked around. The room felt so strange. He’d barely spent any time there since their arrival days ago. He had to admit he was exhausted both physically and mentally. Sitting at Jarod’s bedside without any break, the ongoing tension and small confrontations with Major Charles and the uncertain and unfortunate circumstances seemed to have an affect on him too. No matter how he tried to delay it, the time had come to consider what was important enough for him to hold on to.
Jarod was obviously feeling better. He just needed to heal physically. His mental healing was another issue. He was surprisingly strong, but he wasn’t the only one, everyone in the building was strong in their own way. He and the Major had problems, but he had to admit that the other man had a lot of strength for going through and surviving what he and his family had. Miss Parker was one of the toughest people he had ever seen. As a psychiatrist, he had seen many cases where people hadn’t gone through half of the difficulties in life that Parker and Jarod had. And Broots, so many people, including him, underestimated the tech, but his actions spoke for themselves. What is it if not strength, when a person is ready to face his biggest fears when it’s necessary for his colleagues’ sake? That is where Lyle, Raines and the Centre underestimated Broots; they never thought he was capable of all the things he’d done to help reveal their dirty secrets.
With a frown, the old man went to his bed and sat down. He was struggling from the inside. The “weak, cowardly geek” was right; he couldn’t deny the facts anymore. Catherine Parker and his own twin brother had given their lives for something that was in his hands now - helping, saving and protecting those people who needed and deserved it. Jarod may have already found his own way to deal with unexpected turns because he finally had a supportive family. He knew his protégé was going to turn to him when he needed him; he was about to take the ‘final’ journey to his dreams - finding his mother. But Parker, Parker was alone. No matter from which side he tried to look at it, she was alone and he himself had no one. Michelle and Nicholas deserved a life without danger and he wasn’t sure they even wanted him there. He was sure they wouldn’t send him away, but he knew they did not need him in their new lives. He loved his son and would have given his life or whatever was needed for him, but he was an adult who had managed to grow up into a remarkable young man with plans, a normal life and good relationships. The choice seemed obvious. He had to choose the only person left for him. He’d tried to put what he felt for Catherine into the deepest part of his heart and soul, but he knew if the time to honor their relationship, love and connection had come, this was it. They had a child.
“I have a daughter,” Sydney uttered out loud to the empty room. He finally realized it. He had a daughter.
Unknown Place
Upstairs –Broots’ room
3:54 pm
Ethan smiled at the scene on the TV while Broots literally cracked up. He couldn’t decide if he was amused at the film or at Broots himself. The tech was a very enjoyable person. Having special abilities, Ethan knew that the others had to solve their own issues, they all had to find their own way, but Broots was neglected. The poor man who almost been killed a few weeks ago, was now separated from his daughter and whose life had officially turned into hell was left alone. He didn’t know what, why and how, but he did not feel the need to get away from him like he usually did with people.
He didn’t trust strangers. The only two people in his life that he trusted were his sister and brother. All the others were strangers who he could or could not let close. Broots belonged to the first one. He simply seemed absolutely no danger to him. So, he’d decided to spend some time with the man and try to give him support. Ethan knew exactly how sad Broots was about his sister’s condition and when the tech laughed out even louder than before, he couldn’t hold back a short laugh either.
Unknown Place
Tuesday morning
Downstairs
6:54 am
Early the next morning, Sydney made his way downstairs. He’d slept for hours and it had helped him. He’d finally managed to have a good, long rest and it was probably what he needed to collect some strength. When he reached the kitchen and entered, he almost bumped into the Major who had two cups of coffee on a tray.
“Oh, sorry.” Sydney apologized when he saw the movement the other man had to make to not spill the coffee. He was prepared to get another sharp comment from him, but he didn’t care anymore. He had calmed down, had a clear head now and was able to read behavior, as a psychiatrist should. Surprisingly, there were no insults from the Major this time.
“Ah, Sydney, good morning.” He said. “There, um, there is some coffee, I made enough for all of us, help yourself.” He said, not too friendly, but not in a hostile way either and left. After a couple seconds of surprise, Sydney realized it must have been due to Jarod. The psychiatrist was ready to have his own talk with the Major regarding the subject, but if Jarod’s point of view had helped, he had no problem with that. He, however, knew that the time to have their talk would come. Whatever Jarod had said might help them both to find the common way to be able to build up a connection to talk in a normal manner.
Upstairs
Corridor
7:00 am
Jarod had almost reached the stairs when he met his father. It was a sight that lit up his mood - early morning, incredible smelling coffee and meeting his father like a normal family. He wanted to believe it, for a few seconds at least.
“Good morning.”
“Morning, son.”
“Coffee?” Jarod asked.
“Yes, one of them is yours.”
“You shouldn’t have…”
“Don’t even finish. Just take one.”
“And the other one?” The Major looked up at him, but didn’t reply. Jarod knew the answer. “Um, Dad, would you mind if…?”
“No, I wouldn’t.” His father replied. There was no need to finish.
“Thank you. I will drink mine later.” The Pretender said and took one cup of coffee from the tray.
They were standing in front of Broots’ room. When the tech opened the door, they both turned their attention to the man. “Morning.” He said.
The Major held out the tray. “Good morning, Broots. Here’s a cup of coffee. It will do good as a start for the day.”
With a weak smile, the tech took the cup. “My daughter would do better, but thanks a lot.” The Major put an arm around Broots and led him to the stairs. Jarod heard a few lines before they left him alone in the corridor.
“She’s fine, you know. Tell me about your daughter, Mr. Broots.”
Jarod took a deep breath and turned around. Trying not to spill the coffee, he slowly made his way to Parker’s room. He stopped at the door and knocked softly. He waited a few seconds, but got no reply. After several seconds of silence, he tried again. Nothing. The third time he knocked louder, but he still didn’t hear anything.
“Parker? Miss Parker?” Jarod’s worry started to grow. What if she’d fainted again? “Miss Parker, I’m coming in.” He said in a loud voice that was easy to hear from the inside, but still wasn’t shouting. Turning the knob, he opened the door. Slowly pushing it open, he stepped in. When he spotted her, he felt relief because he’d half expected her to be gone. Quietly closing the door behind him, he took a step inside, but stopped. He wanted to make sure she was all right and as he stood and watched as she lay on the bed, eyes closed and her chest rhythmically moving up and down, his worry disappeared.
Now he had a problem. He was inside the room while she was sleeping and he hadn’t gotten permission to enter. He knew waking her wasn’t really an option. She would bite his head off with one swift motion. He wondered if he should leave and wait until she came down herself, but standing there, looking at her while she was so peaceful, silent and calm, he didn’t have the strength to leave. And the fact that she only had on a t-shirt, gave him a sight that he didn’t really want to leave behind.
Finally, his hesitation disappeared. His problem was solved when she moved. She turned her head and Jarod watched as Parker, eyes still closed, stretched on the bed, groaning as her upper body arched off the bed. Jarod gulped.
To Be Continued…
Parker spotted his gaze and raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“You took advantage of me.” He said.
“It happens. Life’s cruel.” Came her short reply. “I don’t think you’ll be surprised if I don’t beg for your forgiveness.”
“Ah no, Miss Parker, I never expected that.” She kept taking small sips from the tea and didn’t seem to pay too much attention. “I know you don’t give a damn about anything I told you, but you know… human nature… sometimes the best cure is to let it all out… even if the person we tell is a stranger to us.”
“Save the babble, Major. I pay attention to everything and then I decide if that information is useful or not. Most of yours belonged to the latter, but I found out some interesting stuff too.”
The Major let out a short laugh. His son was truthful and he admired that, but Miss Parker’s “honesty” was something entirely different. It seemed to be one of her best weapons - honestly telling people what she thought about them. Most people wouldn’t dare do it, but she had the wit and the tongue for it. Some people might have been hurt by her revelation, but he wasn’t. He had learnt to live in the kind of world where, unfortunately, the Centre made the rules and he had learnt to take a lot more than other, normal people could. “Are you feeling better?” He asked, changing the topic.
But Parker would not let him control their conversations either. “I’m disappointed in you, Major, I thought you would take advantage of the first chance you’ve gotten.”
“First chance? Of what?”
“Of getting your son back. He wanted to talk to you and what are you doing? Standing here, not being useful. You can do the same in his room and at least there you could talk.”
“My son is getting better, his physical condition seems better than yours. We will have time to talk. Now I think we should worry about your health.”
“Touching, but please don’t try to fool me.” The Major liked their interactions. It was incredible how she openly didn’t even give him a glance, but was still giving him responses that made it obvious to him that she knew a lot more about the situation than it seemed. That was due to the fact that she did pay attention indeed. “Do yourself a favor and go to him. You are dying for it. Don’t be a fool now when I’ve finally started to see some promise in you.”
“Oh, was that a compliment, Miss Parker?” The Major asked mockingly.
“Might be,” She said with a grin. “Take note of it, you’re never gonna get another one.”
The Major let out a short laugh before he shook his head and let out a sigh. Parker just rolled her eyes at the sight. He was obviously struggling with himself. He wanted to go. “Get out!”
“Are you sure you will be okay if I leave?”
“Major, your concern is touching, but it’s making me nauseous. Don’t worry, I’m a big girl, the room isn’t too big, I won’t get lost in a wardrobe.”
“Alright.” He said and turned to the door. Holding the handle, he stood for a short while, thinking and struggling with himself.
Parker knew what he wanted. He wanted to tell her thank you. Before he could collect all his strength, she spoke. “Don’t hurry back.” The Major turned back, shot her a small smile and left. Finally, Parker thought and leaned her head back, closing her eyes.
Unknown Place
Upstairs – Jarod’s room
2:04 pm
Jarod sat down on his bed and leaned back. His wounds hurt and even though he’d barely done anything, he felt exhausted. He knew it was due to Raines. Looking back on the process, he had to admit he didn’t know how he could hold on for so long. Just the thought of Raines woke an intense hatred in him that he had never felt before. He knew, their time would come soon; his time to pay back everything that wheezing ghoul -as Parker called him- had done to him, his brothers, his family and Sydney, and everything he’d done to Parker.
Parker… his mind couldn’t move on from that subject. He’d regained full consciousness a few days ago. Fact is fact, he was a pretender, he was a genius, he KNEW something was wrong. Sydney was behaving strangely and his father hadn’t come to visit, but he knew the reason for that. He slightly remembered sending him away and it was bugging him. He’d never meant to hurt him, he’d been looking for his father, for his family, for years and now when they were close, he didn’t want to push them away.
He was aware of the fact that Sydney and his father couldn’t find a common line. He knew what his father’s problem was, and while it was hurting him that his father felt rejected, it also made him feel relieved at the same time. The reason was simple. His father must have a reason for being jealous and it meant that Sydney did have feelings for him. He’d managed to get to know his father more or less and he knew he had his reasons for everything. So, if he was jealous of Sydney for their connection, then there was something to be envious of and this justified his wishes… his wishes that he was, in some ways, longing for. He now just had to find a way to make them both understand what they meant to him. His father was his father; no one and nothing could take away that FACT and bond and he loved him dearly, but Sydney was one of the two persons who had kept him alive and sane while he was in the Centre, and after he escaped. Without Sydney he would, most probably, have ended up like Kyle… or even worse.
How he was going to help them to solve their issues was, however, a mystery. Especially now when he, himself didn’t feel that he was capable of helping them. The events of this afternoon didn’t leave him time to consider the situation, but now that he was alone, he had the opportunity to look at this new turn. He didn’t feel the strength in himself to help others because he was suffering. He couldn’t or didn’t want to grasp it, but Parker didn’t remember. She didn’t remember their time together. When he looked into her eyes, he couldn’t see the passion that was there whenever he had the rare chance to be a part of that joy. Sometimes hatred, sometimes doubt and sometimes emotions… those were the things that he had seen in her eyes, but now they were all gone. Her eyes were full of confusion, lost, hurt and fear. She had no clue where she was and even though she seemed brave, feisty and dangerous, he knew what she felt. She was at the exact state where HE had been when he escaped from the Centre. But what was aching the most was his heart. Just days ago he’d thought he had finally managed to find the way straight to her deepest and most hidden feelings, it seemed a tough ride, but he was at the right road. And now it was gone. Damn Raines, damn the Centre and damn fate for giving her to him.
A soft knock on the wooden door interrupted his deep thoughts. He cleared his throat, sat up on the bed and said in a loud tone, “Come in.” Turning his head, he watched as his father slowly closed the door before he walked in and took a seat in the chair facing him.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” Jarod replied, giving him a half smile. For a short while, they sat in silence. Jarod tried to find the right words; he usually never had that kind of a problem, but at that moment, he didn’t know how to start. His father solved the problem when he chuckled.
“Something funny?” He asked confused. His father just looked at him with a warm expression on his face.
“The situation. The fact that we are sitting here, just like I imagined it so many times is funny.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Through all the years when I was hoping to find you, to talk to you, I imagined our meeting and first talk. I always thought we would probably just stand in front of each other in silence, neither of us knowing what to say, especially me. Then when we finally met, everything happened totally different. I know we didn’t have the time to stand in silence, we had to get out as soon as possible, but even afterwards, we managed to find an understanding between us. Just now, I recalled my thoughts. It’s happening NOW and it’s weird.”
“Dad, I’m sorry.”
“For what, son?”
“For making you feel rejected.” The Pretender said, standing up from his seat. “I never meant to make you feel unwanted or that I didn’t trust or need you. I was… I was just in a state where I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“It wasn’t your fault, son, I understand that, so don’t even start blaming yourself for something that you are not responsible for.” Major Charles moved closer to his son and put a hand on his shoulder, but Jarod just shook his head and turned away, lowering his head.
“No, Dad, you don’t understand.”
“I do, son, I see everything clearly.”
“No you don’t. Dad, I…” Taking a deep breath, he turned around and looked straight into his father’s eyes. “You need to know, you need to SEE something that is important for me. I know that you and Sydney have a problem.” Jarod watched as the Major’s brows furrowed and knew what he was thinking. “No, it’s not him that is making me say anything good about him. Sydney is someone who is not easy to understand. When I escaped from the Centre, I blamed him for so many things. I considered him one of them, but after some time I realized it’s a lot more complicated. The Centre itself is complicated. We could have considered Catherine Parker one of them. After all, she WAS working for them, but we think differently about her because she sacrificed herself for something she believed and even though she didn’t plan it that way, she intended to something good for me and the other children. Something that would have meant the world for us and a terrible loss for the Centre.”
“Son, you can’t tell me that Sydney is the same as her.” The Major started.
“Let me finish. Catherine Parker chose to work for the Centre. She was smart, intelligent, compassionate and a wonderful woman, but even for her, it took some time to realize what the Centre was doing. She was young, had a relationship that became a tight bond to the Centre, so she got involved. Sydney and Jacob were also young when they started to work for the Centre. A young ambitious psychiatrist, who, after losing his family during a terrible childhood in Dachau, got a job that he always wanted. Moreover, his ONLY family, his twin brother was working for them too. Sydney has always been the one who never asked questions instead, he tried to focus on his own stuff. Call him weak, call him a coward, but nobody is perfect. His brother lay in coma, Catherine Parker was dead and he had a child to work with. He got a lifetime job where he got too involved to quit. He had to choose; he either stayed at the Centre, remaining alive and trying to make the best for himself and his pretender genius, or he could have left, which would have probably resulted in him ending up dead and me being given to Raines. I know it’s not a reason, it’s not an excuse to forgive him for keeping me in the dark, for working for them and for being loyal to them. But through the years, hell decades, he was my only support to grow up as a sort of a human being instead of a 100 lab rat. Catherine Parker got to see things a lot sooner than Sydney did and she paid for it with her life. Sydney on the other hand was, I myself have to admit, one of the reasons the Centre never found me. He has so much pain in his own heart, so many issues in his own mind, along with a lot of secrets, but we can’t expect him to reveal those just to make us trust him. He had a son taken away from him too, among other people. What I’m trying to say, Dad, is please understand that he, on the contrary to the Centre, managed to give me as much help as hurt. He has been trying to make it up… the Centre never did and never will. Everyone deserves a second chance even if it seems impossible. He’s been a part of my life since I was a child and I can’t leave him behind, he knows parts of me that you don’t, but you know and will know parts of me that he won’t. Please, Dad, even if you can’t like him, at least talk to him in a normal way and please don’t fight about me. I have lost so many things in my life, I want to stop that tendency and from now on I want to KEEP people.”
After Jarod finished his speech, another silence settled between them. He watched as his father turned his head to look out at the sky through the window. He was obviously thinking and considering the points that Jarod had told him. Jarod felt his heart beat faster; he so wanted his father to see what he’d tried to say. He knew he could not tell it to him any other way, so Jarod knew if his father didn’t understand his feelings and his point of view from this then he could not do anything else to make him see. And it would disappoint him.
Major Charles let out the breath that he had been holding, stepped closer and put a hand on his son’s shoulder. “Son, I think you are right. You are a good man. If you weren’t, you couldn’t have told this to me now. And I have to face it… it’s due to Sydney. I have my issues with him and maybe I was blaming him for the Centre’s crimes because he was the closest and most obvious person from that place. It’s just been so long, so many years hiding and trying to find you, your brother, your mother and Emily. So many things have happened, I found out my son is dead and that I have another one, Ethan. And all this time I was suffering so much and I knew we ALL were suffering and I… I had no one to blame. Blaming an organization and then blaming one person is different. Maybe I shouldn’t have looked at Sydney as the organization.”
“Dad, I love you. You and our family was my whole reason to keep going, to not give up. Sydney was a firm part of the support system that helped me in the process. Without you, without the thought of you, Mom, Emily, my whole family and Sydney, we would not be standing here talking like this.”
“I know. I just need some time until I find my peace. The peace I can afford in our world. And I love you too.” He said and then hugged Jarod. Pulling back, he patted him, which made Jarod wince. “Oh, I’m sorry, Jarod, I forgot…”
“It’s okay. I’m healing.”
“Yes, you are. That’s why I will leave you alone now so you can get some rest.”
“Dad, you don’t have to leave just because…”
“Don’t argue with your father. Get some rest.” Major Charles said jokingly. “I might take a short nap myself.” Jarod nodded and watched as his father left the room. His father turned back in the doorway, winked at him and left.
Taking a deep breath, Jarod looked out through the window. He felt relieved and felt something strange. He felt as if he was talking to himself. For a long time he blamed his mentor for a lot of things, he didn’t know if he could forgive him, but he’d let it out and now was the time when he, himself had to face his own thoughts. Sydney had hurt him, but he had also kept him alive in the Centre. Sydney had denied things from him, but he deserved a second chance because his biggest crime was surviving. The old man wasn’t perfect. He always thought things through, tried to see things from an objective point of view, he was a psychiatrist after all, but he couldn’t be blamed for being a human being with feelings, emotions and issues. Somehow, it didn’t seem fair to Jarod anymore to put the blame on Sydney for things that were beyond his control; that he had nothing to do with. It was time for Jarod to face his own feelings about Sydney. He was already sure of one thing, two people in his life, two people who were close to him were suffering and their solution was to help each other, but the situation wasn’t easy. Hell, when was it ever easy, he thought.
With a sigh, he walked back to the bed and lay down. A tough time was ahead of them and he needed to clear his head to be able to think about the possibilities of how to solve their current situation. And they had to start to think about where to go. The Centre was not to be underestimated, with each passing hour the danger grew. And there was no way in hell he would let the Centre get close to them again. No way.
Unknown Place
Upstairs – Sydney’s room
2:04 pm
Standing at the window, Sydney looked around. The room felt so strange. He’d barely spent any time there since their arrival days ago. He had to admit he was exhausted both physically and mentally. Sitting at Jarod’s bedside without any break, the ongoing tension and small confrontations with Major Charles and the uncertain and unfortunate circumstances seemed to have an affect on him too. No matter how he tried to delay it, the time had come to consider what was important enough for him to hold on to.
Jarod was obviously feeling better. He just needed to heal physically. His mental healing was another issue. He was surprisingly strong, but he wasn’t the only one, everyone in the building was strong in their own way. He and the Major had problems, but he had to admit that the other man had a lot of strength for going through and surviving what he and his family had. Miss Parker was one of the toughest people he had ever seen. As a psychiatrist, he had seen many cases where people hadn’t gone through half of the difficulties in life that Parker and Jarod had. And Broots, so many people, including him, underestimated the tech, but his actions spoke for themselves. What is it if not strength, when a person is ready to face his biggest fears when it’s necessary for his colleagues’ sake? That is where Lyle, Raines and the Centre underestimated Broots; they never thought he was capable of all the things he’d done to help reveal their dirty secrets.
With a frown, the old man went to his bed and sat down. He was struggling from the inside. The “weak, cowardly geek” was right; he couldn’t deny the facts anymore. Catherine Parker and his own twin brother had given their lives for something that was in his hands now - helping, saving and protecting those people who needed and deserved it. Jarod may have already found his own way to deal with unexpected turns because he finally had a supportive family. He knew his protégé was going to turn to him when he needed him; he was about to take the ‘final’ journey to his dreams - finding his mother. But Parker, Parker was alone. No matter from which side he tried to look at it, she was alone and he himself had no one. Michelle and Nicholas deserved a life without danger and he wasn’t sure they even wanted him there. He was sure they wouldn’t send him away, but he knew they did not need him in their new lives. He loved his son and would have given his life or whatever was needed for him, but he was an adult who had managed to grow up into a remarkable young man with plans, a normal life and good relationships. The choice seemed obvious. He had to choose the only person left for him. He’d tried to put what he felt for Catherine into the deepest part of his heart and soul, but he knew if the time to honor their relationship, love and connection had come, this was it. They had a child.
“I have a daughter,” Sydney uttered out loud to the empty room. He finally realized it. He had a daughter.
Unknown Place
Upstairs –Broots’ room
3:54 pm
Ethan smiled at the scene on the TV while Broots literally cracked up. He couldn’t decide if he was amused at the film or at Broots himself. The tech was a very enjoyable person. Having special abilities, Ethan knew that the others had to solve their own issues, they all had to find their own way, but Broots was neglected. The poor man who almost been killed a few weeks ago, was now separated from his daughter and whose life had officially turned into hell was left alone. He didn’t know what, why and how, but he did not feel the need to get away from him like he usually did with people.
He didn’t trust strangers. The only two people in his life that he trusted were his sister and brother. All the others were strangers who he could or could not let close. Broots belonged to the first one. He simply seemed absolutely no danger to him. So, he’d decided to spend some time with the man and try to give him support. Ethan knew exactly how sad Broots was about his sister’s condition and when the tech laughed out even louder than before, he couldn’t hold back a short laugh either.
Unknown Place
Tuesday morning
Downstairs
6:54 am
Early the next morning, Sydney made his way downstairs. He’d slept for hours and it had helped him. He’d finally managed to have a good, long rest and it was probably what he needed to collect some strength. When he reached the kitchen and entered, he almost bumped into the Major who had two cups of coffee on a tray.
“Oh, sorry.” Sydney apologized when he saw the movement the other man had to make to not spill the coffee. He was prepared to get another sharp comment from him, but he didn’t care anymore. He had calmed down, had a clear head now and was able to read behavior, as a psychiatrist should. Surprisingly, there were no insults from the Major this time.
“Ah, Sydney, good morning.” He said. “There, um, there is some coffee, I made enough for all of us, help yourself.” He said, not too friendly, but not in a hostile way either and left. After a couple seconds of surprise, Sydney realized it must have been due to Jarod. The psychiatrist was ready to have his own talk with the Major regarding the subject, but if Jarod’s point of view had helped, he had no problem with that. He, however, knew that the time to have their talk would come. Whatever Jarod had said might help them both to find the common way to be able to build up a connection to talk in a normal manner.
Upstairs
Corridor
7:00 am
Jarod had almost reached the stairs when he met his father. It was a sight that lit up his mood - early morning, incredible smelling coffee and meeting his father like a normal family. He wanted to believe it, for a few seconds at least.
“Good morning.”
“Morning, son.”
“Coffee?” Jarod asked.
“Yes, one of them is yours.”
“You shouldn’t have…”
“Don’t even finish. Just take one.”
“And the other one?” The Major looked up at him, but didn’t reply. Jarod knew the answer. “Um, Dad, would you mind if…?”
“No, I wouldn’t.” His father replied. There was no need to finish.
“Thank you. I will drink mine later.” The Pretender said and took one cup of coffee from the tray.
They were standing in front of Broots’ room. When the tech opened the door, they both turned their attention to the man. “Morning.” He said.
The Major held out the tray. “Good morning, Broots. Here’s a cup of coffee. It will do good as a start for the day.”
With a weak smile, the tech took the cup. “My daughter would do better, but thanks a lot.” The Major put an arm around Broots and led him to the stairs. Jarod heard a few lines before they left him alone in the corridor.
“She’s fine, you know. Tell me about your daughter, Mr. Broots.”
Jarod took a deep breath and turned around. Trying not to spill the coffee, he slowly made his way to Parker’s room. He stopped at the door and knocked softly. He waited a few seconds, but got no reply. After several seconds of silence, he tried again. Nothing. The third time he knocked louder, but he still didn’t hear anything.
“Parker? Miss Parker?” Jarod’s worry started to grow. What if she’d fainted again? “Miss Parker, I’m coming in.” He said in a loud voice that was easy to hear from the inside, but still wasn’t shouting. Turning the knob, he opened the door. Slowly pushing it open, he stepped in. When he spotted her, he felt relief because he’d half expected her to be gone. Quietly closing the door behind him, he took a step inside, but stopped. He wanted to make sure she was all right and as he stood and watched as she lay on the bed, eyes closed and her chest rhythmically moving up and down, his worry disappeared.
Now he had a problem. He was inside the room while she was sleeping and he hadn’t gotten permission to enter. He knew waking her wasn’t really an option. She would bite his head off with one swift motion. He wondered if he should leave and wait until she came down herself, but standing there, looking at her while she was so peaceful, silent and calm, he didn’t have the strength to leave. And the fact that she only had on a t-shirt, gave him a sight that he didn’t really want to leave behind.
Finally, his hesitation disappeared. His problem was solved when she moved. She turned her head and Jarod watched as Parker, eyes still closed, stretched on the bed, groaning as her upper body arched off the bed. Jarod gulped.
To Be Continued…
