Characters: Brigitte, Jarod
Classifications: Genres: General
Warnings: None
Challenges: Drabble #24 Alternate Universe
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed:Yes
Word count: 105
Read Count: 4596
ooooh very very dark indeed. I don't quite get the valve and the cold water bit, I have to admit, and I shudder to think that our favourite characters could meet such a tragic end at the hands of Dr Raines... Impressive the amount of action you managed to convey in so little words...
Reviewer: middleman SignedAmazing, surprising, fascinating, daring, clever, diabolical, beautiful, selfless, heart-wrenching, soul-rendering...they all come to mind after reading this wonderful fic!
Thank you so much for a fresh perspective!
Wow. This was a disturbingly dark and intense read but I loved it! How like Lyle to want everything but desire failure above all...
Reviewer: middleman SignedOh. My. God. I am in shock. I really don't know what was worse (or best, really): Miss Parker's funeral, Jarod begging to be allowed to help Sydney, Angelo's barely noticed death or broots having nothing to live for but regrets...
I especially hated (=loved) the fact that the triumvirate gets Jarod's body back. It is an incredibly powerful detail...
Such a dark fic, yet compelling. Thank you for such a good read!
Author's Response: Thanks so much. Glad you liked/hated it. Lol. Hope the shock wasn't too much to bear!
Amazing story. Completely implacable. I've just devoured entropy and here are, in no particular order, the elements that stand out in my mind :
*Lyle and Jarod drinking together in Jarod's cell. That scene was pure genius!
* so was the big L carved in Jarod's back! So symbolic of Lyle's backstabbing, if there was such a thing as poetic injustice, it would be a perfect example, I believe!
*Jarod's nervous breakdown. Incredibly powerful scene. I don't think I've ever read a story where our favourite pretender gives up control so completely and vents all his rage and frustration quite so vocally! I loved it.
* Miss Parker smearing blood on Jarod's lips. Perfect image.Incredibly meaningful...
* Finally, the Pez gift at the end of the last chapter which is such a cruel beautiful finishing touch...
I am in awe and, I admit, not a bit envious, of your storytelling skills!! Thank you so much for a great read.
Here I am again, back after having devoured aftermath in one sitting! Loved the escape (espacially the fact that it took one heart-wrenching failed attempt before they succeeded). Gem rules!!! Actually, Gem and Broots rule!
I love the fact that you are not using a magic wand to make all the bad feelings, insecurities and psychological deconstruction go away...
Please please don't let Jarod go back to Lyle though.... Please let him catch a glimps of the carved L between his shoulderblades, perhaps after a shower or something... Please let him email Sydney in his confusion... Please please please..... I don't even know what I'm begging for, just don't put him through anymore, Jarod has suffered enough!
Anxiously waiting for more,
middleman.
Lol, this is a jolly little fic which I enjoyed reading a lot! Thank you!
Reviewer: middleman SignedOh I loved it! This was simply hilarious. And the names at the end are perfect! Thanks for a quick but cheerful read!
Reviewer: middleman SignedOth that was very cleverly written and very intense! Congratulations!
Reviewer: middleman Signed
All this is very mysterious still (I've only read chapter 1) but very pleasantly written. I'm definitely hooked and I look forward to reading more when I get the chance!
Author's Response:
Looking forward to hear from you. ;-)
Thank you for the review.
Reviewer: middleman Signedewwwwww, Mr Parker's severed head stored in a cupboard... (just finished chapter 2) Poor Miss Parker, she's going to lose her sanity if she stays locked up in that dungeon with her father's decapitated head for sole company! And I don't trust Dr Kearny...
But I like your story very very much! once again, can't wait to read more!
oops chapter 3, and it seems that the steel jaws of the trap are closing in on our favourite pretender...! How exciting, he's probably in for some hard time with Lyle now... And how wrong of me to think that! But hey, this is the beauty of fanfic!
Can't wait to read chapter 4!
Lyle rants, justifies, damns himself. All in one. It’s economical, really. “What did you ever give her? The truth? More lies? Confusion, anger, hate, suffering?”
“What did you give her? Thirty seconds before you collapsed, spent?” He could have been a comedian, really.
“Fuck you,” Lyle sneers.
“I’m brainwashed, but I’m not that far gone.”
Lyle smiles. “Oh, we’ll see.”
Jarod’s smart enough to know a promise when he sees one.
That's my favourite part, but I loved all of it! Twisted, harsh, funny in an empty way and it all makes sense, sort of... Well, more than this review, anyway...
Oh yay, a big big LOL to this ficlet! Thank for a heartfelt laugh!
Reviewer: middleman SignedThis is going to sound weird but to me this piece read like a rising and ebbing tide, with each verse a wave... I liked it!
I like it. I could almost hear the fire crackling in the fireplace :) I also like your Miss Parker, softer than before the isle of carthis yet more determined than ever to find the truth...
Author's Response: Thank you. I am glad that you liked it.
I know you wrote this a while ago but I thought you wouldn't mind some more positive feedback on it!
As other readers have said it does read just like a dream where you know some things without knowing why, where objects change and fuse into each other (the blask sack turning into a pool) but most of all were feelings rule.
What nailed it for me was that even the comforting end of his dream was full of confusion, and as we know, Jarod is still looking for his identity...
Thanks for a very good read!
oooh I'm liking this first chapter! Good balance between action, description and dialogue, characters are spot on so far... If I had time, I'd read more today!
Reviewer: middleman SignedOh well, we can't let your muse shrivel up, now can we? Another very good chapter (chapter 3), I especially loved the Jarod/Angelo interaction. I also find Miss Parker's reasoning at the end fascinating, if extremely harsh...
Reviewer: middleman SignedOh this is good stuff! I am dreading the "treatment" and wouldn't want to be in Sydney's shoes for all the tea in China, yet I am thoroughly enjoying this story... Does that make me evil? I think it makes me totally engrossed in your story!
Bert the one with the mullet...lol! Trust Broots to have the most fashion-sense deprived friends at the centre, hehe. But I liked the way you brought about the idea of the antidote. A believable intern story, no magical immediate solution to the problem...yet hope, just what we needed! Well done!
Just finished reading "Believe your own lies", once more I loved it! From a terrific Miss Parker, to an amazing Angelo, with a healthy dose of Jarod,ever the genius, admirable in his self-control (I have to say, I feared the talk between Sydney and him, it could have gone so wrong from a characterization point of view) and of course a great Sydney trying to content everyone at the same time, this is truly good stuff... I am very impressed by the way you convey the feeling of captivity, not just concerning Jarod, but all of the characters. All trapped in their own lies under the watchful eyes of cameras and sweepers... Can't wait to read more!
Reviewer: middleman SignedYes the bad guys won, but what a brilliantly described victory. Jarod's walk to the infirmary reminded me of a convict walking to the death chamber... Congratulations on a stark, complex, tense and poignant story!
PS: I really really hope to read about what happens next, Jarod's new life, the search for the cure to Animus etc soon!
ok MP, although this is a very old challenge, I'm gonna try to guess, but RaChell is right you're baffling.
"Her friend had died at the Centre" makes me think that the friend in question is Mrs Parker... How about Edna Raines?
Thanks for playing!
You're very close, but not quite there. If you're curious, they figured it out over on the forum <a href="http://www.pretendercentre.com/forum/index.php?topic=579.0">here</a>
Reviewer: middleman SignedI tried to guess before reading the reviews but I only found 50% of the answer. I knew Jarod was the attacker because of the last sentence. After all who has more cause than Jarod to "balance the scales"? The cheap leather glove did make me wonder about Cox or Lyle but they wouldn't be caught dead wearing cheap stuff.
As for the person attacked, the tone first made me think of Broots, but the text was lacking in geeky references. :) Sydney or Miss Parker didn't fit the bill at all as I couldn't imagine them thinking something like "shut me up real fast". Besides I am convinced that they would never shut up just because of a gun... Sydney because talking is his profession and Miss Parker because talking is her way of keeping control and buying time... So I thought maybe it was Mr Lyle because he would know cheap from expensive leather, and there is a streak of vulgarity in him... no, not vulgarity, but the idea that beneath the sophisticated smooth appearance lurks someone much more brutal and much more raw, the thug in him who could say "you don't talk with the man with the gun". Also he would know about the power show (making the safety click...)
But I can also see Mr Parker in that position... Anyway, well done for keeping us, guessing, it's far from easy!
Reviewer: middleman SignedOh that was beautiful, so full of sadness and hope mingled... I loved it!
Reviewer: middleman Signed