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Disclaimer: Don't own The Pretender NBC does, though I plan on buying it if NBC drops it and starting my own Television Sation just so as I can keep it on air and then everybody on this list can write the episodes. Whose with me?BTW the song It's Come To This belongs to Fuel.




It's Come To This
by Krystal McDermott






And I found my head uncrowned and all life's sweet nectar flowing down the cracks and seams wasted on some pretty little prayers And I reached up for despair but I was well below that chereished stage and all my mangled hopes all songs unsung

They're dead. They are all gone. My dreams ended long ago. When I was a young girl, my mamma would tell me that some day I would find somebody to love, like she found daddy and that we would live happily ever after. I used to dream of my wedding day, daddy would walk me down the isle, my mamma would be in the front pew at the church, her eyes filled with tears of joy. But now I know the only tears my mum ever cried were tears of saddness, tears for the lost children, tears for her failed marriage, tears for a daughter whom she would never get to see grow up. She was murded, in an elevator. An elevator, they go up, they go down, they go nowhere. My mum she went to heaven I know, but me, where will I go?

I fear I've wasted all my sun
I fear I've wasted all my time
Everything is faded
Smiles are fabricated now
I fear I've wasted all my sun
I fear I've wasted all my time
Held my eyes closed for too long


Years ago, before my mamma died I used to sit on my daddy's lap in his office. He used to tell me how in years to come that it would be me sitting behind that desk, I would be in charge of signing all the papers, watching over all the children at the Centre, making sure everybody does what is expected of them. I was so proud. I was his Angel. I wanted to grow up and be just like him, so important and powerful and yet so kind and respected. What he didn't tell me was that the papers I would be signing would be prison sentences for children, the children I would be watching over, would be children ripped away from their parents, pupets for the Centre, scientific experiments, the jobs I was to make sure my employees carried out were assassinations, victims of the war between the Centre and humanity. He was not respected, he was feared. He was not kind, he was evil.

And I ran out through the streets in hopes that I might find it there but all my buildings stared back at me tenantless and bare and I reached up for the sky, but it always seemed so far away transcendent thoughts you gave lie atrophied and broken

The Centre is responsible for destroying the lives of countless innocent people and even I have innocent blood on my hands. My mamma died trying to protect me. Tommy died trying to rescue me from the Centre. Jarod is forever running from the Centre, but will never completely dissapear because of me.

I fear I've wasted all my sun
I fear I've wasted all my time
Everything is faded
Smiles are fabricated now
I fear I've wasted all my sun
I fear I've wasted all my time
Held my eyes closed for too long


Jarod. He has tried for so long to warn me of the dangers. To open my eyes to the hell that surrounds me. Now after all this time is it too late to escape? Will he accept me or will I be yet another friend who has betrayed him? How could I have been so blind all those years, all those simulations I sat in on as I child, watching Jarod go through all that pain and suffering, believing that it was all for a greater good.

And I sat when I should have stood; swallowed when I should have spit until now I only recognize me in pictures taken long ago and all the changes simply haunt and never go away a friend will tell when I hit hell, I may not feel the change

Hell. I used to think such a place never existed, that my life with my mamma and daddy would go on forever. But all that has changed. I now realise I have been in hell since I was 11 years old. Since the day my mother died, I plummited from the wings of an Angel in heaven into the devils grasp in hell. Up until recently one would of assumed that my father was the devil. He is evil but I now know that the devil is none other than my twin brother, Lyle. My mother was such a kind, gentle, angel. How could something so evil spawn from someone so beautiful?

Held my eyes closed for too long
Held my eyes closed for too long


I have to leave. I have to escape. I've been in this nightmare for far too long. I'll go to Main, to Lake Catherine and visit Ben one last time. Throughout this whole nightmare he has protected my mother. Her room is just how it was the last time she was there. Jarod will know to find me there. If he can still accept me after all I have done that is. I must see Sydney and Broots before I leave they have been more of a family to me than my real family has ever been. Sydney also tried to warn me long ago, but I refused to listen, my head was filled with hopes and dreams that someday my father may care. My father will not be pleased, but when has he ever been pleased with me?

Just before I go don't you offer any sweet advice because where were all you shoulders when I needed them so long ago and now with legs weak and weary from this silly dance with a suitcase full of memories, I pack my bags and slowly drift away.

I drive off into the night, without a word to my father or Lyle. Looking back upon the years I remember all the happy times I shared with mamma, daddy and Jarod and I can't believe it's come to this.



Krystal

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