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by Felicity Drummond
Merry Christmas to the family I never knew...
Was never given the chance to understand...
Nor discover what it is to love.
Your faces are blank and distorted in my dreams...
As I struggle to recapture memory, the only thing
that keeps hope alive.
Merry Christmas to the only family I ever knew...
Who now persue me relentlessly...
To the first girl I ever kissed...
My kindred spirit.
I see behind the Icy exterior, I understand,
As she shuts herself off from the world to survive.
To Sydney, The only father we ever knew.
Merry Christmas to my “loving family”...
To Lyle and my father who really couldn’t give a damn.
Merry Christmas to Reins God bless it to be his last.
To the dead and those who might as well be
To the half empty bottle of Vodka held tightly in my hand
And the elusive pretender, the only wall between myself and freedom.
Merry Christmas to the lies and deciept,
which wind around my heart and leave me unable to feel.
To the walls of ice which keep me from cracking as they numb the pain
and the poison which kills anything I grow to care about.
To the loneliness, to what if’s and if only’s. To the survivers,
To weakness. To love
Merry Christmas to those who I consider my children
Though I cannot hope to ease their pain.
To my part in their condemnation.
To orders, to regrets, to guilt.
To the Centre and it’s secrets and the fact that I’ve survived.
To experience and hopelessness and to the children who
Catherine Parker died trying to save. To Jacob, to the dead
and to freedom, Miss Parkers naive dream.
Merry Christmas to My family, who Jarod helped me to find.
The years fade into insignificance when I see their faces.
To Mr Parker and Reins and Anger and Revenge.
To Grief and comfort I cannot offer.
To Symbolism and innocence and hate.
Reconciliation, retribution and distrust.
I think of Miss Parker and Jarod. The only two people
I’ve ever wanted to protect. To terror and confusion, betrayal
And blind trust. Merry Christmas to Jarod. Merry Christmas to Miss Parker
Trust can kill you or set you free.