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I have no idea where this has come from but my muse will NOT let it go til I write it.  Comedy and Action and Shoes!

There is kissing, thats all folks!



Sighing Parker settled into the plush comfortable seat of the company Jet.  She didn't usually get requested for the private courier runs, but her father had requested, and there was excellent shopping to be had in Vancouver.  Negotiating to take a couple of days off had been her price.

Package duly delivered she hit the streets, the spring lines  should be out by now, and there was a fabulous pair of Jimmy Choo's she was dying to try on.


Her eyes rounded in shock at the number of zeroes showing on the price tag of the shoes the assistant had reverently placed on the glass counter in front of her.  The shoes were divine but the price tag was astounding.  Flicking a smile at the assistant "I would love to try them on, but they are more expensive than I expected" a sadder smile and a sad stroke of the stiletto heel "I'm sure only serious buyers get to try on these gorgeous gorgeous shoes".  Nodding  agreement and gathering up the shoes, the pert brunette assistant walked around the counter, and to Parkers shock handed her the shoes "Yes thats correct and thats what I will tell the manager if he enquires" 

Her eyes flick the the obvious expensive designer pantsuit Parker is wearing "You certaintly look like you *could* afford them".  Smiling a conspiratorial smile, she slips her heels and sits down, placing the Choo's on the floor in front of her.  Slowly sliding her feet into them, she rises and strides to the mirror Bad bad idea, my god these shoes are sexy! Striking a pose from side to side, checking herself in the awesome shoes, smiling in delight.

The mirror faces the street, and she pauses as a familiar profile strides right past the shop.  Jarod?  here?  Whirling, completely forgetting where she was, she races for the door, bounding for the sidewalk.  Arrested by the shop alarms going off, she realises what it looks like she has done and a security guard races out to secure her before she runs further OMG they think I tried to do a runner!

Keeping it cool and calm, she tries to explain she had seen someone she urgently needed to speak to, and had completely forgotten she was wearing a pair of $25000 designer shoes that she hadn't paid for if the Centre and her father found out, there would be hell to pay, not to mention the embarrassment.

Back in her own shoes, in the managers office, waiting for the police to turn up, she ponders her options. A murmuring of male voices heading in her direction catches her attention, certain one of them is quite familiar.  Keeping her face calm as Jarod walks in, clearly pretending to be a detective.  He competently calms down the agitated manager, taking notes on a notepad, and hustles her away clad in handcuffs, she restrains her curiosity until they are in his car.

Rubbing at her now free wrists, she turns to him snapping "Don't think I'm going to thank you for this, wonderboy".  His face unreadable under his dark sunglasses, concentrating on driving he flicks a casual smirk in her direction "No thanks for saving you from a criminal record for shoplifting, or endless embarrassment at the Centre required, Miss Parker" Pulling the car into a park outside a very exclusive boutique, he turns off the engine, and gazes at her over his sunglasses "Instead I have a business proposal"

Still angry at the situation she had nearly caused, her response is short "What?  you keep this little incident quiet and I do...what?  What can *I* do for you, wonderboy.  You are the genius pretender after all"  Her tone is cutting but for some reason the smirk on his face only gets deeper "Very true Miss Parker, but one thing I can never pretend is to be a tall sexy stunning woman, who looks drop dead gorgeous in these" Reaching into the backseat he hoists out a familiar looking bag.  Its from the shoe shop she was in.

Handing her the box "I think these are your size".  Parker holds her breath, as she opens the box, nestled inside in layers of tissue are the Jimmy Choo's she lusted after.  After the surprise of the shoes fades, the words of his other sentence trickled into her brain.  Still holding the shoes, she sits back, a calculating expression on her face

"You need help with one of your pretends, a female .......distraction?" He nods "I have a meeting tonite with some dangerous men who like to party, attending with a gorgeous woman dressed to kill would help me blend in a great deal, and if you were up to providing a small distraction at the right moment, greatly increase the effectiveness of this evenings events"

Tilting his glasses further down his face, eyes twinkling in enjoyment of her predicament "So Miss Parker, care to assist me on a pretend and take down some bad guys?  Oh and you get to keep the shoes"

Damn the man! he knew her weakness  She was seriously torn but suspicious "Did you set this up? in the shop?" Jarod laughed, pushing the glasses back "I'm not God Parker, I was actually getting coffee at Starbucks  while in Detective mode, and heard the call on the car radio.  I was close so decided to take it.  I was as surprised as you were that it was you" he snickered "Did you dash for the door thinking you saw me while wearing the shoes" Snicker turning to laugh at her embarrassed blush.

"So do we have a deal?  I was going to hire an escort for the evening but you would be a much more preferable option"  Getting out of the car, he asks for no obvious reason "How is your Russian these days?"

She gets leans across his seat and yells out the open door "I didn't say yes to this dodgy scheme, asshole" He pauses at the door, smirking "What choice do you have?" Pulling the door open, he gestures to the doorway "I need to get the rest of your outfit.  With an irritated sigh she gets out of the car, delighting in slamming both doors, and hissing eto piz`dets in his face as she stalks into the shop.   His deep delighted laugh following her in.

Several mad hours later Parker stares at herself in the mirror.  Jarod has explained he is pretending to be a wiseguy on the way up, looking at getting into arms dealing.  He is trying to find the source of a particular missile for some other undisclosed reason.  Her mission should she choose to accept it is to be his expensive Russian eyecandy for the evening.  He picked out her outfit, it was nothing she would ever have bought for herself, but she had to admit she looked stunning.  Cobalt blue silk dress floated to the floor and encased her to the wrists and throat.  The complete lack of anything resembling a back, and the split that went so high she had forgone panties to get the full effect of course were designed to draw all eyes in the room to her.

She smiled, if he thought he was going to get a pliant armful he had another think coming.  Having spent time drinking her way across Russia one summer, she had a good feel on how to play this, and pliant had no part of it.  A wicked smile on her face she turned to answer the knock on her door.

Jarod strode into the room, clad in his best partygoing wiseguy outfit, pulling on a pair of expensive black leather gloves "Ready to go, Natasha?" It was the name she had chosen for this evening With what sounds like a choke, he stands there, staring at her as she does a slow turn and then sashays up to him, to whisper in his ear with a very thick russian accent "Lets get this the fuck over with, rat boy" Bundling the glorious full length fur in her arms and shoving it in his still startled ones "I am *only* doing this for the shoes" The part about his silence is unmentioned by them both.

She swears his hands tremble as he holds the fur out for her to slide into












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