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I wanted to do it. I really, really wanted to do it. I wanted to kill Lyle with everything in me. Almost. Because in the moments when I had him at my mercy, I remembered killing Damon. In the middle of rage, pain, and desire for revenge screaming at me to pull the trigger, I remembered the emptiness and horror I had had after Damon was dead. For once I didn’t trust my feelings. I chose to trust Sydney’s wisdom and my own brain telling me that killing Lyle wouldn’t help my pain; it would only give me more pain.