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Author's Chapter Notes:
A little shorter than usual. But enjoy! :-)

8

There is a very short period of time between that first moment when two people realize that they are about to kiss and the actual meeting of their lips. Although that moment is usually filled with excited anticipation, for it to be stretched for too long is a sure road towards disaster.

So Jarod knew that every second he’d hesitate would take him farther away from kissing Miss Parker. He was so close that he could smell her perfume and feel the dampness of her hair and skin in the little air that was between them. His body was screaming for the touch of her skin, but a very unwelcome voice inside his head had already begun to protest.

She pulled back before he could. The last thing Miss Parker expected from men who were faced with the unique opportunity to kiss her without getting smashed in return was hesitation. They usually went about it like young dogs chasing their own tails and the erotic tension evaporated in the blink of an eye.

But now with Jarod, the tension was simply unresolved and she felt deeply dissatisfied. She didn’t feel particularly attractive right now and, aware of the fact that she did not have many qualities in character, she felt almost self-conscious under his suddenly scrutinizing gaze. Her looks were what fueled her self-confidence, but now that she didn’t feel sexy and in control anymore, her weak core showed.

Jarod realized that Miss Parker’s whole stance had suddenly changed completely. She was holding her scarred hand close to her body like a bird’s broken wing and he understood that she had taken up shielding it like that when it had been hurt. It seemed that now that she felt uneasy, she automatically returned to a posture she had adopted when she’d felt most vulnerable.

“Look... I...” he began, suddenly anxious to explain to her what was going on inside his head, but she simply turned toward the door.

“I was actually going to get some coffee anyway. Milk, two sugars, wasn’t it?” she asked, but didn’t wait for an answer before heading towards the door in two long steps and closing the door behind her.

Jarod turned around and found his gaze fastened by Amanda’s large reproachful eyes almost immediately.


Miss Parker had been heading for the coffee-machine, but stopped dead in her tracks before she had reached it. Unexpectedly exhausted, she heavily lowered herself to one of the empty seats that lined the hospital corridors to accommodate worried relatives. At this hour, the lights were lowered and the corridors were quiet and empty. She stared down at her hand and wondered whether it would ever really heal. The scar was still an angry red and even more so, now that she had been unconsciously squeezing her hand into an angry fist. It hurt especially where her long nails had dug themselves into the still vulnerable flesh.

She thought back to that night when she had cut herself. The amount of blood that had run down her hand and arm had been enormous and although she had been shocked, she had marveled at its rich red quality and the way it had welled out and run down her pale arm.

Jarod had refused to kiss her and she had to admit to herself that her good spirits during the last hours prior to Amanda’s seizure had not only been caused by her close contact to the little girl but also by the prospect of... of something with Jarod.

Miss Parker wasn’t one for romantic ideas of love. Since Thomas she solely lived for the moment and did not dare to even consider what lay beyond the horizon. Sill, she had felt herself longing for Jarod.

That very moment, she felt the chill for the very first time. It was cold and she needed a hot shower and a bed. But where? Going back to Jarod would be beyond humiliating right now. She, his unforgiving huntress, had practically begged him to kiss her and he had rejected her! Was there anything worse?

“You’re still here?”

She looked up and found herself faced with the doctor from the park once again. He now sported a white coat along with a sign that identified him as Marcus Jones, M.D..

“And you,” she replied weakly.

He sat down next to her and smiled apologetically. “I hope you’re not still here because I couldn’t drive you home.”

She shrugged and didn’t snap as she’d usually have, but remained calm instead.

“It wasn’t your fault that an emergency came in. Was it bad?”

“Turned out to be a girl who’d cut her finger with a broken bottle. Stitched it up and she was ready to go.”

“Good for you,” she said and for a moment wondered what it would be like to have a job that gave back to you once in a while instead of slowly draining you of all hope for a better future.

“With all this rain I was wondering whether you might need a warm-up as badly as I do,” he said and she found the note of hesitation in his tone cute. He didn’t seem to be doing this too often.

“There’s this very nice restaurant just right around the corner. They have the best whites in town.”

“I’d love to, but I’m afraid they won’t let me in like this.”

He seemed to be noticing her desolate state for the first time and reacted with a somewhat bewildered shrug.

“You just look a little wet to me.”

He winked at her at - to her surprise- made her laugh.


Jarod stepped into the hall, looking for Miss Parker. He was still confused at his own reaction- why hadn’t he just kissed her? How many dreadful nights had he been unable to fall asleep because he’d been thinking of her? Especially when her day’s outfit had been particularly revealing again... Sadly, this happened far too often. And when he had kissed the first woman apart from their chaste kiss when they’d been kids- hadn’t he been secretly imagining it was her?

So why on earth was he acting so stupidly now? He of all people should know how used Miss Parker was to rejection- and how she reacted to it.

There she stood in the hallway, still dripping with water but once again radiating the confident beauty he found so fascinating about her. A man stood in front of her, his back towards Jarod and was talking to her. Was he the cause for the smile on her face?

Even before Jarod had finished that thought, he found himself awash with jealousy.

Even from his position a few meters away from them, he could see the flirty look in her eyes. His heart contracted and for the first time in his life, the Pretender experienced the horrible sting of jealousy.


“I’d prefer to look a little more appealing on our first date,” the woman said and smiled one of her cryptic little smiles. He returned the smile, finding himself mesmerized by her. She looked so much like her- how could that be?

“So you’ll stay in Portland for a while?” he asked, unaware of the almost begging tone in his voice.

“I guess,” she shrugged. “I could use a little holiday.”

He couldn’t resist touching her shoulder but withdrew immediately when he felt her wince slightly.

“I’m...” he began, but she was already leaning forward. He could feel her breath on the skin of his neck for a short moment before her soft lips brushed his cheek in a quick kiss.

“I’ll see you around.”

He couldn’t help but stare after her when she starting walking, leaving him with a business card slid into his left hand. Her steps were sure and long when she walked away from him towards a man that had just stepped out of a patient’s room. She went past him into the room without even acknowledging his presence.

The look the man gave Marcus before he shut the door was so dark that he would have died, if looks could kill. Marcus’ heart seemed to skip a beat. What a coincidence...


Jarod leaned by the door, watching Miss Parker at Amanda’s bedside. The woman was worse than a chamaeleon having gone from vulnerable lamb to maneater just to end up caring mother right now.

Amanda was sitting up in bed, holding on to Miss Parker’s hand once again. She seemed to be doing that a lot. Miss Parker slowly brushed a strand of hair away from Amanda’s face and whispered soothing words that obviously served to relax the little girl.

They didn’t help Jarod, though.

What is it you would have done?”

The sound of her seductively lowered voice rang in his ears and those alluring words kept repeating themselves in his head over and over again.

Maybe he hadn’t kissed her because he was afraid something would break between them? Maybe he had liked the tension between them and feared it would go away if it was resolved?

Or maybe he was just a stupid coward who feared that he would not be good enough for Miss Parker. Pausing for a moment, he realized that the answer was probably less complicated: He was simply afraid that they would hurt each other if they succumbed to their mutual desire.

Truthfully, both their hearts were scarred, they had both been exploited, let down and betrayed too many times for this to work. She deserved someone like Thomas who came without such darkness inside him. Someone who could make up for what she lacked due to other peoples actions.

They would only bring each other more pain and sorrow, so it would be better to stay away from each other - at least when it came to the romantic part.

Miss Parker gave Amanda a smile, then leaned over her to tuck her in and kiss her forehead.

“You better get some rest now and I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Amanda nodded and closed her eyes, still as silent as she had remained all the time since her mother’s death, but calmer looking.

Miss Parker lingered for a moment as if she didn’t want to leave, then walked towards Jarod. The softness had vanished from her eyes when she approached him, but she held his gaze.

Jarod felt a familiar weakness in his knees.

Don’t allow yourself to fall in love with her now!

“Shall we go home now?” she asked.

“Yes.”

He followed her to the car and there was only one thought that managed to cheer him up slightly: She might be eager to date that doctor tomorrow, but today she was going home with him.


Miss Parker sat on the sofa watching the pouring rain, that was once again splashing against the glass of the large windows.

A man had come and replaced the broken glass of the kitchen window and now Jarod sat in front of it, staring outside, looking just as gloomy as she felt.

Still, there was no trace of the rock-thrower and now that her concern about Amanda had been soothed, she found herself quite worried about the turn of events. What was going on? She sensed evil behind that scheme. She didn’t know who she was dealing with or why, but she was tired of evil following her everywhere she went.

She looked down at Amanda’s teddybear that she had picked up on the way back to the house, so she could give it to her in the morning. The girl needed her help. No time to get confused by maniacs throwing rocks or cute doctors or...

Her gaze wandered towards the kitchen where Jarod had taken up making himself a sandwich. She watched his big hands go about the task and felt another stabbing pain in her heart. He hadn’t kissed her.

Far too used to rejection, she had never in her life leaned into someone if she hadn’t been absolutely sure he would actually kiss her. She had never been disappointed- until now.

The pain became worse and she couldn’t help but hiss and press her hand against her chest. What was this about?

Jarod turned around and his gaze became worried when he saw her.

“Are you okay?” He was next to her within an instant.

“I... think so.”

The pain vanished a quickly as it had come and she straightened up, embarrassed by her display of weakness.

“I’m going to bed.”

“You should eat something. You eat very little.”

She cocked an eyebrow at him and got up. “Always. Good night, Jarod.”

She had nearly reached the door when he called her back.

“Good night, Miss Parker.”

Only when she had arrived upstairs in her room, she realized that his words had sounded like something else.

... to be continued ...










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