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14

Angela handed Jarod a cup of coffee and shook her head like a forbearing mother.

“You look like you had a rough night.”

He shrugged. “You could say that.”

“Is it possible that your state is related to Miss Parker’s turning up here last night?”

Jarod looked to the far side of the room where Miss Parker sat on the floor next to Amanda and read a book to her. She had one arm around the girl’s shoulder and was holding the book with the other hand. When it was time to turn the pages Amanda would look up at Miss Parker for approval and then turn to the next page.

When Jarod didn’t reply, Angela sipped her own coffee to give him time to craft an appropriate answer and, much more important, manage to take his eyes off his guest. It was pretty obvious that he was in love with her or, for they hadn’t met too long ago, at least had a major crush on her.

Miss Parker’s feelings were far more difficult to interpret. She held back largely and always seemed a little cold and withdrawn except when she was with Amanda.

Jarod now turned back to Angela and saw the twinkle in her eyes, although she made a belated attempt to hide it.

“You know it, don’t you?”

She couldn’t help but smile, but still pretended to have no idea what he was talking about: “Know what, Jarod?”

He smiled back, very well aware of the fact that she was trying to make him say it out loud.

“That I’m completely in love with her.”

“It’s not easy to ignore it.”

Jarod blanched slightly. “Is it that obvious?”

“Only to the old and experienced like me. You know you should really tell her.”

He shook his head. “She’ll go back home to her job and that will be that.”

A sad look had come over Angela’s face. “If you love her, you should really tell her. Maybe she’ll stay.”

Jarod was an intuitive person himself and consequently aware of the sadness that had suddenly come over her. “Are you alright?”

She nodded and gave a mirthless laugh. “I am. It’s been a while but...” She looked up at the gentle man who seemed the exact counterpoint to the sharp woman who sat only meters away from them, barely out of earshot if they lowered their voices like they did now.

He was such a trusting person and her instincts had never betrayed her. And what was so wrong about telling him something so very personal?

“A while ago I had a major fight with my aunt. Our mothers were very close and so I was even named after her. We got even more close after my mother’s death but then one day we got into an argument and I left. I never called her and when one evening she called me, I put her on voice-mail. The next morning Marcus came over to tell me she’d had a stroke that night. I listened to my voice-mail and there she was, telling me simply that she loved me. I guess she knew already that she had to die and I... I wished I had told her that I loved her, too.”

She noticed that she had begun to ramble slightly towards the end and shrugged apologetically.

“So when I see someone who is in love, I tell them...” she pressed her hand against her mouth, took a deep breath and accepted Jarod’s comforting hand on her shoulder.

“You get the picture,” she spoke from gritted teeth. “My aunt always sat in the rose garden by the hospital in her later years. The least I could do was fund a sign that would serve as a memento for her.”

Jarod put one arm around Angela’s shoulder and pulled the smaller woman towards her.

“I think you’re right, Angela. But I really can’t tell Miss Parker. I would only hurt her.”


“Ah. Aren’t we missing something?”

Sydney looked up at a smug Lyle who had nonchalantly placed his hand on the door frame. Broots who had been engrossed in some IT problem turned around, terrified by the silkiness of his voice. Sydney felt a pang of sympathy for the little man. If Broots was afraid of Miss Parker, Lyle evoked an even worse sort of terror inside him.

“What should we be missing?” he asked, pointedly. Sydney wasn’t afraid of Miss Parker’s brother at all. He just saw how messed-up his mind was and felt somewhat sorry for the lost soul teasing mean Lyle had turned out to be.

“Ah,” Lyle exclaimed. “And there I went assuming that the infamous trio should consist of three people.”

“Semantics, Lyle,” Sydney said, barely looking up from his file. Inside he was boiling with rage already. Finally Miss Parker seemed to have taken the vacation he had been trying to talk her into for the last two years and now her brother came creeping about to ruin even that for her.

“Well, where is my cute little sister?” Lyle said in a cheerful tone that made him sound like an aspiring Shakespearean actor.

“On vacation,” Sydney answered, barely able to prevent himself from speaking through gritted teeth.

“Vacation?” Lyle managed to sound surprised although he couldn’t be. The Centre’s radar functioned very well so that everybody knew everybody’s whereabouts. Lyle probably even knew Miss Parker’s room-number in whatever hotel she was staying.

“I can just see her in some fancy spa,” Lyle said with a joyful glee in his eyes. “Facials, massages, the hot-tub...”

He directed his predatory gaze at Broots, smiling. “Can’t you?”

Broots was trembling with fear and Sydney was so angry that he stood up forcefully and walked over to where Lyle was standing behind Broots.

“Mr. Lyle we are very busy indeed. Would you mind leaving us to our tasks?”

Lyle turned around. “You have no idea where she is, have you?”

Sydney sighed. “She deserves some privacy I suppose. Do you know where she is?”

Lyle hesitated before he gave a dismissive shrug and Sydney knew. Lyle didn’t know either. While he watched the intimidating man’s retreating back, a feeling of joy came over him. The Centre obviously had no idea where Miss Parker spent her undefined period of vacation. He grinned to himself, elated at the prospect of the Centre’s officials scrambling about trying to find out about Miss Parker’s whereabouts while she was somewhere, sipping a cocktail and enjoying herself.


Marcus Jones entered the on-call-room and sank into the solitary chair that was the only piece of furniture besides the ever uncomfortable bed that was supposed to keep the doctors from sleeping too soundly and through a possible alert.

He stretched his tired legs and arms and gazed at the clock. Ten past six. His shift would end at eight and if he was lucky, his patients would all make it through the early morning hours without any emergencies.

He felt drained by the night’s events: One patient had gone into cardiac-arrest and it had taken all out of him to save his life while another patient had died because of internal bleeding that could not have been prevented. Sometimes matters of life and death were simply down to luck and that was something he had never been willing to accept.

His thoughts wandered back to Miss Parker and her holding Amanda in her arms. In his mind, her hard face was blurring so that it resembled Mary’s soft features more clearly. Miss Parker was also thinner than Mary, but towards the end of her life, Mary had also lost a few pounds.

His heart contracted. How could he dare find another woman attractive? And a suspicious one like Miss Parker? It hadn’t been easy to trace her story, but it seemed to be the truth. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

How did he get into this? He had resolved to keep away from this Miss Parker and just let her be, but it seemed that he simply couldn’t get her off his mind.

He wondered whether his attraction was mainly sexual since he hadn’t been with a woman for a long time, or whether it was the fact that she had so many opposites about her. It felt as if her personality was a construction of paradoxes. Feelings features characteristics that seemed impossible combined in one person.

She had the air of independence, while the looks she had given that Jarod guy had been filed with need. Her eyes were cold but her touch was so warm. She seemed to hate to be touched but she held Amanda so close.

He could have gone on forever- Marcus had always been drawn to complicated women. A fact that hadn’t made his life very easy in regard to relationships. They had all failed quickly because the women had turned out to be too complicated for any man to handle.

And then there had been Mary. Mary- more out of reach than any of her predecessors. He buried his face in his hands while tiredness crept up inside him.

He needed to talk to Angela about this. Angela who -like his mother used to have- always had an open ear to his problems and gave more comfort than anyone else could.

He thought of little Amanda and felt the familiar feeling in his chest. Things just couldn’t have gone more wrong. He ought to make it right this time, but he just couldn’t summon up the strength.


Jarod walked a few steps behind Miss Parker and Amanda while they strolled through the courtyard. The rain had stopped for a moment and the sound of the water dripping from branches and leaves enveloped them in a somewhat peaceful way.

Amanda had become even more silent and withdrawn since her abduction. The police had come and had failed to get even a whisper out of her although they had called some highly decorated child therapist. There was nothing they could have done and even searching the house hadn’t given them a clue about what had happened.

The blood on the attic-floor had not been Amanda’s, but since they didn’t have anything to match it with, the recovered sample had been stored in the lab for possible future comparisons although everybody seemed sure that it would never come to it.

Amanda’s abduction remained a mystery- just like the girl herself.

She looked unbelievably pale even next to Miss Parker. Her little hand was safe inside Parker’s and she looked up at the woman every now and then, seeking reassurance. Miss Parker had never struck Jarod as a fit guardian to a little child and when he had come up with the idea that she should help Amanda, he had anticipated far more trouble than had actually come.

Miss Parker looked almost peaceful and when he saw her in those moments, he couldn’t believe that she was the same life-hazard that usually waved her gun at him and yelled insults.

He still felt hung-over and the feeling of vertigo was accompanied by a major headache that neither coffee nor painkillers could completely chase away. If Miss Parker felt like this more often, he would not tease her that much in future since this state probably accounted for her being so irritable at times.

He was happy walking behind them now, left to his own thoughts.

The feeling of not being able to remember a part of the last evening made him uneasy. Who knew what he had told Miss Parker? There were few things she didn’t know about him anyway, but he still wondered why she seemed so distracted around him.

He remembered her coming in, his falling of the couch and the trace of amusement in her voice when she had commanded him upstairs.

She had obviously taken care of him because of the water and the painkillers on his night stand and she had come in to watch him sleep and bring him breakfast in the morning.

The warm feeling that spread through his stomach at that notion was as enjoyable as it was unwelcome.

Deep in his thoughts, he hadn’t realized that Parker and Amanda had slowed down when they had approached on of the barns that was home to a dozen of bunnies for the children. They hopped around cheerfully inside, enjoying the lot of space they had here.

Miss Parker reached out for one of them and held the little brown specimen in her arms. Amanda was obviously mesmerized by the furry little being, as every child would be, and petted its coat in wonder.

Jarod watched as they sat down on the bench and Miss Parker lifted the bunny into Amanda’s arms. The child looked up at her and Miss Parker smiled reassuringly.

She watched over the child for a while, then got up and pulled Jarod out of earshot.

“Still hung-over?” she asked teasingly, but more at ease than he had seen her all morning.

“Just a little queasy,” Jarod lied but he could see that she looked through him. For once she was polite enough not to rub it in his face.

“Good,” she answered instead. “She seems to like bunnies.”

Amanda looked up at them and Miss Parker gave a nod, so that she turned back to the animal.

“Indeed,” Jarod confirmed. “You did, too.”

She smiled again, probably setting a breathtaking new record for herself. “I still do. Otherwise I wouldn’t burden myself with all the trouble trying to find someone to feed Dr. Lecter when I’m away.”

Jarod looked puzzled. “Who is Dr. Lecter?”

“The rabbit you gave me for Christmas. Remember? Or did you give rabbits to all of your girls and can’t remember?”

Jarod grinned. “You still have him and you named him after a cannibalistic fictional psychiatrist.”

“Aren’t you a stunning little genius?” Miss Parker smirked.

“I thought you gave him away.”

“You don’t give presents away again,” she said.

Jarod felt somewhat elated at the though of Miss Parker actually holding on to something he had given her.

“Who’s taking care of Dr. Lecter right now?” he asked.

Miss Parker pulled a face. “My neighbor. I can assure you she is a real pain in the ass, but I have to be friendly so she will do the rabbit- sitting.”

“Friendly?” Jarod let the word hang in the air between them. Miss Parker’s idea of being friendly didn’t exactly fit the bill usually. She ignored his comment and looked at Amanda again who was still engrossed in her time with the rabbit.

“About last night...” Jarod began. “I... I still owe you an answer.”

“An answer for what?” Miss Parker replied defiantly and he could see she was tensing so he touched her shoulder lightly as he had taken up doing... when?

“It is okay. I’d just like to apologize. I was somewhat giving you a hard time. When you asked why we were constantly bickering... I... I guess I just don’t really know to deal with you differently when I...”

His words were running away with him and he had to stop himself before he said something he could not take back. The alcohol was mainly out of his system but its aftereffects still seemed to influence him.

Although he was trying not to, some fearnaught part of him just went forward.

“And you were right. I...” Last chance to stop yourself! But he couldn’t. It wanted out and Jarod knew that hormones were probably responsible for his demeanor.

“I am attracted to you.” Now that it was out he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

“I even want you. I want you so much, Miss Parker.”

While he’d had affairs before, he was still so inexperienced when it came to dealing with his feelings and desires that he could not prevent his hands from touching her. The touch was light and loving and not actually obtrusive, but he was still afraid she would feel that he was intruding on her space and withdraw.

True to her history of always doing the opposite of what one expected from her, Miss Parker responded to his touch and closed her eyes for a moment as if some weight had been lifted off her.

“It was about time...” she breathed in a sigh of relief and met Jarod’s lips when they descended upon hers. It was her content sigh that attracted Amanda’s attention and a split second later a scream cut into Jarod’s happy moment and made the butterflies in his stomach crash. Miss Parker had approached the little girl before he actually knew what was happening and he followed rather sheepishly.

Amanda’s eyes were wide open and she was trembling while the rabbit had jumped out of her lap, frightened.

“Get the rabbit, Jarod!” Miss Parker commanded while she was trying to calm the child and Jarod threw himself into a chase for the little animal that was much faster and adapt than he had expected.

While Miss Parker was holding on to Amanda, she watched Jarod fall over about three times while he was trying to grab the rabbit. It wasn’t easy to tell who was more out of breath when he finally brought his furry prey back and dropped it back into the barn.

“What the hell?” Jarod gasped and Miss Parker couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of him.

“Look at that, Amanda,” she said and the little girl finally lifted up her head and surveyed Jarod who was sprayed with mud. His jeans were muddy on the knees and his hair was dripping.

Miss Parker winked at him over the top of Amanda’s head and the little girl finally relaxed.

“I think we should go back and see to Jarod getting a shower, shouldn’t we?”

Amanda nodded and got to her feet, still trembling a bit.

Damn- how could Miss Parker talk to a little girl and still manage to make her innocent words sound like an invitation directed at him, Jarod thought and grimly trudged back to the house after them.


When Jarod returned from his solitary shower, Miss Parker had made coffee. With her the task seemed almost too domestic. Of course she probably did that every morning, but for someone who only knew her in designer suits and high heels it seemed hard to imagine.

She handed him a steaming mug and sat down on the sofa. After their earlier brief but passionate kiss they were both a little bit taken-aback, somewhat unsure how to deal with each other.

They drank their coffee in silence, just watching each other over the edges of their cups.

After a while, Miss Parker broke the silence.

“Did you wonder, too, why she screamed when she saw us kissing?”

He shrugged. “Maybe she doesn’t like me.”

Parker shook her head. “I don’t think that is it. She doesn’t show much animation anyway, so I guess that could be related to the night her mother died. Just like her fear when the door slammed and it sounded like a gunshot to her.”

Jarod nodded. He had been thinking along those lines, too.

“But why should a display of affection scare her? There’s nothing brutal or possibly murderous about a kiss.”

“Not if you don’t know about the Centre relations anyway...” Miss Parker muttered to herself.

“Excuse me?”

“Never mind... you’re right on that count, but what if there was a third person in the room?”

“One Stella’s ex-husband didn’t shoot?” Jarod looked doubtful. “Does it make any sense not to kill a witness?”

Parker shrugged. “You’re right. It doesn't.”

There was silence for another moment during which Jarod’s thoughts wandered back to their kiss and his confession. He hadn’t exactly said that he loved her, for which he was very grateful, because admitting that you want somebody physically didn’t necessarily imply that you want some sort of relationship. Still, he regretted his actions which complicated everything.

When he snapped out of his thoughts, Miss Parker had put her cup of coffee on the coffee table and looked at him intently.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Oh, nothing... it’s just...”

Yeah- what? ‘I kissed you and I wish I didn’t because I would rather stay away from you?’ Not good. If he actually said that, there was a lot of explaining to do. And she probably wouldn’t understand what he meant.

Miss Parker looked at the anguish in Jarod’s eyes and wondered whether it was somehow related to their kiss earlier. With trying to calm Amanda down, they hadn’t had a lot of time to talk about it. Even on their ride back home Jarod had been rambling about his chasing the rabbit, so that they hadn’t even touched the topic.

Miss Parker really couldn’t help herself for she was longing to kiss him again. Without interruptions...

She usually got what she wanted with men and it irritated her that Jarod didn’t do anything right now but just remained silent and looking stricken. That was just not how it usually went. While it put her off, it attracted her at the same time because she usually wasn’t interest in things she could get just like that.

She decided that it was time to stop pondering the situation and just go forwards with it. She gently disengaged Jarod’s hands from the coffee-mug and set it aside. He looked at her and if he didn’t look exactly frightened, he hesitated before he closed in on her.

She felt his breath on her skin and couldn’t get herself to wait any longer before she leaned forward to kiss him.

She felt like a teenager since she had not in recent time spent so much time just sitting there holding hands and kissing without speaking a word. Still after a while she broke the kiss, sort of breathless and then leaned forward to whisper in his ear: “Didn’t you say you want me?”


When Miss Parker woke up, she smiled before she had even opened her eyes. She hadn’t felt this good for ages... She stretched her arms and legs like a cat and then sat up, still wrapped in the sheets. The bed next to her was empty.

“Jarod?” she called out, but did not receive a response. She looked at the alarm-clock and found that it was seven o’clock in the morning. Maybe he was already in the kitchen making breakfast? She quickly shrugged into her robe and went downstairs barefoot.

Only a few minutes later she realized that the house was empty. She sat down at the table in the living-room and shook her head. It wasn’t like Jarod to just go anywhere without telling her. What was wrong?

And how could anything be wrong after last night? It felt as if something that had been long destined to happen finally had, but was he thinking along the same lines?

No, Miss Parker decided. He definitely wasn’t.

It was only now that she discovered the piece of paper on the table that displayed Jarod’s handwriting telling her what she had been dreading to learn: “I’m running- please don’t chase me this time. I hope you understand.”

Devastated, Miss Parker buried her face in her hands. This could not be happening.

...to be continued...

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