by Mindwalker78

Miss Parker entered her cabin after another day in hell with her happy family. She put her keys on the table and spun around, startled by the unmistakeable click of a gun. She pulled out her Smith and Wesson and aimed at the figure standing oddly still in the darkness.

"Go ahead! Shoot me! I don't care!" the voice was un-mistakeable, it was Jarod, though he sounded different; no playful tone, no teasing.

With her gun still trained on his head, he stepped out of the shadows and Miss Parker gasped. It was Jarod, but more a "Living Dead Jarod." There were dark circles under his eyes, he was unshaven, his hair was touseled, and he sported dirty, torn clothing. But what worried her the most was the dead look in his eyes. He aimed his revolver at her, and when he took another step toward her, she realized that he had not loaded the gun.

"Go ahead! Shoot!" he shouted. he thought dejectedly, growing angrier by the minute, and Parker stepped back in shock.

Suddenly Jarod dropped his gun, his eyes rolled back in his head, and he collapsed onto the hardwood floor. Parker tried to catch him, but his unconscious body was too heavy for her. She laid her gun down on the floor beside Jarod and rooled him onto his back. She shook him gently, but when he did not wake up, she slapped his face, waking him abruptly.

Jarod tried to focus on something, and when he saw Parker's face worried face staring down at him, he wanted to laugh. Unfortunatly, he was out of witty retorts.

"What the hell is going on here?" she demanded, helping him to his feet, and over to the couch.

"Why didn't you just shoot me? It would have made it a lot easier."

"What are you babbling about? Did you discover drugs or something?" Parker retorted and sat beside him. "Your gun wasn't even loaded." she added, but Jarod did not seem to hear her. He leaned back and closed his eyes, completely exhausted. Before he could drift off to sleep, Parker poked him in the ribs

with her elbow.

"Hey! You're going to explain what's going on here or..."

"Or what?" Gonna kill me? Fine, go ahead." he bit out, his eyes still closed.

"O.K., that's it. I'm calling the Centre, and they can deal with you." she said and added silently, 'Where you belong.'

She stood and walked over to the phone, sitting next to him on the table. As she started to dial, Jarod stood up and grabbed her gun from the floor.

"I'm going back there! Ever!" he shouted, aiming the gun at his head.

"Jarod..." Parker said warningly, slowly putting down the telephone receiver, holding out her hand to him, hoping he would take it.

"Jarod, for God's sake put the gun down!" she pleaded, not knowing what else to say. There were times when she wanted to shoot or maybe even kill him, but now, he was scaring her. The look in his eyes, his body language, everything about his strange behavior was making her nervous.

he thought sadly.

There were many times back at the Centre when he thought about bringing an end to his life at his own hand, but he had never been brave enough to carry out any of those plans. That is why he had come here tonight, to her. She could do it. She was a trained killer, hell, she was one of pretenders, though she did not know it. he prayed as they stodd face to face, his eyes pleading with her, but his wishes still going unheard.

"Jarod, listen." she said softly, her voice bringing him back to the present. "Life is worth too much for you to throw it away like this."

She heard herself saying the words, but she did not know where they were coming from.

"Why?" he asked dumbly, his hand shaking, and he pushed the gun harder to his temple.

"Why what?" she asked, her tone gentle, he had never heard this from her.

"Why did he..." he trailed off, tears welling in his eyes, and he fought hard for self control.

"Why did who do what?" she asked, confused, and stepped closer to him, trying hard not to starle him.

Jarod closed his eyes, his lips trembling, and tears coursed down his cheeks. He clenched his teeth and Parker saw the muscles in his arm tighten.

"Don't do it. Please, Jarod." she begged, and he opened his eyes and looked into her own.

She could not hold his gaze any more and dropped her eyes to the floor, her hand still reaching out to him, for him to give her the gun.

"I came here so you can end my life. It's not worth anything."

"Stop that, Jarod!" she shouted, and once again found the strength to look into his eyes.

"I'm not Jarod. I don't know what they did with him."

"You Jarod to me." she said softly, now within reach of the gun.

She gently put her hands over his, slowly pulling the gun away from his temple. She peeled his shaking fingers off of the gun, let the clip fall to the floor, kicking it away with her foot, and tossed aside the gun. Her other hand still holding his.

"What happened?" she repeated gently.

His whole body was shaking and he sat down on the couch, his head buried in his hands. He took a breath and replied, "I can't..."

Parker stepped in from of him and gently ruffled his hair while he sobbed. He reached out and pulled her to him, burying his head in her belly, his arms encircling her waist. She did not resist, she simply stroked his head, neck, and back, as far as she could reach. She felt his hot tears soak her shirt and fought down her own tears. This was not the Jarod she knew, not even in the early days at the Centre, had he had a breakdown like this.

A thousand thoughts ran through Jarod's mind before everything was blissfully blank. There was nothing except her warm, soft body cradling him to her, and her gentle fingers stroking the back of his head. For now, nothing else mattered.

****

After a while, his breathing returned to normal, and he loosened his tight grip on her. Parker caressed his hair one last time, and them pulled away, taking a seat beside him on the couch. Jarod swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to form words, but he only opened his mouth a few times. Parker watched him carefully, stood, and went to the kitchen to get him something to drink. Her hand shook slightly as she handed him the glass, and Jarod had trouble not spilling the water. He mumbled something resembling and "Thanks" and brought the glass to his lips, taking a sip. Meanwhile, Parker walked to the window and pulled the curtains shut as Jarod began to speak.

"My father...I'm afraid I might become like him..." he began, but Parker did not really understand what he was talking about, and turned to face him, confused.

I...ran a sim. I went into his head. I...became a witness of..." he stopped, but Parker already knew what he was going to say. "I don't want to become him."

"We don't become our parents. Even if we want to. We are all our own person."

"You don't understand." he stood up and began pacing the length of the room. "When I was him, when I followed Catherine, it was like I was walking after . LIKE I'D KILL YOU, damnit! So you get it now?" he asked, his voice raised, probably loud enough to be heard at the Centre, several miles away.

"I'd never forgive myself if I ever hurt you." he added, his voice softer, his gaze dropping to the ground, to the walls, anywhere except her eyes.

Parker stepped into his way, and caught his arm, turning him around to face her, replying, "I'm not afraid of you. I you'd never be like him. Jarod, I know . Please believe me."

Her voice expressed more emotion than most people had ever heard from her, much less believed existed. "Don't go crazy over this." she pleaded, cupping his cheeks with her hands, forcing his head up, his eyes to look at her. Her expression proved the words she spoke to him and Jarod felt his knees go weak again. He turned away from her and walked away from her a bit. He shook his head and waved his arms in the air, thinking about what to say to her.

"I..." he began, "From what I found out, my dad was a tender husband and father. He was a normal person, no one spoke badly of him...but he shot your mother! There was...I saw no reason when I was him, why he should have done it...but he shot her in ."

"Jarod, you don't have all of the answers. Maybe something happened...events can change people...we don't why..."

"Right! WE DON'T KNOW. What's saying that the same thing won't happen to me? Tell me!" he interrupted. He looked away and whispered, "I'm afraid of myself."

Parker grabbed his arm once more and held his face firmly in her hands. "Stop this! If you don't, you'll destroy yourself!"

"See?" he took hold of her wrists and pulled them away from his face, holding them at her sides, gripping them painfully. "Don't you see? It's already begun."

"No!" she cried, holding his gaze. "We only had a fight! That's only human!"

"But what if I can't control my emotions?"

"Jarod, don't you understand? You might be in a great rage, but the little voice in your head will always tell you to do what's right. That's what they tried to kill in not you! You control your feelings and you'll never forget how to! Even if you can't be in control." she argued, realizing the irony in her last statement.

The End - or is it?