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Author's Note: This is a shippy story, but it does answer something that has always made me wonder. If Jarod and Miss Parker were so close as kids, why aren't they anymore? And, if you call now, I'll throw in a free first name for Miss Parker. Yes you heard me right, a 19.95 value, yours, for this one time low price :-)
When She Loved Me
My alarm clock goes off right by my ear. I fumble around to turn it off. With a smack on its top the incessant noise stops and I drag myself out of bed. What it wrong with me today? It as if my body doesn't want me to get out of bed today. I wonder why?
I shuffle into the kitchen and fix a pot of coffee. The strong aroma brings me more to my senses. When the pot is done I move to the fridge to get out some milk. As I open the door something catches my eye. The calendar I have up on the fridge door stares back at me and I suddenly forget what I am doing. Now it is very clear why I had to force myself out of bed this morning. Some how I must have known that today is the anniversary of the worst day of my life.
I stumble back and catch myself. This shouldn't affect me so much. After all, it has been over twenty years since that day. But like every year this day catches me off my guard. I can't help but to relive every painful moment in my mind. That is one curse of being able to play out any circumstance in my head, sometimes old memories get replayed.
I remember that day as if it were yesterday. It started out so perfectly.
When somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart
I had just finished my latest Sim. It was a rather easy one. They wanted me to predict the stock market weather for the next year. No biggie. After the sim I was free to do what I wanted. Sydney always made sure that I had some free time in the afternoon. Although, if any of the higher ups were to find that out they wouldn't be pleased. This afternoon I was waiting for her the way I did ever summer afternoon.
Miss Parker was right on time, as she was every time. She came to visit me every day when she wasn't away at school. She hadn't missed one day this summer. I awaited her visits with great joy. She technically wasn't supposed to even be down here, but she came anyway, despite consequences, to see me.
"Morgan, over here!" I whispered from the shadows. She smiled and moved towards me, careful to avoid any watching cameras.
She looked beautiful. She always had a way of making her drab clothing (the only kind her father would allow) look absolutely wonderful. Her gray skirt and blue blouse were accented by her dark hair and warm, sky blue eyes. I imagined, at least, that her eyes were the color of the sky. I knew it to be blue, and from the way she described it to me on some of our many conversations, its greatness could only be suited to be the color of her eyes. I didn't know any color that could do it such justice, I still don't.
"Come with me." She whispered in my ear when she got close enough. I followed her.
"Where are we going?"
"It's a surprise." Her smile now was one of playful mischief.
We walked along many back corridors. The Centre was such a maze of twists and turns I was suprised that she had any idea where we were.
After twenty minutes of taking back ways around cameras and avoiding sweepers stationed around the halls I could see a light around the next corner. Not the standard issue neon light of the Centre lighting, but a soft, bright light.
She put her hands over my eyes and led me around the corner.
"Tada!" She let go.
I stood facing a giant window. It looked onto what I assumed to be the back of the centre. An expanse of wooded forest behind a grassy meadow greeted my eyes. The blue sky seemed a little dull compared to what I had imagined it to be.
I turned around to face her, my smile now as big as hers. "Morgan! How did you find this?" I quickly turned back to the window, absorbing the sight before me.
"Angelo found it actually, but he wanted me to show it to you."
We stood there in comfortable silence for a couple more minutes. "Jarod, we need to talk."
I tore my gaze from the window and to her face. I didn't like the tone of her voice. "What is it?" I asked cautiously.
She took a deep breathe and stepped closer to me. "It's beautiful isn't it?" I nodded still confused. "I knew that you would like it. There is so much more like that out there. And I think that you should be able to see it all...with me." She added quickly.
I was incredibly confused by then, I think she could see it in my eyes.
"They are going to send me away Jarod. They, my father, want me to go away to college."
"You can come back on breaks like you always do." I tried to reason. What was the big deal about going away to college? She already went away to boarding school, what's the difference?
"They are sending me to Tokyo."
My eyes widened. She continued, "They found out about all the time I spend down here, they weren't too happy. They think that I distract you. They are going to send me far away. They are hoping that while I am gone I'll forget about you. But I can't forget about you. Never." She looked at me intently, "Do you get what I am saying?"
"They can't keep us apart!" I was suddenly afraid that I would never see her again. A sick feeling came over me, things would never be the same.
"Yes they can...unless we stop them."
"What do you mean?"
"Run away with me Jarod. They can't keep us apart if we are out of their grasp."
"What?" I was taken aback. Run away from the Centre? That was a little drastic, and very dangerous.
"I just have a feeling that if we don't leave now, we'll never get away. They'll tear us apart. Jarod I...I...I love you. I can't lose you."
And when she was sad
I was there to dry her tears
and when she was happy so was I
when she loved me
Tears welled up in my eyes. I had always known that we loved each other, but since the death of her mother all those years ago she had been very emotionally closed off. I knew what it cost her to say that. It made me so happy and so sad all at the same time.
"I love you too. You know I do, but run away? Why would you want to run away? What about your Father? Sydney? The Centre would find us. The only way to make sure that they never could would be to cut off all ties to The Centre, including the people we love. And what about all the work I still have to do. All the people left to save?"
"You don't want to leave?" Tears were clearly running down her face now.
"Hey," I took her hand, "I just don't think that we have to do something to drastic. Nothing could keep us apart. Not Tokyo, not The Centre, no one, nothing." I wiped the tears off her face with my free hand, "You can find a way to come back on breaks. We'll still have summer vacation. We have made it through all of these years just having those precious moments together, we can do it for a couple more. Some day, when my work is done, I know they'll let me go. Then we can be together. Forever."
Through the summer and the fall
we had each other that was all
just she and I together
like it was meant to be
and when she was lonely
I was there to comfort her
and I knew that she loved me
She smiled again at me. I thought at that moment, that no matter what happened, no matter what they threw at us, together we would survive.
"I have to go soon, Daddy will be wondering where I went." She leaned in and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips. "I love you, always."
She smiled one last time and disappeared into the shadows as I looked after her.
"I love you too."
She didn't come the next day. Or the next. The only information I could get from Sydney was that he had been told that her father had sent her away shortly after we talked.
I waited for her Thanksgiving return. She didn't come. That was ok, she must have just been too busy with family to stop by. Then came Christmas, winter break, Easter, and finally summer vacation. She never came to see me. Every day she was supposed to be back I waited in the shadows of our usual meeting place.
After three years went by and she didn't come back, I knew that she must not have wanted to. You see, if she had really wanted to see me she would have. A Parker always get what she wants. She had forgotten about me, just like they said she would. And I was left behind, still holding on to our love.
So the years went by
I stayed the same
but she began to drift away
I was left alone
still I waited for the day
when she'd say
I will always love you
It was many years later when I saw her again. Centre gossip told me that after college she had been given a job at the corporate after doing some sweeper work for her father. She was so close to me, but so far away. I guess it shouldn't have surprised me when I saw her.
Sydney and I were on our way to somewhere, I'm not sure exactly where, but I do remember what happened next. I was lost deep in thought, contemplating my next sim. Sydney was saying something to me.
I guess I forgot to watch where I was going. In a flutter of papers and folders I ran into some one who must have been lost in thought too. I didn't even look up before I bent down to help pick up the papers. The person I ran into was muttering some obscenities under her breath. I spotted a pink sheet of paper. I reached over to pick it up at the same time she did. Our hands touched. Instantly a shock ran through my body. It was something I hadn't felt in a long time. She must have felt it too because next thing I knew her beautiful blue eyes were staring back into mine.
"Jarod." She breathed, her eyes widening. For a second I thought she was going to either hug me or shoot me, I don't know which. I also saw a pain in her eyes that I had never seen before.
"Morgan." I replied. I was so happy to see her. I had missed her so much.
She immediately straightened standing up, "That is Miss Parker to you." She snapped. "You better remember that."
With a huff she stomped away. Any emotion I had seen in her eyes was gone. That confirmed the other rumor the Centre gossip mill had provided me, that the little Morgan everyone had known and loved was never the same after the day she asked me to run away with her. She became what the techs referred to as an Ice Queen.
Lonely and forgotten
never thought she'd look my way
and she smiled at me
and held me
just like she used to do
like she loved me
when she loved me
With that stomp as she ran out of my reach I could feel my heart breaking. I lost any hope that we would be together forever. Now all I am left with is the memory of what it was like to love her, and to have her love me back. The way she smiled at me. Her delicate touch. It was all gone now.
So each year I allow myself one day to miss her. To love her. You'd think that after all of this time I would be over it, I would have moved on, but I never could. You never move on from loving your soul mate.
I don't know what happened to her while she was gone to make her hate me so much. The last words she said to me were that she loved me. I had naively believed her. I guess that some part of me is still that naive kid. I still love her, and that part of me still hopes that maybe someday, just maybe, she'll love me too.
When somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart
When she loved me...
Note: I bet you never thought that Miss Parker would ever ask Jarod to run away with her and he would say no! hehe. The italic verses are from When She Loved Me by Sarah McLachlan.