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Chapter or Story
Promises
pretender_gurl
Miss Parker's Office
L-2: SIS
The Centre
April 21, 1994
16.24
Miss Parker threw her head back and sighed with frustration. She had finished the week-long surveillance sweep of the Centre and had been looking forward to going home. Then Sydney called for what seemed like the hundredth time that week. He was still insisting that she help Jarod. Now she was torn between childhood loyalties and her father's expectations.
Rolling her chair back, she unlocked the top drawer of her new desk. It held one item - her old diary. Opening to a random page, Miss Parker began to read.
May 13, 1980
One month ago today, my mommy died. Daddy said she was sick for a long time before she died, but I don't remember that about her. I remember all of the good times that we had together. I remember little things about her too, like her laugh, how she looked in her favorite dress, and the smell of her shampoo in her hair as she brushed it. But what I miss the most is having her arms around me when I was sad or scared.
I didn't have school today so Daddy brought me to the Centre so early in the morning that it was still dark outside. Big raindrops fell on the top of the car and trickled down the windows. I followed one with my finger, but Daddy yelled at me for touching the glass so I just traced the path with my eyes.
When we got to the Centre, I asked Daddy to come with me to visit Momma, but he said he was too busy. He said that if I went, I shouldn't stay for very long because I might get sick from the rain. I promised that I wouldn't, but Daddy didn't see that I had my fingers crossed behind my back.
In the first few weeks after Momma died, Sydney came with me to see her almost everyday. He said I shouldn't go out there alone, but today was a special day and I wanted it to just be me and Momma. I followed the path that Sydney and I took and found Momma very quickly. It was almost like she was calling to me.
I knelt on the wet grass, not caring that the mud stained my dress and tights. I told Momma about everything that I was doing - the school play, my special teacher, and Jarod.
Then I told her how much I miss her. I told her how Daddy is always working, and how I now have a room at the Centre because sometimes Daddy works through the night or goes on business trips and leaves me at the Centre where the Sweepers watch me. I told her that I almost prefer it when Daddy is gone because then I don't have to worry about him getting angry with me.
I realized that I was crying and then I remembered how Momma would hold me when I was sad and that made me cry harder. I wanted to feel her arms around me again and hear her comforting words as she smoothed back my hair. I moved closer to the headstone and curled up beside it, not caring that the rain had soaked through my coat or that I was shivering. I just wanted to be close to Momma.
I don't remember falling asleep, but the next thing I knew, Sydney was shaking me. I tried to tell him to leave me alone, but my mouth couldn't seem to form the words. Sydney said a bad word and then lifted me in his arms. I remember looking down and seeing a bouquet of flowers on the ground and realized that Sydney must have come out to see my mommy too.
Sydney carried me into the Centre, calling out for help. He took me to a room that was all white and smelled funny. Sydney started prodding me - listening to me breathing with a stethoscope and taking my temperature. He stuck a thermometer in my mouth and said the bad word again when he read it. A nurse took off my wet clothes and covered me in a blue hospital gown. I tried to push her away from me, but I felt so sleepy. My eyelids felt like lead and I couldn't keep them open.
The next thing I remember, I woke up in the same white room, but this time I felt much better.
"Miss Parker!" someone called.
I turned and was surprised to see Jarod sitting in the chair beside my bed.
"Jarod? What are you doing here? What am I doing here?" I asked through a dry throat.
"Sydney said I could come. You were experiencing early signs of hypothermia from being out in the wind and rain. We were really worried," Jarod said, speaking for Sydney and himself. Jarod reached out and took my hand in his. "I'm glad you're alright, Miss Parker."
Jarod stayed with me all day. Sydney brought him some work, but let him do it in the Infirmary. When he was done, we talked for a long time about our families and about death. We shared a lot in those few hours. It was like talking with Momma; I could say exactly what I was thinking and Jarod would understand.
"Jarod, let's make each other a promise," I said resolutely. "Let's promise to never leave each other. Then we can be like a family."
"I'd like that, Miss Parker."
Miss Parker looked up from the diary and smiled. They had sealed their promise by spitting in their hands before shaking them. Jarod had come to the Infirmary every day for the next three days that she stayed there for observation.
They had promised to always be there for each other. Jarod had kept his promise. Now it was time for her to do so.
Harbor Zoo
Dover, DE
16:48
Evelyn McCarthy smiled as she watched her husband jog towards the monkey exhibit followed by two giggling little girls - one with curly blonde hair and another with plaited dark brown hair. Evelyn pushed the stroller that held her gurgling baby boy at a more relaxed pace.
It had been a week since Jira came to stay with the McCarthys and it had been an incredible experience. Sydney had brought them a birth certificate for the girl that gave her the name Jayne Meredith Doe. He said the Centre would be conducting sweeps of local school registries and adoption proceedings searching for an eight year-old with the name 'Jira.' Sydney had given her a semi-generic name, but mentioned that Jayne's middle name was her mother's name. Jira liked the name and asked that the McCarthys call her 'Jayne.' Sydney seconded the idea by pointing out that taking on a new name was symbolic of leaving the past behind.
And Jira, now Jayne, was remembering much of her past. Sam, who woke very early in the morning would often find Jayne already awake in the kitchen where she was writing out complex differential equations and solving them. On the third morning of this, Sam asked her why she wasn't sleeping since it was only 3:45 in the morning.
"Mr. Raines comes when I sleep," had been her simple reply. She told him that the math problems helped her focus and relax.
Sydney came over every night and had supper with the McCarthys and then talked with Jayne. He would ask her permission to relay the information of their sessions with Sam and Evelyn. Jayne would always assent, but only after Sydney promised not to tell them the specifics of what had been done to her. Sydney had his suspicions about why she made this request, but it was not confirmed until Sam told him about their experience at the zoo.
In the monkey house, Lucy was bouncing around and imitating the monkeys while her father complimented the authenticity of her act. Meanwhile, Jayne was staring at the gorillas. Sam looked up and saw that one of the female gorillas was sitting two feet from the glass and staring back at Jayne. He silently walked up and stood beside Jayne.
"She looks so sad," said Jayne, who had seen Sam's approach in the glass's reflection. "Do you think she likes it in there?"
"I don't know. What do you think?" Sam asked.
"I think she wants to be free. I think she misses her home and her family. She hates it how people stare in at her and point, like she's just there for their amusement. I think she's angry with herself for what's happening to her," Jayne said with quiet anger.
Sam knelt down and put a hand on Jayne shoulder, turning her towards him. His heart clenched when he saw the tears running down her cheeks. He put his palms on her gaunt face and wiped her tears away with his thumbs.
"What happened at the Centre was not your fault, Jaynie," Sam said with confidence. "They never should have done those things to you."
"I should never have been created," Jayne whispered. "So everything that happened was my fault."
"What do you mean, kiddo?" Sam asked, though he now realized that Jira was ashamed of what Mr. Raines had done to her.
"I heard Mr. Raines thinking about me one day and so I used my abilities to Perceive my conception. I was interrupted, but I saw them create me in a test tube," she explained. "I'm nothing but an experiment."
"That's not true!" Sam said with such ferocity that Jayne flinched and jumped away from him. "That's not true, Jaynie. You are so special, and I'm going to prove it to you. Jaynie, would it be alright if Evelyn and I adopted you?"
Jayne just stared at him. "You - you want to be my daddy?"
"Sure I do! I mean, you can still call me Sam if you're not comfortable calling me Dad - "
But Sam didn't complete his sentence because at that moment, Jayne launched herself into his arms.
"I'd like that," she whispered into his neck.
"Me too, kid. Me too."
5th Street Apartment Complex
River Valley, North Carolina
17.23
The light turned green and Emily punched the accelerator on her rusty Jeep and pulled into the apartment complex garage. Please, let Mom be working late! she silently prayed to any deity who would listen. She grabbed her basketball gear and backpack and jogged to the lobby door.
"Shit!" Emily whispered under her breath when she found the mailbox to be empty. Maybe she hasn't looked at it yet, Emily hoped.
She dashed up the three flights of stairs to her apartment and dropped her gear beside the door as she fumbled with the lock on the front door. Just as Emily got the key in the lock, the door flew open.
"What is this?!" Margaret cried, holding up an envelope with Wesley seal in the upper left hand corner.
"It appears to be a letter," Emily said, pushing past her mother with her bags.
Emily kicked off her school shoes that she put back on after basketball practice. She went into the kitchen and refilled her water bottle, taking liberal gulps of the cool water.
"Emily, I thought we agreed that you weren't going to graduate early!" Margaret said, wiping up some of the water that Emily had spilled in her haste.
"No, you decided that I wasn't going to graduate early," Emily retorted. "Mom, I'm bored at school. I'm not challenged enough, I don't have any friends, and the teachers don't like me."
"They might like you better if you did their assignments and stopped correcting them in front of the class," Margaret said, bringing up an exhausted topic.
"Can I just read the letter? Maybe I wasn't even accepted!" Emily interrupted.
Margaret sighed and handed her daughter the letter. Emily's heart began to beat faster and her hands felt clammy as she fumbled with the envelope. When she had finally opened the envelope, Emily pulled out the letter and unfolded it slowly. She drew in a short breath as she began to read.
"Well?" Margaret asked anxiously.
"I got in," Emily whispered.
Margaret turned and collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table.
"They saw my perfect SAT and ACT scores and that talent scout, Mrs. McCarthy, talked to them about my basketball. They've offered me a full scholarship if I start in the fall," Emily said softly. "Mom, say something."
"I don't want you to go."
"I know, but are you going to hold me back?" Emily asked quietly.
"Emily, you don't understand. If it were anywhere else in the country I would be fine with it," Margaret said.
"What's wrong with Dover?"
"Not Dover, Blue Cove," Margaret whispered.
"The last place we saw Dad?" Emily asked in confusion. "Blue Cove is close to Dover?"
Margaret nodded.
Emily sank into the chair across from her mother and put the letter on the table. She put her elbows on the table and her head between her hands.
"So this is about Jarod and Kyle, isn't it?" Emily asked quietly. "That's where they are. Dad went to get them and disappeared."
Margaret nodded again, her mascara running with her tears.
"I don't understand. If you knew where they were, why didn't you try to get them out?" Emily asked.
"That place is like a black hole, swallowing up the members of my family. If I went there and something happened to me, who would take care of you? I've lost everything, I - I can't lose you too," Margaret sobbed.
Emily stood up and backed away from the table. "I'm going to Wesley in the fall, and I'm going to find our family."
Margaret smiled. "We'll find them together."
SL-14: Infirmary
The Centre
21:24
Miss Parker's heels clicked on the cement floor as she walked down the corridor of SL-14. The eerie white glow of the infirmary loomed ahead and Miss Parker could already smell the disinfectant. She peeked through the curtains of several patients before finding her quarry.
Jarod was reclined in the adjustable hospital bed and Sydney was sitting in a fold-out chair beside him. Sydney looked up in surprise at Miss Parker's presence.
"You came!" Sydney said with delight.
"What do you think I can do to help?" Miss Parker asked, cutting right to the chase.
"Jarod has no will to return to reality. He has chosen to live in his mind. I need him to want to return to us."
"And you think that I can get him to wake up?" Miss Parker asked with doubt.
"The connection the two of you share is something that no one has ever understood," Sydney said with sincerity.
"Syd, we're not close. We've hurt ea-"
"Miss Parker, please. Just try, if not for Jarod then for me, please," Sydney interrupted.
Miss Parker opened her mouth, intending to protest, but she saw herself two weeks ago - walking across the stage to receive her degree, looking out into the crowd for her father's face, the disappointment when he wasn't there, and the surge of joy when she saw Sydney there to support her.
"All right. What do I do?" Miss Parker asked in resignation.
"Just talk to him, Miss Parker. Let him know that you're here," Sydney said as he stood and offered Miss Parker his chair.
Miss Parker hesitated for a moment, but then took the chair. Sydney smiled and patted Miss Parker on the shoulder.
"Thank you," Sydney said quietly as he left the room.
Miss Parker sighed and leaned forward before she spoke.
"Jarod, I … I didn't want to put you through that T-Board. I didn't know that the missing Pretender was a little girl. I was just following orders."
>>> Jarod saw a shadow leave the room as another took its place. But he knew this one. He knew that smell. It was Miss Parker. What was she doing here? Had she come to gloat about her newfound power, power that she had used to hurt him. > "That's right, blame it on your father," Jarod thought to himself. But Jarod knew that the relationship between Miss Parker and the Chairman was a strange one. She craved his approval, attention, and love. He wanted total and complete subordination from everyone around him and would go to any length to get it. There were so many times that Jarod found Miss Parker hiding from her abusive father in the corners of the SIM lab and sporting a new set of bruises. Sometimes her injuries were so severe that Jarod had to help her get to the Infirmary. Years of abuse had obviously had an effect on her. > "She's saying I'm weak," Jarod thought. "Well, I don't care. I don't have to." > "Jira!" Jarod thought. He remembered how it felt to hold that little girl in his arms, how they melded together for those few moments before the Centre tore them apart. Jarod's chest tightened as he remembered the vacant look in Jira's eyes when he and Angelo found her huddled in the corner of her room. Than Sam took her. Sam the Sweeper. He said he would protect her, but what if he didn't? What if he brought her back to Mr. Raines? What if she had been found despite Jarod's silence? Miss Parker had information about Jira that she would share with him if he came back from this safe place. But if he left the warm folds of apathy he would have to return to his previous life. On the other hand, what if Jira needed help? What if Raines had hurt her again?
"She's… okay… ?" Jarod croaked, his throat dry and scratchy.
Miss Parker smiled and turned back to Jarod. "I couldn't tell you. The Centre can't locate her."
Jarod closed his eyes and smiled. After a moment he opened them, looked Miss Parker in the eye, and said one word.
"Why?"
"I already told you. I had no choice," Miss Parker replied quickly.
"Did you choose to screw me, or did Daddy make you do that too?" Jarod threw back.
"At least I'm not running away from my problems!" Miss Parker's cheeks were flushed and her eyes were throwing flames.
"Problems? What kind of problems could you possibly have?" Jarod growled as he sat up in the bed. "You seem to be the cause of all my problems! Do you cause your own as well?"
"What are you talking about?" Miss Parker cried, throwing her hands in the air.
"When we were kids, you always dragged me on those stupid adventures! And then when we were caught your father had Mr. Raines punish me. Then you left without saying goodbye and never answered any of my letters. And last week you and I made love and hours later you almost killed me! Those are problems I don't know how to solve! Just because I'm a Pretender doesn't mean I'm not human!" Jarod screamed in frustration.
"Those are human problems, Jarod! They're called emotions! You're right, you don't know how to deal with them and that's why you will never understand what I did," Miss Parker hissed and then ran out of the room.
Jarod sat in his pure white Infirmary pajamas wondering what had just happened. Oh, no, he thought as he replayed the conversation in his head. What have I done? How could I say those things? He knew that the words they had thrown back and forth would be lethal to their friendship. The truth, no matter how irrational, is often revealed in anger. In his mind, Jarod had sub-consciously blamed Miss Parker for the treatment he received after they were caught together. And in his anger, he had forgotten how she too had been punished by her father. He had been wrong. It was not Miss Parker who caused him pain. In fact, she had been his sanctuary. It was Mr. Parker who was determined to destroy the haven that Jarod and Miss Parker created together.
What have I done?
**************
"That bastard!" Miss Parker cursed aloud as she stalked back to her office. What right did he have to dump his emotional deficit on her lap? She had explained the circumstances of the T-Board. She had no choice! She couldn't defy a direct order from her father!
And then accusing her of screwing him under her father's command! Granted, she had been with many men in the eight years she was away from the Centre, always attempting to fill a void that had consumed her since her mother died. Jarod was the first to pour something into her aching heart. For almost twelve hours, Miss Parker had felt like a more complete person. And then she emptied herself again when she carried out the Tower directive.
Miss Parker came to a sudden halt in the hallway as her stomach wrenched.
What have I done?
