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Disclaimer: I don't own any of em: The Pretender and all it's characters belong to NBC. Stargate SG-1 and everything related to that belong to MGM. I'm only a poor student, so please don't sue!
This is my very first Fanfic, so please be kind and patient! Any and all feedback would really be appreciated. Please,

part 1
by Mac

Monday 9am
Briefing room, SGC.

"Major, explain to me again why we need"

"Geothermal physicist?"

"Yeah. Why we need of those....for this mission?"

"Well, Sir, the rock formations on P3X 943 show signs of being a rare type of metamorphic rock, which is only formed when..."

"Yeah, OK. So we need a Aw crap!" Jack rubbed his head in frustration. Why was he the only one who didn't understand Sam whenever she....spoke?

At that moment an Airman entered, escorting an intelligent looking man into the room. The man was staring at something in the Airman's hand- a Beanie Baby. Jack had no idea what the hell the airman was doing with a Beanie baby in his hand, but whoever this new guy was he seemed to be very interested in it.

SG-1 turned their eyes on the man.

"So they sell sets of these for people to collect?" He enquired of the poor airman.

"Yes Sir. Um, this is SG-1. SG-1, this is Jarod Stoner, the new"

"You see!" Jack whispered triumphantly to Sam.

"Thank you Airman, we'll take it from here." Was all she said in reply, as the Airman practically fell over himself to leave.

"So, Mr Stoner, have you had time to read through your mission briefing yet?" She enquired, with an innocent smile at Jack.

"No, Major, but I am extremely eager to learn exactly what you people do here. I've heard some very interesting stories."

"Well, it would appear that this is going to be a very interesting briefing then." replied Jack "Shall we get started?" The Colonel sat down in his seat with something of a predatory grin: scientists!

Jarod looked around at them and wondered what, exactly he was letting himself in for.


Monday 7.30pm
Jarod's Quarters

Jarod smiled as he threw himself down on the couch. This was unexpected; he was used to dealing with crooks; evil heartless people, only out for themselves- wanting to make a few bucks, no matter what the cost to people's lives. It had almost made him forget that not every mystery had some sinister, hidden secret.

These people were nice, he liked them. And this Stargate! It was impossible that such a thing existed- yet it did, and it was his reason for coming to Colorado.

At first Jarod had decided to investigate the number of people in the area who seemed to be either mysteriously disappearing, without a trace, or mysteriously appearing: and they all seemed linked to a highly classified military complex, under Cheyenne mountain.

Jarod had no idea what went on in there but he was determined to find out, and find out where these people were going to and coming from. At least now he knew: he was going to go through the Gate, tomorrow, with SG-1 as their rock expert.

Apparently, they had their own rock expert, but he was more of an 'old rock' expert, and he was off-world, doing an archaeological dig.

Jarod smiled as he remembered the team leader, Colonel Jack O'Neill, trying to explain what Dr Jackson was doing on the other planet. The Colonel wasn't the most literary of people, but he must be good at what he does, thought Jarod as he was reading through some of their past mission reports; very good.

His 'homework' done for the night, Jarod decided to set up his quarters, ready for Miss Parker's inevitable arrival. He usually waited until a pretend was over, but there wasn’t really much of a pretend anymore, so he planned on leaving town as soon as he got back.


Monday 11.30pm
Miss Parker’s office.

“What?” She snapped as she picked up the phone. This had not been a good day.

“Miss Parker?” The voice on the other end was one that she didn’t recognise- probably one of Jarod’s little friends.

“Who the Hell else?” She didn’t feel like being polite today, especially not to this moron.

“Yes, yes of course,” the voice sounded annoyed with itself, “My name is Colonel Maybourne, NID, and I think I may have a lead on a certain ‘special someone’ that you’re looking for.” Miss Parker sat up straight at this, finally paying attention to the conversation: either this man was asking her out on a date or he knew where Jarod was: she thought the latter was the slightly more sensible option.

“Where is he?” She asked, maybe this day wasn’t going to be so terrible after all.

“Cheyenne Mountain Air Force Base- in Colorado.” Great, this was just great.

“And how, exactly, am I supposed to get in there?” She demanded, her irritation showing clearly in her voice.

“Leave that to me, Miss Parker,” said Colonel Maybourne, “Always happy to help out an old friend such as The Centre, I think you’ll find that your clearance is all taken care of.”

Miss Parker listened as the man hung up, shaking her head. She hoped this wasn’t just another dead end. Just then there was a small, timid knock at the door.

“Broots! Get your pathetic little ass in here!” She yelled at the door, whilst reaching for her little pink bottle of ulcer medication. He entered hesitantly.

“Um, Miss Parker, I think we may have a lead on Jarod...”

“Don’t tell me, Colorado!”

“Yeah, um, how did you know?”

“Get the jet ready,” she chose not to answer his question, “And find Sydney.”

“OK, um,” Broots turned as he left, “Should I tell Mr Lyle?” He asked, grimacing.

“NO!” She shouted as Broots ran from the room. The last thing she needed was that psychopathic freak making this trip even more hellish for her.


Tuesday 4am
SCG Embarkation room

“SG-1, you have a go.” General Hammond said over the microphone.

“He always says that,” muttered Sam, “Why? Isn’t it obvious that we have a go, from the fact that the Gate’s open and we’re ing into it? Did we really need to spend four hours in briefings if we didn’t have a go? I mean, Hey!” Shouted Sam as she was pushed through the gate by a grinning Jack O’Neill.

“Is she always like that?” Asked Jarod, thinking that she reminded him of someone else he knew.

“No. Colonel O’Neill told me it was ‘that time of the month’ Jarod Stoner.” Replied a confused Teal’C.

“What does that mean?”

“I do not know.”



Tuesday 4.01am
P3X 943

“Why are we here, Major?” asked Colonel O’Neill.

“Well, sir, we want to look at rocks.”

“We do? I don’t.”

“No, Sir.”

Just then Teal’c and Jarod arrived behind them both, looking rather confused.

“Well,” said Jack, “Let’s go find those rocks!”


Tuesday 4.05am
Centre runway

“Are we ready?” asked Sydney, his thick Belgian accent coming through more strongly, as it did when he was tired.

“No Sydney, are not.” Replied an unexpected voice behind him.

“Lyle! What a pleasant surprise! I was under the impression that you weren’t coming.” Miss Parker said, glaring at Broots.

“Well, sis, how could I miss such an exciting trip Sydney, I hope you don’t mind, but you have a meeting to attend, so I’ll be taking your place.” Gloated Lyle, smirking at his sister.

“Great, just great,” grumbled Miss Parker as she boarded the plane, “My psycho brother, a classified military installation, a mysterious tip....and Broots. This is gonna be fun.”


Tuesday 10am
SGC security checkpoint.

“What do you mean ‘we can’t come any further’?” Miss Parker virtually screamed at the young Airman, who stood, paralysed with fear in front of her.

“Well...Ma’am, we’re just waiting for confirmation that y’all can come’am.”

Miss Parker stood there impatiently in front of the cowering Airman as he listened to orders over his comm. unit. She turned to her sweeper,

“Sam, I swear, if I somehow become incapacitated and unable to KILL THIS MORON! Do it for me!”

“Yes ma’am,” replied the sweeper, without even blinking at her outburst: he was used to her moods. Miss Parker started pacing, and Sam was glad that she’d left her gun in the car.

“Ma’am?” The young Airman said, “You can go on in now.”

“Finally!” She exclaimed, getting into her car, next to Broots. It pulled away and proceeded through the gates, followed by another, identical, black sedan- carrying her brother.

Broots was glad that they were in separate cars; during the flight her and Lyle seemed to want to escalate from sibling rivalry and into homicide. Sam had said something to Broots about hiding their guns from them. Broots liked Sam.


Once inside the base, they had to receive authorisation to move around, which caused a lot more yelling and cursing from Miss Parker, most of it directed to a large, bald man called General Hammond. Partly because it was their job, and partly to cool the Parker twins off, Broots suggested that they went to find Jarod’s quarters. Walking behind Miss Parker, Lyle wondered how many strings this mysterious Colonel Maybourne had to pull to get them in there. This place had better security than the Centre....not that that was really hard, it seemed that anyone could escape from that place these days...

He followed his sister into Jarod’s quarters, a little annoyed that she wouldn’t let him lead, but stopped dead in his tracks once inside the room.

“Wow!” Said Broots.

“I hate my life.” Said Miss Parker, before moving over to the table in the centre of the room. A room which was filled with Beanie Babies: they were piled on the shelves, on the bed, on the couch, on the floor. On the table in the centre of the room sat five, very special Beanie Babies; wearing name tags, each was a perfect mini-replica of Jarod’s pursuers. Broots was especially pleased with his likeness-

“Jarod must have taken a lot of time on these,” murmured Broots, receiving glares from the other three people in the room. Lyle picked up himself from the table, noticing that it was even missing a thumb,

“Yes, the detail’s amazing,” he said sarcastically, tossing mini-MP over to his irritated sister who shot him a deathly glare. Smiling at her attitude, he picked up mini-Sam and deposited it in the sweeper’s hands before exiting the room.

“Can I have mini-Syd?” piped up Broots.

“Knock yourself out.” Snapped Miss Parker, before following her brother out of the room.


Lyle was smiling to himself as he exited the room; this was his sister’s trip, so it was her failure to catch Jarod- not his fault, he thought. It was about then that he turned the corner and walked right into a dishevelled looking man in glasses.

“Oh, um, sorry!” exclaimed the man, wilting under Lyle’s glare. The man bent down to pick up the rocks that he’d dropped in the collision. “Can I help you?” he asked helpfully as he stood up.

“Who are you?” Lyle demanded.

“Oh, um, sorry,” replied the man, “I’m Dr Daniel Jackson.” He said; holding out his hand, which promptly caused him to drop half his pile of rocks again.

“Smooth,” said Miss Parker, joining her brother, “You’ve really got that ‘nerdy scientist’ thing down to a tee haven’t you? Reminds me of Broots,” she remarked snidely to Sam.

The floppy-haired man looked hurt and Broots wanted to jump to his defence....then decided against it....

“Um, like I said before; can I help you at all?” The man seemed not to be quite as cowardly as Broots.

“Yeah,” Lyle stepped in, “we’re looking for Jarod Stoner,” Lyle showed the man the picture, “Have you seen him?”

“No,” the man replied, “I just got back.”

“From where?” Miss Parker demanded, wanting to find out more about the base.

“P3J 428.” Replied the man, looking like a rabbit caught in headlights.

“Well where the hell is that?” she snapped.

“Um, I’d better take you to see the General,” the Daniel muttered, almost to himself. Clutching his rocks, he turned and started leading them to the briefing room. All he wanted was to go to bed, but Daniel had accepted that that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Besides, they were going to have to be diplomatic with these strange people, and he was the only ‘diplomat’ on base at the moment.

Daniel sighed, he wanted to go to bed.


Tuesday 12.15
P3X 943

“I wanna go home.”

“I know, Sir.”

“I’m bored.”

“I know, Sir.”

“Do you think he’d notice if we went?”

“Oh for crying out loud!”

“Hey, that’s my line!”

“Look, Sir, there’s only one more day until we go home, and I’m sure that these rocks are very interesting.... if you know what you’re looking at. Why don’t we do another recon of the area, that’ll keep you occupied.” Carter said, in the voice that she used exclusively for children..... and Jack, when he was bored.

O’Neill and Carter got up and stretched their legs. They had been sitting for 8 hours on the ground, as Jarod got more and more excited over the rock samples that they were taking. O’Neill was surprised that Carter didn’t seem to know what he was talking about either, which was unusual. At least she was being more tactful about being bored.

“Dr Stoner, we’re just going to go and do another perimeter sweep, will you be OK with Teal’c?’ she asked as they headed to the edge of the clearing.

“Yeah, sure, Major,” Jarod grinned back, he knew that the rest of the team were bored...well apart from Teal’c, from what he could gather, that guy always looked like that. He hoped that they could find something interesting on their perimeter search to occupy them, they were starting to annoy him.


Tuesday 12.20
SGC briefing room.

Miss Parker sat in a chair across from General Hammond, scowling at the archaeologist next to her. He seemed not to be too phased, and started trying to explain to them where Jarod was, causing all the Centre personnel to virtually fall out of their seats.

“What?” Lyle spluttered out, before he regained his composure, “Are you trying to tell us that that ridiculously engraved grey circle actually sends people across the galaxy?”

“I said they were all insane!” murmured Miss Parker, “Didn’t I say they were all insane?” She demanded of Broots.

“Actually, I think you said they were all incompetent, moronic little....” he looked up at Miss Parker, “Um, I mean....yes....insane. Please don’t hurt me!”

“Yeah, so why didn’t we know about this before?” Lyle asked. He prided himself in knowing everything that went on in the American government, and he hadn’t heard a word about a Stargate.

“Well, it’s very highly classified.” Dr Jackson explained, “How did you people get clearance? Where are you from anyway?” Daniel realised that he didn’t even know their names....these people were weird!

“We come from the Centre.” Miss Parker said, as if that explained everything.

General Hammond remembered hearing about a place called The Centre in some classified reports a while ago, apparently they provided the US military with assistance, with research and simulations. He’d also heard of the more, shall we say, unofficial side of The Centre’s dealings, and he was sure he didn’t want to get on the wrong side of these people.

“Well, what can we do to help you?” he asked, “Why are you looking for Dr Stoner?”

“Great name,” Miss Parker remarked, “Let me guess, he’s being a geologist?” The General nodded his confirmation.

“And he’s on another,” Lyle flipped through the papers he’d been handed,

“P3X 943. What’s with those names? Never mind. We need to find him.”

“And let me ask again, why?” The General was getting annoyed with these people.

“Why don’t you call up his ex CO and see if he remembers him, General? I’ll tell you why,” Miss Parker continued, cutting off General Hammond before he could speak, “Because Jarod Stoner doesn’t exist. This man is an extremely dangerous escapee and we need to get him back as soon as possible. He is not an Air Force Officer or a geologist or whatever else he claims, but he has the ability to pretend to be anything he wants.”

“Let me reiterate my sister’s point that he is very dangerous and unstable.” Lyle added: these people didn’t seem to trust them and they needed to make sure that they trusted Jarod even less.

Daniel looked at the two smartly dressed people beside him. “You’re siblings?” he asked, he hoped there wasn’t any more of this family around somewhere...

Miss Parker looked annoyed, “Yes, twins. But I don’t like to talk about it.” She replied, making sure that she shot a look at Lyle that said ‘Say anything else and you’ll be eating through a straw for the next year’.

“Can we get back on track here?” Lyle decided it was time to take charge, “We need to find him now, before he does any more damage. Which means we need to get to him. Now.”

An Airman entered, and whispered something in the General’s ear.

“Well, it seems that you have clearance, might as well let you go through.” The General looked around the table, suddenly getting the feeling that things were spiralling out of his control. “Dr Jackson, you’ll go through as a guide and take them to SG-1. There hasn’t been any indication of Goa’uld activity there, so you won’t need an escort.” The General got up and walked into his office, “Damned if I know what’s going on,” he muttered under his breath.

Dr Jackson stood and nervously surveyed the table of people, who were all looking at him impatiently.

“Well.....?” Miss Parker asked him.

“Um, come with me.” Daniel started leading them towards the control room. “Damned if I know what’s going on,” he muttered under his breath.


Meanwhile, on P3X 943....

“Um, Sir.....”

“Yeah, Major, I see it....Damn it! I hate it when this happens: Nice little peaceful, relaxing mission to look at rocks and bam!- the Goa’uld have to screw it up!” Jack kicked angrily at a nearby tree, yelping as he realised how hard it was.

“Well, you did say that you wanted something interesting to happen, Sir,” O’Neill shot Carter an evil glare and Carter returned her attention to the Goa’uld ship that was unloading supplies.

O’Neill did a quick count- there were too many, there was no way they could get past all those Jaffa, their best hope was to sneak through the gate whilst the Jaffa were distracted.

“OK, let’s get back to Teal’c and try to figure out what to do,” O’Neill said and started back, through the trees.


Tuesday 12.35
Locker Rooms

The Parker twins looked on in horror as Daniel handed them some fatigues. Lyle seemed a little shell shocked but Miss Parker was more vocal in her objections.

“I am NOT wearing that!” She said, alarmed, slowly backing away.

Daniel sighed, he knew these people were going to be hard to deal with. In fact, the only normal one seemed to be the little balding man in the corner, struggling with his fatigues.

“Do you need a hand there, Mr Broots?” Daniel turned his attention to him, leaving the Parker twins staring at the clothes in shock.

“No, sorry, I’m fine,” said Broots, nearly falling over as he tried to get his arm through the correct hole. Finally managing to dress himself properly, Broots sat down on a bench to wait for the others.

Sam picked up his fatigues and looked at them suspiciously.

“No, Sam. Leave them.” Miss Parker told her sweeper. She turned to look at Dr Jackson, “We’re ready, and NO; before you ask, we are not putting these on. We’re ready. Let’s go.”


Tuesday 12.30
P3X 943

“It is the ship of the Goa’uld Hu, O’Neill”





“What the Hell?”

“Hu is the name of the Goa’uld, O’Neill!” Teal’c replied, exasperated.

“Oh, right- hate it when that happens.”
“Hu?” Jarod interrupted, “The Egyptian God who personifies the authority of a word of command, sometimes correlated with the power of the tongue of...”

“Captain Stoner?”

“Yes Sir?” Jarod looked up at the Colonel, confused.

“Don’ that.”


Embarkation room:

The gate opened.

“Jesus!” Sam said.

“Wow!” Broots said.

“Whoop-to-dooo.” The Parker twins chorused, sarcastically. Then glared at each other.

“Let’s go,” Daniel said, and started up the ramp, shaking his head in amazement as he heard Miss Parker’s 4 inch heels click after him. “You know, this is a bit of a rough ride, you might not want to do it in heels.....Or...whatever....sorry.....” Daniel turned to Broots, “Is she always like that?”

“Worse,” Broots confided.


P3X 943:

“Suggestions? Comments? Questions?” O’Neill asked as he surveyed the three people before him. Jarod took in the scene before him and ran some quick SIMs in his head. There was no way that they could get past all those Jaffa.

“There’s no way that we can get past all those Jaffa,” he stated.

“Yeah, I came to the same conclusion,” replied Jack. “We need some kind of distraction...”

“Um, Sir?” Carter pointed to the gate, the chevrons lighting up, indicating an incoming wormhole.

The team positioned themselves at vantage points and waited to see what came through. They looked on in suprise to see a slightly disturbed looking sprang out.

He was followed by 4 other people. Carter let out a small laugh as she saw an impeccably dressed man and woman be thrown out of the Stargate and into a heap on the muddy ground. They were followed by a large man in a dark suit and a small timid looking man in fatigues.


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