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A/N: I know this chapter is really really short compared to the other chapters, but I have had an evil case of writers block. ::Runs after writers block with Nerf Bat:: Ya know, they should really make pills for those. Writers block I mean. There are already pills for people like me. It's called Prozac. I promise I will try to make chapter 4 longer. You don't like how short that chapter is, you take it up with the muses. I am not sure at the moment how many chapters this story will be. I am hoping to wrap it up with 5 chapters. I may do a Prequel to fic and show how they got involved. May even Sequal to show what happens. I just don't know yet. I guess it really depends on what feedback I get about the idea. Any advice or help on where you would like to see the story go next would be helpful. As for any spelling or grammar errors, they're there deal with it. I'm sorry if I sound a bit nagging, but will you please not review on my spelling or grammar errors. I just got a beta and will be sending her the entire series to be betad.
I'm greeted with yet more silence. I hear him breathing and just as I am about to say his name, he talks.
Honestly, he says and then once again silence. I know in my heart this is difficult, but this silence thing is killing me.
Honestly what? I ask scared yet again to find out his answer. Honestly he starts out and then I hear him breath heavily again and then starts to speak. Honestly, I just I can't stay with you and watch you throw your life away anymore. He says. God knows I want to be with you, but I just can't do it Parker, I'm sorry. I care about you too much to sit by and watch you destroy yourself. I just can't do it Parker, he says again. I'm sorry. I can't go back to the way things were.
I feel tears run down my cheek, and mumble as I wipe my tears away that I understand. I start to hang up but before I get the chance I hear him say my name. Look Parker, lately, everything between us… I don't know what happened, but something's gotten in the way. I don't want us to fall right back into the pattern of fighting and insults that's been the definition of who we are the past few years. I know in my heart that I want to be with you, but I can't go back to the way things were. It just being that way it hurt me too much Parker. He said.
I never wanted to hurt you Jarod, really I didn't. I replied.
Then why did you? He asked.
I took a deep breath and
Scared of what? He asked
I dunno. I respond. Everything! You, Me, Everything!
So you're just gonna throw it all away? Everything we could have... because you're afraid of them? He asks.
Well ya know what? He says. I'm scared too.
I live everyday of my life afraid, he says. Afraid I am gonna wake up and all of this has just been a dream.
I'm afraid; he continues that all I will ever be to you is a lab rat. I am deathly afraid that you are going to wake up one morning, think you have made a major mistake by being with me and you are just going to leave.
Jarod, I say but am interrupted by his voice again.
But you know what scares me most of all Parker? He asks.
What? I ask trying to choke back tears.
Not being with you. He answers.
I am about to say something but am once again cut off by his voice before I get a chance.
This is starting to become a habit I think to myself.
Look Parker, I love you he says. But...
And once again there is that awkward silence. I think to myself
But what? I ask yet again a little afraid to here what he says.
But, if you pushed me away because you don't love me, I need to know. He says.
This time I am the one that goes silent. Unsure how exactly to respond to what he has just said.
Well Parker, is that it? He asks? Do you not love me? Is that why you pushed me away?
I am still silent.
Please Parker? He asks. I need to know if that is why you pushed me away.
What if it is? I ask.
Then, he says well then atleasest I will know, and I will stop beating myself up over losing something that I guess wasn't really mine to begin with.
I'm greeted with yet more silence. I hear him breathing and just as I am about to say his name, he talks.
Honestly, he says and then once again silence. I know in my heart this is difficult, but this silence thing is killing me.
Honestly what? I ask scared yet again to find out his answer. Honestly he starts out and then I hear him breath heavily again and then starts to speak. Honestly, I just I can't stay with you and watch you throw your life away anymore. He says. God knows I want to be with you, but I just can't do it Parker, I'm sorry. I care about you too much to sit by and watch you destroy yourself. I just can't do it Parker, he says again. I'm sorry. I can't go back to the way things were.
I feel tears run down my cheek, and mumble as I wipe my tears away that I understand. I start to hang up but before I get the chance I hear him say my name. Look Parker, lately, everything between us… I don't know what happened, but something's gotten in the way. I don't want us to fall right back into the pattern of fighting and insults that's been the definition of who we are the past few years. I know in my heart that I want to be with you, but I can't go back to the way things were. It just being that way it hurt me too much Parker. He said.
I never wanted to hurt you Jarod, really I didn't. I replied.
Then why did you? He asked.
I took a deep breath and
Scared of what? He asked
I dunno. I respond. Everything! You, Me, Everything!
So you're just gonna throw it all away? Everything we could have... because you're afraid of them? He asks.
Well ya know what? He says. I'm scared too.
I live everyday of my life afraid, he says. Afraid I am gonna wake up and all of this has just been a dream.
I'm afraid; he continues that all I will ever be to you is a lab rat. I am deathly afraid that you are going to wake up one morning, think you have made a major mistake by being with me and you are just going to leave.
Jarod, I say but am interrupted by his voice again.
But you know what scares me most of all Parker? He asks.
What? I ask trying to choke back tears.
Not being with you. He answers.
I am about to say something but am once again cut off by his voice before I get a chance.
This is starting to become a habit I think to myself.
Look Parker, I love you he says. But...
And once again there is that awkward silence. I think to myself
But what? I ask yet again a little afraid to here what he says.
But, if you pushed me away because you don't love me, I need to know. He says.
This time I am the one that goes silent. Unsure how exactly to respond to what he has just said.
Well Parker, is that it? He asks? Do you not love me? Is that why you pushed me away?
I am still silent.
Please Parker? He asks. I need to know if that is why you pushed me away.
What if it is? I ask.
Then, he says well then atleasest I will know, and I will stop beating myself up over losing something that I guess wasn't really mine to begin with.
