Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story

- Text Size +

A/N: Okay first off I don't currently have a beta so my apologies on spelling and grammatical errors. I dunno if there is a real hospital called San Francisco Memorial or not. I looked up all the hospitals in San Francisco and didn't find one. If there really is a San Francisco Memorial Hospital, then consider me now saying I don't own it, nor have I ever claimed to own it. Also any medical mumbo jumbo I may use in any part of this fic was taken from the TV show ER (GREAT SHOW) and no infringement is intended yada yada yada. As far as mileage and time flight wise. 10 hours is a pretty much a guess. I searched every airline and ticket site I could find and COULD not get any flights from Dover, DE to SF. Flights I did find were really iffy because they for some reason would have you taking a train from DE to PA to catch a flight. Anyway I looked up driving directions and it said Total Distance from DE to SF was: 2896.74 miles and Total Time (driving wise) 47 hours, 16 minutes. ((Takes a breath)) When I looked it up I was told that every 5 hours in a car= 1 hour on a plane (give or take a minute here or there). SO that means a 47 hour drive would mean a long ass 10 hour flight. So I made it that he is taking off from Philly with a stop over in between. That would make his flight a little over 7 ½ hours. My math totally sucks, so if I am somehow way off (its very possible. knowing how dense I can be) then I guess just deal with it. This is a fanfic, not a research paper. Jeebus all I go thru just to get 1 chapter of a fic written. I seriously need a life. Who knows maybe Jarod didn't even get on the plane.

DISCLAIMER: See chapter 1


If you love something, set it free.


I slink down in a chair and just sit there with my face in my hands. I sit there thinking. Thinking how I wished I had just told him how I felt. Suddenly and idea came to me, I could simply just take the next flight out to San Francisco, I mean after all I knew where he was going. San Francisco Memorial I said to myself. Unfortunately that's all I know. I remember Jarod trying to tell me about the job and me just pushing him away and tuning him out. I know what I can do. I'll just call the hospital and say I have an appointment with him. Half an hour later and I think I have been routed to every damn part of the hospital. God I hate these damn automated message things. Press one for press two for. The only thing I wanna press in the trigger of my 9 mm.

Ugh, I am getting no where with this I tell myself and shut my cell phone. I just want to backtrack to 3 weeks ago and do it over again. I should have told him. I should have asked him to stay. He would have. I know he wanted to. But without my asking him to do so, there was nothing left for him here. There was no reason for him not to go on to a better lifestyle and a better job in sunny San Francisco. I love him, though. I do. I've never loved someone so much, and yet I lost him. I wouldn't be surprised if he actually did refuse to stay, even if I had asked. I would deserve it, after what I've done and how much pain I've caused. Sighing heavily, I lift my head toward the window, staring out into the sky that now carries the only happiness I've ever known.

Suddenly my cell phone rings. I answer it. Jarod!? I say hoping and praying that it's him. Oh no sorry you must have the wrong number I tell the caller on the other end and hang up. God Parker you are so stupid I tell myself. Jarod isn't gonna call, I mean he is how every many thousand feel in the air right now. Suddenly my phone beeps and alerts me that I have a voice mail message. That's probably Debbie wondering where I am. I was supposed to take her out shopping today. Much to the dismay of poor Broots. I swear I think he's scared to death that she is gonna come back wearing leather head to toe, cussing, and chain smoking. I lightly laugh at the thought as I enter my password to check my voice mail. You have two new voice messages. First new message received today at 2:56 pm. Hi Miss. Parker it's Debbie, I was just wondering if you maybe forgot about taking me shopping. Dad is here pacing back and forth scared something has happened to you. Please call us back when you get this message kay? Bye. Click Next message received today at 3:16 pm. All of the sudden my mind goes blank and my heart skips a beat as I hear the voice on the other end of the phone.

Parker, it's me. I know I'm the last person you want to hear from, but I just wanted to tell you that I have always and will always love you. I miss you Cleo, and for what it's worth I'm sorry. Bye.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks as I listened to the message. I touch the phone as if it were him and whisper I love you too. God Parker, you've really screwed this one up I think to myself. I wipe the tears away and listen to the message again Parker, it's me. I know I'm the last person you want to hear from, but I just wanted to tell you that I have always and will always love you. I miss you Cleo, and for what it's worth I'm sorry. Bye.



I smile as I remember how Jarod called me Cleopatra Queen of Denial as a smart ass comment, and how it seem to of become my nickname that he affectionately called me. 3:16 I note the time and look at my watch 3:37 pm. I realize he must have called me when I was on the phone with the hospital trying to track him down. God Parker not only does he miss you; I say to myself he is apologizing when the only thing he ever did was love me unconditionally. I listen to the message again trying to hear what the noise in the background is. It sounds like one of those stupid airport messages that repeat over and over about having your luggage with you at all times. God I hate those messages. The more I think about it thought the more confused I become. I mean I know there is no way his plane has landed. Even if he had a layover somewhere, he's only been in the air forty-eight minutes.

Suddenly my cell rings again. That's probably Debbie or Broots calling me again wanting to know what's going on I think to myself. Hello I calmly say hoping my voice won't lead on that I've been crying. Why are you not home yet? The voice on the other end asks. Ja Ja Jarod I stammer. How did you know I'm not at home? I ask. I have my ways he says. That you do I say sort of half smiling that you do. Parker he says. But before he can say whatever it is he is going to say I interrupt him. God, Jarod, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you; I didn't mean to push you away. I say. This wins me silence on the other end of the phone which means wherever he is, he's probably got a sarcastic type look of the unbelieving nature on his face. I'm still greeted with silence on the other end of the line. Jarod please, say something I whine in a pleading voice.

What do you want me to say Parker? He asks. Anything. I answer. Yell at me; tell me you hate me, whatever. Just say something Please. I could never hate you Parker he responds in a low voice. We are both silent for what seems like an eternity. It's amazing how only a few seconds can feel like forever. Jarod I say breaking the silence. For what it's worth, I really am sorry. I honestly didn't mean to hurt you; I didn't mean to push you away. I'm greeted with silence yet again. "Okay, so maybe I did mean to push you away. I admit. But I didn't want to hurt you. And that's why I did it. I was and am scared that you'll be hurt if you were with me. I just kind felt I was holding you back from having a life Jarod. But that doesn't change the fact that… I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry. I know you're sorry, but saying you're sorry, well that doesn't change things Parker. It's a step in the right direction yes, and an even bigger step for you I know, but. And then there is silence. But it's not enough I say hoping to god I'm wrong.

Right now, no not really. Jarod answers. I sniff as tears start to roll down my cheeks again. I love you Parker he says. I always have and I always will. That is something that no matter how hard I have tried to fight it over the years, is something that is never going to change. But like you told me before I left, sometimes love just isn't enough. I didn't mean it I say matter of factly. Ah but you did Parker, you did. And on many levels you're right, love isn't enough. Once again there is silence. Parker he says. I sit there in the airport chair felling an overwhelming sense of numbness. Parker he says again this time more urgently. I open my mouth to speak but no words come out as I come to the realization that I have probably just completely lost the only man I have ever truly loved, and it's my own damn fault. Parker he says again more franticly. PLEASE, say something. Parker, are you there are you ok he asks franticly. Come on baby please say something you're scaring me. I'm sorry is all I manage to say. I'm, just so sorry Jarod.

Ever since Tommy had been killed, I swore I'd never fall in love again. I said. The problem was I've been in love with you all along Jarod. I've been too scared to admit until now, and now, is too late. Why is now too late? He asks. Because you've left me I respond. Okay first off he says sighing heavily into the phone. God Parker he says, we go round and round in circles chasing our tails but we never get anywhere. Is that you want? Do you want now to be too late? What do you want I ask him almost afraid of his answer. I honestly Parker I don't know. I mean, I want to be with you. But I just can't come back and resume sitting around waiting and hoping for you to open up enough and show me the real you. I'm sorry Parker but I can't do that. Does that mean that were over? That this time I've pushed you too far and you aren't coming back? I ask.

END CHAPTER 2. You know the drill. You give me feedback and I'll give you another chapter.









You must login (register) to review.