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Disclaimer: The characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots etc. and the fictional Centre, are all property of MTM and NBC Productions and used without permission. I'm not making any money out of this and no infringement is intended.

1) Paper Snowflakes (the original, isn't a sequel)
2) To Dance In An English Garden
3) A Night To Remember
4) The Trick Is To Keep Breathing
5) Life In A Heartbeart
6) With Me (the last in the series)
 
 

With Me
5/8
By Orania Lemke



The rain was coming down in sheets. The sides of the streets were flooding, overfilling drains unable to hold anymore water. The drops were falling so hard they stung when they hit his face. He stood in the middle of the deserted street, soaked, with the pouring rain roaring in his ears.

A hand grabbed him from behind, forced him to spin around.

"What have you done?!"

~~~~~~~~~

Earlier that day...

She paced back and forth in his living room, the clicking of her heels against the hardwood floor echoing through the empty house. The sound of a key in the lock caught her attention; she stopped so suddenly that momentum nearly tripped her forward.

As a tired Sydney walked through his front door, coming home from a night of paperwork at the office, Parker rushed forward to meet him. He was startled, but as he realized it was her, his expression changed from surprise to a stony grimace. He brushed past her, placed his briefcase on the floor and moved on to the kitchen. "Mind telling me just what the hell you're doing in my home, Miss Parker?"

She followed him. "I need to talk to you."

"Is that a request, or an order?" he muttered, still not looking at her as he grabbed a bottle of water.

"Syd--" Her voice faltered, returned as a whisper. "Please."

He felt his defenses weaken. Despite the choices she'd made, the woman was still like a daughter to him. Reluctantly, he turned, really looked at her for the first time in nearly three months, and felt his heart crumble at the sight. She looked pale, tired, and her eyes were dull despite the tears filling them up. All his anger for her melted away. "We can talk." He thought of the bugs probably planted in the house. The Centre liked to keep an eye on their people. "Not here, though. I know a place."

She nodded, and followed him obediently.

~~~~~~~~~

The drive was made in complete silence. Somehow, playing the radio right now, even classical music, seemed inappropriate. Sydney kept his eyes studiously forward, while Parker leaned against the window and stared out listlessly.

He turned onto a gravel road, and moments later the forest disappeared, revealing a rock edge, and the ocean beyond. Parker lifted her head, feeling a stab of recognition.

They got out of the car, and walked together to the largest cliff. Looking down, the ocean roared as it crashed against sharp rocks.

"Whenever there were difficult times at home, your mother would come here to contemplate things."

"I know."

"Being so high above the ocean, almost as if you're on top of the world. Catherine said that she found strength here, and answers."

"Thank you."

He leaned against a boulder, and she followed suit. "So, what did you wish to speak to me about?"

She stared out to the horizon, as the warm ocean breeze played with her hair. "Everything's different, Syd... A year ago, I was just another Centre employee; but not just an employee. I was as much a daughter of the Centre as I am of my father. Last Christmas, I was given a real look at lives that Jarod changes, and nothing's been the same since."

"Surely it's not just Jarod's doing."

"No. No, it was more. It was the Centre continuing to throw problems at me, one after the other, without a chance to breathe. It was living through the anniversary of Thomas' death. It was bringing my little brother into this world, and realizing that daddy didn't give a damn. It was standing in the middle of the room that my mother painted in, and wondering if she would even recognize me. It's just too much."

She sprang up and began to pace back and forth, hands behind her back. Like a caged animal.Sydney just observed her quietly, and had the serious idea of throwing her in the car and getting her the hell away from Blue Cove. She stopped, inches from the edge, with her back to the ocean, and began with an uncertain smile, "But now, think I might be okay."

"What's happened?"

She laughed, a real laugh that echoed through the open space, and Syd's heart swelled. It was her mother's laugh, one he hadn't heard in years. "The most incredible thing. Look at me, Syd." He did, and realized that compared to how she'd appeared just 20 minutes ago in his kitchen, there was a world of difference. She still looked tired, and a little uncertain, but she was radiant, and her eyes were sparkling. "I don't eat, I barely sleep. I haven't had a drink in days, taken any pills for even longer. My house is a wreck, and I don't even care. What does that tell you?"

Ideas clicked together in his mind, and he smiled broadly, understanding. "Well, normally, I'd say you'd become completely certifiable. But given the circumstances, I'd say you're in love."

She laughed again, and stepped close to him. "You're absolutely right." Her voice lowered. "And that's why I need your help."

"My help?"

"Syd, I'm going insane. Like I said, my house is a wreck. It was all just too much the other night, and smashing everything in sight seemed like the perfect solution. Until a few days ago, I kept thinking that I was seeing him out of the corner of my eye, or I'd feel him, almost as if he were just feet away. The worst part, though, is that it's stopped. I can't feel him anymore, Syd, and it terrifies me."

"What do you want from me?"

"I had all these reasons when I left; I can't remember any of them anymore. I've begun to see things at the Centre through his eyes, and it's too much for me to bare. And every time I see another horror, my mind yells at me to just run away, and the next thought, always, is, run to him." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're right, Syd. I am in love. And I can't ignore it, I can't run from it. No more than I could stand one more day in that place--I'll die if I do." She looked him desperately in the eyes. "We haven't heard a word from him since I left. I know I've already betrayed him too many times, he's had enough of the games. But you... Until he finds his family, you're the only one he's got. He wouldn't disappear without at least telling you."

"You're saying to me, you want me to tell you where he is."

"I'm asking you, Sydney, yes. Please, I need to find him."

"Miss Parker." He looked her straight in the eye. "Do you realize what this means?"

"It means that I'm leaving. Tonight."

He nodded; a debate that had been continuing in his mind for years came to a screeching halt, his decision made. "I'm coming with you."

~~~~~~~~~

Parker ran inside her house, for the first time in a long while completely free of any foreboding feelings, and tossed her keys on the table. Running into her bedroom, she pulled a suitcase out from the closet, and began throwing in random clothes from her closet and drawers. Three minutes later, she ran back out of the room, paused at the mantle to grab a framed photo and throw it in her purse, retrieved her keys, and raced back out the door.

Soon after she pulled up to Sydney's house, and she'd just hit the brake when he appeared in the door. He hurried to the car, threw his duffel bag into the trunk, and hopped in.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," he grinned.

~~~~~~~~~

It was noon, but you couldn't tell it. The sky was a single mass of gray clouds, hanging low and threatening rain with their rumbling thunder.

"We're driving right into a storm," Sydney noted with raised eyebrows.

Parker, behind the wheel, smiled. "Make you nervous?"

"At this point, Miss Parker, nothing in the world could bother me."

She laughed, and turned on the wipers as the first fat drops splattered on the windshield. Glancing at the map next to her, she looked ahead for the next on-ramp, for the interstate that would take them to Washington DC. "So what's Jarod doing in DC, anyhow?"

"Samantha's father is handling some corporate takeover, and Jarod offered to help."

"Why? All that legal mumbo-jumbo doesn't seem like his kind of thing."

"One of the corporation's contracts is with the government, concerning centers for abandoned children and run-aways. Mr. Lansing thinks they can do some real good once they got control, and figured Jarod would love that kind of opportunity."

Parker looked over at Sydney. "I wonder if Sam will be there when I see Jarod."

"You don't seem too pleased at the prospect."

"Jarod wasn't the only one I left without saying goodbye. Poor thing probably felt like I'd deserted her."

"Don't worry about Samantha," he reassured her. "She's resilient. Besides, she's been so determined to see you two together, everything else will be completely forgotten."

~~~~~~~~~

"That's his place?" she smiled, observing with great approval the building in front of her.

"Yes. He has the corner apartment on the fourth floor. I think he's grown a real liking for the area."

"I'm beginning to like it myself," she laughed. She peered again out the car window. They'd switched seats so that she'd have an unobstructed view. She turned in her seat to look at him. "I know we have to find a parking garage for the car, but..."

"You want to see him now?" he nodded knowingly. "Sure. This is a private moment, anyhow. I'll meet you upstairs." She thanked him, and got out of the car, waving as he pulled away.

For a moment, she just stood in the rain on the sidewalk, trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach. The entire area was abandoned; the news warned of a bad storm. A few more minutes, she thought, and the streets would start to flood. She looked down at her outfit critically: a dark gray form-fitting turtleneck and tailored black pants. She smiled at her heeled boots, something Jarod had once mentioned he preferred to her normal footwear. "No heels," she murmured. "This must be love." She impatiently brushed a few strands of hair from her face; she'd put her hair up with a black clasp, but a few clumps had escaped to frame her face, a slightly messy look she loved.

One deep breath. Another. Then, closing her eyes, she bit her lip and thrust her finger forward, pressing the intercom button next to his name.

"Yes?"

Her eyes flew open and her heart swelled at the sound of his voice. "Um, hi."

A pause. "Parker?"

"Yeah, it's me."

Another pause. "Hang on."

She took a step back, and waited. Upstairs, little Samantha wriggled up to a window and looked down impatiently. Seconds later, the building door opened, and Jarod joined her on the steps. She gave a weak smile; he walked slowly past her, stopped, studied her closely.

"I don't believe this," he sighed as, running a restless hand through his dark hair, he walked on into the street, clearly lost in his thoughts. Puzzled, but too happy to really care, she followed him into the rain.

He turned, looked at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Syd's parking the car; we agreed that I should do this on my own."

"What?"

"Talk to you. About us."

He frowned uncomfortably, and avoided her eyes. "Parker--"

"No," she hurried to cut him off, "just let me say this. I... What I did in Seattle was probably--no, no it was definitely the stupidest thing I have ever done. I made a mistake, I admit that... And I have never been more sorry." She stepped closer to him, completely soaked and dripping, and smiled. "But everything's okay now. I know what I want, I know what I need. And both ways, it's you... That's why I came here. To look into your eyes, and to tell you that I love you. I always have, in a way, and I always will. Nothing can change that." She was growing nervous as his uneasy attitude remained; she took his hand. "Jarod, we can do this."

"No," His tone was firm; he pulled his hand away and backed off.

"What?" she whispered in disbelief.

"No." He shook his head slowly, like at a young child who doesn't know any better. "No more."

"But, Jarod--"

"It's too late, Parker. I can't take any more; you and the Centre and the lies and backstabbing--I've had enough." He looked up into the rain, as if seeking an explanation. "My life is changing." His eyes moved back to her, but still didn't meet her own. "Yesterday, for the first time since this all began, I started work on a new pretend. You're still the first thing I think of every morning, but at least now you're not everything." Finally, finally, he met her eyes. "I love you, Parker. But my heart just can't bare any more of this."

Tears mixed with the raindrops on her face. For what seemed like an eternity, she just stood, staring in crestfallen shock. Then, the full reality of it all hit her, and staggering under the weight of the truth, she turned and ran.

Sydney, who had watched the whole conversation at the corner, hidden from view, stepped into the street as Parker ran by. "Parker! Parker!" Continuing to call after her, he ran in pursuit. She turned the corner, he followed.

"Parker, stop!"

No answer, just choked sobs and heels hitting wet concrete.

"Parker, wait! He's just upset!"

She spun around. "He's upset? He's upset?! Whatever fragments remaining of my life were hanging by one very thin thread--and he just goes and snaps it in two!"

"He still loves you."

"How can you possibly still believe that?!" she cried miserably.

"How can you not?" She stared at the water.

Silence, with only the pouring rain to fill it. Then, she lifted her head, and whispered just loud enough for him to hear, "Even after we realize the truth, we still hurt each other. Why is that, Syd?" She turned, and ran.

~~~~~~~~~

The rain was coming down in sheets. The sides of the streets were flooding, overfilling drains unable to hold any more water. The drops were falling so hard they stung when they hit his face. He stood in the middle of the deserted street, soaked, with the pouring rain roaring in his ears.

A hand grabbed him from behind, forced him to spin around.

"What have you done?!"

Jarod stared at Syd dumbly.

"What the hell do you think you've done?"

"Back off," he warned.

"Oh, screw you, Jarod! Do you have any idea what that woman has gone through?!"

"Of course I do!" he yelled right back. "Do you think I like hurting her?!"

Sydney laughed sarcastically. "You fool. You damn fool! You don't even see it, do you? Do you have any idea how rare what you two have is? How many people spend their entire lives searching for just one chance at what you two have thrown away time and time again?!"

"I don't have to listen to this!"

"Oh, yes, you do," he snarled. "You will stand here and listen to every damn word I have to say. She has beaten herself up every moment since she left, and I defended you, treated her like the criminal, because of what happened. In last few months, she has been through hell and back, and yet somehow she finds the strength to come here, look you in the face, and tell you she loves you. And what do you do? You burn her to the ground--just like every other person in her life has."

"That's enough!"

"I should hope so, because it was enough for her. There's nothing left--you've destroyed her. You have been like a son to me, but I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in you than this moment. I damn near hate you; but more importantly, I pity you, Jarod, because I don't care where you go or who you meet... You don't stand a chance of ever having anything near what you just threw away."

Sydney turned and walked away, leaving Jarod in the rain.

Upstairs, Samantha wiped her red eyes, sniffled, and left the window.

~~~~~~~~~

A lone car sped down the slick highway, the headlights shining into the storm-darkened road ahead.

Engraged, Parker's eyes narrowed to a glare, and her hands clenched the wheel tighter until her knuckles turned white.

"Their fault. All their fault."
 
 

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