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Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, I believe that NBC has the official right to manipulate these characters, but like others, I like to wonder what they would do in *my* world. Please do not archive with out my permission. (at the very least you'll guarantee another hit on your site :)

Authors Note: It's amazing what stories pop into your head when you begin to imagine along a plot line. Unfortunately, many of them can't be woven into the stories that I actually have set out to write, so these little pieces end up here, as short little stories. Enjoy. I was very inspired by the titling method The Princess used to name "Apple Pie" However, I was (ok I still am) listening to music on headphones and random words weren't popping into my head. Instead I came up with a title that actually could mean something in relation to the story. Go figure.

Never stand on the X
By Gables

Detroit, Michigan

Jarod looked at the woman who sat across from him. They were at a very fancy restaurant, and he was dressed in new black suit. She was wearing a black dress that barely touched her shoulder, showing off a wonderful neck and the diamond pendent that hung around it. Her dirty blond hair was swept up, so he could see her earrings - two in each ear, a pair of gold loops and diamond studs that matched the necklace.

She had a beautiful smile, which she showed a lot, and her movements were ever so graceful. She had an athletic body, and he knew that she worked at it, because they had met while he was working as a personal trainer. After thinking about how they met, Jarod pulled his attention back to her words.

"So tell me something about yourself."

"I like ice cream."

"What else?"


She paused a moment, frustrated that the conversation was not going where she wanted it to go.

"What were you like as a child?"

"I had a very secluded childhood." Jarod said cryptically.

"What did you want to be when you grew up?" She said.

He gave her a puzzled look,

"You know, what was your dream job?"

Jarod thought for a moment. He had never pondered this question as a child. He was always told that his future was going to be spent at the Centre doing sims.

"I never had a dream job in mind, but I always did want a family."

"A family?" She was a bit shocked by this statement. He was an intelligent, handsome man, and the only thing he wanted to do with his life was to be a dad? >That's actually kind of sweet she thought.

"Was there a girl who you wanted to have your family with?" She teased.

Jarod smiled. "Yes. The only girl I knew."

"Do you know where she is now?" She was intrigued by his statement. Must have been *very* secluded

Jarod looked at his watch, then looked up, making a calculation for the time zone difference. He smirked. "Right now, I believe she doesn't know that she is standing on an X."

Spokane, Washington
Same Time

Miss Parker stood next to Sydney in the doorway of Jarod's latest lair. There was no light switch next to the door, and with all the windows covered, the room was almost pitch black. She walked in and stopped when she bumped into a table. Above her, by the light of the hallway, she saw a metal ball chain, similar to the ones that connected to single light bulbs in old closets. With her free hand, she absently reached up and pulled the chain. The light didn't come on. Instead, she heard three small hisses, and she was suddenly assaulted by silly string from above. Miss Parker threw her hands up and turned her body, but it was coming from three directions. Instead of blocking the string, her hands caught and tangled it even more, helping to cover her torso.

After a minute, the barrage of string stopped. Sydney was still standing in the doorway, and the small amount of illumination that the hallway lights let in created a scene that was too funny not to laugh at. He stepped further into the room and looked at the bookcase directly next to the doorway. He pulled off the books on a shelf that was just below shoulder level. There was the hidden light switch where the books had been. He turned it on and florescent lights illuminated the room.

Parker looked like she had been slimed. Neon pink, green and blue silly string covered her head, shoulders and arms -- the colors stood out amazingly well on her black power suit. The only thing moving in the silent room was a green strand of silly string swaying slightly off her gun. Sydney looked up. The chain that she had pulled was actually connected to three strings that ran through pulleys. At the end of each string was a pin that had been inserted into the side of a can of silly string. The cans were duct taped to the ceiling. When Parker pulled the chain, the pins came out and the pressurized contents escaped from the puncture holes that were aimed directly at the X that Parker had been standing on. Sydney chuckled.

Miss Parker strode out of the room, pulling off the gobs of silly string that were attached to her hair and clothing. "I'm going to kill that bastard," she said through clenched teeth.

Sydney followed her out, still laughing.


As much as I am a shipper, I also love humiliating Parker >G This episode would probably fit somewhere in the first or second season, cause that's when he played the most pranks on her. *laugh*

Move on to the sequel: X Marks The Spot

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