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Disclaimer: The characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots etc.and the fictional Centre, are all property of MTM, TNT and NBC Productions and used without permission. I'm not making any money out of this and no infringement is intended.
Distribution: Take it if you will, but leave my name on it and drop me a line first.

Author’s note: I was just playing, and this has little plot and is somewhat confusing, but I had fun with it and, as my fans know, that’s all that matters to me anyway. And don’t mind the typos. I work fast and think faster and my poor digits cannot always keep pace. Enjoy dearies. On with the insanity.




To Catherine, In My Own Defense
by Matrea Nara




I’m so sorry Catherine. I failed you, all those years ago and again today and I remember how much faith you put in me. We tried. I swear to you we tried so hard! But we forgot where we came from, and there was no salvation for us in this place. No salvation anywhere.

We are at fault, and none else. You see, we desired the truth as much as they did and were are not half so adept as they in finding it. Oh you should see them Catherine! They are a mighty team, such skilled dancers. He without and her within, they play off each other well. Their compatibility, their natural amity, their affinity for each other is much in evidence. To see them you will understand that together they will not be broken, and so long as both live and remain in contact with each other they will not be kept long in the dark. But they tread too cautiously. It was not always so, and we know now how to remedy it.

We have come to a decision Catherine, the ultimate betrayal of that which you asked of us so long ago. Forgive me Catherine and know the choice was mine. Do not condemn the others I beg you. But Catherine in my own defense there is nothing else we can do. Should one of them die the other will break and rage and destroy all you built through us, your instruments. The players are all in place and the time is coming when we will have no choice but to act. They are strong, but they are flawed, and cannot do this thing themselves. Catherine I know you did not want this; in all your wisdom you knew far better than we did. Perhaps if you were here you could find another way, but you are not and we can think of nothing else. The boy must have his family, and we can no longer wait for her. I know you wanted us to keep them all together, and until now he has kept to her as much as he could, though we believe he is wary of her still for her Parker blood. But if he is sent to his family he will not stay, or so we suspect. I am sorry Catherine, so very sorry, but the time is coming when he will need to break away from this place for his own safety and hers, and that time is near at hand. If there was any way to keep them together…

Surely if they were given more time they would work it out on their own accord. They became very close in the second year of his half-freedom, but when Fenigore told her the lie about Charles she ripped away from him so sharply she’s still recovering from the whiplash, and the going has been slower since then. We cannot wait any longer, and it is hardly something we can demand of them. We will give the boy his family and she will be left alone but Catherine, what else can we do? They will send the cleaners after him soon and Jarod has to disappear. There is no patience in the Tower any longer; the shoot to kill order has already been issued, though it has not worked its way down to her yet. She will try and stop them and she will be killed, as you were for the same reasons. We cannot let that happen Catherine, but tell me what other choice is there? He must have his family and he must have Mirage and all his answers and he must disappear, there is no other solution.

So we have betrayed you Catherine, in the deepest possible way. We have sundered your dream and there are no words to expunge the guilt from us. She will bleed for the loss of him, and he will think much of her, we know. Maybe he won’t leave her, even with his family in his grasp. Their actions have never been easy to predict. Such vast minds and feral spirits act wholly of their own accord. Maybe if we asked her she would tell us, for she knows him better than we do. But we can’t ask her can we? She’ll balk at the merest suggestion and do everything in her power to stop us and everything in her power happens to be a great deal when she gets her blood up.

They’ll kill both boys sure enough if we don’t you have to understand, and her as she defends the pretender. She will defend him Catherine, rest assured. You see, no matter what the others say she is more your daughter than the child of the man you married. Her loyalties, her heart are not his any longer, and we will not see them killed. Forgive us dear Catherine.

It has already begun. We sent Charles to him, and gave them Emily. Emily was given Ethan some time ago, and when her father and brother join her it will be the end. We can only hope they reach her before your older son. You daughter senses it I think, the closing of the game. Their conversations have not been so sarcastic in recent days. If she goes with him the Centre will not take her back, but that it not such a terrible thing. Maybe she’ll go with him…we have no more time to wait. It has all been set in motion and I assure you we shall win this, and they will all escape with their lives if we have a say. You know dear Catherine, we have a say in all things.









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