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Disclaimer: The characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots etc. and the fictional Centre, are all property of MTM and NBC Productions and used without permission. I'm not making any money out of this and no infringement is intended.

Slight Language Warning: Miss Parker is upset and we all know she swears when she is upset, so... now you know and can enjoy!

Pretender Payback
PART 34: A nightmare without a name
by Mareen

When the new author joined the already present other fan fiction authors, Miss Parker smiled grimly.

"Well, well, I was wondering when you'd show up. But here you are at last. You know.." She said, "This is too funny. It's not just that I am constantly having Jarod's babies or miscarriages of Jarod`s babies. Now I even get damn FIRED by the Centre."

She angrily pointed at the author responsible for it.

"You'll pay for that!" she hissed. "Like all of you will for all the times I was having babies but none of you ever actually wrote about the fun! Where are the NC-17 stories, dammit? And what am I to you anyway? A walking Uterus? "

"We just believe, you and Jarod would fit perfectly together." Said one of the authors, who had gathered a bit away from her.

"It's just that we want the two of you live happily ever after." Another fan fiction author added. "You deserve it!"

Miss Parker smiled and the look of that specific smile send shivers down the spines of all the fan fiction authors.

"Well," Miss Parker said. "You want us happy, am I getting that right?"

"Yes." The authors said all together. They had hesitated a bit, but after all, it was just a plain and easy question, so they had decided it would be best to just answer it with the whole truth.

"Nice." Miss Parker went on. "And you want Jarod and me together?"

"YES!" the fan fiction authors said. "We want you happily ever after! We want you to have children! Freedom! A nice home with a white picket fence! A dog! Maybe a cat! Great jobs! A lot of --!"

"I am getting the picture!" Miss Parker stopped them. "There might be a way, you know? What about...sending Jarod and me on a vacation together? Wouldn't that be nice?" Miss Parker smiled. "All the romance. The nights at the beach. The sunsets. Imagine that! All the spectacular romantic conversations Jarod and I could have? What do you all think about that?"

"GREAT!" the fan fiction authors screamed. Everyone of them immediately started writing. Pencils scratched over paper. Fingers violently typed on keyboards.

Miss Parker just smiled. She looked at Jarod who had just mysteriously appeared beside her.

"Well?" He said.

"Got them." She answered.

"I knew you would make it." He grinned. Looking at the fan fiction authors, Jarod kept on clearing his throat for a long time, until they realized he was there and stopped writing.

"Ladies... and Gentleman of course," he said, "there's just one slight problem here."

"WHAT?" the authors asked. "We want romance. There can't be any problems."

"But there is one," Jarod went on. "Will you allow Miss Parker and me some romance by taking care of this `problem`? Remember! The sunset. The beach. Conversations."

"We will!" the authors answered altogether. "We. Want. Romance."

Jarod sighed. "We know that", he answered. "But is anyone of you aware how many children Miss Parker and I have thanks to you? Don't start counting. Dozens of them. Dozens. And, as Miss Parker already pointed out, we are a little bit...let`s say, frustrated that there are dozens of children but hardly any NC-17 stories about actually producing these children. To make it short: You want romance. WE want fun."

The fan fiction authors nodded sympathetically. "Of course", they said. "You deserve that, too."

"Okay, we are clear with that. We want fun. You want us to have it. - But we can't have fun on our vacation, when there are dozens of children who need to be taking care of. Bathing. Eating. The whole `unpretty` stuff besides that... You surely understand."

The fan fiction authors nodded again. Jarod smiled at them brightly.

"Thanks so much!" he said. "Well, here they come then."

Out of the nowhere, babies showed up. Few first, then more and more of them. The fan fiction authors stared at each other in disbelieve, then in shock when they realized what was going on. Dozens and dozens of babies and children of all ages. Screaming. Hungry. Dirty diapers. Hell couldn't be worse than that.

"NOOOOOOO!" the fan fiction authors screamed altogether.

Miss Parker smiled at them nicely. "We'll be back ... let's say, in around three weeks. Happy Baby-sitting!"

Miss Parker vanished laughing diabolically, with Jarod at her side.

by Mareen

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